Title: Magnolia Scented Madeleines
Author: Evie Whiting
Address: fishadam@hotmail.com
Rating: PG
Keywords: Post-ep, MSR, Angst
Spoilers: Je-Souhaite, foreshadows Requiem, the abduction arc, the
cancer arc. If you don’t know by now, hang your head in shame
people. Oh and spoilers for Steel Magnolia’s I guess. If you have
somehow managed to evade seeing one of the first definitive ‘chick-
flicks’, don’t read this unless you want to know how it ends.
Archive: Ooh yes please, but let me know
Summary: Steel Magnolias? Mulder’s seeing parallels
Feedback: Will be loved to the point that it actually becomes
unhealthy.
Dedication: To Sarah, who told me that I had to get this out of my
system. To Bron, without whom, I’d have never become a fic writer
(hey should I be thanking you woman?). And to Fish, who taught me
all I know about love.
***********************************************
“Mulder, Mulder, open the door...please.” Scully had been banging
on the bathroom door for the last twenty minutes. Concern was fast
becoming full-blown panic.
One minute they had both been enjoying the movie ( not even Mulder
could hold out against Shirley Maclaine’s antics), the next minute
he had vaulted off her couch, in a move worthy of any Olympic
gymnast, straight into the bathroom, where she’d heard him retching
ever since.
“Open the goddamned door Mulder, or I’ll break the damn thing in”
Fear made her voice shrill with worry.
Before she could make good her threat, the door creaked open, and
Mulder managed to come out, albeit unsteadily.
The relief was short-lived however, when she got a good look at his
face.
Never had she seen him look so bad, not even during those dark days
when her cancer was a constant shadow over and between them.
What she didn’t know, what she had no way of knowing, was he had
worn this look throughout the three months of her abduction.
“I told you popcorn without butter was un-American Scully. How
could you expect a patriot like me to be able to stomach that
cardboard?” he quipped trying to pre-empt her anxious inquiries.
“Mulder?” It was a plea, a warning and a question.
“I’m fine Scully” he answered, daring her to contradict the obvious
lie.
She refused to let herself wince at that little barb. If she had
been in his position, she would have said exactly the same thing,
probably in the very same tone as well. That didn’t mean, it didn’t
hurt any less. It was the first time, in their newborn intimacy,
he’d shut her out, consciously.
There was no point in pushing the issue, he’d only shut her out
further if she did. They were so alike really. Still it didn’t
preclude her from trying one last time.
“Mulder are you ok?”
“Scully would you leave it...please. I said I’m fine, and I meant
it. You of all people should be able to respect that.”
The growing panic in his voice stopped her questioning him further.
“All right Mulder, come on, sit down, we can finish the movie. We
still have got to...”
“NO” He made no attempt to disguise the stark terror in his voice
this time.
“All right Mulder, that’s enough. Tell me right now what is going
on.” She held his face in her hands, as she had done once before in
his hallway. He desperately tried to avoid her gaze, this time, but
she refused to let him, forcing his eyes to meet hers.
The raw anguish and pain she saw, took her breath away, even as she
strengthened her hold of his face.
“Tell me” she pleaded softly.
Almost imperceptibly his hands crept up to her face, unconsciously
mirroring her actions.
“Scully,” he whispered “ you’re still here.”
Before she could fathom what exactly he meant, she found herself in
a crushing embrace.
Unable to guess what had caused this meltdown, she gently stroked
the nape of his neck crooning gently as he clung to her, shaking
with suppressed sobs, bury his head in the crook of her neck.
It wasn’t until he looked up and brushed her cheeks tenderly, that
she realised she’d been crying in unison with him.
“Let’s sit down” he said in a voice still choked with tears
He felt her nod and guided them automatically to the couch. Sitting
on his usual side, he didn’t allow her to move to hers, hauling her
onto his lap instead, tucking her into the hollow of his embrace.
“It was the film” he whispered, finally, breaking the waiting
silence.
“The film?”
“The end of it, when she was in the coma...it was like... it was
like...” he petered off unable to continue.
“...my abduction” she finished, the proverbial light bulb finally
going off. “ Oh Mulder” she murmured softly against his bent head.
“ I started seeing you there, in that bed. One morning when you
were...in the coma, I managed to get off early so that I could come
see you. Your mom was there, she was giving you those ROM
exercises. She was so determined. You were going to get better,
there was no question about it. It was when, not if you woke up.
But the next day, Doctor Daly came, and he told her about your
Living Will, and I had to tell her what it meant... that you didn’t
want to live like that. It was because of me, that she decided to
turn off the life support.
I tried to tell her, we couldn’t use your will, because it couldn’t
take into account what had happened to you, but I couldn’t make her
understand. I couldn’t understand myself. I kept thinking ‘why
you’. But I think I knew, even then I knew..”
The deadness of his eyes frightened her into speaking, “ Mulder,
Mulder, please, you have got to stop. I don’t blame you. Not about
any of it. If it hadn’t have been for you, I wouldn’t have wanted
to come back. I felt myself drifting away Mulder...that night. Even
my father thought it was my time, but I wasn’t ready to leave,
because it meant leaving you, and I could hear you so clearly.
Everything you said. The only reason I didn’t die that night, is
because you wouldn’t let me. You have to believe me, because that’s
what I believe.
He looked searchingly at her, trying to see whether or not she
meant what she’d said, or was only saying it to pacify him. Scully
accepted his penetrating glance, knowing this was one time Mulder
needed some form of proof to believe.
Whatever he was looking for, her found in her serene gaze.
Slowly, almost hesitantly, he bridged the gap between them.
His kiss was laced with the bitterness of his tears, but Scully
only moved closer, deepening it.
After their lungs could take no more, they broke apart reluctantly,
still clinging to each other, unwilling to lose the contact.
Mulder re-arranged them, so they were both stretched out on the
couch, Scully virtually on him.
“You never did tell me your final wish” she slurred drowsily,
breaking the gentle silence which had enveloped them.
“I... I wished Jenn free”
“Why?” Scully asked, all sleepiness, forgotten.
“Because you were right” he said with a wry grin “ and because
there’s nothing I want for myself, that I don’t already have.”
“Nothing?”
“Nothing.”
It was a half truth, but there was no way he could tell her the
only thing he still found himself wishing for, despite knowing how
impossibly out of reach it was.
Besides, God knows how Jenn would have twisted his wish to suit her
own bizarre brand of karma.
No, uber-Scully-Mulders were destined to be only his most private
dream. One he couldn’t share, even with Scully.
“ I wish you’d wished away the auditor” Scully piped up suddenly.
“Huh?”
“Didn’t Skinner tell you? Welcome to the world of corporate crime-
solving Mulder. They are looking to make us more cost efficient.”
“Aw shit... oh well, we could always cut down on costs by sharing a
room. Think I should suggest it?”
It should have bothered him more, but somehow with a pliant,
relaxed Scully draped all over him, it didn’t seem so bad.
Armegeddon wouldn’t have seemed that bad really, not so long as he
could stay like this.
“Hmmm” Scully said skeptically
“Hmmm?”
“It’s just ... I’m so happy... I keep on waiting for the other shoe
to drop.” She laughed sheepishly “ I’m not used to being happy, not
like this.”
“Like how” he asked softly, nuzzling her neck the whole time
“Completely, is one word. Utterly, totally. Any of the above.”
“ Then somehow, Scully, without the services of any genie, or
anything else we agree to disagree on, I’ve got my wish ”
“Believe me Mulder, so have I.”
The End
For all those who’ve written to me about Pandora, I’m sorry, but
this story just wouldn’t let me go. It’s been buzzing around in my
head for ages. Pandora Chapter 5 is well on the way to being
completed, so don’t despair. Also, after this week, the chapter
should be coming out a lot faster. Oh the title of this is because
of Marcel Proust, who remembered about 20 volumes, because of the
smell of Madeleine cakes.
Hope you enjoyed this little offering. My first, post-ep fic.
Remember feedback is food for fanfic authors.
(
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