|
|
|
"
What Manner--er, MANOR--OF MAYHEM Is This???" Gather 'round the flimsy platform of The Gallows once again all ye fellow Morlocks, tubeheads, and sucklers at the teat of television; your ol' pal the crazyman is back to use a whole bunch of words and say amazingly little !!! (It's a gift, really...) An inconspicuous looking package appeared on my doorstep a little while back. Being properly cautious (I hear Anthrax is sending out copies of their new cd or something...?), I subjected it to it my normal rigorous series of tests and precautionary evaluations. That means I let it sit on the coffin table for a week or two, then shook it vigorously and decided it was safe to take a peek. You know, I've got to remember to just look at the return address on some of this stuff, because it was a batch o' tapes I'd been expecting from still ANOTHER horror host (In the words of Special Ed, Yaaaay !!! ), REMO D, from Monterey ( As in "one of those places I fly over going to-and-from Ohio...), California! Yaaaay!!! Imagine Opie Cunningham all grown up, wearing a jogging-suit, a beret, and sporting a hook where his right hand should be--and you'd probably think I was talking about the agent "your's ghouliee" had back when he was prostituting himself on the comedy stage in the 80's. Nope, this time life's big ol' box o' surpises didn't include a trip to the You Kill 'Em We'll Grill 'Em Comedy Cafe in Pidgeon Neck, Arkansas--it was a care package from REMO D'S MANOR OF MAYHEM coming to fill the ballast I call a brain with horror archania, and then help me laugh myself silly again ! YAAAYYY ! Ok, I'll stop that now... Remo D is definitely one of our "horror historian" host bretheren, giving detailed background on the films he presents, but always mixing in with a hearty dolop of humor lest the facts themselves be too dry for your palate. Or in the Monterey madman's own words... "Our show combines the two varieties of 'horror host' shows--the pure trivia/information variety popularized by Bob Wilkins and John Stanley, as well as the 'anything goes' comic craziness supplied by the fiends I grew up with (most specifically Svengoolie, formerly the "Son")." ...and he does indeed combine the best of both worlds to wonderful effect. His cast is replete with comedic foils ( aka: Sidekicks) and eye-candy for the masses. During Remo's discertation on The Flesh-Eaters, Manor handyman Old Pete stands impatinetly by looking at his watch when our host suddenly stops in mid-conversation to address the audience at length. Very well-played comedy, and full of fun fact you can whip out at the next convention. (I never knew how many of the castmembers went on to do daytime soaps!) His head is just chocked full of facts, and for good reason; Remo D's alter-ego, Shane M. Dallmann, is a writer/reviewer for various genre publications such as Video Watchdog, and has also wordsmithed for Fangoria, Deep Red, Blood Times, Psychotronic Video, Video Junkie and the on-line mag Images Journal. It's amazing--he's been writing long enough to build up those impressive credentials, yet he's not only unembittered, but still has a sense of humor. Well, give him a few years as a horror host and that'll change! In association with the Barbary Coast Theatre, Dallmann and his co-conspiritors Gregg Galdo and Dave Deacon, have already produced an amazing 26 shows--which have been cosmicly divided into thirteen-episode seasons -- plus the mandatory Halloween episode. The titles they've hosted ( In the purest sense, these guys don't do inserts, or in any way bastardize the films they present... ) include The Diabolical Dr. Z., and The Mummy's Revenge, which is not only everything you ever wanted to know about Paul Naschy but were afraid to ask, but includes the most hysterical incantation to raise the dead since Bruce Campbell massacred "Klaatu, Barretta, Necktie..?" in Army of Darkness. Not to mention John Steinbeck's appearance at The Manor ! Now THAT'S what we call yer highbrow entertainment here in the vast outback of the Sierra Umphweephwee region of Southwestern Ohio ! If you aren't lucky enough to live in Monterey, California, you can look for Remo D's Manor of Mayhem to be popping up soon on the Horror Host Underground Network affiliate near YOU!!! What's that? You don't live in Monterey OR sponsor the HHU in your area??? What have you been DOING with your life ?!? "Facts of Life" reruns kill, my friends... As always, please don't leave your beer cans littering the general area of The Gallows -- Gore makes me clean 'em up. Your ol' pal,
|
