October - 1998
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Today was a very slow, fall day. I loved it. Mom was a happy camper when she got up at noon and actually stayed that way all night. She is doing very well getting around with the walker and a guiding arm on hers. Hopefully it won't be too much longer before she will be on her own again. Her memory has plateaued for now, December marks the four month period, so.
October 2nd
October 3rd
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October 6th
October 7th
October 8th
October 9th
October 10th
October 11th
October 12th
October 13th
October 14th
October 16th
October 23rd
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October 25th
October 27th
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October 29th
October 30th
October 31st
We only got two kids tonight, boy do I have alot of candy to eat. Mom had a good time watching spooky movies tonight, she loves then. I remember her reading spooky books before going to bed when I was a kid, guess that is where I get it from. Mom got a new chair today, a lift chair that she actually asked for. I went to make my payment earlier and she asked me to see if the store had them or could order them so I did. They had a very nice one in stock so I had them add it to my account. She really likes it and so do I, no more lifting her out of the chair for me. She does need help operating the control but she will get the hang of it, I hope.
Mom stayed in bed all day today, she didn't get up until 7:30 pm then went back to bed at 11:30. She wasn't feeling well, I think she has caught a bug from my brother and I. We have both been feeling icky the past few days. Hopefully it won't get any worse with her than it has been for us. She did get up by herself last night and used the commode, becoming a little independant again.
I couldn't convince mom to shower today so I will try again tomorrow. She is feeling better today, thank God. She decided the she "Would just be lazy today" and stay in bed for lunch, ok by me. She did get up shortly after she ate and stayed up until after the news. She was worried when she heard of the tornados warnings around us and for our county. They are almost unheard of around here so she got scared until she found the warnings had been removed this evening. She was telling where to hide and where to put her and the dogs, it was cute in a way. I got more of the room done today, two new windows, all the corner and end beads are in now for the taping and mudding. HURRAY. That means I can soon paint.
Well, no shower again today. Mom just refuses to take one until she gets ready too! She is sure on an emotional rollercoaster right now. One minute she is fine the next she is just very mean. I have asked her if she is in pain and she claims not to be, if fact she yells that nothing is wrong with her except me, so. Last night she began roaming around again, without her walker. I was able to get her back into bed without trouble and she stayed there. She has developed this habit of panting and swallowing air all the time and belching very loudly all the while saying she is going to vomit. She goes to both doctors on the 9th, hopefully one of them can help me get this stopped.
I went down to get my house refinanced today, my d-i-l stayed with mom for me. It felt great getting out for a few hours. I sure hope the refinance goes through, we can sure the money. Mom never did get up today, she wasn't feeling good again and wanted to stay in bed, she slept most of the time.
Mom stayed in bed all day yesterday, all night and didn't get up until 3:30 this afternoon. She was just 'pooped' she says. At least she ate lunch and dinner today, good helpings too. Her legs are a bit stiff from not being up yesterday but she is trying to work them out. I woke up with a terrible pain in my shoulder (the one I had two surgeries on in '95), it is still with me. I have been on the heating pad all day but nothing helps it. My hand and arm are so numb and weak. Hopefully it will be gone come morning because I have painting to start!
Well, I didn't get any painting done today, I can't move my arm well enough for that and my neck is stiff too. Oh well, so much getting it all done any time soon. Mom stayed in bed again today, she didn't get up until 8:00 tonight then kept falling asleep in the recliner. Her memory isn't getting any better either. I think I have been deluding myself and bought into what I wanted to hear and believe from the doctor that said she doesn't have AD. She doesn't know where she is most of the time, forgets who me and my brother are. Last night she was wandering her room looking for HER bed because someone had put her in the wrong one. She always wants to know how long we will be here, when we are heading home etc.. Maybe it is all left over crap from the surgery but I doubt it. She is able to walk pretty well with the walker though, thank God for that now if only I could get her to walk more often so she can get more strength back.
Today was a good for me. I was able to texture and prime one of my walls without too much pain, it actually worked out the kinks a little. Mom got up this afternoon, had dinner and took a shower. She walked to the bathroom without her walker, got into the tub without trouble then came back out to the living room and watched t.v. for the rest of the night. I just put her to bed with a blanket fresh out of the dryer and she is in heaven. Tomorrow will be a busy day for us, two doctor appointments back to back then the hearing aide guy will be over in the afternoon to refit mom. WOW. I sure hope it isn't raining as bad as it was today, I hate taking mom out in weather like this.
I cancelled mom's appointments for today, it was raining far too hard and was too cold for her to go out. I will reschedule them next week. She did pretty good today, walking aroung without the walker because the 'damn thing gets in her way.' She ate a good dinner also, even desert. Her memory is still pretty much off the wall, seems the previous improvments are gone. Oh Well, such is life.
We had fun tonight. Mom got up at 3:00, stayed up until 2:00 this morning watching movies with me, Robert and Crystal. One was a scarrey one that made all of us jump at the same time, Robert yelled " Oh s--t!" and mom says "I think I did," and starts laughing her butt off. We really had a good time, eating popcorn, stealing blankets from each other. I had my grand-daughters also, they were wonderful. When it came time to watch the spooky movie they went in granny's room to watch t.v. and fell asleep on her bed. My brother got a place today and moved into it so he isn't going to be around much now, which is o.k. I'm pooped, mom is sleeping and the couch is calling me.
Mom got herself up and dressed without help nor walker this afternoon. When I began fixing dinner she walked herself to the dining room chair and asked if she could sit there so we could talk while I got dinner. We even ate at the table for a change and she helped set the plates. We watched t.v. for the evening. It was very pleasant tonight. She went to bed without a fuss and is sleeping already. Time for me to do the same.
Today was a very stressful day, brought on by external forces which I am not at liberty to speak about, due to their confidentiality. Mom and I were both very upset most of the day and both had a hard time sleeping.
Today was better than yesterday, although we were both pretty tired. Mom had her ortho appointment this afternoon and everything with her new hip is great, she has no restrictions now. The doctor actually praised me for bringing mom through yet another hip surgery with remarkable therapy and speed in recovery. I was shocked but pleased as punch to get recognition for it. Afterwards we went to lunch, back home, did dinner, watched some t.v. Mom went to bed at 9:00, saying she was exhausted from the days events but throughly happy.
I was suspended from service Tuesday night because I hadn't paid for my service yet. Oh well, I didn't get any money until today so here I am. Mom has been doing great, she is getting herself up and about with little to no help. She doesn't use her walker much anymore and is doing good without it. Her appetite is much better and she doesn't complain about thinking she is going throw up anymore nor does she belch as much. Tonight she said she felt better than she had in weeks.
I had a wonderful day today. My oldest son David, his wife Melody and my grand-daughters came up and watched mom for me! My friend Hollie, Melody's mom and dad and I went to The Lucky Eagle Casino for an all you can eat seafood buffett and we gambled some too. We left here at 3:15 this afternoon and didn't get back until 10:00. The food was great but the gambling reminded me that I am not the luckiest person around, SMILE, but it was great fun anyway. It is the first time I have left the area for any reason without mom and the first time I have been gone so long. I am proud of myself though, although I was tempted to call home and check on things several times during the night I didn't. I felt like I was leaving my infant for the first time but I was determined to have fun and not worry, I knew mom was in good hands and that it was really o.k. for me to be gone. She was in a great mood when I came home, gave me a big hug and kiss and you could tell, really tell that she was happy to see me and glad to now I was home, what a change. She didn't know where I went, just shopping but at least she wasn't honery about it. She said she had a good time playing with the kids too and Melody painted her nails for her and she is proud of that. It is midnight and I just put mom to bed, she had to tell me all about her night first and ask me what I saw while I was out that I might want Santa to bring me, I told her about this gorgeous guy, she said she would see what she could do. SMILE.
Well, I'm finally back online. My computer has been down because of all the drywall sanding and painting that has been going on around here and I have been out of order as well. I spent three full days priming, taping and painting this place only to wind up falling. I was trying to get the tape down, lost my balance and fell pretty hard. I cracked two ribs, pulled my right shoulder and neck muscles, messed up my right hip, pulled a toe nail all the way back and cut off the tip of the other one. Guess I have had a bad week. SMILE. Mom has been good through all this though, she does more for herself now that she knows I can't help her too much and the mess of painting and stuff has been fun for her, gives her something to watch and look forward to.
We had a fun and hectic day. All of my kitchen is still torn up, the appliances have been in my living room for a few days and I had a birthday dinner to do tonight. Robert's birthday is Tuesday, he will be 22 but we celebrated it tonight because of his work schedule. It was really fun trying to bake a ham and all that goes with it in the condition my kitchen is in but alas, all worked out well. My mom even got to spank him, smile. She really enjoyed having the family around for a few hours and really liked the cake! Tomorrow the guy will be here to lay the vinyl so we will get back to normal soon.
Well, the vinyl is down! Gosh it looks so good I am afraid to walk on it. Most all of the painting is done too, except for the trim around the windows. Now to get the appliances back in, not until tomorrow though. Mom is so happy with the new area and the way it looks. She feels comfortable walking around it now too, it is lighter color than the old stuff so it is easier for her see. She is really doing pretty well getting around now days and her memory back on the upside after stalling there for awhile.
I worked my butt off today, cleaning, shinning, hanging pictures, putting stuff back where it belongs(at least for now,SMILE). My appliances are back, thank God, no more hot plate cooking hurray. Mom said I looked like a chicken with its head cut off, running around. She finally yelled at me to sit down and have a cup of coffee and take the load off for awhile, after all 'she is too damn old to be taking care of me right now.' I noticed a large bruise on mom's left hip/buttocks last night when I put her to bed. I asked her how she did that but she didn't have a clue. She hasn't fallen or landed in the chair too hard at all so I am clueless also. She says it hurts but like any bruise would not like the other one did. I am keeping an eye on her gait, the bruise, her walking to see if anything shows up.
Happy 22nd Birthday Robert
Today was a great day for me. I got up very early, strange since mom had me up until 2:00, it was such a pretty sunrise this morning. It was very foggy, dew all over and the smell of damp hay...Memories. I spent the day fixing up the house again and getting the back room ready. I brought a box of pictures in for mom to go through for me and organize, she did a very good job. Her memory was pretty mixed up today, she didn't know I was her daughter just my name, where she was or why etc. I am glad I am not an optimistic person, I always have expected the worse and rejoice when good happens. I guess this is left over baggage from childhood but it sure helps when trying to deal with mom and her memory/diagnosis/AD/B12 whatever, at least I don't have my hopes up. I got mom to bed at 11:30 tonight, hopefully she will sleep all night
Mom was off the wall again all day today. Rambling about nonsense stuff, asking me who my parents are, pleased to know she was my mom, wondering how she had gotten to my house then in the next breath being normal, answering questions correctly on Jeopardy and solving Wheel puzzles. Wow, how confusing. Her bruise is getting better and doesn't seem to be anything else, she is still walking well although a bit stiff at times. She got herself dressed for bed tonight without help from me.
I found out today that my refinancing didn't go through so I am now back to square one. Seems because I don't have a credit history they want me to go into debt establishing one so they can refinance me. Makes sense huh?. I did get a check today, $24.28 from Amazon.com for books purchased from my site. This will be used to pay for my internet service, pretty nice getting that. Mom has been pretty good today, still confused at times but not as bad as yesterday. She is doing alot more walking without her walker helping her, she does walk kind of crooked though. She goes to her GP next month for a regular exam I'll mention it to him. Speaking of next month, it is NATIONAL ALZHEIMER'S MONTH. I would like to see each and every caregiver write a letter to the editor of their local paper or to their state representatives or Oprah(or some other talk show)just to do something make it be known that we are out here and just how many of us there are.
Mom and I were sitting at the table eating dinner tonight, she kept staring at me. I finally asked her did I have bugger or something, hoping to get a laugh out of her but instead I got a very serious mom. She stated that she was worried about me because I have such dark circles under my eyes, I told her not to worry it was just that I was having trouble sleeping lately but all would be fine. Her response was one of pure love for me. She told me "that she knew taking care of her all the time was a heavy load and she was sorry for all the added stress it puts on me, she hates being responsible for the worry written on my face, however, although selfish, she asked permission to stay here until she goes, she would be too frightened to leave this world alone, without me by her side. She promised that she would try to do more for herself and become the independent person she once was." I was so moved by these statements that I just cried like a baby, I bent over and hugged my mom, my mother, my best friend and reassured her that she was not the problem, that I love her very much and would not have her living any place else. She gave me a big kiss, grinned from ear to ear and apologized for making me cry.
