Smorgasbord
of Crappola
MOVIES
THE
INCREDIBLE HULK RETURNS
(1988)
Starring
Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno

David Banner hasn't turned
into the Hulk for two years when this made-for-TV
movie starts.
It doesn't take long for that to change. David, under yet
another clever fake
name, has helped build the Gamma Ray Transponder, which
he believes will rid
him of his terrible curse once and for all. He's also
fallen in love (yet
again), but hasn't told her of his secret, hoping he
won't have to once the
transponder does it's job. So, late one night, David
is in the lab, and about
to turn the transponder, when... lo and behold,
some goofy looking kid
with a grappling hook has snuck his way into this
classified lab and interferes.
As it turns out, this kid, Donald Blake, was
inspired by Dr. Banner
years prior, and is now a scientist with a secret,
too. Blake's story
is wilder than Banner's. He went on an Arctic
expedition, when he
found an ice cave. In this cave, he found old Norse
artifacts, including
the tomb of a warrior king named Thor. He opened the
tomb to find an old
Viking war hammer. Grabbing the hammer caused the
spirit of Thor to arise,
and since that day, Blake has had control of this
powerful warrior.
You got all that?
Well, of course, David
doesn't believe Blake's story, so Blake summons Thor.
The unsophisticated
Viking makes Banner angry. And you wouldn't like Banner
when he's angry.
Then, two Marvel Titans battle (and damage David's
transponder).
Don't worry, they all become friends and then fight the real
villains - a couple
of Cajun baddies who want the transponder for
themselves. After
their first attempt to steal it is thwarted by the green
guy, they stoop to kidnapping
Banner's girlfriend. It's then up to the Hulk
and Thor (and Blake)
to save her.
Formulaic story with
much focus on the fish-out-of-water Thor. His
over-the-top heroism
and righteous attitude clash oh-so-humorously with the
straight-from-the-80's
Blake. Wait till you see Thor in a biker bar -
drinkin', arm-wrasslin',
and a-flirtin'. It gets annoying real quick, but
it also picks up the
pace from the normally depressing "Incredible Hulk"
storylines. No
real surprises, no real substance, but enough wackiness and
action to keep your
attention.
Lesson Learned:
If you have any computer parts you'd like to destroy, throw
them in a microwave!
Quality: 2.5 Visuals:
2.5 Intensity: 3.5 Laughability: 5.0
OVERALL RATING: 3.4
reviewed
2003
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