DIETING UNDER STRESS

BREAKFAST                                                                 LUNCH

1 Grapefruit                                           4 oz. Lean Broiled Chicken breast
1 slice Whole Wheat Toast, dry                     1 cup steamed spinach
3 oz. Skim milk                                     1 cup Herb Tea
                                                       1 Oreo cookie

     MIDAFTERNOON SNACK                                                DINNER

Rest of Oreos in package                      2 loaves Garlic Bread with Cheese
2 pints Rocky Road Ice Cream               Large Sausage, Mushroom, & Cheese Pizza1 jar Hot Fudge Sauce                   4 cans or 1 large pitcher of beer
Nuts, cherries, whipped creme                3 Milky Way or Snickers Candy Bars

LATE EVENING NEWS

Entire Frozen Cheesecake eaten directly from freezer

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RULES FOR THIS DIET

1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.

3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.

4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast, and Sara Lee Cheesecake.

5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entire entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel, such as Milk Duds, Buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, and Tootsie Rolls.

7. Cookie peices contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples: peanut butter on a knife when making a sandwich or ice cream on a spoon when making a sundae.

9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples: spinach and pistachio ice cream, mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any food color.

REMEMBER: STRESSED SPELLED BACKWARDS
IS DESSERTS