PARTNERSHIPS in the '90s
"Doesn't anyone stay together anymore ..... what is 'forever' for?"
At the cusp of a new age, which comes along every 2,000 years or so (1967 being the accepted beginning of the Age of Aquarius), there is generally great confusion in the minds of Mankind, and this causes rights, customs and values to be reconsidered, challenged and even actively opposed. When this ending coincides with the ending of a Great Cycle (every 52,000 years or thereabouts - and next due about the year 2012), which ushers in a 2,000 year Age of Light or 'enlightenment', the confusion becomes even greater. No wonder it is referred to as the Age of Chaos. One has to tread most carefully, seek guidance and choose one's friends and partners with care.
This does not mean to say that universal or cosmic laws change at this particular point, for they are unchanging. Nor does it mean that there can be one law for one person, and another set of laws for another, as some so-called 'new age' philosophies proclaim. Truth is truth is truth: it changes neither for Man nor for the times.
The intensity of life at the end of a Great Cycle is just too overwhelming for many. So much so that many decide to end it by illness or even suicide, in order to try again at a later point or opportunity. This is a particularly unfortunate decision at the present time - one might say even disastrous - for the ending of a Great Cycle represents the last opportunity to raise one's vibrations to the next level of consciousness ..... right now, from this third dimensional plane of existence to the fourth dimension. It is a time of testing, requiring much perseverance, tenacity and not losing sight of one's purpose or goal.
When this current 'new age' is firmly esconced upon the planet (some time after the year 2012) there will be only fourth dimensional beings on board. This means that those who 'fail the exam' will have to continue their third dimensional experience elsewhere as this planet will no longer be an appropriate 'destination.' Now is the time to get off the roundabout: so obtaining that understanding must be given top priority. How many will listen? Change of any kind can be stressful, and tends usually to be avoided.
Preparation for this change can mean great upheavals in society and in family life, causing much grief, disappointment - even disenchantment - in other words ... STRESS. How to cope with stress is one of today's hottest topics. And the family is the most important unit in society. One must be ready physically, mentally and spiritually for this change. Are you ready? Hopefully these notes will help in some way to clarify the situation and bring a better understanding to many.
So often there is just ONE member of the family unit who recognises the need for change and realises the situation in which one finds oneself upon this planet. What to do? One's first reaction is to try and explain to others what one knows and understands in order to help them, but it seems that these words too often fall upon deaf ears, and one is faced with either succumbing to the situation or taking the socially unacceptable step of separating from one's loved one(s) in order to continue in preparation and to evolve spiritually. For many this is not even an economically viable step, therefore they remain in a stressful relationship. This is the real intent of the phrase "being unequally yoked to an unbeliever." It is sometimes very difficult to accept that YOU are the most important person in your life: no-one else can run it for you, and no-one should act as a stumbling block to your progress. But in all things act responsibly. It can be one tough decision. Unequal partnerships are headed for failure in the late '90s.
One of the principal considerations in any partnership, whether business or personal, should be harmony or compatability. Without this essential ingredient any partnership is doomed to failure.
This is not a simple calculation, as there are many aspects which have to be taken into account: the trouble is finding a reference guide to what constitutes basic harmony. None of the various philosophies reveal the whole picture, but cosmic mathematics constitutes a helpful start. Some believe that they have to enter into a partnership with someone because they were partners in a previous lifetime: this is not necessarily so. You might find yourself making the same mistake twice ..... The state of marriage is not to be entered into lightly, and "falling in love" does not necessarily guarantee a harmonious union! Note that a person in the 'Light' is seemingly even more beautiful than the physical form, and a rather 'homely' person can become radiantly beautiful in the eyes of the beholder.
The law of magnetism varies depending upon the level of consciousness upon which it is working. Without consciousness, as in the use of magnets, which are inanimate objects, likes repel, while unlikes attract. On a conscious level however, like attracts like, and opposites also attract. Unlikes often come together and become like each other in time. Note how often a dog or cat and his/her master take on similarities: this is not just the imagination! One of the other, lesser-known indicators of harmony or disharmony is the comparison of physical features - for instance, two 'blondes' or 'blue-eyed' individuals tend not get on well together in the long run.
It is said that 'marrying for love' is a fairly recent social development. Going back to the time of 'arranged marriages' (which still exists in many parts of the world today) one must assume that at one time the older generation had knowledge that was not passed on - or that this knowledge was held by 'counsellors' or the 'priestly class' who were consulted by parents when the time came for their offspring to marry. Today that arrangement is continued mainly for religious, social or 'caste' reasons.
Should one therefore settle for a marriage between two people who are in harmony rather then in love? In the case of a business relationship, or even friendship, this is undoubtedly the route to take - but in marriage, should there not also be that magic which holds two people bonded together? Of course, there is a lot more to it than just that. Just try and avoid the potholes in the road ..... living close together calls for harmony!
When both individuals are aware of their differences and the cause of such inherent differences, there should be no reason why love should not be the over-riding factor. But at the same time it should be borne in mind by those contemplating marriage that differences in understanding can arise between two people who are not 'on the same wavelength' - with both sincerely believing that the other is wrong, and frustration or anger could develop over time which would ultimately destroy that marriage. This is why we so often hear of one or both marriage partners 'suffering in silence' because they were taught that marriage was inviolable and 'for ever' .... ending a marriage was a socially unacceptable step.
What is Love? Love is kindness and compassion, being there when needed. Play - and music - is the food of Love. Marriage based on physical attraction alone may be doomed to failure: physical Love just isn't enough. Neither is the popularised unconditional Love the answer: absolute and total Love should and must be offered - an important difference - and its continuance is essential to success. One must love and cherish each other. When the fire has been lit, emotions are at a peak: when the flame dies down, reality sets in - is there really harmony there? If not, the marriage is already on the rocks. With harmony, Love continues to grow, but nothing grows without time and effort, so one has to work at marriage and learn from mistakes. Your spouse should be your best friend, confidant and lover. There's nothing like being in love!
What are the ingredients of a good marriage?
Where there were previously TWO people to be taken into account, there is now also the UNION of these two people - and all THREE must be looked after and nourished. Companionship; physical and mental intimacy; learning to give (often more than one receives - never keep an account of how much you have contributed to the marriage partnership); adjusting social activities in order to socialize also with each other; discussing how to handle each other's friends and relatives! (to keep them from interfering); ensuring that one's spouse still receives adequate attention when children arrive on the scene; being as loving and courteous to each other during marriage as you were during courtship; ensuring that all or any criticism is given constructively; developing close interpersonal communication - good listening skills; never taking the other person for granted; encouraging each other physically, mentally and spiritually ..... these and many other aspects of living together must be given constant attention in order to make 'the ties that bind' a lasting success, for we expect marriage to last forever [despite the statistics, do not plan on divorce as inevitable, nor accept the 'New-Age' concept of an intimate relationship sometimes only being valid for a limited time to complete a 'required' experience].
Reinforce your love for one another often with these three little words - "I love you!" Know also that there are times when a person has to be alone, to have one's own private space - even a spouse needs privacy at times.
Caution must also be advised in matters of the heart as there is danger to growth in this experience coming to a halt by becoming addicted to another person in a romantic relationship to the extent that one loses contact with universal energy - which is essential to growth. When love first happens, each gives the other energy subconsciously: both feel buoyant and elated - the incredible high which we call "being in love"; unfortunately, once a couple expect this feeling to come solely from the other partner it cuts them off from the energy of the universe, and they consequently require even more energy from each other - only now there doesn't appear to be enough energy to go around. At this point the relationship degenerates into an energy power struggle. To avoid this one should initially concentrate upon platonic friendships with the opposite sex, and avoid 'love at first sight' situations until one develops more self-confidence, so that one can truly enjoy the euphoria or well-being which is felt in the first moment of a relationship.
Marriage starts when a man and a woman exchange vows of allegiance to each other - the paper which legally provides 'proof' of marriage is man-made, whereas marriages are in reality 'made in heaven', or under cosmic law (or whatever way you might describe these laws, which are sacrosanct). Until such a marriage is ended in the same way it was entered into, breaking of the vow is an error for which one remains accountable. Bonding (physical intimacy), which is the physical union and confirmation of marriage (consummation), should not be entered into lightly: this is a lifetime bond, unless there is good reason to end the arrangement, such as one party having been guilty of breaking the agreement, or the realisation that it should never have been entered into in the first place.
The need for purity in marriage is rarely explained or taught correctly, the emphasis generally being on 'religious' grounds. It should however be understood by all what effect casual, physical, intimate relationships outside marriage have on the children born in or out of a marriage. Remember that one is responsibility for what one creates.
Each child inherits DNA from its father and mother, and from their parents in turn back to the seventh generation. Does this sound biblical? (The sins of the fathers shall be visited upon their children until the seventh generation .....)
We inherit our character, idiosyncrasies and health patterns from the DNA passed down to us. DNA is passed on to our partner everytime a physical bond is made, as DNA is held in the body fluids: a sexually promiscuous person (male OR female) has therefore collected DNA from each past partner (and their parental history back seven generations), so when a child is subsequently born ..... that child inherits ALL these patterns. Now you know why there are so many "mixed-up kids" these days!
If you did not know why virginity was so important, you do know now. Of course, there are other good reasons. More than ever before there is the possibility of sexual diseases being passed on (the AIDS virus for instance is known to be smaller than the pores of a condom, which therefore offers NO protection), but the overriding factor must still be moral, or consideration of the fulfilment that the bonding of ONE person with another provides to both partners in the marriage, and which is lost by repeated casual experiences. Lack of control over our emotions can have consequences far exceeding our expectations of a fleeting moment in time, and the reappearance of a previous lover can strain even the strongest of marriages.
Given the short period which one now has to prepare fully for the difficult times which lie ahead, a young person may not have enough time to gather by experience (or even by seeking out and reading) all that is necessary for adequate understanding, nor to 'unlearn' that which has been falsely taught since childhood. One solution might be to enter into a relationship with someone older, who already has that understanding, and is willing to share that knowledge. That is why there are, and will continue to be, marriages between a younger woman and an older man, and vice-versa. It can enable the less experienced to learn more quickly and to be better prepared for the eventful days of the latter 'nineties and for that final step out of this third dimension or acceptance of a new world in the 21st century.
When one has gathered enough knowledge and gained understanding to successfully complete this present incarnation, this knowledge should be offered to others judicially (not "casting pearls before swine") - and this may include devoting one's time to helping principally one other person develop through the constant devotion which a personal relationship or marriage can offer.
Happiness is the fulfilment of expectations. Doing things together - the family that plays together, stays together; companionship; enjoying the energy of the other's aura or presence; as well as touch, hugs and kisses ..... all contribute greatly to happiness. Complete trust is the ability to depend upon every word and action by one's partner, which contributes to satisfaction and consequently to happiness.
The pain of separation and divorce is best avoided ..... try and get it right the first time. Living together first - to see if one is compatible - is one of the greatest mistakes made in relationships today. The other is planning to 'change' the other person's bad habits: it just doesn't work out that way!
Finally, understand that there is no such thing as equality in marriage - man and woman are complementary not equal, (this is the perfect example of the whole being greater than the sum of the two parts) and only when two become one is there completion or perfection of union, and in order for marriage to be a lasting success ..... harmony and understanding must reign.
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Rev: January, 1997.
To contact the author: write MILSON