Smorgasbord
of Crappola
MOVIES
PIECES
(1983)
Starring
Christopher George
&
Lynda Day George

As bad movies go, this
one is pretty enjoyable. If you can overlook the dim
lighting, the atrocious
acting, the cheesy music, and the bad editing. It's
the ridiculous story
and the gore that make this film. We start in the
1940s when a mother
discovers her young son putting together a jigsaw puzzle
of a naked woman.
She abuses the boy verbally and physically, to which he
responds with an axe
to the head. Fast forward to the 1980s, and this
psycho is killing coeds
on a college campus in Boston with a chainsaw. Then
we're treated to a combination
whodunnit/slasher pic the rest of the way.
Well worth watching
all the way through (that is, if you're a B-movie
junkie).
The story is full of
holes (possibly intentional), but the lunacy of some
scenes made me laugh
out loud. And, isn't that what a B-movie is all about?
To give you some examples
of what I mean:
-
A famous tennis star, who
also happens to be a detective, is hired undercover by the college as a
tennis instructor. And the one time we see her actually play tennis
is the worst display of tennis I have ever seen on film. Ever.
-
To keep the audience guessing,
many characters are "shady" and appear at the killing scenes, exhibiting
strange behavior, and there's no consequences for their actions.
A college student found at the scene of one murder is actually made an
honorary cop, despite being a suspect. The burly school janitor (and
his chainsaw) is confronted by cops at a murder scene and he fights the
cops. He's finally subdued, but later, he is released from custody
because "they didn't have enough evidence" to hold him.
-
A woman walking alone on
the street, at night, is attacked by a martial artist. She kicks
him in the crotch, taking him down, and when we discover he's the karate
instructor, he makes a comment about "bad chop suey" and walks away.
Oh, and there's plenty
more, but I don't want to ruin it all for you.
Anyway, this movie should
keep you laughing, and there's some great gore,
and a few nudie scenes.
What more could you ask for?
tagline: "It's Exactly
What You Think It Is!"
Quality: 3.5 Visuals:
3.0 Intensity: 3.5 Laughability: 5.5 Gore 6.0
OVERALL RATING: 4.3
reviewed
2003
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