When I first heard they were making a big budget Van Helsing movie, I was
excited.  When I heard that Stephen Sommers, the guy who remade the Mummy
into a comedic action adventure movie, I lost my enthusiasm.  I did not
enjoy the Mummy at all.  I'm a fan of the old Universal horror movies, and
the Hammer horror movies with Peter Cushing as Van Helsing, and I could not
see how this new version could come close to those.  As we got bombarded
with advertising for this film (it's opening marks the official start of the
summer movie season), I checked out some of the early reviews, and they
weren't so good.  I debated whether seeing the movie.  But, my monster side
could not be denied - a movie with Frankenstien's monster, Dracuula, AND the
Wolfman - I had to see it, no matter how bad the reviews were.

So, I saw Van Helsing on opening night, on a digital screen (wow - the
digital picture was phenomenal!  I was lucky enough to see the Spider-man 2
trailer, and it kicked ass!).  I figured I'd either love this movie or hate
it.  I was wrong.  I neither loved nor hated Van Helsing.  There were things
I enjoyed and liked and other things that I loathed.  Basically, it was a
hollywood action adventure with an overabundance of CGI effects, which
happened to have a bunch of classic monsters.  It's better than the Mummy,
but it's not a great movie.

I really liked the opening scene.  The Universal Studios logo lost it's
color, going to black and white, as furious townsfolk are wielding torches,
shovels, and rakes, storming a giant castle, Castle Frankenstien, during a
lightning storm.  The doctor is creating life from an inanimate mass of body
parts, and Dracula is there watching the proceedings.  The monster is alive,
and we learn that Dracula has his own plans for Dr. Frankenstein and his
monster.  As they realize the castle is being attacked, they try to escape
to a windmill (by the way, there's lots of references to the old films,
which I appreciated), and it is burned down.

Fast forward a year, and we meet Van Helsing, a man who has a reputation of
hunting down evil.  He's in Paris, chasing a monster to Notre Dame.  I
thought at first it was the hunchback, but it turned out to be Mr. Hyde.
After their battle, Van Helsing returns to Rome (well, the Vatican, really),
where he apparently gets his assignments and the latest technology in
weapons (very much like James Bond, except Q is a fryar).  His next job is
in Transylvania, to help the last two members of a family (Kate Beckinsale
and her brother) vanquish Count Dracula before he kills them both.  The rest
of the movie features Van Helsing and the chick fighting not only Dracula,
but his three vampire brides, the wolfman, some sort of gnomes, lil'
vampires, and Frankenstein's monster.

Ok, what I liked.  I enjoyed seeing all the familiar monsters.  Some of the
special effects were fantastic.  The wolfman ones in particular I thought
were well done.  I'm glad they included Igor, and the coffin-maker.  The
opening scene was fantastic.  The many references to the old movies were
well appreciated.  The location shots and creepy atmosphere was well done.
Oh, and I liked how they handled Frankenstein's monster.  kudos on that.

What I did not like.  The ridiculousness of the action scenes.  Why did
every character have to swing on a giant rope at different points in the
movie?  Did Stephen Sommers want to be an acrobat or something?  There must
have been 5 or 6 different scenes in which a major character is swinging on
a fantastically long rope or chain or cable, that just happens to be the
right length in order to reach something... the other side of a cliff, a
castle, a person, whatever.  Five or Six different scenes!  Think about
that!  This is not Spider-man.  Nor Tarzan (although Jackman's wardrobe near
the end would suggest differently).  This is Van Helsing.  There was no need
for all that swinging.

I didn't care for some of the acting.  Dracula wasn't very good, but he was
much better than his annoying brides and their fake accents.  I didn't care
for some of the special effects.  The growing mouths of the vampires - I
understand the logistics - in order to bite someone's neck like that,, you
need a bigger jaw - but it just doesn't look right on the screen.  I didn't
like how the brides looked in their winged forms.  And there were a few
"transformation" scenes that made me cringe.

But most of all, what I didn't like was the overall Indiana-Jones actiony
feel of the film.  There was WAY too much action.  It became unnerving after
a while.  You didn't even care about the action because there was just too
much of it.  And it was all seat-of-your-pants, just-in-the-nick-of-time,
this-rope-is-just-the-right-length, matrix-style-acrobatics,
I-can-get-thrown-against-a-rock-wall-by-a-super-powered-being-and-still-land
-on-my-feet type of action.  And the cheesy lines in the action sequences
were pure Hollywood crap.  I also didn't like the magical aspect... the
moving painting, the abra-cadabra scene, and the tear from heaven.  The TEAR
FROM HEAVEN ... yes, you heard right.  I just laughed at that scene - I
couldn't hold it any longer.

But I don't want you to turn away from the movie based on what I didn't
like.  I enjoyed many parts of the movie (although it probably doesn't sound
it), and obviously I'm a fan of the genre and the characters. So I guess I
get a little defensive when they're slightly changed, or when the feel of
their movies changes from a small atmospheric horror movie to a giant
computer generated popcorn roller coaster blockbuster.  In short, Van
Helsing was not as bad as I had expected, but certainly not as good as I had
hoped.
 
 
 
 
 

Quality: 3.5  Visuals: 5.0  Intensity: 6.0 
OVERALL RATING: 4.8