Four lifelong friends are in Maine on a hunting trip when they encountered
more than they expected.  The friends (with nicknames such as "Beaver" and
"Jonsey") discuss the past and a common friend that they had - Duddits.  You
see, Duddits was a retarded boy who the four found being harassed by the
high school quarterback.  Duddits was in his tightie whities and the bullies
were trying to feed him dog shit.  After the boys save him, he gives them
all special abilities.  Abilities that will hopefully save their lives
during their current trip.

The guys run into people (and animals) that seem to have a strange disease.
And then they find out the whole area is quarantined.  Things really get
exciting when the dude they found starts farting and shitting blood - and
with it a giant space slug.

That describes the first half of the movie, which was actually quite
entertaining.  It was cheesy at times, but there were some cool scenes.
However, the movie really descends from there.  The rest of the movie, we're
treated to Morgan Freeman (and his eyebrows, which are the real stars of
this film) and Tom Sizemore as secret government agents trying to close off
an area around an alien crash.  These aliens are causing the disease, and
there's shit weasels and space worms and god-knows-what-else.  It got very
cliché, and very tiresome as the movie went on.  For some local excitement,
it does take place in Maine, and many New England areas/roads/reservoirs are
mentioned.

That cannot save this movie, though.  The script was deplorable.  And most
of the bad lines fell Freeman's way.  I cringed every time Freeman called
someone "Bucko", and his discussion on why he didn't want to see Americans
suffer ("they can't miss an episode of 'Friends'") was painful.  That's not
to say that the rest of the cast was left out of the bad lines.  Sizemore
discusses how the "shit hits the planetary fan".  And the four friends have
more annoying sayings than Pokemons.  If someone tells me "Fuck me, Freddy"
or "Fuckeree, Fuckeroo" or "memory warehouse" or "I Duddits!", I might just
punch them in the face right then and there.  Besides the dialog, the first
part of the movie was good - mysterious, suspenseful, funny at times.  But
it just went downhill way too fast.  I should have realized it when there
was a overabundance of fart jokes.  On the good side, the special effects
were fantastic - whether it was the multitoothed phallic slugs emerging from
human asses, or the alien spaceship, or Freeman's aforementioned eyebrows.

But the movie also taught me a few things.  1) Retarded people have special
powers.   2) People with mysterious British accents are aliens, and 3) If
you rant and rave about aliens and then talk into a gun as if it were a
phone, government agents will entirely believe your story and risk their
lives to help you.  The only way I can end this review is "Hello, Mr. Gay".
 
 
 

Quality: 3.5  Visuals: 6.5  Intensity: 3.5  Laughability: 3.0
OVERALL RATING: 4.1