Hi There,

Good Job! Thats right. The horses name was "LOVE".

Don't bother looking for any hidden little things on this page. Just a normal page this time.

I just want to share an experience and make a point. How do you like this background? Sort of looks like I feel lately with all these conflicting emotions. It has been a trying week as I have been getting test results.

First thing I had better do is get right to the point because I know I am rambling a bit and not staying focused too good right now. Too much on my mind. The point is that when you are getting the results and the accompanying information, it gets overwhelming and it would be a real good idea to take someone with you to help you remember. Taking one of those hand recorders is good but you still forget the WAY things were said and you may later interprete them wrong.

I think it is safe now to say that I do have TBI. Well, at least from one doctor so far. Last week I got the opinion of the doctor who was doing the mental abilities testing. She specializes in ADD kids and TBI. She feels that there is sufficient evidence that I have suffered a deficit as a result of the injury. However, although this deficit is a significant loss of my abilities, it is just below the "normal" average person. The treatment she proposes may not be covered my my insurance as they feel that being average is good enough. Even though it hampers my lifestyle and affects the way I perform my job. But this is good news. I have hope that I can restore myself to nearly my pre injury state... Welcome home Georgia! I have been on an emotional high and very anxious to begin the treatment.

But the next thing I had to do was to talk to my employer. That was very difficult and it really hurt to have to say out loud..."I am not capable of doing the things you have come to expect of me". Like he hadn't already noticed it. I didn't talk to him earlier cause I wanted to have some answers to give him first. He is very understanding and will try to work things out so that the time need for my treatment can be scheduled. I really hadn't expected any less from him but it is hard when you have do do something so emotionally charged. Don't want to cry in front of the BOSS but right now there is little control over that. So I just took a deep breath, started talking and got things explained between the tears. And it wasn't so bad.
( Course it helped that Russ came up then and had lunch with me and gave me that HUG I needed! )

Then yesterday I went to the neuro guy who was doing all the physical tests. I left there feeling very angry but after talking to Russ, who went with me, we have decided that because of my reaction, I lost focus and didn't hear everything he was saying. He said that there was not any problem with physical damage evidence. Which is not that unusual for just CAT scans and EEG's unless the damage is extensive. He on the other hand questions the first ones treatment reccomendation. This is very frustrating. The first doctor is so supportive and enthusiastic about the improvements that can be made...then the next one acts so nonchalant about what you are going through. He recommends just trying the second line medication choice but didn't listen when I told him that my original doctor had already tried it at twice the dose and it didn't help. He didn't seem to want to listen but he did say that he would write a letter to the insurance company if I decided to pursue the treatment. But I hadn't heard that. I was already too upset. But Russ heard it and I do remember that now that I give it some thought. Glad he was with me or I would have still been terribly upset.

My next step is to return my primary doctor to get the final recommendation for treatment. ( By the way, I really hate HMO insurance but what can you do? ) I will let you know what happens.

Okay, now....onward through this web site.