Quick Rating:  **

 
Wow!  You know there are some stinker superhero movies out there, but this ranks right down with the worst.  Granted, Captain America was never a great character to work with anyway, and I can't believe they're going to try to make a Cap movie in the coming years, but this movie really blows.  I gave it two stars because you can certainly enjoy yourself laughing at it.
 
Anyway, we start in Italy, 1936.  A piano playing boy is taken by the Nazi's (because of his intelligence!) and his family is killed.  They inject the boy with some serum that made a laboratory rat into a stop motion monster.  He becomes the Red Skull.
 
The brains behind the serum defected to America, where she recreated the formula (and apparently had time to make a fire-proof costume and a bullet proof shield) for the Red, White & Blue.  It's 1943 now and America is in the war, and they choose Steve Rogers, a young guy with polio, to try their super-soldier serum on.  It seems to work but the doctor is killed by the Nazis, and her secret serum dies with her.  Good thing we still had Captain America!
 
His first mission - drop in on the Nazi's and stop a missile aimed at the US.  Super soldier or not, I can't believe the Americans would send him in without a single weapon.  But anyway, he discus-throws his way into the Red Skull's stronghold, but cannot defeat the deformed maniac.  They fasten Cap, get this, to the missile, and launch (while Red Skull is standing next to the missile... ?).
 
Cap & the missile rocket toward the White House.  Not until he's almost on top of the White House does Captain America decide to try something.  He kicks one of the rudders just before a picture snapping kid gets a closeup photograph of the hero (remember he's riding a missile!), which changes the missile's trajectory, and he ends up in ... Alaska!   For some reason the missile doesn't explode, and Cap just chills out (pun intended).
 
50 years later, that little picture taking boy is the President, and people stumble upon a frozen Captain America.  (Where's the missile?)  Cap escapes, and now the Nazis are after him, as well as a nosy reporter (Ned Beatty).  And the movie gets worse from there.
 
Horrible story, bad music, bad acting, bad photography... and one of the ugliest costumes you'll ever see on film.  When he's dressed up, Cap looks like he just stepped off the short bus. 
 

Did you notice?: 
The Nazi's captured him and strapped him to a missile.  Why did they send his shield with him?
 

Did you notice2?: 
The good captain catches a ride in the back of a Molsen truck in the Yukon.  He gets out at his home town near Venice Beach, CA.  Nevermind the incredible coincidence, but didn't the driver have to make any deliveries along the way?
 
 

 



 
 

Quality: 1.0  Visuals: 2.0  Intensity: 3.5  Laughability: 5.0
OVERALL RATING: 2.9