OFFICE DONT'S: THINGS OTHER PEOPLE WILL DO -- -- -- WE'LL PRESENT THEM FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT!!
I present this because humans are such weird and funny creatures. I also have the theory that people behave strangely in doctor's offices because its such an un-natural setting. But still......
The Day The Earth Stood Still: A lady from out of town asked if her husband could use our washroom: we said yes. She went out to the car and brought in her husband, who was caked in "poop" from the waist down.
The Night the Earth Stood Still: A young woman called on my pager at 3:30 AM on a Saturday night. After asking for some narcotics, she paused and slurred, " Hey Doc, ya Wanna party?"
The Day the Waiting Room Stood Still: A motorcycle gang member in full leathers and chains and wearing a 45 cal. revolver rode up on his Harley in mid-morning and had a heart attack in our waiting room.
The Day the Staff Stood Still: A drunk lady walked in and punched out a nurse over her elevated cholesterol level.
What Drives Us Crazy:
People who belittle, or yell, or argue.
People who crab.
People who tie up the phones.
People who tie up the staff.
People who try to get visits on the phone.
People who have forms or ten Rxs that the Doc has to sign, and plan to stop everything and have them signed immediately so they can avoid coming back to pick them up.
People who crab about lateness on the doctor's part, and then take up half the day themselves.
People who bring us lab or Medicare paperwork for an explanation or problem (without trying to solve things with them first.)
People who complain to us about their choice of insurance. Don't bring to us what we can't solve.
Now this is serious:
ANY ACCUSATION OF ABUSE FROM A STAFF MEMBER
IS CAUSE FOR WRITTEN DISMISSAL OF THE PATIENT
WHAT I REALLY WANTED TO SAY: Now what I neglected to say is that people also give us the reason to go on in medicine: it is not a thankless effort. But it is a supremely large undertaking, and it can be demoralizing to the entire staff when we have "one bad apple" who verbally abuses our staff. Some people think it gets them somewhere. It may create a "win" in a given situation, but it removes that person from dealing with others as a trusted member of a team. (We invite the incorrigibles to join their counterparts in the HMOs...)
But we really know some lovely people, and we cherish them, love them, and sometimes cry with them. We worry about them, and we think about them when we're at home or out of town. I don't say this to congratulate ourselves: I say it to congratulate our patients. They have touched our souls with goodness and kindness and love, and make us come back to our little office for another day.