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MOVIES MR. VAMPIRE
It's very hard to describe this movie. You really have to see it to believe it. It's about Chinese vampires. If you're asking what chinese vampires are... well, they are kinda like zombies and kinda like vampires... but they have different rules. They tend to hop around. If you put a sticky note on their forehead, they stop moving. If you hold your breath, the vampire cannot see you. Oh, and sticky rice burns their flesh. Is that enough to interest you? I thought so. You'll learn much more by watching the movie. Anyway, the film is a horror/comedy/kung fu movie, with a good amount of each, and it will definitely make you laugh. A master and his two students are tasked with re-burying the father of a wealthy man. You see, a fortune teller told the man to rebury his father after he had been dead for 20 years. So, they are to rebury him, but something goes wrong and the father becomes a vampire. He's on the loose, and no one's safe. The vampire virus spreads to some of the main characters. But luckily, if you dance alot and jump around on top of uncooked sticky rice, then the virus will magically go away. One of the other characters has a lusty ghost lure him with her spell of sex, and he can only be saved by... ahh.. well, I'm not really sure what he was saved by. All this, and the original vampire grows more powerful and attacks them all! This is funny funny stuff. There is some intentional humor in there... the student's unfamiliarity with coffee, there's a whorehouse joke, and some sort of voodoo-make-the-guy-slap-himself-in-the-face humor. But just the daffiness of chinese vampires and those who fight them are reason enough to watch this film. There's also plenty of unintentional humor - bad makeup, obvious dummies being thrown around and they're supposed to look like humans, and wires in plain sight holding up flying and jumping characters! Where else can you find a movie with hopping vampires, a flying head, lusty ghosts, sticky rice, a unibrowed master, an incestuous cousin, attacking hair, soul-sucking, cross-dressing, and ghost hickies? Nowhere I tells ya! And if you ever think you're having a bad day, try fighting off your dead uncle before he bites you in the crotch! Quality: 3.5 Visuals:
4.5 Intensity: 6.0 Laughability: 7.5 reviewed
2005
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