Smorgasbord of Crappola 
MOVIES
 

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE
(2003)
Starring Jessica Biel & R. Lee Ermey



 
Quick Rating: **
 
 
This is a bigger budget remake of the classic horror flick from the early 70s.  Five young people are traveling through Texas in 1973 (However, watching the film, you would guess it was current day rather than 30 years ago.  The kids seem like kids of today, with no "dating" of their language, style, etc.).  Anyway, they pass by a crazed hitchhiker, and decide to pick her up.  She's obviously troubled, and removes all doubt of that as she pulls out a gun and blows a hole in the back of her head.  The kids freak out and try to find help in this remote Texas town.  They are lead on a wild goose chase trying to find a sheriff.  (And once they do, they wished they hadn't!).  And this goose chase leads them to Leatherface and his clan of psychos.
 
This movie is not very good.  There are plot holes and some poor acting, and not much reasoning or thought behide the characters actions.  Visually, it looked very good.  I liked the angles and lighting, and the scene-setting shots.  But, the movie was not as suspenseful or scary as it should have been.  The acting, besides Biel, who did a believable job as the scared but brave heroine, and Ermey as the perverted sheriff, was pretty poor.  The whole chase at the end of the movie wasn't even keeping my attention.  And the ending I didn't really care for either.  On the good side, Biel is pleasant on the eyes, and Leatherface had a lot of screen time (although, one could argue that he shouldn't have much screen time at all), and there are some gory and gruesome scenes.
 
All in all, it's worth watching once, but it's not great.  And it doesn't touch the original.
 

 
 

Quality: 3.0  Visuals: 8.0  Intensity: 4.0  Gore: 6.0 
OVERALL RATING: 6.3

reviewed 2004