The Turks Get Drunk
by Chaos Engine
(yeah...amazing I know)
Reno, Rude and Elena are slumped at a table in the Turtle's Paradise.
They are drunk.
Elena: (slurring) Where are we again?
Reno: The......Turtle's......something.......
Rude: ........
Elena: How many bars is that now?
Reno: I think we went to the 7th Lemon in Midgar....
Elena: Where?
Reno: You know.....the bar......in sector 7.....er......Tifa?
Elena: You mean the 7th heaven
Reno: Oh yeah! Well.....there, that one in Junon........
Elena: That was a very nice bar........
Reno: Then we went to Costa Del Sol....
Elena: Yeah we went, we drank, we went swimming......
Rude: (Suddenly remebers something. Winces at memory).........
Reno: Huh? Rude? You say somethin'?...........
Rude: (Tries to pour shot of vodka. Fails).........
Elena: Then we went through the mountains.......I liked the mountains........
Reno: You shot everything we saw!
Elena: Well it's part of the Turk's job!
Reno: No it's not! We have to get paid.......by thingy.........
Elena: Y'know....him......guy with the shotgun......
Elena: What that farmer whose barn we crashed in?
Reno: No!
Elena: Well who else would have a shotgun?
Reno: ...........good point.....we gotta be paid by that farmer before we shoot anything.......
Elena: But we only met him last week!
Reno: And?
Elena: We've been shooting stuff for ages...
Reno: So?
Elena: He can't have been paying us all this time........
Reno: yeah.....
Elena: So no one's been paying us to shoot things.......
Reno: ....could be......
Elena: So I could shoot anything I want......
Reno: ....yeah.....
Elena: I could shoot Rude right now.........(takes out gun)
Reno: ....yeah.........I mean NO!!!!!
Elena has her gun pressed against Rude's head. Rude is sobering up at an incredible rate.
Rude: (sweating)............
Reno: Elena.......don't shoot Rude
Elena: ..........why not? I can shoot anything I like!
Reno: Yes, but you can't shoot Rude!
Elena: Why?
Reno: Because he's a Turk and can shoot or beat anything up.....
Rude: (Nods vigorously)..........
Elena: Suppose that’s true.......(holsters gun)
Rude: (Expression hidden by sunglasses).........
Rude grabs the bottle of vodka and the bottle of Jack Daniels and pours himself a double of each. he downs them.
Rude: (alcohol rapidly affecting him).................
Reno: (also drinking a double to recover).............right...........what were we on about?
Elena: ............dunno...........er...........something about a shotgun........
Reno: No....before that.........
Elena: Ah...........I dunno......I like this drink though.......
Elena picks up one of the oddly coloured Turtle's Paradise cocktails and squints at it intently
The End!!!!!!
Coming soon (maybe): The Turks Get drunk part 2: Cosmo Canyon!
Author notes: Ok this story is kind of short but pointless.....but I wrote it in a really boring lecture. I wanted to do a story with he Turks and this was the first idea I came up with........I might write a sequel, but I'm going to wrtie another Turks story anyway.....and something else with the usual cast present (Avalanche basically)
Copyright: Square have complete control over these characters and these locations. The events are mine, and I'm not intentionally infringing copyright so don't sue (I have no money so it'd be kind of pointless.....plus I buy Square's stuff.......do they really want to get rid of a potential future customer?).
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