This message is bought to you with an opinion that has created some controversy. It is not intended to bash anyone. It's purpose is to share a different view, to enlighten, to promote and challenge your morals and values, and to provide a sense of understanding for the betterment of our families.
Let us begin with this question: Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why so many of our men are in jail, using or selling drugs, alcoholics, or unemployed?
Controversy #1: What makes you think so many men are in this predicament? It is simply not true.
Response #1: Have you taken a walk in the correctional facilities, mental institutions, drug and alcohol facilities, on the street corners, at the unemployment offices lately? Maybe, you should invest some time doing so? This is based on pure observation. Facilities are used in many instances as a plan called genocide. Keep the men institutionalized and it stops or decreases the process of reproduction.
Controversy #2: Look at how the drugs and firearms got into the country, states, cities, neighborhoods?
Response #2: By boat, airplanes, and trucks owned and operated by those who can afford these luxuries in life. Why, is the better question to ask yourselves? It is to create destruction amongst certain groups of people. Knowing all this, why participate. Drugs and firearms have been used as a plan called genocide. People use drugs and guns to kill. Non-participation serves two purposes: it disallows certain people to prosper at the expense of destroying lives and decreases the death rate involving firearms.
Controversy #3: I know a lot of positive brothers who are employed.
Response #3: How many have meaningful employment to support their families with the same pay equity as their counterpart? Are they able to be the primary or sole providers in our households as their counterparts?
We are not living our legacies, we are living the legacy of one man that comes to my mind - William Lynch. Therefore, we must make a change now by first re-educating ourselves, re-focusing on our family structure, becoming alert to hidden agendas that affect us, become active participants in the lives of our children and in the plight against injustices.
We must learn to constantly and lovingly express our needs in our relationships and in society as a culture. In addition, we must get ahead and help one another ahead. Most importantly, we have to restore the pride and proudness to our men. It should be easy for us to place our men in their rightful place as head of our households. As a Christian, a man's place is the head of the wife. However, this refers to Christian men not worldly men and if he's not a Christian perhaps you should lead him to Christ for himself and for the sake of a meaningful relationship with a woman.
Let me take a moment to define head as it is used in the aforementioned paragraph. In English, the word "head" is defined as boss, chief, atop, superior. This is not the definition I am referring to ladies!
If this is not what you have and how your spiritual man feels, re-exam the man because there's a whole lot of boys runnin around!
For those individuals who are not Christians, challenge your own conscious to know that this idea is viewed as a way of life that promotes respect, dignity, and pride.
Let's journey to employment in today's society. I refuse to believe that our men are lackadaisical and inertial beings who refuse to work and sell illegal controlled substances just as I refuse to believe that women would prefer to sit at home on welfare. These are not a preferences, it is a way of life for many due to lack of self-esteem, support, and rejection. Are we really aware of the other hidden forces fighting against us?
The forces that will employ a woman before employing our man. Why? Women are not perceived as a threat to a man, but a man is perceived as a threat to one another. As a result, the structure of the family is off balanced in accordance to societal's definition of how the family structure is arranged. How is it off balanced? Our men who have a sense of pride, an ego, a heart, and a soul become frustrated. The frustration is a result of rejection, not being respected, nor acknowledged as a positive individual with intelligence in the work force and at home. Our men have objectives, goals, a mission, and a vision for himself and his family as any other individual. This is sometimes compounded with a frustrated woman who is the sole or primary provider who demands certain participation. In addition, there are other variables that affect our men. One of those variables is domestic relations.
Yes, men should support their children without a doubt. On the other hand, we need to seek support not out of anger. We need to stop utilizing a system just to manipulate a man and control a particular circumstance or situation. Secondly, we need to use the money wisely for the children and not depend on it as an additional source of income to regulate the monetary needs within our household. If you were to save and invest it wisely, perhaps our children could attend college without depending on a system to give our children the money. What message are we really sending out to our children? Graduate from high school, go to college! Okay, now that our child has completed high school with a 4.0 GPA and has been accepted to an elite college, where is the money to attend? Why allow our children to begin their lives in debt paying back the loans when we could have saved something to offset this cost. How many women do you know use child support for clothing, nail and hair care for themselves?
Let us begin to define ourselves and our own roles in life. Do not allow money to be the catalyst that determines head of household or who is in control. Do not allow society to dictate and define how our family should be structured. If the men can not find gainful employment, we must communicate and not dictate our needs in the household and resolve our constraints together. For example, if the constraint is child care, the man should be willing to offer his assistance as a contribution to the household and to offset the monetary responsibility. The monetary savings can be used to help the family, but discuss it and compromise on what is the best way to enhance it for the family and don't blow it!
Finally, ladies do not wait nor depend on anyone or any system (welfare, domestic relations) to help you achieve your dreams and goals in life. Chart your plans and follow your path to success. This means becoming totally independent and striving which in most cases is a struggle. Why are we still looking for the prince in shiny armor to rescue us from poverty? It won't happen captain. Stop looking for the materials things a man has to offer. Learn to look inward rather than outward (physical appearance). Look into the heart, mind, and soul of the man and try to understand and support his struggles.
Do not destroy thyself with the plan of another man that has been placed before you (cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol). Don't participate! Is the war about drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes? Is it a mistake or is it intentional? Or, could it possibly be on you as a woman and on you as a people! Again, you determine your destiny, and you must take your place in this circle of life.
Get to know yourself, your history, your man, your children, and your people. Most importantly, get to know your God who reveals and provides all things!
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