Those of you who say you've seen a bad movie can no longer use the word
"bad" unless you've seen this garbage.  A family is driving somewhere in
the southwestern US.  And they keep on driving.  And we see footage of
scenery as they drive by.  And then some more scenery.  And they're driving.
And there's some more scenery.  Boy, isn't this fun?  Oh, and then one
person says a line.  And we see more scenery.

The longest and most painful introduction to a movie ever.  And it is very
indicative of the rest of the movie to follow.  Any sane person watching
these first 5-10 minutes would have changed the channel, or turned off the
DVD, or burned the tape.  But not I, no, I continued watching this train
wreck.  The family eventually get lost.  They come to a building that wasn't
there before.  And they are greeted by Torgo.  Torgo is a twitching, hairy,
odd, dirty man with bumpy knees and a hand staff who is the caretaker of the
building while his master is away.  Torgo's knees are gigantic, and as he
walks, it seems like he's dancing in pain.  Despite better judgment, the
family decide to stay in this establishment.  And then bad things happen.
But not bad enough to make you interested.  Things like a creepy painting of
a man and a dog.  Things like Torgo's eyebrows.  Or their poodle being
killed.

The plot (and I use the term very loosely) basically goes nowhere, but we
end up meeting "the Master" who is pale and moustached, and wears a full
robe with large hands on them.  And we meet his many wives, who argue and
bicker with each other.  This leads to an interesting scene of women
wrestling in their nightgowns.

Everything about this movie is abysmal. The plot, the dialogue, the pacing,
the acting, the makeup, the editing, the camerawork, the music, the sound
effects, the visual effects, everything!  And I can appreciate a bad movie.
But this film is simply painful.  Recommended only to those B-movie fans who
have to torture themselves periodically.
 
 
 

Quality: 0.5  Visuals: 1.0  Intensity: 0.5  Laughability: 1.5 
OVERALL RATING: 0.9