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PBS' BLOOD Good to the Last Drop ! " The sight of it makes many squeamish, or even faint, yet it is the most vital element of our bodily mechanisms; the sticky goop that keep us alive. From the magical to the medical, and from myth to modern science, the recent PBS presentation RED GOLD: THE EPIC STORY OF BLOOD lets flow with a fascinating stream of information and entertainment on the subject that will leave any video vampire drooling on their overflow bib. This is indeed an epic, divided into two parts covering MAGIC TO MEDICINE and BLOOD AND WAR. Part one paints a picture in red starting from the beginnings of recorded history; back when the rivers of life which course through our veins were seen as direct reflections of the outside world, when blood was thought to be one of four "bodily humors" akin to the elements of Nature. Blood was the king of the humors way before there was a king of beers, but hey, when the competitors are phlegm or green and black bile there is really no competition. (Hope you aren't eating right now; especially those barbecue sandwiches The Count had been hawking in The Gallows parking lot !) Draining blood was thought to be a way of flushing the body of the "bad humors" that caused illness, demon-possession, and everything else short of anemia, for too many generations. This line of thinking led to an incredible amount of well-intentioned, purposful "bleedings", usually performed by the local barber. Folks used to go for a bi-weekly bloodletting the way some people visit a hair-stylist or tanning salon today." Well, I find me-self feeling more than healthy this 'morn, but a bleeding always makes one feel wholly alive ! ", could have been a bumper-sticker on an ox-cart in the middle-ages. ( Lightheadedness brings on a state of euphoria, you burlap-sack wearing numbskull ! Duh ! ) Remember Steve Martin as Theodoric of York, Medieval Barber... ? "Nothing a good bleeding won't help..." The traditional barber's pole with it's stripes of crimson and white, lest we forget, originally represented a bloody arm wrapped in a tourniquette as a form of advertising to the illiterate, hemmorraging consumers of the dark ages. The rosy-cheeked masses waiting to be bled, if you will. In a time before the modern anethstesiologist, patients would sometimes grip the pole to vent their pain during a procedure. Hell, even a HAIRCUT could be painful back then ! Founding Father George Washington actually died as a result of numerous bleedings, requested by him, in an attempt to cure a throat constriction--and that was only 200 years ago! One can only imagine the scene as Washington's doctors gathered 'round their failing patient and said, " Look, he's getting weaker ! We'd better tap another pint !" The Epic Story of Blood is obviously a macabre one; spattered with sanguine ritual, clandestine vivisections, and an uproar over Russian experimentations using cadaver blood for transfusions. Dr. Zshivago Meets Dr. Phibes! (Bloody awful joke, I know. My white corpusles are blushing...) Blood from dead bodies, it seems, works just as well as that taken directly from a donor--or "on the hoof " as it is still refered to by blood-suckers everywhere. The stigma (or it stigmata?) attatched to using the vital fluid of a corpse however stopped the practice in it's tracks, and eventually led to the employment of thousands of Bloodmobile technichians today-- and at least one modern bumper sticker, "Get a little prick at work -- donate plasma". The Dracula and Frankenstein mythos' are briefly tied in for the obvious placation of horror fiends like us ( or me anyway ) who happened upon RED GOLD while channel-surfing in search of something genuinely UN-FRIGGIN'-NERVING on the tube. The Drac and Frankie tales are each tied into the thinking of the times inwhich they were written, and shed light on both the stories and the Epic Story of Blood, and don't seem at all out of place in a historical documentary. Truly the most disquieting story of all you'll see here is the one you have probably heard on an old episode of M*A*S*H. The story of Dr. Charles Drew, a founding father blood-typing, who could not donate blood at the hospital bearing his name because he was black. It sets my blood to boiling every time I hear it, because the root of fear is ignorance, and a lot of people have perished needlessly due to both. PBS' BLOOD shed a lot of light on a history we'd just-as-soon avert our eyes from, and opens your eyes if you dare to peek. An infusion of knowledge doesn't have to be painful, or even painfully dull. Tap into BLOOD: RED GOLD when it runs on your local PBS artery. To borrow, abscond with, and/or take "from the hoof", the immortal words of Count Gore DeVol... May all your blood be warm !!! Your ol' pal,
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