BIKINI MED SCHOOL
(1996)

Starring Kim Dawson

This should not fall into the category of "movie".  It's a ridiculous amalgamation of four different types of footage that do not tie into each other at all:  co-ed "strippers" who dance but don't strip, women dancing at a club with a DJ, black & white stock footage of doctors and scientists, and students talking about or engaging in sex.  Second rate hair metal permeates each of the scenes, and the songs actually repeat after a while.  I'm ashamed of myself for even noticing that.  I'm ashamed of myself for actually watching the whole thing. 

There is no plot.  And I might have said that about other movies and meant that the plot was really simple.  But for Bikini Med School, I mean that there was NO PLOT.  There is some dialogue, but after hearing it, you'd wish there wasn't.  Here's a small sample:

Unfortunately, that conversation doesn't end there, but I just couldn't type anymore without hurling.  They (and by "they" I mean the slimy creators of this celluloid waste) tried to fill in the parts of the movie without story (which is the whole thing) with gratuitous shots of thonged girls' crotches.  And while that might sound like a good premise - it gets old real quick.  Especially when these girls who are dancing in wet T-shirts and lingerie never actually strip.  Yes, there is some nudity, but no where near the amount you would expect from a movie with "bikini" in the title. 

I could go on & on about this trash, but I'll keep it short - just don't see this movie.  Even if you're just looking for a cheesy T&A movie on late night cable - this movie does not deliver. 
 
 

BIKINI HOUSE CALLS
(1996)
Starring Kim Dawson
 

Like a recurring nightmare, the lice that brought us Bikini Med School continued their defecation with Bikini House Calls, which looks like it was filmed the same night as its predecessor.  The same formula applies, with the same party, the same cast, the same background music, and the same old stock footage.  However, they did spice things up with an open mic fake orgasm contest.  And they got a little more creative with the "story".  There's aphrodisiacs, itching powder pranks, and discussions about reincarnation.  And there's also the annoying non-stripping strippers, the homely DJ in a white leather jacket with frills, and the "The Doctor is In" sign on the Tunnel of Love room.  My recommendation is to avoid this at all costs as well.  Besides the slightly (and I do mean slightly) more inspired plot points, this is the same pile of dung as Bikini Med School.