Smorgasbord
of Crappola
MOVIES
THE
INCREDIBLE HULK: MARRIED
(1978)
Starring
Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno

Dr. David Banner, seeking
to rid himself of his green alter-ego, travels to
Hawaii to find the famous
Dr. Fields who may be able to help him. He finds
this doctor, but just
as she's leaving the institute to go on sabbatical.
He ends up following
her home, and stalking around her house, and finds her
in a self-hypnotic state.
She falls, having an episode, which sparks Banner
to take action.
He saves her, and the doctors end up trying to help each
other. It turns
out Dr. Fields has a terminal disease, one that Dr. Banner
studied before his wife
died. So, if he can help her prolong her demise,
she might be able to
help his green beast.
The two grow found of
each other while working together, and then fall in
love, and then marry.
Isn't life wonderful? Of course, she does still
have the terminal disease.
And he still has his monster, which could come
out at any time and
ruin a perfectly good luau.
This movie was boring.
I want to see the Hulk in hypnotherapy about as much
as I want to see Bill
Bixby is tight white short shorts. Unfortunately, I
get both in this TV
movie. There are scenes that just go on forever...
just as overcame the
nauseousness from the extra long scene of some kid on
the beach chasing a
frisbee, I'm subjected to Bixby telling stories of
tigers and wild strawberries
growing out of cliffs. Oof. Now when Bixby is
serious, he's great...
but when he tries to do comedy - look out. His John
Wayne impressions will
leave you stupified. And his japanese accent is even
worse! At least
we get a couple scenes with the Hulk, even though most of
them are in a dream
desert, with Banner trying to trap him. But there is
that one when he attacks
the swingers, throwing furniture and ripping off
toupees. Too bad
the rest of the movie is not worth sitting through for the
laughs.
Did You Notice?: For
a guy who goes through as many shirts as David Banner
does, he travels with
an extremely small bag.
Quality: 2.0 Visuals:
3.0 Intensity: 2.0 Laughability: 4.0
OVERALL RATING: 2.8
reviewed
2003
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