"FRIGHTVISION 2003"

Dateline: Cleveland, Ohio, March 28th, 2003

It was a warm, and sunny, day. After months of Chicago Winter, it was a welcome change. Another year, another FrightVision. It was good to be The BONE JANGLER, and in Ohio, my second home, on this mortal coil of your's. Soon, we'd be seeing our old friends Bob Ferguson (Son Of Ghoul cameraman ),  the Son Of Ghoul, and J & L Printing's Ron Garsteck, amongst others. 

Ron makes all of the Ghoulardi merchandise, and he also made The BONE JANGLER t-shirt, and it's of his usual quality standards. Buy several of them, if not many! For a limited time only, we're slashing the price by 85%, and, at only $15, they're a steal. Someone call the cops, and tell 'em to bring me some weed! Anyway, as Nocturna & I made our way towards our table, there were celebrities in front of us, being asked to show proof of  paid admission: a wristband featuring an image of the Ghoul (more about him, later)! 

Someone with a clue straightened things out, while we sensed that we were probably in for the same mistreatment. It was now our turn to be greeted by FrightVision security. While one of them said, "I'm not EVEN gonna ask you guys for id", a woman smiled, and bowed, while waving her hands before us, as if to worship us. A pleasant surprise, to be sure. This would become the trend of the show, people bowing before us, and smiling their asses off. Yes, a weekend full of making people smile. Contrary to what some may believe, we have F-U-N, and we like to share. Doesn't mean we're not evil, though.

Friday night, and while the crowd was a wee bit sparse, things were rockin'! Ohio fans were lining up, and presenting us with gifts of videos, liquor, and other sundries. Video sales were brisk, as were Bob Ferguson's handicrafts. The man is a dear friend, and creative as all get out. We were among friends, old and new. Met folks from Kansas City, Detroit, Indianapolis, and all over. 

Told them all about the Horror Host Underground, and, I must say, they all seemed mighty excited. Out of the blue, we were informed that there was to be a "Horror Host Q & A". We conferred with Son Of Ghoul (the King of Northeastern Ohio TV, and a great friend), as well as the newly-arrived, not-in-"costume" Dr. Mor BS (a funny, funny dude), and this "Q & A" was news to all of us. As Cinema Wasteland's Ken Kish would tell you, organization isn't one of the strong points of FrightVision. 

Eventually, after many conflicting reports,  the whole thing was scrapped. That was fine with me, as we had a steady stream of well-wishers and customers. Not only that, but it would've interfered with my drinking! Dr. Freak was relieved, as he didn't have his make-up on. After it was over for the night, Cleveland Horror Host fan Don Figush chauffeured us about Cleveland, and we had a fun time away from the chaos (much of which Nocturna & I started) ensuing back at the hotel. By the way, the hotel was great, complete with sheets, and everything. Of course, they'd all soon be soiled.
       

Day Two: Nocturna & I were fashionably late, Nocturna even more fashionable than I. Again, everyone was smiling ear-to-ear. The t-shirts were moving quite nicely, as were the videos. While some of the aisles were a bit cramped, ours being one of them, everyone appeared to be enjoying themselves. 

Not as much as Nocturna & I, but then again, we're accustomed to being mobbed. FrightVision attendees were priveledged to be graced by the presence of the legendary Baron VonWolfstein. Love was all around, just like at the beginning of  "The Mary Tyler Moore Show". Yes, while it had grown suddenly colder outside, Saturday was about nothing but warmth. Between Nocturna, and Countess Lilith Stabbs, many folks were getting all hot and bothered!                              

Eventually, we manged to stroll the promenade, and take in the rest of the sights. It was great seeing Ben "the Creature of the Black Lagoon" Chapman again. For some strange reason, Ben likes to refer to me as his "doctor". Anyway, Nocturna helped him keep it green, and we moved on. Caroline Munroe, the Hammer Horror hottie, was a class act, all the way. And, I'd like to go all the way with her, sometime. 

She was very kind to Nocturna & I, and actually seemed to be more in awe of us than we were of her! Of course, Yvonne Craig and Julie Newmar were nothing short of purrrrrfect, as was the lovely Erin Gray. In one of the lamest come-ons ever, someone asked if Nocturna was a body double for Traci Lords. As if! Don't get me wrong, I'm a Traci Lords fan from waaay back, back when she really used her talents. But, c'mon! Nocturna is classier, and sexier, and it was abundantly obvious, all weekend long. You should've been there!

Back at the Son Of Ghoul's table, we were treated to the arrival of much of the remainder of the Ghoul's crew. Yes, I believe there's a few of them hanging in there, like our good buddy Bob "The Geek" Paulin, and longtime 10 Star Ghoul Power General Jeff "The Sickie". SOG's  crew shot lots of footage of Son Of Ghoul and the Ghoul crew (past & present) cavorting, and having the time of their lives. Surreal as it was, and I LOVE surreal, it's a site we've become used to seeing. 

The only thing stranger will be in October, at Cinema Wasteland, where, so we're told, the Ghoul and the Son Of Ghoul will appear alongside the rest of us!! Nocturna & I spent the better chunk of the evening partying with the Son Of Ghoul & his crew, a fine bunch of people, and it was like a family reunion. While Bob Ferguson, and the rest of us, tore it up, all was not well in the parking lot. Dr. Freak's ride was ripped off!! Not cool.

Day Three: After partying all night, and getting absolutely zero sleep, Nocturna & I made our way to our table, informing all that we'd be leaving early. Naturally, we ended up being amongst the last to leave. Sold some more shirts, and tapes. A. Ghastlee Ghoul & Jeff McClellan  dropped in for a much-welcomed, if at times bizzare, visit. I blame our time spent together drinking, along with Horrorfind Mike, for our late departure. 

Later, Ghastlee & Jeff would vanish into the ether, without nary a squirrel twist, or even a goodbye. Sometime after I'd noticed them missing, Tanya Roberts asked how to get into the Coven! Soon, it was time to leave our friends, old and new alike, behind. We were seen off by Bob Ferguson, and Son Of Ghoul uber-fan Jim "The Colonel" Klink. FrightVision was over, and we already missed it. Yes, it was hardly the "stink bomb" it was referred to as by one who wouldn't really know. In fact, it was a beautiful, if somewhat unorganized, thing. 

Thank you to all who stopped by to visit us. We love you. 

Now, I must join Nocturna, and aid her in the burning of babies.