"Shock, Terror, and Outright Laughter"
(originally published on www.countgore.com)

Step right up folks ! Have I got a sampling of pure, unadulterated, 100% gen-u-wine horror host snake-oil to pitch to you this week ! This is a product SO potent, SO powerful, and SO completely putrirific that you will be complelled to watch it not once, not twice, but at least every-so-often for the rest of your born days ! I speak of course of DR. SHOCK'S TALES OF   TERROR!!! That's right friends, Dr. Shock's Tales of Terror, hosted by none-other than that wacky, hyperkinetic snakeoil-salesman in a labcoat, jet-black fright wig, and authentic X-ray specs himself --  the legendary horror host Dr. Shock !!!

( I just may very well have exceeded my quota of exclaimation points for the month in that first paragraph !)

I had the complete pleasure of meeting the Doc and his crew for the first time at Cinema Wasteland 2002 this past October. We traded tapes, and after viewing Tales of Terror, I'm relatively positive that I walked away on the better end of the barter. This trilogy of tongue-in-cheek, drive-in-era shorts definitely won't be collecting any dust on the Ghastlee tape heap.

Doctor Shock, aka Douglas Agosti, is a pure practitioner of the Ghoulardi ( Ernie Anderson ) method of hosting. His manic character spiels his way through witty, warped and well-crafted bookends to his own AFTERSHOCK PRODUCTIONS efforts with the skill and enthusiasm of both an old pro and a lifelong fan of the genre. Agosti and fellow Aftershock writer, producer, director Lance Otto Smith have not only whipped up a batch o' fun flashback films here, but surrounded them with ultra-surreal intros, outros and segueways which demonstrate how timeless the genre really is. This is a tape that cries out to be shown to anyone age 10 to 10,000 who has never seen a true horror host in all his creative glory-bally-hoo.

 First up on the triple-bill was THE TOWN THAT LOVED PIZZA. What a blast this was-- though it may have me eating veggie-'za for a while ! The secret "fixin's" for this town's pies -- a' la The Corpse Grinders or Motel Hell -- isn't kept a secret from the audience for long, as we are quickly let in on the juicy details from slaughter to slice. Thus proving, once again, that from Domino's to Dario Argento, it's all in the delivery.

A cool aside-order here too; look for Defiance, Ohio host Dr. Mor B.S. appearing incognito as Jebadiah, one of the unwholesome proprietors of Mamma Mia's Meat Pizza !

The pert-near Monty Python-esque THE GARDEN TOOL MURDERS, was next up. Backyard gore and weed whackin' chicanary paint a landscape that is inescapably funny as the Aftershock crew allows no grass to grow under their feet with feature number two -- and that's not a fertilizer reference. Wonderfully cultivated characterisations by a cast of folks who were obviously having more than enough fun to get the job done mark the territory of this one, all ye grassheads. Casting note number two : Look for Dr. Shock sans Ghoul-gear as the Strother Martin-ish heavy "Mr. Weedfield" !

The third installment in the Tales of Terror Triad, DEMON'S DAY, concerning the cloning of The Prince of Darkness ( I thought they had already cloned Michael Jackson back in the '80s ??? ), could almost pass for one of those films that they would show at the youth assembly meeting at your local Solid Rock & Roll Church. Oh yeah, but it doesn't take itself THAT seriously -- thank gawd ! Strap yourself in for a ride that will take you from pimpland to purgatory on this one, as Satan and Son go head to head and horn to horn in a no-holds-barred grudge match ! Not for the faint of humor !!!

Great outakes are included at the end of each film too, for your breaking-the-fourth-wall pleasure -- and Dr. Shock's "X-Ray Chiller Theater" intercuts are at least worth spending a couple of hours, or a couple of hours a week, of one's worthless Morlock life checking out. For moron Dr. Shock, Aftershock Productions, and Tales of Terror, check out:   http://ghoulardi.tripod.com/after.html

 'Til the trapdoor drops and we shake that final shimmy, stay loose and enjoy the SHOCK. Dr. Shock, that is !

 Your ol' pal,
Ghastlee