|
MOVIES PING! 
Quick Rating:
* In the first couple minutes of this movie, we have someone falling into a cake, and a bite to the crotch. You know it's going to be quality from then on! Ping! is a chihuahua (who goes unnamed until the very end when his resiliance is related to that of a ping pong ball) being chased by 2 rottweilers and then gets caught by the dog catcher (Ferrigno). Oh, and the dogs talk, by the way. I know, you've never seen that in a movie before... but yes they talk. There are some horrible lines that they spew, most of which are out-of-character, or with bad accents. So, our hero is at the pound, and some rich old broad (Shirley Jones) picks him out, thinking he's a cat, for her granddaughter. I really started to lose interest here... but the granddaughter is super smart (aren't all kids in movies?), but is introverted because her parents died in a plane crash (insert sad music). The grandmother plays the sax at clubs and is hounded by the IRS because she keeps cash in her house. The main plot, however, involves two bumbling crooks (Reinhold and Howard) who attempt to break into the house while the old lady is blowing her sax. The only ones who can stop them? The granddaughter who's usually buried in a book with her headphones on, the cheerleader-turned-goth babysitter who loves to make out with her boyfriend Drac out by the gazebo, and the chihuahua. Copy and paste scenes and gags from Home Alone, insert Judge Reinhold and Clint Howard as the crooks, and insert a rat-dog as Macaulay Culkin. Oh, and make it less funny. This movie is pathetic. Only a 4 year old would find entertainment in it (and maybe that was their target demographic, but even so, it's a bad movie). The jokes are horrible (the only good one involves a catapult, designed and built by the dog mind you, made from bras, which Ping! calls a booby-trap!), the plot is paper thin with huge holes (this super rich woman doesn't have a security system in her house?), and it's just plain ridiculous at some points (Ping! flying a kite, or the kite flying him). I can't even imagine why these stars... wait, no one who is in a movie about a day-dreaming ass-kicking chihuahua called Ping! can ever be called a star... I can't even imagine why these known actors would show their faces in this piece of garbage. However, their faces are the only thing that kept this from being a "0" rating. You can let out a good laugh seeing Lou Ferrigno in a diaper, Shirley Jones in big glasses, Judge Reinhold getting bit on the nose, or Clint Howard getting stuck on the wall by a spear that went only through his shirt above his shoulder. And not the good kind of laugh, either. Quality: 1.0 Visuals:
3.0 Intensity: 2.5 Laughability: 2 reviewed
2005
|