Quick Rating: *
 
 
 
This 2-hour TV event has been forgotten by the star wars community, and ignored by Lucas and company since its airing on November 17, 1978.  And rightfully so.  This is one giant piece of garbage that lowers the integrity of the classic Star Wars films we have cherished.  A special note though, regarding this once (and only once) aired special - it had many of the actors from the Star Wars movie in their same roles.  It's interesting to see them on the small screen, but unfortunately, the story revolves not around them, but around Chewbacca's family.  Yes, Chewbacca's family.  You see there's Malla his wife, Lumpy his son, and Itchy his father.  I kid you not - Lumpy and Itchy are their actual names.  And yes, they are all wookies.
 
Han is trying to get Chewie home to see his family for Life Day, but they run into some Imperial forces.  Meanwhile, Chewie's family are anxious to see their loved one, but they still continue their everyday activities.  Lumpy wants to play but Malla makes him do his chores first, while Itchy carves X-wing models.  And if you think that's cute, then you're really off the mark.  The first 10 minutes you hear not a word of English - just wookies moaning and groaning to each other.  It is truly painful.  And just after your nerves have been fried, and you think anything other than wookie noises would be better, they subject you to something worse.  First up, the kid, Lumpy, is given some entertainment, to keep himself busy.  It's the holographic table, with little dancers, jugglers, and trapeze artists.  They're bizarrely dressed in bright colors and dance to horrible 70's synthesized music, but Lumpy seems to like it.
 
The family still waits for Chewie, and the "action" is broken up with various interruptions, all annoying to us sane viewers.  First, they decide to call Luke Skywalker - a dolled-up Mark Hamill who's loaded with makeup and sporting a girl's haircut.  Then, we watch a Wookie trading post, where Art Carney attempts to sell a pocket-sized aquarium to an Imperial guard.  Funny stuff!  Then we get a cooking show, where some annoying robot looking thing cooks bantha surprise, and spouts such drivel as "yummy yum in their tummy tum" !  Ugh, shoot me now.  There is no way that anyone can watch this entire thing without fast forwarding at some point.  I couldn't do it, and I'm a big Star Wars fan.
 
Meanwhile, Han & Chewie are fighting off Imperial forces in what is obviously footage from the movie.  Back to the wookies, and Art Carney has delivered presents for the Chewbacca clan, including some sort of video for Itchy (that's the old wookie).  The video starts out like an acid trip, and then turns into some porno-like dialog from Diahann Carroll (that Itchy really enjoys!) and then into a long ear-piercing song.  Oof, can this get any worse?
 
Yes, it can.  After a pointless scene where C-3PO and Princess Leia check in on Malla, stormtroopers invade the Chewbacca household, and Art Carney (yes, he's still there) entertains one of the guards with a box that plays a Jefferson Starship video.  And we are subjected to the entire, abysmal song.
 
The best part of this special (which isn't saying much) is a 10 minute cartoon featuring the characters from the movies, and introducing Boba Fett.  Not much of a story, but interesting to see the characters we know & love in an animated format.
 
Back to the torture - The guards then decide to watch TV, and guess what's on?  It's Life on Tatooine!  There's some scenes from the Mos Eisley cantina, with many of the weird aliens from the movie.  And Bea Arthur is the bartender.  Oh, isn't she a hoot!  Some old guy comes into the bar, and hits on her (doesn't he realize she's Bea Arthur??).  Then, to impress her, he pours a drink into the hole on top of his head.  Luckily, this scene seems to be coming to an end when an Imperial officer comes on the wall-screen to announce a curfew on Tatooine - effective immediately, everyone must go home.  Unfortunately, the scene does not end, as the patrons want another round.  Bea tries to get them to leave, but they won't have it.  So, then she sings.  Yes, Bea Arthur sings.  And wouldn't you know it, that gets them all to leave... eventually.
 
I don't want to ruin the ending... oh hell, you ain't gonna watch this.  Han & Chewie make it home, and the wookies can celebrate Life Day as they dress in cloaks and march into a sun where Carrie Fisher sings horribly to the Star Wars theme music.  Oof.
 
Like I said, this special is crap.  It's understandable why it's never seen the light of day since the initial airing.  You can find bootlegs of it online (as I have), but that's about it.  What's amazing is that they were able to make the Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi after this aired.  I'm surprised anyone would even be interested after watching this!  The only reason I give it one star is because it has the original actors, and it's amusing to laugh at how pathetic they all are in this.
 

 
 

Quality: 1.5  Visuals: 0.5  Intensity: 1.5  Laughability: 3.0 
OVERALL RATING: 1.6