Smorgasbord of Crappola 
MOVIES
 

CREATURE
(1985)
Starring Klaus Kinski
 



A silly little ripoff of Alien, "Creature" starts out by telling us that two
corporations (Richter Dynamics and NTI) are in a race for commercial
supremacy.  And I guess that relates to outer space exploration somehow.
So, then the action starts on Saturn's largest moon.  A couple of guys find
a cannister with a dead creature in it.  However, the creature is not so
dead, but the crew of this expedition soon is.

They send in a new research team.  And we have a bunch of stereotypical
characters.  We have a gratuitous sex scene, and then some arguments between
the commander of the mission (who looks like he could be the father from any
80's sitcom) and the captain of the ship.  Their arguing causes the ship to
crash, and they're forced to ask the competitor's ship for help (I think the
heroes are from NTI and the competitors are then Richter).  So they go to
the other ship, and find nothing but dead bodies.  Nothing that is except
for the alien monster who has done all the killing.  And soon enough he's
killing the members of this expedition one by one.  Then a German (I think?)
guy shows up unexpectedly (Kinski) and hits on their female robot (not sure
if she's a robot, but sure acts like it).  So these uninteresting people now
have their hands full trying to kill this creature from Saturn's moon!

Pretty obvious and poor rip-off.  But, there was some fun - mostly the
killings.  There's a good amount of blood and gore - skin ripping, head
explosions, and the like.  Don't expect a very intellectual story, or
reasonable actions (or reactions) by the characters, or much
knuckle-whitening tension...  Actually, just skip it.  That way, you won't
expect anything, and you won't get anything.
 
 
 

Quality: 2.5  Visuals: 2.5  Intensity: 3.0  Gore: 5.0 
OVERALL RATING: 3.3

reviewed 2003