Title: Nova

Author: Angel

Feedback: Please!

Archive: Please!

Classification: MSR, Colonization fic.

Rating: NC-17 (for some parts-very mild but to be safe!) Others are probably PG-13 or so.

Summery: The inevitable happens. Mulder has planned ahead and now does everything in his power to keep Scully safe. You MUST read all parts to understand! Available at Ephemeral and my home page.

Disclaimer: You know the drill. Characters are property of Fox, 1013, ect. No money is being made. No infringement is intended. Some poems are used without permission, names of authors are given. Prayers which I did not write, and I don’t know who wrote are included in some areas.

Homepage: (to find missing parts and sooner or later the completed version, also posted at Ephemeral)

A HUGE thanks to Evie my beta reader! Nova would never be doing this well, or going as fast, without her help! Thank you thank you thank you thank you!

Note: Want Nova updates in the mail? Just let me know!

"Baby don’t look up, the sky is falling." Tori Amos

(19/?)

Day 109

"Mulder?" Scully whispered softly, partly hoping he was asleep. She felt nervous, almost afraid. But the unanswerable question was eating her up inside.

Lazily Mulder rolled from have his back to her onto his side, his hand falling idly onto her belly, his eyes still closed.

"I didn’t know if you were still awake." She said just as softly, turning her head to look at him.

"Barely." He mumbled. He actually had been, but the insecurity in her voice had woken him.

Scully placed her hand on top of his, her fingers lightly stroking the length of his. She could feel his hand rising and falling with her rapid breathing.

"Something wrong?" He kept is tone light, trying to calm the tenseness he felt radiating off of her.

Scully looked up at his face, his eyes were still closed. "No. Everything is fine." She looked back down at their hands.

Mulder frowned. "Well now that you said that I know something is wrong." He rubbed her stomach lightly, her hand now resting atop his. "Talk to me."

Sucking in a long breath Scully was silent for a moment as she organized her thoughts. She turned her head to look at his face once again. Gathering all the mental strength she could muster she whispered out the secret she had been keeping for a month now. "I think I am pregnant." She pressed his hand, under hers, against her belly.

Scully watched as his face hardened, his brow furrowed, the muscle in his jaw tensed, his eyes shut tightly. She watched as his throat worked to swallow thickly. "Scully…" He said softly, painfully, as his eyes slowly opened to look into hers. They shone with unshed tears.

She quickly looked away, back to their hands. "I… I know I shouldn’t be- shouldn’t be able to. But I think I am."

"Why do you think that?" He asked softly, trying to find the best way to handle this. Those few words had awakened his guilt about her infertility, the guilt of telling Benjamin, the fear that they will not have to deal with the pain when they find out she isn’t carrying a child, countless-nameless feelings that tore his heart apart.

Scully’s rehearsed reasoning poured out of her mouth quickly. "I haven’t gotten my period in months. When I was sick- that easily could have been morning sickness. I was so tired. Now I’m putting on weight without eating more then usual." Finally hearing the words spoken aloud made her question each and every one. Not being completely convinced herself made it difficult to persuade Mulder. She forced her body not to tremble with fear of rejection.

Mulder stayed silent for a moment. "Scully…. There is nothing more I want then for that to be true but-"

"Damn it Mulder! I’m a doctor for God’s sake." She spoke defensively, squeezing his fingers in hers.

"I know that." He said his voice thick with emotion. "But, it’s not possible. You know that, you told me that. I… I just don’t want you- I don’t want me to get attached to this thought when it’s impossible."

Scully closed her eyes, the silent tears falling down her cheeks mirrored his. She knew what he said should be true, but she didn’t believe it. She refused to believe it. With a deep empowering breath she pushed his hand off her body. "Feel this." She said desperately, but firmly. "Tell me there isn’t a life in here." She pulled up her shirt to expose her stomach, then took his hand and pressed it against her warm skin, his fingers sinking slightly into the softness. "I feel it. Can’t you?"

Pressing his hand into her body more he buried his face in her neck, the pain taking his strength away.

Day 110

"You look like hell." Skinner observed as he stepped up in line for morning rations behind Mulder.

Mulder glanced over his shoulder. "Yeah… Long night."

"Judging by the tone I take it the long night wasn’t the enjoyable kind of long night."

He rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes. "Not at all." Mulder paused for a moment before explaining. "Scully thinks she’s pregnant." He said softly in case of listening ears.

Skinner was shocked. "Is she?" At Mulder’s shrug he went on. "There’s really no way to tell yet."

Mulder shook his head. "Not really. She’s sure of it though."

"I take it you’re not."

"I don’t know. I’d love for it to be true, trust me. But it shouldn’t be. She can’t be."

Their conversation was interrupted by Amanda walking by. "Hi, Walter." She said with a slightly shy smile.

"Good morning, Amanda."

Mulder looked on in an amused silence as Skinner watched her walk down the hall until she was out of sight.

Skinner looked back over at Mulder as they took a few steps forward in the line. His smile quickly faded when he saw Mulder’s face. "Don’t say a word, Mulder."

Of course Mulder didn’t listen. "This is a surprise."

"Shut up."

Mulder chuckled. "What?" He smiled as innocently as he could manage. "She’s a very pretty woman…. I don’t have much to say about her personality though."

Skinner nodded. "She’s… coming around."

Mulder took his bag from the rations counter and stepped away. "Well you have more patience then me. I’ll talk to you later."

"Good luck yourself." Skinner called as Mulder walked away.

A few minutes later Mulder walked back into his room where Scully was sitting quietly at the table. They had barely spoken since the night before. "I ran into Skinner." He said softly as he poured her a glass of milk.

"How is he?" She asked absentmindedly, rolling the cold glass around in here palms.

"Good." He set the pan on the stove. "I think he and Amanda have something brewing."

Scully’s head shot up, a strange smile on her face. "Really? That’s…. odd."

Mulder shrugged, returning smile glad for something to lighten the mood between them. "I don’t know. I think it will be good for both of them."

"Yeah… maybe." Scully agreed lost in thought.

Mulder looked over at her as he leaned against the back wall waiting for the eggs to cook. "Having someone you care about, who cares about you makes a big difference. I honestly don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have you. I wouldn’t have even bothered trying to save myself after They came."

Scully looked back over at him, a deadly serious expression on her face. "Don’t say that Mulder."

He moved the pan off the fireplace and kneeled in front of her. "I’m serious. When I came to get you when this all happened. And I saw you, laying there, bleeding." His fingers traced over the healed skin of her forehead. "I knew that if you were dead I wouldn’t have gone on. No reason to."

"Stop." She whispered painfully.

He took her face in his hands. "I love you Scully. I always have, you know that. And you know that my life is nothing without you."

Scully sniffled softly, trying to keep the tears from coming. She pressed her face into his neck. "I love you too."

Note: Well? What do you think? Have I mentioned I am having a great time writing this? And no it has nothing to do with the fact that I am messing with all your minds…. Not at all =).