Smorgasbord
of Crappola
MOVIES
THE
BRAIN THAT
WOULDN'T
DIE
(1963)
Featuring
a disembodied head in
a lasagna
pan

As the movie starts,
we're in an operating room where a man has just died.
However, one crazed
scientist believes he can bring him back. A little
heart massage and brain
poking, and voila, the man has been brought back to
life. As we learn
more about this doctor, we see how crazed he is.
Conducting experiments
on humans in his country home/laboratory, stealing
limbs from the amputee
section of the hospital, and wanting to get married.
The doctor's fiancé
is curious of this country home she's never seen, so the
two head up there.
The doctor is in a rush because of a message he got from
his assistant, so he's
flooring the gas pedal. Cue the screeching tire
sound effects!
They end up crashing, with the doctor being thrown from the
car and rolling down
a hill. When he gets to his feet, he goes toward the
burning car, reaches
in with his jacket in his hands, and pulls out
something the size of
a football. He then quickly staggers home.
He gets home and we see
what he has taken - his fiancé's head! He's placed
her in a big casserole
dish, with some filtered neck juice, and she is
alive! Not only
that, she can talk, breathe, and laugh - all without lungs!
He is now intent on
finding her a new body, and transplanting her head to
that body. Now,
the complex story splits into two - one thread follows the
doctor into his obsessive
search for a body, and the other follows the
head's discovery of
her telepathic powers and her thirst for revenge!
The movie gets a little
more wacky (if you can believe it) as the doctor
heads to burlesque houses,
best body competitions, or just cruises the
street, checking out
every girl in a tight skirt! I guess he's got fine
taste cause he can't
find what he's looking for at any of these places.
Luckily, he does find
a "model", who lets lecherous guys take pictures of
her in a bikini, and
convinces her to let him help her with some plastic
surgery (to remove a
scar). All hell breaks loose once he gets her home,
though, because the
maddened head now has control of the thing in the
closet. And by
the thing in the closet, I mean the mute abomination that
embodies all of the
doctor's experimental failures. And quite a bite on
him, too!
This is one classic cult
b-movie. Horrible in every aspect. An
unbelievable plot, bad
acting, bad effects, overly long scenes that lead
nowhere, exploitation,
... but you know what? It's fun to watch. I know
it's been on MST3K,
but it's fun to have your own comments while watching
this trash. Plus,
there's an infamous gore scene near the end that must
have really shocked
audiences of the early 60s. Watch this one on your bad
movie night!
Quality: 1.5 Visuals:
2.0 Intensity: 2.5 Laughability: 7.0
OVERALL RATING: 3.3
reviewed
2004
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