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MOVIES THE FANTASTIC FOUR
Wow, this just drips with cheese. Story is that the company that made this film made it so that they could keep the licensing for these Marvel comic book superheroes. So they invested a measily $2 million and had this movie made, and then shelved it. It was a smart idea not to release it to theaters, but they should've had it direct-to-video. For those of you who don't know, the Fantastic Four are a four-person team of superheroes, each with different super-human abilities. As the movie starts, uberbrain Reed Richards and his friend Victor are in college (in a class taught by Cmdt Lassard from the Police Academy movies (Gaynes)), and developing some sort of super-mega-ultra-device. And Colossus comes that night. What Colossus is, I'm not really sure... it was kinda like Aurora Borealis on acid. And that must have caused some sort of malfunction with their device and Victor gets fried. Ten years later, Reed has finished the project, and enlists the help (of ridiculously under-qualified) of Johnny and Susan Storm (siblings). Apparently he hasn't seen these friends in 10 years because he's blown away by Susan's beauty. Toss in Ben Grimm, and this foursome is ready to head into outer space on Reed's craft (I told you they were under-qualified!). One of the worst lines in the film comes when Ben & Reed go to the Storm household. Grimm says to Mrs. Storm "Hi Mrs. Storm. Can Johnny and Susan go to outer space with us?". Commence cringing. Now, apparently, they need this giant diamond to allow this device to function. But some baddies have their eyes on this diamond. A mysterious masked character named Doom (yes, the Dr. Doom from Marvel comics) has two cronies trying to get the diamond. And, an old midget who lives in the sewer and goes by the name of "The Jeweler" (is he supposed to be the MoleMan from comics?) wants the diamond to impress a blind girl that he peeps on. Moving right along, the diamond gets stolen and replaced with a cheap imitation. The four go into space, but the device malfunctions because of the faux diamonds and the crew is bombarded with cosmic radiation (?) and the ship explodes. The four wake up on Earth, surrounded by flaming debris. And they're perfectly fine. How did they survive? Weirder than that, they each have special powers. Reed can stretch his body (although he only stretches his arms and legs), Susan can turn invisible (and her clothes, too!), Johnny can create fire without a match, and Ben has turned into a giant rock man (and he didn't even realize it at first!). So, now with their powers, they're out to fight the mysterious Doom and the Jeweler, and save the blind girl that Ben loves. This movie is really bad. It certainly has a laugh factor, especially for comic fans. But everything about the movie screams Low Budget! The acting, the script, the "special" effects, the bad comedy, the cheesy costumes. I could go on and on. Wait till you see the Fantastic Four bright blue spandex! And the last scene, which features said costumes in an inappropriate situation, is very laughable. Don't expect much, and you'll enjoy yourself watching this one... great for a bad movie night! Quality: 2.0 Visuals:
4.0 Intensity: 5.0 Laughability: 7.5 reviewed
2004
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