Weight Watchers
 
During a recent move, my brother and I were lugging a old cast iron
stand-up penny scale out of his apartment (the kind that used to be
found in front of dime stores). The neighbors, of course, found it
irresistable to watch this wonderful parade of his belongings. We
overheard a child ask his father what it was that we were moving and
his father said "A scale." Under his breath, my brother sarcastically
said "He should have told him it was a sexual aid."

To which I replied "It is... It tells you exactly how far you are
from getting any."