Title: Nova
Author: Angel
Email: JumperChick@aol.com
Feedback: Please! I love every but of it!
Archive: Please! If you need txt copies let me know.
Or link to
http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Bath/7266/nov
apage.html
Classification: MSR, Colonization fic. (If I say
anymore I'd give it all away!)
Spoilers: All the way up to 7th season finale but NOT
including even though nothing much is really
mentioned.
Rating: NC-17 (for some parts-very mild consensual
sex- but to be safe!) Others are probably PG-13 or so
for naughty words and implied naughty stuff =).
Summery: The inevitable happens. Mulder has
planned ahead and now does everything in his power
to keep Scully safe.
You MUST read all parts to understand! Available at
Ephemeral and my home page.
Disclaimer: You know the drill. Characters are
property of Fox, 1013, ect. No money is being made.
No infringement is intended. A few poems and songs
are used without permission, names of authors are
given. Prayers which I did not write, and I don't
know who wrote are included in some areas.
Homepage: (to find missing parts and sooner or later
the completed version, also posted at Ephemeral)
http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Bath/7266/ang
elsfanfic.html
A HUGE thanks to Evie my beta reader! Nova would
never be doing this well, or going as fast, without her
help! Thank you thank you thank you thank you!
Umm. one more! Thank you!
"Baby don't look up, the sky is falling." Tori Amos
Part 1 of 48
Day 1
A late spring morning like any other...
Mulder braced himself against the wall as another
quake caused the building to quiver; a picture rattled
off the wall. It's crash went unnoticed as Mulder
shoved all his spare clips for his gun into his hiking
bag. Hauling the already heavy pack over his
shoulder he made his way into the kitchen, stumbling
as the building shook again. Emergency sirens blared
through the broken windows as he packed what
canned and dried food he had, matches, batteries, and
the few bottles of water from the refrigerator whose
door was left swung open letting chilled but unlit air
into the brown hazed room. Mulder made his way to
the door, full pack over his shoulders. He cursed
himself and went back into his bedroom and
rummaged through the closet until he came upon a
fireproof safe. Quickly entering the combination he
pulled out the items contained; now useless cash, a
folded piece of paper and two silver chains. Shoving
the contents into his front jean pocket he left his
apartment without a second glance, without shutting
the door.
Stepping outside the sirens wailed loudly as Mulder
made his way to his car. The street was flooded with
panicked drivers, heading no where and anywhere.
He guided his car, as best he could, out onto the side
streets and floored the gas pedal ignoring the earth as
it shook, ignoring the sky that had turned dull and
thick, but most of all ignoring his thoughts.
"Scully!" Mulder called as he pounded on the door.
After no answer he pulled out his keys letting himself
in. He stepped into the apartment and looked around.
"Scully?" He made his way to her bedroom stepping
over broken lamps, nick-knacks, and other debris.
Walking into her room he saw her, laying on her bed,
which had collapsed, a small trickle of blood fell
from her forehead that was resting against the leg of
her night table. "Scully?" He kneeled beside her and
touched her cheek.
She gasped as her eyes flew open.
"It's ok. It's me."
Scully cringed and pressed the heel of her hand to her
forehead.
"You ok?" Mulder asked as he helped her sit up.
"Yeah I think so." She looked around in awe. All she
remembered was waking up to a loud bang then the
ground seeming to fall from under her. "What
happened?"
Mulder was silent for a moment. "The inevitable."
Scully's jaw went slack as she took in the sirens, the
shaking ground, the haze in the air, and the
indescribable expression on Mulder's face. She
slowly shook her head. "No." It came out more of a
sob then a word. "No. I'm dreaming. This isn't
happening."
Mulder took her face in his hands and met her eyes.
"It's happening. I need you to listen to me, Scully.
Ok?" She nodded quickly not knowing what else to
do. "Ok you need to get dressed, we have to leave
now. Where's your hiking bag?" Her jaw worked for
a moment as she tried to speak. "Scully, focus, where
is it?"
She cleared her throat. "Hall closet."
He nodded and helped her stand. "You need to get
dressed." He left without another word. After pulling
the bag from the closet he tore open her cabinets
dropping in anything useful. More cans of food, bags
of rice and pasta, bread mixes, bottled water, any
food he could find that wouldn't spoil quickly, a
small pot, some utensils.
He turned to Scully as she walked out, still in a daze.
He took her arm and brought her back into the
bedroom dropping the bag onto the slanted bed and
picking up her gun to pack. "Clothes, Scully." She
nodded and walked to her closet handing him pairs of
jeans, shirts, an extra pair of shoes; dependable multi
use clothes like the ones they both wore and Mulder
had packed for himself.
"I have some blankets." She mumbled pulling a few
fleece blankets from the shelf in her closet. Just as
Mulder shoved them into the overflowing bag the
room shook. They braced themselves in the doorway.
"The siren stopped." Scully whispered after a
moment.
Mulder nodded and pulled her out of the room.
"Flashlights? Batteries?" He was about to go on but
Scully held up a hand for him to stop and pulled open
a drawer. She dropped the items in question along
with a lighter and a small army knife. She walked
into the bathroom with some medicine bottles, soap
and a few other things. She pulled the bag on as they
walked towards the door.
Scully turned before she stepped out of the door.
"Wait, Mulder." She called as he was leaving. She
ran to her desk and pulled a photo from a drawer and
placed that in the bag also before they left the
apartment.
"Is your gas tank full?"
"Yeah." They made their way to the car oblivious to
the screaming people in the streets.
"Ok let's drain it and we'll take my car." Scully
nodded and unlocked the trunk for Mulder. He pulled
out the gas can and sieved the gas into it as Scully
opened her glove compartment. She pulled out
another flashlight and her first aid kit. "Scully?"
Mulder called as he capped the can.
"I'm ready." She called back and pulled the pack
back on. Mulder lead her around to the back of the
building to where he had left his car, thankfully no
one had broken into it. Stowing the gathered items
into the back seat they climbed in. Mulder made his
way back out onto the road, which was cluttered with
cars.
"We aren't getting anywhere too soon." Scully
whispered. She reached forward and flipped on the
radio. Nothing came back but dead air. "Towers must
be down." She mumbled as she continued to scan
through the stations. All the way at the end of the dial
a soft beep, beep-beep, bee-eep, beep came through.
"Morse code." Scully flipped off the radio and sat
back in her seat.
Mulder glanced her way before turning onto a side
street in an attempt to get away from the traffic. After
some time they were on the highway. It was littered
with cars, but they were able to do the speed limit.
Finally taking a moment to look around they did. The
sky looked foggy and dirty, like it was covered in
damp dust. No clouds were visible. In the distance
there were several red glowing areas from fires and
explosions. Buildings were crumbling for the
constant shaking of the ground. The pavement had
even started to crack in some places. Everything was
dark, no lights from the windows. The power went
out hours ago. The sun had vanished behind the thick
haze. Cars were pulled off the road. Hoards of people
walked the roads. Once tall old trees lay on their
sides. There was no wind. The air was heavy and
still. Waiting.
Scully couldn't look anymore. She turned onto her
side and curled herself up in the seat facing Mulder.
She took in his expression. His jaw was clenched, his
eyes alert, hands strong on the wheel. Determined.
She closed her eyes and thought. For the first time
since Mulder woke her she thought. Her mother, she
was in San Diego visiting Charlie. She would worry.
Bill. Where was he at sea right now? She couldn't
think about that anymore. Her heart couldn't take it.
She looked back at Mulder. "Where are we going?"
She asked the dead silence of the car.
He glanced over at her and swallowed roughly.
"Some where safe." He turned away from her.
Scully didn't ask anymore questions. She didn't want
to. She wanted to wake up in her bed, this being all a
bad dream. The worse dream possible.
Mulder unconsciously slowly the car as he starred out
the top of the windshield. Scully sat straight up and
looked up as a large ship passed silently and slowly
over them. Mulder clenched his jaw and pressed
down hard on the gas petal.
***
Scully woke as the car slowed to a stop. She sat up
and looked around them. Mulder had pulled into a
rest station on the highway. The soda machine had
already been forced open but there was no one is
sight.
"I'm going to put the rest of the gas in the tank. Take
a minute to walk around but be careful." He warned
as he tucked his gun into the front of his jeans and
stepped out of the car.
Scully nodded even though he couldn't see her and
stood on stiff legs. The air was cold from the lack of
direct sun all day. She looked across at the rest
station and spotted the area map. Pennsylvania, they
were somewhere is Pennsylvania. Probably not very
far on less then one tank of gas. Mulder touched her
shoulder lightly as he walked by her and into the
men's room, gun drawn. With a sigh Scully pulled
her own gun out and walked into the bathroom. The
room was almost pitch black save for the slight
grayish light from the one window. Glancing around
and under doors she put her gun away knowing she
was alone. Emptying her bladder she almost laughed
bitterly after noticing someone had taken all the toilet
paper. She walked to the sink and stared at her dim
reflection in the mirror. She looked tired, alone and
scared. She was all of those things and more.
Reaching down she flipped on the faucet already
knowing nothing would come out. She caught the
few drops that fell.
"Scully?" His voice was full of concern.
"I'll be right out, Mulder." She called back.
Pointlessly turning the faucet off she walked back out
into the night. Mulder was leaning up against the car
scanning the surrounding area when she walked out.
"It's quiet." She stated as she got back into the car.
Mulder nodded and looked around. "Too quiet." He
started the car and pulled back onto the road only
slightly dotted with other cars.
"What do you think They are doing?"
He glanced at her and let out a breath before facing
the road again. "Taking who they need and killing
who they don't."
Scully didn't ask for details. They both had their own
ideas about who They would want, and why. And
whom They didn't want and what they were doing to
them. Realizing for the first time that she was hungry
Scully reached for her bag. After passing Mulder a
bottle of water and getting her own she pulled out a
jar of peanut butter and bread, squished from being in
the bag, but bread nonetheless. She made Mulder a
sandwich and passed it over to him.
"You never told me you were a gourmet cook."
Mulder commented with mock surprise.
Scully laughed softly appreciating his efforts to
lighten the situation. When they had finished eating
Scully looked over at Mulder. He was just as tired as
she. "You want me to drive for a while?"
"No I'm ok."
"Maybe we should stop for the night and get some
sleep." She tried again.
"No I want to get as close as we can as soon as
possible."
"Where are we going, Mulder?" She asked in a tone
that meant she wanted the full answer. He shot her a
quick glance and reached into his pocket. He handed
her two silver charms each on their own lengthy
chain. She held the chains up so that the charms
dangled in the low light of the car. Two identical
small stars swung in front of her eyes. "I don't
understand. what are these?"
"Our passports to the Nova Project. Put one on."
Still not understanding she pulled the long chain over
her head, the charm hung low under her shirt, the
cool metal tickling the sensitive skin between her
breasts. He took the other from her hand and pulled it
over his head and tucking it under his tee shirt. "Nova
Project?"
He nodded and passes her the folded paper from his
pocket. "About four years ago the gunmen found out
about it, I don't know how. But they brought it to my
attention. The project has been set up for years,
preparing for when They came. While there were
people working to help Them, there were people
working to help us. I had to buy my way in of course.
It's set up in Canada; They don't like the cool
weather apparently. A system of tunnels have been
built underground. Rooms are built, a water source,
and a system of gardens and barns for farm animals
on the surface. The growing season isn't long. but
it's all planned out. Last I heard over a thousand
people were expected when this happens, but who
knows how long it will take for everyone to get
there."
Scully stared at him in shock. "Mulder. how do you
know that isn't all a load of crap?"
He looked at her soberly. "I don't. But it's better then
nothing."
Scully didn't say anything for a moment. "How do I
work into this?" She asked softly.
Clearing his throat he looked at her for a long
moment. "Scully. I wouldn't go with out you, I
don't want to go without you."
She was silent for sometime. "Why didn't you tell me
about all this?"
Mulder let out a laugh. "Scully you would have told
me I was crazy. You probably still think that. But it
doesn't matter, this is better then sitting in our ruined
apartments waiting for Them to come and kill us isn't
it?"
She nodded quickly then leaned back in her seat
pulling the charm out examining it. "It's actually very
pretty."
He smiled over at her. "Well it's a good thing
because you can't take that off. If anyone sees you
with it, if they are also a member of Nova they have
to help you, and vise versa."
She stared at it another moment before placing it
back under her shirt.
Day 2
Mulder pressed his lips together with an annoyed
smile as Scully bit her lip waiting.
"Come on Bessie, just a little more!" Mulder cheered
to the car as it slowly rolled down the road.
"You've named your car Bessie?" Scully asked with
astonishment.
He nodded. "Yeah about four seconds ago." The car
finally stopped. Mulder sighed. "Well that was over
four hundred miles we don't have to walk." He
looked around the deserted street. "Slide over here
Scully, I'm going to push us down into the trees
some. We'll stay here and get some sleep. I think we
should be ok." He stepped out of the car and into the
cool hazy air.
Scully slid over and steered the car until is was
covered in brush.
Mulder struggled to get back in, cursing at a branch.
Once he sat down Scully passed him a blanket as she
reclined her chair and settled on her side facing him.
He copied her actions and reached out, tucking a
strand of hair behind her ear. "You doing ok?"
She let out a humorless laugh. "Oh yeah wonderful."
He smiled sadly and pulled his hand away. "Get some
sleep."
She closed her eyes and nodded. "You too."
"Mmm Hmm." He mumbled already half way there.
Mulder woke quickly to a tapping sound on his
window. He opened his eyes quickly and glanced at
Scully, she was sleeping soundly. He jumped when
he looked towards his window. "Sir." He said
surprised to see Skinner standing in the brush beside
the car. "How did you find us?" Skinner didn't
answer. Mulder jumped again when a tapping came
at Scully's window. He turned to see Maggie Scully
looking down at him. He turned to the front to see the
Lone Gunmen standing at the hood of the car.
"Scully." He said softly trying to wake her. Glancing
in the rearview mirror he saw four of the guys he
played basketball with on Saturdays. They all began
tapping on the windows.
Mulder jerked upright. His hard breathing the only
sound other then the wind pushing the brush
surrounding the car with soft taps.
"Shh. Mulder it's ok. Just a dream." Scully soothed
placing a hand on the back of his neck.
Mulder let out a long breath and leaned forward
placing his face in his hands.
"What was it about?" She passed him a bottle of
water.
After taking a long drink he looked up at her with
pained eyes. "Everyone we left behind." He leaned
back against the door and shook his head. "I'm so
sorry Scully. I didn't even ask if you wanted to
come with me."
Scully squeezed his knee lightly. "Mulder of course I
would have come with you. I had no place else to
go." She finished in a sad whisper. Mulder placed his
hand over hers and leaned back with his eyes closed.
"You want to get moving?"
Opening his eyes he sat up and nodded. "Yeah, we've
got a hell of a lot of walking to do. Rest of
Pennsylvania, all of New York and some of Canada."
They both got out of the car and pulled on their bags.
"How long do you think it will take?"
"Maybe two months, depending." He said as they
walked up to the road. "Come on, it'll be easier on
the pavement."
Scully was silent lost in her thoughts for some time.
"Is it safe up here?"
He looked around. "I think so. Let's just keep our
eyes out. We need to stay with the roads so I can use
the map."
They walked for hours, side by side, in the dark haze,
in the silence, listening for anything until Mulder
stopped and steered Scully to the side of the road.
"Let's take a break, I'm staving."
Scully fell gratefully to the ground. Running three
miles four times a week for the past two years did not
have her prepared for this. She stretched her legs out
into front of her and lay back against her pack.
Mulder sat beside her and pulled open his pack,
tossing an orange at her. She peeled away the skin
and rolled on her side to look at Mulder. He was
watching down the road suspiciously. Scully
followed his line of vision and saw a family of four
walking up the road towards them. Scully looked
back down at her orange.
Whenever they would come across other people they
would never make eye contact. After glancing for a
Nova pendent they would act like they weren't there.
Scully bit into a piece of orange and fiddled with her
necklace. Just a few days ago she would be fingering
her gold cross, but that now that lay against her
collarbone all but forgotten. They both finished
eating before the family walked by. Scully struggled
to look away from the small boy holding his father's
hand. She kept her eyes down cast until they were
just little dots on the horizon.
Mulder cleared his throat and held a hand for her
after standing. Giving him a weak smile she let him
pull her to her feet. "Better get moving."
***
Mulder and Scully sat back staring at the fire of their
makeshift camp after a dinner of bread and a can of
green beans. Scully tucked the bread back into her
bag and looked up at Mulder. "We aren't going to
have enough food."
"I know."
Scully watched him for a moment before sighing and
pulling the pot of warm water out of the fire. "I'm
going to clean up." He nodded absentmindedly. She
turned, but stayed close to the fire and started to strip
off her clothes, only leaving the bare minimum on.
Dipping a small towel into the warmed water she
washed away the sweat of walking all day carrying a
heavy bag with the knowledge of Mulder's eyes on
her back. She slowly dressed in clean clothes and
turned back to Mulder who adverted his eyes.
"There's still half left." She held back a smile as she
passed him the pot and towel.
"Thanks." He mumbled. Not bothering to turn away
he stripped down to his boxers. Scully tried not to
watch as he washed himself but she was fascinated
by the way the fire played off of his skin. Mulder
looked up at her and refrained from smirking as she
quickly looked away. Silently cursing herself Scully
laid down two of the blankets as a cushion and pulled
out the other three. Mulder redressed and added more
wood to the fire.
Scully looked up at him sheepishly. "We should
share, it'll be warmer."
He grinned. "Finally! It's rained sleeping bags." With
a sigh he settled down next to her and bunched up
two shirts for them to use as pillows.
Scully smiled and shook her head as she lay back
between the fire and Mulder's body. Immediately she
was warmed and felt sleep beckoning. Everything
was quiet; the only sounds were their breathing, the
crackling fire and the calls of small animals. Scully
drifted close to sleep when an explosion and a burst
of light lit the sky. They both sat upright. "What are
They doing?" Scully asked softly.
Mulder shook his head and looked around the sky. "I
don't know. Doesn't sound too close though." He
reached over and placed a hand on Scully's stomach
pushing her back down against the blankets, he left
his hand there and rolled onto his side. Two more
explosions followed quickly, sounding further away.
After a few long moments of silence Mulder gently
rubbed Scully's stomach. "Get some sleep." They lay
awake for a few hours more in silence before finally
drifting off.
Day 3
Mulder woke feeling the sun on his face. Opening his
eyes he could actually see the blue sky instead on a
brown haze for the first time in days. He rolled on his
side to tell Scully. He couldn't help but smile. She
was curled up on her side, blankets wrapped around
her and looking utterly innocent. Deciding not to
wake her yet he climbed out of `bed' and looked
around for a fairly flat rock. Cleaning one side with
water he dropped into in the hot embers from last
night's fire to let it heat. He then dug through their
bags and pulled out the four left over pieces of bread
and a can of pineapple chunks which he opened with
his army knife.
Sensing movement Scully woke up. "Mulder?" She
called softly as she rolled over to look towards the
fire.
"I'm here. Just making breakfast." He placed the
bread on the hot rock. "The sky cleared." He nodded
upward.
She sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Yeah it did." She
started to fold up the blankets and passed Mulder a
bottle of water. "We're almost out."
He nodded and flipped the bread over with a fork as
he passed her the can of fruit. "According to the map
we should intersect with a stream late today, it's set
up so we walk along water most of the time." He
passed her two hot pieces of bread. "Toast my lady."
She smiled around a piece of pineapple. "Now look
who is the gourmet chef."
***
Scully poked at the fire with a long stick when
Mulder draped a blanket over her shoulders and sat
beside her. "It's cold by the water." He said
absentmindedly. Looking over at her he rubbed her
back lightly. "You ok Scully?"
She looked at him with a small smile. "Yeah." She
pulled her knees to her chest and rested her head on
them, still looking at him.
Mulder tipped his head to the side, copying her
stature, and tucked her hair behind her ear. Scully's
eyes closed at the contact. Placing his palm around
her jaw he stroked her cheekbone with his thumb.
She leaned into his touch. After a moment Mulder
laid back against the already spread blankets pulling
Scully with him. He tucked her securely against his
chest with her back to the fire. Pulling the other
blankets over both of them he stroked her back
lightly. With a contented sigh Scully fell asleep
wrapped in his arms. Sensing she had fallen asleep
Mulder rolled her away from him slightly so he could
see her face. With the back of his fingers he stroked
her cheek. Then traced her lips with the tip if his
finger. She stirred slightly and opened her eyes
sleepily. Mulder leaned down and kissed her
forehead for a long heartbeat then tucked her head
under his chin before she could see the thoughts in
his eyes. The fear. The fear that maybe the Nova
Project was in fact a hoax. Then what? Where would
they go? How would he make it up to her? Dragging
her a thousand miles through dangerous land. Who
knew what would happen? Who knew where They
were waiting? Maybe They wouldn't even bother
them. Maybe They didn't need them, didn't care
about them. But even if They didn't bother them
there were people out there, desperate people who
would do anything to find food for their loved ones.
Would do anything to ensure their safety, their future.
Mulder knew. He was one of those desperate people.
Day 5
Scully rubbed her face with her hands as she sat
down and watched Mulder gather things to make a
fire before it became too dark. Usually she would
help, but today they stopped walking early and went
slow the whole day. Scully silently cursed herself.
She had gotten her period. It didn't surprise her; it
was actually a few days late. She felt woozy and
heavy limbed. Her body couldn't handle the constant
walking, the decrease in food and blood loss. It
wasn't even bad this month, but too many factors
were against her. All she wanted to do was curl up
next to the fire and sleep for a few days.
Mulder got the fire going well and added some large
pieces of wood before sitting behind Scully slightly.
He placed his hands on her shoulders and gently
massaged away the tension of carrying the heavy
pack all day.
"You gonna tell me what's going on?"
Scully leaned back into his hands. "It's nothing
really."
"Nothing has you pale and tired?" He pressed gently.
She let out a long breath. "Woman problems."
"Ahh. I understand now." He continued to relax her
muscles.
"I'm sorry I'm slowing us down." She mumbled after
a few moments.
Mulder's hands stopped and he took her chin in one
hand and turned her to look at him. "You are not
slowing us down." He turned her whole body around
so her back was against the fire. "We'll take it easy
for another few days and then make up that time.
Summer is almost here so the days will be longer;
we'll walk more then. Ok?"
She nodded and tucked herself against his chest.
"Oh, Scully." He whispered in a heartbroken tone as
he wrapped himself around her small body. He
pressed his lips to her temple and ran his hand
through her hair as she relaxed into his safe embrace.
The fact that she let him hold her like this said a lot
about the situation. They were both tired, aching, and
most of all scared.
"Mulder?" She mumbled against his neck.
"Mmm?" He nuzzled the hair at her temple just
wanting to bury himself in her warmth and comfort.
"You think They will come for me? They can track
me with the chip."
He pulled her head from his neck, cradling her face
with his hands. "No. They wont. They already took
everything They want from you, it won't happen
again."
She gave him a strained smile. "We don't know
anything for sure." She dropped her weight back into
his arms and closed her eyes.
Day 7
"You know what I want?" Scully asked
conversationally as they walked the road, sun beating
down strongly.
"A half pound cheese burger, fries, potato salad and a
beer." He supplied quickly, his mind obviously on the
same track.
She nodded thoughtfully. "Actually I wanted some
sea food Alfredo and a glass of white wine, but I
could settle for that instead."
Mulder stopped walking and squinted into the
horizon. "Hey Scully, is that a gas station."
"Well. maybe once." She said when she saw a small
building all but collapsed.
Mulder reached over and tugged her arm. "Let's go
check it out, maybe it hasn't been completely cleaned
out yet."
Scully quickly nodded, glad for a change of plan.
"Watch out for the glass Mulder." She called once
they came to the building. But Mulder was already
occupied with searching the remains for anything
useful. She couldn't help but smile at him. He looked
like a little boy on an Easter egg hunt. Looking down
she toed through the crumbled wall and shelving
debris that covered a small area of land, only one
wall was still standing.
"I found some canned food." Mulder called over as
he shoved three cans of tuna and a can of beans into
his bag. "There's still some stuff here, it's just
buried."
Scully nodded and picked up a crushed box of
crackers, a large box of raisins and a few other items.
They poked around for at least an hour collecting
odds and ends. Including two cartoons of cigarettes
Mulder said they could probably trade something for
at some point.
"Man its hot today." Mulder looked up at the sky; it
was just turning mid afternoon. "I think we should
call it quits early."
Scully shrugged. "If you want. We can take
advantage of the warm weather and wash some
clothes, that way they'll be dry before we pack up in
the morning."
He nodded and they walked away from the station in
case anyone else walked by and went looking
through. They stopped at a lightly treed area in front
of a wide shallow part of a stream. Scully kneeled by
the edge with the pile of dirty clothes next to her and
a bar of soap in one hand as Mulder leaned a few
long branches up against a tree. As Scully washed
each article of clothing he hung it up in the sun to
dry, everything very close by incase anyone came by
and decided to try to go shopping at their makeshift
clothesline. After a moment's thought Scully stripped
down to her black panties and dark gray tank so wore
as a bra -she quickly realized that anything with a
wire was not comfortable in this new lifestyle- and
washed the clothing she wore that day. Mulder
stripped to his boxers and as she finished washing the
clothes he walked out into the water, barely reaching
his waist and fell straight back into the cool water.
Sully laughed at him when he reemerged and tossed
him the bar of soap as she hung the wet clothes up.
Cringing she stepped into water.
"Oh it's not that bad." Mulder teased and handed her
the soap as he stepped out clean and freshly shaven.
"It's freezing!" She whined.
He laughed at her and sat back on a blanket after
changing out of his wet boxers and into dry ones,
which were the only thing that wasn't wet.
Scully focused on washing herself, trying to erase the
image of Mulder's bare backside that was now
burned into her mind. She worked slowly enjoying
the opportunity to really get clean. She sat down and
dipped her head in, lathering her hair and washing it
for the first time in days. After rinsing off she sat
back for a moment and relaxed, pretending she was
in her bath with scented bubbles and a glass of wine
in her hand. After her third shiver and stood and
walked over to where Mulder was sitting next to the
small fire.
He tossed one of his tee shirts at her. "I left that for
you to change into."
"Thanks." She said walking over to hang up the
clothes she pulled off. She could practically feel
Mulder's eyes on her skin as she shed her wet tank
and panties. She pulled his shirt over her head and
almost laughed when it fell to her knees. Walking
back over to the fire she placed a few cleaned flat
rocks in the fire and then a few on the sides, building
small walls. She found a large rock to fit over the top
then dug through her bag for a box of corn bread mix.
She stirred a small amount with water then dropped
two globs on to the warmed rocks and placed the
large one on top creating a makeshift oven.
Mulder clapped his hands together. "A job worthy of
Indian guide status."
Scully smiled proudly and laid back on the blanket
next to Mulder letting the sun warm her cooled skin.
Mulder looked down at her from where he sat and
reached over tugging the shirt down her thighs
slightly.
"Showing some skin there, Scully."
She looked over at him with raised brows. Reaching
over she took his hand in hers, interlocking their
fingers. With a small tug she pulled him over so he
lay on his side, holding himself up on either side of
her on his elbows. He looked down at her with a
confused/intrigued expression. With a small sigh
Scully reached up and flicked the Nova charm and
watched it swing. One moment with would shine in
the sunlight, the next it would go dark from Mulder's
shadow. It looked like a real star twinkling in the sky.
"Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. How I wonder what
you are. Up above the world so high. Like a diamond
in the sky. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. How I
wonder what you are." She murmured still watching
the necklace. "First star of the night."
Mulder smiled down at her and pulled her own
necklace out from under her shirt. "Go ahead and
wish." He whispered.
She bit her lower lip in thought for a moment before
meeting his eyes. "Can I take a rain check?"
He gave her half a smile and nodded. "Of course."
"What about you? Any wishes?" She asked swinging
the charm once again.
Nodding slowly he said, "A few."
"Care to share?"
He gave a shy smile. "Not just yet." They were quiet
for a moment, Scully swinging his charm, him
stroking the front of her neck with his thumb. "A star
is the perfect charm for you." He said out of the blue.
She tipped her head quizzically. "That's what you
are. A star, beautiful, bright, strong and out of reach."
"I'm not out of reach Mulder." She whispered. They
locked eyes for a moment, just watching each other.
Scully wrapped her hand around the chain of his
necklace and pulled gently bringing his lips down to
hers.
The touch was soft, warm, gentle. Mulder pulled
back slightly and changed angles, pressing again in
the same way. After a long moment he pulled away
ever so slightly, his lips still resting against hers but
without pressure. Together they met for another kiss,
this one open, tongues taking soft tastes of each
other.
The kiss lasted a moment before Mulder pulled away
and pressed his face into her neck, Scully's hand still
clutching the chain.
Day 10
Mulder paused where they were on the road and
pulled out the map. "We have to take this next exit
coming up. We'll be off the water for at least a day
and a half so we better go fill up our water bottles."
Scully yawned and stretched as she nodded and
followed him down to the water.
"You want to camp here for the night?" He asked
over his shoulder after her yawn.
"No, we've cut too many days short. Might as well
keeping going."
Mulder shrugged noncommittally and flipped his bag
off his shoulders to pull out the empty water bottles.
Scully sighed and sat at the edge of the water, tucking
her legs under herself. Mulder passed her the bottles.
A slight cracking sound, nothing more then a twig
breaking in the trees behind them, and Mulder spun
with his gun drawn. Scully turned, still crouched on
the ground, pulling her gun from her side. "Drop it."
Mulder said calmly to the middle aged man standing
partly behind a tree with a knife. It was nothing more
then the kind used to cut vegetables, and it was
nothing compared to two guns. The man just starred
at both of them.
Mulder scanned the thin trees for anyone else but he
appeared to be alone. "I said drop it. Now." With a
glare the stranger dropped his knife. "Now kick it
over to me." Mulder bent to pick up the knife without
breaking eye contact with the man and tossed it into
the stream. "Now get the fuck out of here before I
shoot you." The man turned, the sound of branches
breaking echoed back. Mulder holstered his gun and
turned to Scully, placing a hand on the back of her
sunburned neck. "Almost ready?"
She nodded and splashed some cool water on her
face. She was getting worried, this wasn't the first
run in they had with someone trying to rob them. So
far their guns had gotten them out of it, and keeping a
fire burning all night kept people away. It had
worked, so far.
Part 2
Day 13
Scully arched her neck to the side as Mulder nibbled
the corner of her jaw, his hands running up and down
her sides slowly. This had become a nightly ritual;
they would kiss softly by the fire, lips always staying
above their collars, hands caressing gently over
clothes. Mulder pressed his palm over her breast.
Scully tilted her head to the side to meet him for a
kiss as he rubbed his thumb over her nipple. She
murmured slightly against his lips. Mulder moved his
mouth to her ear and suckled her lobe. With great
courage he slipped his hand under her shirt and
caressed her bare belly. After a few moments his
hand traveled upward and stroked the smooth
underside of her breast. Scully's breathing hitched.
Mulder pulled his face away from her neck and
looked at her face, her eyes were closed and lips
parted invitingly. After pressing a long kiss to her he
slipped his hand over her breast, his fingers brushing
her pebbled nipple and kneaded softly.
Scully caught a moan in her throat.
"Don't hold back, Scully." Mulder whispered as he
kneaded harder. "Let me know what you like."
She bit her lower lip but let out another moan.
Satisfied with her response Mulder suckled her neck
softly as he ran his thumb over her nipple. After
another moment Scully began to tense.
"Mulder." She whispered signaling she was
uncomfortable just by the tone.
Mulder shifted and nuzzled her temple as he slid his
hand away from her. He pulled the blankets over
them and let her get comfortable before his placed his
hand under her shirt again, only against her stomach.
"Thank you." She whispered against his neck.
"For what?"
"For not rushing anything."
Mulder smiled against her hair. "I've loved you for
seven years, I can wait for this as long as necessary."
She nuzzled his neck. "I love you too."
Day 14
Scully kicked at a stone as they walked. Mulder was
a step behind her and watched as she walked side to
side on the street to fallow the stone. She was acting
like a little girl who's mother dragged her to the
museum, finding anything else to hold her attention.
"Scully. you keep that up you'll be tired before
noon." He called with a smile to where Scully had
stopped at the corner of the road.
"Hey Mulder. Is that a baby?" She asked pointing
to a small object sitting on the edge of the grass thirty
feet away.
They walked slowly up to the bundle.
"Oh my God!" Scully took a step to pick up the
sleeping baby when Mulder grabbed her arm to stop
her.
She took a step away from him expecting him to let
her arm go. "Mulder, let me go."
He shook his head as he scanned the surrounding tree
line. "No. Come on, Scully." He tugged firmly to
bring her back onto the road.
"Mulder. We can't just leave the baby here." She
tugged her arm.
Mulder tugged back, only harder, sending Scully to
step closer to his chest. "Scully, leave it. Walk away."
She looked up at him with angry tears swimming in
her eyes. "What the fuck is wrong with you? It's a
BABY Mulder."
He let his hand slide down until it circled her wrist,
still tightly. "Scully. Please. Just come with me."
He whispered softly as his eyes screamed for her to
trust him.
Scully gave the baby a long look as Mulder tugged
her away. They walked in a tense silence for some
time before the baby began to cry. Scully turned
quickly. "Mulder. I can't." Scully trailed off as
she saw a man and woman come out from behind the
trees to retrieve the `bait' they left out. Scully
swallowed roughly as the mother picked the child up
and cooed softly. Letting out a long breath she placed
her hand over her eyes. "I'm so stupid." She
whispered.
Mulder pulled her back in the direction they were
headed before speaking. "You aren't stupid." He
wrapped his arm over her shoulders. "You are a
naturally caring and giving person. I would have
done the same thing, but I saw something move in the
trees and put two and two together." He paused for a
moment trying to organize his thoughts. He stopped
and turned her toward him. "I wouldn't leave a baby,
Scully."
"I know." She said quickly. Scully didn't say
anything else, just hung her head slightly as she
silently cursed herself. Excepting that the world had
changed so much was close to impossible. Not being
able to even think about trusting anyone but Mulder
was hard. Not speaking to anyone other then Mulder
was starting to make her feel alienated. She could
feel herself fighting a bought of depression.
Day 16
Scully lay on her back, head turned as she looked
unseeing into the flames. With a sigh Mulder lay on
his side beside her and pulled the blankets over them
to keep out the damp chill of night. Running the back
of his fingers down her cheek he asked her; "What's
wrong?"
She gave a little shrug, honestly not knowing.
Wrapping an arm around her waist he tugged her
closer to him and burrowed his face into her neck as
he stroked her side softly. Pulling herself from her
thoughts Scully turned her head and kissed Mulder
deeply, cupping his cheek with her palm. She pulled
away after a moment and ran her thumb over his
bottom lip.
Her eyes closed in contentment as Mulder pushed his
hand under her sweatshirt, then slowly under the
band of her sweat pants. He paused, just gently
combing his fingers through her course hair. She
began to swallow convulsively as his fingers moved
to brush lower. Mulder lowered his head and suckled
the curve of her throat for a moment before
whispering in her ear. "I want to touch you." She let
out a breathy gasp and licked her dry lips. "Can I
touch you Scully?" He asked licking at her ear lobe.
"Yes." She whispered. Mulder smiled against her
neck and slipped his hand lower cupping her sex
possessively. Scully let her eyes close and focused on
enjoying Mulder's touch. His fingers gently found
her bundle of nerves and massaged with a gentle
pressure, that for some reason didn't surprise Scully,
was perfect. "Just like that." She encouraged softly.
"Don't change." Mulder kissed her neck to show he
understood and that's when Scully began to imagine.
Pretending that they weren't in the middle of no
where Pennsylvania. That it wasn't a chilly forty
degrees. But that they were lying in her warm bed
with soft cotton sheets. That Mulder was touching her
in the most intimate way after a romantic candle lit
dinner at a fine restaurant, not after a dinner of plain
rice. That she was dressed in her light blue silk
camisole, and Mulder in a pair of black silk boxers,
not dirty sweats to keep the chill out. Stuck in her
fantasy Scully felt a steady release building in her
body. With as much focus as she could muster she
shoved her hand into Mulder's sweatpants and
grasped his erection. His guttural cry didn't disturb
her imaginary world as she continued to stroke him
firmly, edging on painfully. The orgasm that flooded
Scully's senses did not distract her from her search
for Mulder's release. In the moments following her,
Mulder moaned as his body released. Both fighting
for a good breath they lay close together, Scully still
lost in her own world. Where she and Mulder were
going to fall asleep warm and safe in her apartment
and wake in the morning to a satisfying breakfast and
a life that, even with it's difficulties, she desperately
wished she could return to.
Day 17
Mulder turned to Scully with his arms wide open,
displaying the land surrounding the road, a proud grin
on his face. "Welcome to New York, Scully." He
called exuberantly.
Scully shook her head with a smile and walked
towards him, plucking the map from his fingers.
Unfolding it Mulder placed a hand on her back to
guide her while she frowned at the wearing paper.
"We sill have a hell of a way to go."
Unfazed, Mulder paid little attention to her.
Still frowning Scully glanced behind her. "Have you
noticed that everyone we have passed the last few
days as been going in the opposite direction of us?"
"Yeah. They are probably moving to a milder
climate for when winter comes."
Scully was silent for a moment. "What are we going
to do if Nova is a fake?"
Not meeting her eyes, "We'll turn around."
Although the idea was having to back track was
unappealing Scully wasn't going to pass up the
chance to see Nova. She knew if she told Mulder she
didn't want to continue, if she said she thought they
should turn around and settle someplace else he
would. But that would mean crushing all the hopes he
had for them. A life when life was meant to be
destroyed. A way to live when everything was meant
to die.
Day 19
Slack jawed Scully looked at the land in front of
them. As far as they could see the land looked turned
inside out. Debris of buildings, trees, cars, even
people lay mixed with the earth. The road they
needed to follow was lost amongst the chaos.
"Mulder."
Cursing under his breath Mulder turned away and
rubbed his face with his hands.
"Mulder?" She asked softly and took a step toward
him. She could almost feel the tension and anger
radiate from him. "Hey." Reaching out she placed a
hand on his arm trying to bring him back to her.
"Fuck!" Mulder hissed and spun around. Scully
jumped away from him on reflex. He looked at her
heartbroken that she pulled away. "I'm sorry Scully."
He took two steps toward her and lightly took her
hand in his. "I didn't mean to startle you."
"It's ok." She closed the space between them and
leaned her forehead against his shoulder for a
moment.
"Now what?" She asked lifting her head to find him
scanning the horizon.
Pulling the hand he still held in his grasp. "We go
around."
"Go around? Mulder we don't know how far off we
are going to have to go."
He turned to her with a frown. "What do you suggest
we do Scully?" He held his arm out toward the
disaster they were walking by. "We certainly can't
walk through this." The anger was evident in his
voice.
"You want to turn around? Go someplace else? So
that one night we'll be sitting by the fire and then
poof! You'll be gone or dead and then what? Huh?
What do I do then?!" He dropped her hand a turned
away from her once again, breathing heavily and
choking on tears.
Scully placed her hand on his shoulder. "I'm not
leaving you Mulder."
"You said it yourself Scully; we don't know anything
for sure." He still would not look at her.
Letting out a long breath she leaned forward and
nuzzled his upper arm. "I know, for sure, that I want
to do anything possible to ensure that I won't be
leaving you. And if that means we have to walk
around this, whether it's a mile or five hundred miles,
I will do it." Picking her head up from him she turned
him toward her and held his face in her hands so that
he looked at her. "I don't want to fight with you. We
are both getting frustrated and we're tired. Let's just
keep going. As much as I hate to admit it we don't
have a choice."
Looking both ways around their obstacle Mulder
asked; "Which way?"
She shrugged. "Right?"
He nodded. "Sounds good." Taking her hand once
again he pulled her to the right.
Day 21
Scully idly watched Mulder's back as they walked
along the rough ground. The bright sun reflected off
his skin making it a challenge to continue. With
aching eyes she turned to the disaster they paralleled.
She paused her walking and studied the land.
Not hearing her footsteps Mulder stopped and turned.
"Scully? You taking a break or just like the view?"
He gestured toward the turned up earth and the
remnants of houses.
Squinting, she pointed to the horizon. "Can you see
where the ground is normal? Or I am hallucinating?"
Mulder stepped behind her and crouched to her eye
line. "I think you are right. Wanna try to cross here?"
Stretching her arms over her head she nodded.
"Might as well give it a try."
They walked in a silent concentration. Carefully
testing even ground and steering away from debris as
well as possible. Although they had more time to
think then either thought possible they barely did. It
was odd how quickly they forgot everything about
the past. They would see things that should have
reminded them of the past but it wouldn't even cross
their minds. It was useless, that was a different time,
a different life, and a different world. Nothing existed
but the present.
"Oh gross." Mulder said with disgust after walking
for at least fifteen minutes.
Scully looked up from the ground for a spilt second
to glance at him at her side. "Problem?"
"No. I just stepped in something."
"What?"
"I don't know and I have no desire to."
Scully laughed softly before they stopped at a drop
off seven feet. "Well. this is unfortunate." She said
grimly.
Chuckling, Mulder carefully hopped down, wavering
on the landing. After graining his balance he held his
arms up to Scully. "Come on jump, I'll catch you."
She snorted. "Yeah right." Reaching down she took
his hands in hers and slide down.
Mulder steadied her with his hands on her waist.
"Told you." Smiling smugly he turned and walked
on.
"That was barely a jump, Mulder."
He glanced over his shoulder at her. "I'm sorry I
couldn't hear what you said." Before she had a
chance to repeat what she knew he heard he began to
whistle.
With a smile she shook her head and took a few large
steps to be at his side. "Why I put up with you I'll
never know."
Throwing his arm over her shoulders he spoke matter
of factly. "Because you love me." Beaming he leaned
over and kissed her cheek then continued to pull her
along.
Day 24
Mulder frowned down at the map, looked up at the
road they had met with, back down at the map, again
at the road, and for good measure back at the map
once again.
Rolling her eyes Scully plucked the map from his
hand. "There's no way to tell if this is the right road
is there?"
"Well we should follow it about five miles and if we
come to a stream we have the right road. If we
don't. well we don't."
Scully passed the map back to him with distaste.
"Sounds fun."
"That's the spirit!" Mulder exclaimed throwing an
arm over her shoulders to pull her down the road with
him.
Mulder tossed a few large pieces of wood into the
fire and sat down by Scully. She turned to him with a
thoughtful expression and ran her fingertips over his
four-day beard. "Will you shave for me?" She asked
softly.
Mulder couldn't keep the smile from crossing his
lips. Nodding he grabbed his bag and pulled out the
soap and a razor as Scully brought over the pot of
water.
"Can I do it?" She asked after a moment's hesitation.
He grinned fully this time and handed over the items
then sat back on his hands with his legs out in front
of him. Scully sat down on his thighs. "I'll be
careful." She said as she worked up a thick lather in
her hands.
"I'm not worried." He said truthfully.
She gave him a small smile and spread the lather over
his face. He turned and angled his head helpfully as
she moved about his face. Wiping her hands on a
towel she picked up the razor and bit her lip in
thought. Tipping his chin with her thumb her first
shaved his neck. He lowered his head after she
finished. Scully smiled at him. "This is fun." He
laughed as she turned his face to one side. "Hold
still."
"Sorry." He mumbled as he started to caress her thigh
with one of her hands, the other still supporting him.
"But this is fun."
Once done Scully wiped his face with a damp towel.
"Viola." She sat back proudly.
Mulder rubbed a hand over his face, testing the
closeness of the shave. "Good job Scully. You can
shave me anytime."
Smiling, Scully leaned forward and kissed him softly.
He leaned back on both his hands as she wrapped her
arms around his neck. "Want to go to bed?" He
shrugged as best he could in his position. "Tired?"
Glancing at her mouth he shook his head.
He smiled smugly. "You can stop playing stupid
Scully. I know why you wanted me to shave."
She silently thanked the night so Mulder couldn't see
the extent of her blushing. Looking down she
mumbled; "You don't have to."
He laughed then shook his head with a smile. Sitting
upright he took her face in his hands. "Oh, Scully."
He kissed her deeply for a moment before shifting,
bringing them both down onto the spread blankets
with her beneath him. His fingers quickly found the
hem of her shirt and pushed under. He teased her ribs
for a moment before caressing the undersides of her
breasts. Becoming impatient Scully wiggled and
pulled her shirt over her head then tugged Mulder's
off, quickly pulling his lips back to hers. Mulder
chuckled against her mouth as he pulled at the
waistband of her pants. "Anxious, Scully?" He pulled
away enough to fully pull off her pants. When she
didn't answer he lay back against her and turned her
face so she looked at him.
"Don't be shy. I told you I want to know what you
like."
She smiled weakly and nodded.
He kissed her gently in reassurance once then moved
slowly down her body. Spending long moments on
each breast, tasting every inch of her body he could
reach. When he came to her belly button he darted his
tongue in and out massaging her thighs with his
hands, slowly lifting them apart. Mustering her
courage Scully buried her fingers in his hair.
Encouraged, Mulder placed openmouthed kisses on
the inside of her thighs feeling a slight quiver run
through her body. Slowly and gently he worked his
way to her center. With gentle kisses and strokes then
with the help of his fingers she came moaning his
name. He made his way back up her body and
stroked back her hair as she reclaimed her breathing.
Before she even opened her eyes Scully pushed down
at Mulder's pants.
"Scully...?"
Finally opening her eyes and smiled and pushed him
onto his back. Mulder let out a laugh until she took
him into her mouth. Working him with a strange
familiarity it didn't take long before he moaned out
her name. They both lay silent until the chill of the
night caused them to shiver. Scully pulled on all her
clothes while Mulder only mustered enough strength
to pull up his sweat pants. Cuddling up against his
chest Scully tucked the blankets around them to lock
out the cold reality of the world around them.
Day 28
Scully rolled away from Mulder after he gave her a
little push. She quickly wrapped the blanket around
herself to fight the chill as Mulder slowly eased off of
the blankets and into the dark. Thinking nothing of it-
he often woke to add more wood to the fire-Scully
settled herself to sleep again when she heard
scuffling, grunts and a few cries of pain. She sat
upright and looked out in the night with eyes
struggling to focus with the dim orange light of the
fire and the pale gray haze of the half moon. She
picked Mulder out amongst the trees struggling with
a man slightly larger then himself. Shoving the
blankets aside Scully grabbed her gun and flicked off
the safety. She looked up just in time to see another
man barreling towards her. Without a second thought
she raised her gun and shot him in the chest. The man
fell with a dull thud.
"Scully!" Mulder called while he struggled.
Lifting her eyes from the body a few feet in front of
her she aimed her gun at the attacker. Crouching on
her knees she followed the two trying to get a clear
shot. Knowing this, Mulder ducked down and
grabbed the man by the waist, trying to push him
away from Scully. Focusing on the blonde haired
man the best she could in the dark. The second
gunfire echoed in the night and both men fell to the
ground in a tangled heap. Scully jumped up from her
spot on the ground. "Mulder?!"
He groaned and pushed at the body laying over him.
"Are you ok?" She fell to her knees beside him.
"No." He said softly. "He stabbed me."
"Oh God. Let me see." She leaned over to check
him but he shifted away as he pressed his palm to his
upper left arm.
"Wait. Get rid of the bodies before animals catch the
scent." He leaned his back against a tree trunk feeling
woozy.
Frowning, Scully nodded and dragged both the
bodies over to the stream. The water level was still
high from spring and the current slowly but surely
dragged the men down stream after she dragged them
as close to the center as she was able. Ignoring the
cold coming through her soaked sweatpants she knelt
by Mulder again. He was leaning silently against a
tree with his eyes closed and his hand still clamped to
his arm. "Mulder? I need to you come over to the fire
so I can look at you."
He opened his eyes slowly and Scully helped him
stand on weak legs and sit again.
"Is this blood all from you?" She asked quickly
wiping away as much as she could with a towel from
his bare chest.
"I don't think so."
Scully pulled out her first aid kit. "I need to clean the
cut." She motioned for him to move his hand. She
quickly clamped hers over to replace it as the blood
flowed out. "Damn it. Mulder, that's deep." He just
nodded and leaned back against a hiking bag to
support his weight. One handed Scully pulled out a
strip of rubber truncate, tying it with the help of her
teeth. The bitter metallic taste of blood on her tongue
brought another wave of adrenaline. She keep her
hand pressed against him until she felt the hot thick
flow diminish. "You with me?" She asked softly as
she shinned a flashlight on the wound to get a better
look.
"Always." He whispered.
She glanced up at him. "Do you think the knife hit
the bone?"
"No."
"Good." She looked back down at his arm tight
lipped. "I'm going to have to stitch that up. It's
going to hurt more, I don't have anything to give you
other then some aspirin." Fumbling to open the bottle
with bloody fingers she placed three in his mouth and
held a water bottle to his lips. "Drink it all." After
half the bottle Mulder tried to turn away but she
caught his face and forced the rest down his throat.
Squeezing his hand in reassurance, Scully left to fill
the pot with water. She placed it on the fire to boil so
she was sure it
was pure. "This is going to hurt." She warned as she
readied herself to clean out the wound.
"It already does." Mulder informed quietly.
She glanced at his face only to see his eyes tightly
closed and featured twisted in pain. Holding back her
growing fears she flushed the wound. "I'm sorry. I'm
sorry." She whispered as Mulder pointlessly fidgeted
to get away from the pain. He made a strangled
pained sound as response. After cleaning the best she
was able to, Scully threaded the special needle with
stitch thread and sat beside him. "Ok I'm going to
sew it up now."
"Just do it." He mumbled bracing himself.
Nodding, even though his eyes were still closed,
Scully inserted the needle in his swollen flesh.
Mulder hissed out curses and tried to hold still as she
quickly sewed the gash. Wordlessly she cleaned the
surface with alcohol and wrapped a thick layer of
gaze over it. Finished she scooted up to his head and
took the hiking bag away, pulling his head down to
her lap. "All done." She whispered as she stroked his
hair.
Mulder nodded, breathing heavy from pain.
Scully began to rock his body gently, stroking his
bare chest, hair, neck, anywhere she could reach.
"Talk to me, Mulder." She whispered wanting him to
stay awake for a while longer.
"About what?"
"I don't know, anything.. Tell me about Nova."
He smiled softly. "Again? Scully I've told you all I
know more times then I can count."
"I don't care. I want to hear it again."
He nodded, needing a distraction from the pain.
"Ok. It's set up underground. A network of tunnels
almost. We'll have our own room. I don't really
know what it will look like. But each room has a
small fireplace, a bed, a few hurricane lamps, and a
drainage system. There's center area where a larger
fire is built. It's set up so the smoke filters up and
out, but not all in one big chimney. It separates and
diminishes out into the open. In this center area there
is a food room, every morning we have to get our
rations, everyone gets the same amount. There is a
running water system also. As much fresh water as
we need, the drainage system empties out down
stream from where the water comes in. There's also a
medical room where you will probably be spending
most of your time. Like I said everyone has to work
everyday. Whether it's out in the gardens, hunting,
keeping watch, in the food room, canning and drying
food, collecting wood, I could go on and on, it all
changes." Mulder stopped and moved his face into
Scully's touch where she rubbed his jaw with her
palm. "It's all a system." His voice slowly trailed off
to a whisper. "I can't stay awake anymore, Scully."
Scully ran her hand over his damp forehead. "Go
ahead and rest."
He gave a weak nod and turned his face into her thigh
and swiftly fell into a needed sleep.
Scully sat with him for a long time. Just rocking and
stroking him like a mother would with a sick child.
Her adrenaline wore off soon enough. With careful
movements she lay behind Mulder, curled
protectively around his head. With him nestled
against her abdomen, she fell into an anxious sleep.
Day 29
Scully woke after the sun had risen fully. She
wiggled away from Mulder after gaining her
bearings. Before even laying a hand on Mulder she
knew he had a fever. His skin was flushed and damp
to the touch.
Carefully she unwrapped his arm and cleaned it. He
murmured uncomfortably in his sleep. After
bandaging him again she went through her bag
looking for the bottle of vitamins she knew were
there. She had planed on saving them until their food
was extremely low but Mulder needed them now.
"Mulder?" She gently stroked his cheek trying to
rouse him. "Mulder, wake up."
"Mmm?" He went to turn towards her but stopped
short and cringed. With a pained expression he
opened his eyes and struggled to focus on her.
"Hey." She said softly. Moving to his head she
carefully lifted him onto her thighs. "I need you to
take some medicine." She placed the pills into his
mouth and held water to his lips. "Slow down." She
eased the bottle away slightly. Slowly he finished the
water. "Want more?"
"No." He said in a dry voice. "Lay with me." He
requested softly, letting his eyes slide shut.
Wordlessly, Scully lay on her side and pulled his
head to rest on her arm, curling herself around him
copying his protective stature in the way he often
held her at night. He let out a long breath as she
nuzzled the sweaty hair at his temple.
Scully watched him sleep throughout the day. His
fever breaking and coming back many times causing
him to stir uncomfortably. She changed the bandage
often and only woke him for a moment to drink
water.
Soon enough night caught up with Scully, bringing
with it her exhaustion and mounting frustrations.
Day 31
Mulder woke to a thick tickle in the back of his
throat. He held back the painful cough as long as he
could. But eventually he body racked with harsh
coughs leading to dry heaves. His body wouldn't give
up contracting his stomach until he rid himself of the
bitter and thick bile. After many minutes he lay
breathless and gasping and first became aware of
Scully's hand smoothing his back. He shivered
violently as she placed a damp cloth on his forehead
and rolled him onto his back, cradling his head.
Wordlessly she pressed a water bottle to his lips. He
sipped carefully, his throat dry and his mouth full of
cotton, but dreadfully afraid of another heaving
session. Finally catching his breath, Mulder opened
his eyes.
The sky was dim, hazy, dead. Knowing his voice
wouldn't cooperate he glanced questionably at
Scully.
"You've been out for a couple days now, if you were
trying to scare the shit out of me it worked." He gave
her a short apologetic smile. "There were more
bombings last night." She whispered following his
gaze to the sky. "Pretty close." She added in a softer
tone. Mulder wanted to speak. Wanted to tell her
things. But his voice box ignored his brain. "I know
what you are going to tell me." She said without
looking at him but with a slightly humorous smile.
"You are going to say for me to take the map and go
ahead without you. I bet you had the map memorized
four seconds after you got it. You're gonna say that
you will be ok. You'll rest for a few more days then
slowly make your way to Nova. But I should go
ahead without you. After all they must need a doctor
and that's what I am. You will be along. You
promise. You love me and you are doing this for me."
Finally she looked down at him, still with a smile.
"Well save it pal. It ain't gonna happen."
With a soft dry chuckle, Mulder nodded. That's what
he was going to say.
Scully leaned down a placed a light kiss on his lips.
"Can you talk?"
"No." He said with a shit-eating grin in a very hoarse
voice.
"Good." She copied his smile as she rubbed his arms
with her palms. "You talk too much anyway."
Mulder pouted out his lower lip. "I haven't said
anything for two days." He pointed out, his voice
cracking dryly every few syllables.
Scully cringed and placed her hand over his mouth as
she cleared her throat because it wouldn't help him.
"As much as I did miss your company you need to
stop talking now before I go hoarse from listening to
you."
He placed a kiss on the palm over his mouth.
With a smile she gently lifted his head off of her and
placed it on a rolled up blanket. "I want you to eat."
Mulder interrupted her with a groan. "I know you
must feel terrible but you need to. I want to give you
some pills to but I don't think they will stay down on
a empty stomach." She routed through the bags for a
moment looking for soft bland foods. Furrowing her
brow she examined the inner plastic bags of foods,
the outer cardboard disposed off long ago to save
space. "How about some Bisquick?" She asked
brightly. Mulder groaned again. "I knew you would
like it!" She prepared the dough then sat by Mulder's
side as it baked and slowly unwrapped his arm.
"How am I, doc?" He whispered.
She set to cleaning the wound. "Um. You have an
infection, not too bad. I. I did what I could but you
came down with a fever. That's why you were asleep
for a few days. I think you will be ok but we need to
stay here for a few more days so don't try to jump up
tomorrow and get going." She glared sternly at him
while he just smiled innocently.
Part 3
Day 32
"Scully?" Mulder whispered as he squinted against
the harsh glare of the hazy sky. Finding it too painful
he closed his eyes and called for Scully again, louder.
Still no answer. He knew she was here, she just
couldn't leave him. Swallowing back the pained tears
in his throat he crooked out her name as loud as he
could.
Scully rushed from where she was getting water from
the stream after hearing the desperate tone in his
voice. "I'm here, Mulder." She smoothed his hair
way from his face, feeling his hot forehead. "What's
wrong?"
Swallowing roughly, Mulder tried to move his arm.
"It hurts." He forced his eyes open and gave her a
look pleading for relief.
"Ok. Ok. Don't move." She gently unwrapped the
wound to see the red swollen flesh. "How does it
hurt?"
"I don't know." He said frustrated. "It aches."
"Alright. It's going to be ok. You're infection is
getting much better, you slept through the worst of
it." She cleaned and rewrapped trying to work
thoroughly and ignore his wordless cries of pain the
best she could.
"Squeeze my hand as hard as you can." Scully placed
her hand in his.
Holding back to scream of pain he did as she asked.
"That's good. You can let go." She flexed her now
aching fingers. "Did that make it hurt more?"
"No." He turned his head to face her, looking tired
and flushed.
"Is the pain localized? Do you have feeling in your
fingers, any tingling?" Her was attention split
between her interrogation and pouring out aspirin and
vitamins.
"Nothing other then a constant ache. Every time my
heart beats its worse."
Scully moved back to his head, lifting him gently into
her lap then placing the pills in his mouth and water
to his lips. "You'll be ok." She cooed softly. "Here,
let's get your arm up. Let me lift it." She instructed,
carefully lifting and placing his injured arm to lie
against his chest.
Mulder cringed sharply. "Can't you just hit me over
the head with a rock so I can sleep through all this?"
With a small smile, Scully leaned down and kissed
his damp forehead. "But then I will have to listen to
you complain about a head ache when you wake up."
He immediately looked hurt. He didn't want Scully to
think he was whining this. He had been turning to her
for comfort for years, not just on the medical side but
also personal. It was never an easy thing for him to
do. The common comforts of a loving person were all
but common in his family.
Cursing herself under breath Scully leaned over,
covering his upper body with hers as she caressed his
chest lightly. "I didn't mean it like that, Mulder. I
know it hurts a lot."
Swallowing his pride in favor of her care he turned
his head into her embrace to nuzzle the crook of her
neck.
Day 34
"How's this for an Indian summer?" Mulder
commented as he pulled a blanket up one handed
before settling back again.
"In youth, it was a way I had
To do my best to please,
And change, with every passing lad,
To suit his theories.
But now I know the things I know,
And do the things I do;
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you!" She carefully tucked the
blankets around Mulder's arm then lay down next to
him with a smile.
"Thank you Miss Parker." Mulder chuckled softly as
he waited for Scully to settle. Turning his head he
gave her a soft smile. "I do like you so."
"Well you better, cause you're stuck with me.. I've
always like that poem." She rolled onto her side and
regarded him seriously. "What about you? Any
favorites?"
Nodding, Mulder struggled to remember all the
words;
"How do they do it, the ones who make love,
without love? Beautiful as dancers,
gilding over each other like ice-skaters
over the ice, fingers hooked
inside each other's bodies, faces
red as steak, wine, wet as the
children at birth whose mothers are going to
give them away. How do they come to the
come to the come to the God come to the
still waters, and not love
the one who came there with them, light
rising slowly as steam off their joined
skin? These are the true religious,
the purists, the pros, the ones who will not
accept a false Messiah, love the
priest instead of the God. They do not
mistake the lover for their own pleasure,
they are like great runners: they know they are alone
with the road surface, the cold, the wind,
this fit of their shoes, their over-all cardio-
vascular health- just factors, like the partner
in the bed, and not the truth, which is the
single body alone in the universe
against its own best time."
After a moment Scully swallowed around her closed
throat. "Mmm. Sharon Olds?"
"Very good." Mulder was truly impressed. "`Sex
without Love'. I'm surprised I remember the words."
"Well. They are pretty memorable." She said with a
slight blush.
Mulder laughed softly. "You look so cute when you
blush."
This caused her to blush even more. "Shut up
Mulder." She mumbled and moved closer to him. She
rested her head on the shoulder of his uninjured arm
and wrapped one of hers over his waist.
"Night Scully." He said still laughing as he placed a
kiss on her forehead.
Day 37
There were no two ways about it; Mulder was going
stir crazy.
And Scully was ready to kill him. "Mulder stop that."
He looked away from where he was poking at her
freshly made fire with a long stick. "Why?"
"Because you are going to knock over the wood and
then I'll have to start it again." She turned back to the
clothes she had just washed and began to wring them
out to dry.
"Don't worry Scully, I won't mess up your pretty
fire." He turned to stick from the fire and poked
Scully in the butt with it, leaving a soot mark on her
right cheek.
"Mulder!" She batted it away and turned to him with
her hands on her hips. "Are you trying to drive me
crazy?"
"No not at all, it is just a added benefit." Reaching
out he poked her belly lightly. Scully grabbed the
stick strongly so he couldn't jab her anymore. "Ooo,
Scully." He said slyly. "Your grip is so firm."
"Oh brother." Scully released her hold and walked far
enough away that he couldn't touch her with it.
"Hey! Where're you going?" Mulder called with a
dramatically hurt tone. "Are you going to leave poor
injured me all alone?"
Raising her eyebrows she turned toward him. "I
thought you were all better? I believe your words
were; `Scully, I don't want to sit around here wasting
time. I'm fine, I don't need my arm to walk.' Then I
said; `Yes but you need your arm to carry your bag
even if I put the heavy things in mine.' Then you
gave me that damn puppy dog look and I said ok."
Mulder grinned smugly. "That look always works on
you."
Scully quickly walked back over to him and knelt by
his side, suddenly serious. "Mulder I really want to
you take it easy. You've got nothing to prove to me. I
know you want to get going, I do to. But if you push
yourself and get hurt we will just end up waiting
longer. Ok?"
He cupped her chin in his good hand, his other laying
gently against his chest in a makeshift sling. "I
promise. Stop worrying Scully, you're gonna go gray
at this rate."
She frowned. "I'm surprised I haven't after seven
years with you."
Mulder couldn't help but smile. "I'm not that bad."
Scully gave him her `yeah right' look, raised brows
and all. "Ok so I am that bad."
Scully moved away and added large pieces of wood
to the now steady fire. "Damn right."
Day 39
"Is it something blue?"
"Mulder, why are you stuck on asking color? And no,
that's question number 18. Two to go."
Mulder frowned in deep thought. He was horrible at
the game Twenty Questions. "Is it something you are
wearing?"
"Yes! Finally you got one right."
"Ok. So it's something small, important and you
are wearing it." He walked backwards and examined
her. "Well it's not your bra because that isn't small."
"Mulder!"
He laughed, proud of himself. "I just wanted to see
you blush. Ok. I've got one question left." He
focused all his investigative skills on her five foot
something frame. Suddenly he smiled smugly. "Your
necklace?"
Scully sucked in an unsure breath through her teeth.
"Which one?"
His smile quickly faded. After a moment he shook
his head. "I don't know."
Reaching under her shirt Scully pulled out the Nova
charm. "I figure this one is more important at the
moment."
Mulder turned back around, much to Scully's relief.
Regarding her form his position beside her, "I don't
know if that's true Scully, your religion has always
been important to you. If you didn't have faith you
wouldn't be able to carry on."
She thought in silence for few moments. "In all the
time we have been walking I haven't prayed once.
The last time I did it was when we were still in the
car."
"What did you pray for if you don't mind my
asking?"
Scully watched her feet with great focus. She
remembered what she prayed for; her mother, her
brothers, the world in general, that her and Mulder
would be safe, that Nova would be real, that They
wouldn't find them, that They wouldn't even look for
them. Her worst fear has been that They would start
to look for them, tracking her with the chip. She
would take in out in a heartbeat to save Mulder,
knowing he wouldn't leave her willingly. But if she
did take the chip out she would die. Probably within a
few months. She didn't want to die. She prayed that
she wouldn't die. Even with her life being turned
upside down she did not want to die.
"That everything would turn out ok." She whispered
after many minutes in silence.
Smiling, Mulder bumped her shoulder lightly with
his. "It will be. Eventually. I think as long as you
have faith we can get through this."
"But the thing is.. I don't have faith in God."
Mulder looked at her sharply. "I don't. Not at this
time."
"But you have faith?" Mulder was quickly becoming
confused.
"Yes." She answered immediately. "But my faith is in
you now. I've always had faith in you Mulder. But
now. now that you've done all this for me. Now my
faith is in your hands."
Day 41
"Mulder." Scully looked up at the darkening sky.
"It's going to rain."
"It's ok, our bags are water proof. We need to keep
walking, we are really far behind." It was simple:
Mulder was pissed at himself. They had to walk
slowly, stop often, and poor Scully was carrying
much more then half her weight on her back. Every
time he tried to speed up his arm would begin to ache
and Scully would make him stop. He had never been
able to keep anything from her. And she had been
watching him carefully, noticing every cringe and
missed step. Probably filing them in her mind in
order of degree of pain and length of time between
such events.
Scully frowned up at the big clouds. "I know, but
after all the bombings I doubt the rain will be clean.
Can we please just stop and find somewhere to wait
out the storm? I really don't like the idea of what ever
nuclear waste and acid falling on our heads."
Mulder ran a hand down her arm, she sounded so
worried. "Ok. Lets keep walking and we'll look for
something for the night. We don't want to stay too
close to the trees."
"Thank you." She said visibly relieved.
They walked for fifteen more minutes before they
came to remains of a building that would provide
some shelter; two of the walls were completely
destroyed but the roof was partly intact. They
normally didn't stay in old buildings, too many
people could run into them.
Scully slowly eased Mulder's bag from his shoulders.
"Sorry." She murmured as he cringed when she
carefully placed his arm back in the sling. "I'll get
some wood, why don't you get out the blankets."
Within ten minutes they were sitting by a small fire
as Scully mixed water with a can of chicken soup.
The rain started to fall with a heavy patter, a cold
breeze came into their little home.
"Of course we have to be facing the wind." Mulder
mumbled as Scully settled next to him handing him
his soup.
"Well at least we won't get too wet."
They ate in silence and watched as the lightening
started off in the distance. The increasing wind kept
the fire to a minimum, the damp air was not helping
the chill.
Setting their dishes aside, Scully moved closer to
Mulder.
"Cold?" Without waiting for her answering nod he
pulled her back against his chest and looped his good
arm around her belly. "The sky looks so different."
He whispered in her ear.
"I know. I think the bombs have effected the ozone.
The sun is so much stronger. And sometimes the
wind changes, like now, doesn't it feel different."
Mulder nodded in her hair. "Yeah. I don't know what
it is but you are right." With a small sigh he pulled
her closer and kissed her neck.
A tingle of excitement ran down Scully's spine. She
arched her neck, encouraging him. Mulder quickly
pushed the stray hairs away with his nose and placed
soft opened mouthed kisses on the curve of her neck.
A happy murmur left her throat as she reached back
and buried a hand in his hair. With an awkward hand
Mulder turned her cheek so he could kiss her lips.
She smiled against mouth and twisted to face him,
without breaking contact. Being careful of his arm
she pushed him down onto his back.
One handed Mulder unbuttoned her jeans and slipped
his hand into her heated folds as she pulled at his
waistband and gripped his sex at the same time. "Still
cold?" He asked softly as he pressed a finger up into
her body.
Biting her lip she shook her head and smiled.
Because he couldn't with only one hand she pulled
down both of their pants only to the needed amount.
Awkwardly she settled by his side struggling to find
an angle so he could keep his hand on her but not
lean on his injured arm.
Not that it mattered. Mulder couldn't feel anything
but Scully's hand around him. Determined to bring
Scully over the edge with him he sped his pace up on
her body. With a small whimper Scully buried her
face in his neck and clenched around his fingers.
Mulder quickly followed in a choked gasp.
After a few moments Scully helped him redress then
pulled the blankets around them both. Mulder quickly
fell into a deep sleep. But not Scully. She laid awake
for a long time, watching the lightening, listening to
the thunder around them and Mulder's heart under
her ear.
Day 42
Scully ran her brush through her damp hair noticing
she needed to trim it. She only had a small mirror that
she happened to grab when packing, which was
probably for better so she didn't notice the extent of
the changes in her body. She knew she had lost
weight, but she had also added muscle. And it
seemed every time she did look in the mirror she was
dirty, even though she washed at least twice a day.
She just felt different. Like she did while fighting her
cancer. She felt like herself, only altered.
They both had changed. Mulder had become so much
more open with her. Not hiding his feelings behind
jokes. She felt more comfortable with him then ever
before. But she had forced herself to open up to him,
it wasn't as hard as she thought it would be.
She looked over at him. Mulder needed a trim also
she noticed as he dozed beside her. Reaching over
she ran her hand front and back of his head, the damp
strands standing on end. He stirred slightly from her
caress but did not wake.
She didn't bother to wake him this morning. It was
still raining and he needed his rest. It bothered her
that he pushed himself so hard after being injured.
He's chased bad guys with bumps, bruises and
sprains more times then she could count. Willingly
letting scientists drill holes into his head, other
numerous head injures-not all by his choosing. The
one that always came to mind was brain surgery by a
certain smoking friend of theirs. He seemed to have a
tendency to be near bombs as they ticked closer and
closer to zero. He managed to drive recklessly and
barely miss head collisions, people, buildings, even
an airplane or two. She wasn't sure how many times
he'd been shot. His list went on and on.
Her list wasn't much better. Cancer, numerous
kidnappings, the target of mutants and madmen
alike. She stopped thinking about that. It didn't
matter. It just really didn't matter now.
With a sad sigh she placed her hand back into his
hair, caressing his scalp with her fingertips. A slight
hum came from his throat.
Scully smiled softly at his sleeping form. She worried
about him more then he could ever realize. He was
constantly thinking of her safety before his own. She
loved him for that. No one had ever put her first as
much as he did. It still amazed her, after almost seven
years of knowing he cared, that he could care that
much. But sometimes he just didn't think before he
acted. As much as she loved him, she could hate him
at the same time. Always leaving her behind for `her
own good'. She whole heartily believed he thought
that was what he was doing. But it didn't make it any
easier. Strangely enough, every time he did
something crazy thinking it was right, she loved him
a little more. Maybe it was because it made the fact
that she could loose him any moment clearer. Or
maybe it was just that she loved him and he gave her
a reason to think about the fact. Three years ago she
started to think about it constantly. So it took the
destruction of the world for her to realize it. Maybe it
was a small price to pay for this important insight:
time was up, live life now or die regretting what she
didn't have the guts or opportunity to do.
Mulder opened his eyes and smiled up at her sleepily.
"Hey."
She returned his smile and caressed his hair more.
His eyes closed at the contact and he leaned into her
touch. "It's still raining." She informed looking out
into their dark surroundings.
"Mmm." He mumbled, too content with her attention
to care.
She let out a soft ironic laugh. At the moment he was
fine with it, but when he was fully awake and in a
few hours restless he would think differently. But for
the moment she didn't care either. She was happy to
sit by his side, in the cold damp air, in the bitter wind,
in a destroyed building, in the chaos this world had
turned into and just be alive.
Part 4
Day 45
Scully sat straight up with a gasp. Her head spinning,
turning her stomach violently. Scanning the
surrounding trees she was only met with orange
tinted darkness.
"Scully?" Mulder, awoken by her sudden movement,
touched her arm lightly.
She couldn't speak. The visions in her head where
still too fresh. Her head pounded, her eyes were still
teary and her heartbeats echoed insanely loud in the
silence of the night.
"You're trembling." Gently he pulled against him. He
held her silently for a few moments, letting her catch
her breath, catch her mind. "A dream."
Scully nodded against his chest even though it was a
statement, not a question.
"Want to talk about it?"
She pinched her eyes closed. The dream replayed in
her mind. The trees bursting into flames around them.
The eyeless men coming straight to them, ready to
kill them. Maybe if they had eyes they would see.
Would see that she and Mulder where people, with
hopes, who felt love, people who didn't want to die
just yet. Or maybe their eyes wouldn't be like normal
eyes. Maybe that would be black and hollow. Like
the eyes of a shark. No feelings. Just a job nature, or
whoever, gave them. Scully felt her body shake more
at the remembrance of watching Mulder burn beside
her. Reaching his hand out in a desperate plea for
help. But she couldn't move to him. Her body was
frozen, wishing to wrap her arms around his body
and burn with him. His last words a choked
confession of undying love.
Mulder hugged her closer to him, feeling a shudder
run through her.
"No." Her answer was delayed and barely audible.
Mulder didn't ask again. Slowly he lowered her back
down onto the blankets. He held her for a long time
before he felt her finally relax and fall back into
sleep. He lay awake a while longer. Watching over
her, just in case the dream returned once her
consciousness relaxed. Nightmares are tricky like
that, he learned. They can sneak up on you when you
least expect it and when you least need it. Why have
a nightmare when you are living one in slow motion?
Day 47
"You ok, Mulder?"
He glanced at her from her side. "Yeah, why?"
"You've just been so quiet today."
With a shrug he leaned down and picked up a small
gray stone off the road. He tossed it in the air a few
times. "Just thinking."
"What about?" Scully reached over and took the
stone Mulder was offering her.
He gave another shrug and watched Scully finger to
smooth rock. "It's amazing how everything in our
lives, how important or unimportant led to this." He
paused and shook his head. "It's just odd. That no
matter what we did, I'm not saying what we did was
pointless mind you, but everything we did. didn't
change a thing."
Scully thought for a moment. "I suppose its possible.
But if that's true then its also possible that everything
we did do, no matter how small, did make a
difference. Maybe if lets say we didn't go on a
certain case or speak with a certain contact that this
would have happened sooner. Or later, anything is
possible. "
"Gosh Scully, I wasn't talking about that kind of
stuff, I was just thinking that I wouldn't have paid
taxes this year if I knew."
"Taxes aren't important?" She asked playing along
with his sudden change in mood. They barely stayed
on depressing topics for too long. That seemed
pointless, there was nothing they could do about it so
there was no reason to dwell.
Mulder paused a step to kick at a break in the
pavement. "Well our government is doing a shitty job
of taking care of the roads."
"I'll write a letter to our council man immediately."
She said deadpan.
Day 48
Scully cradled Mulder's head on her chest as he
dozed lightly. There was something soothing about
his breath between her breasts, his arm around her
waist and his weight grounding her. Perhaps it was
her unused reserve of maternal instinct that enjoyed,
even needed this. Keeping him safe and comfortable
made her feel that same way. Her body was relaxed
and felt light, his hair tickled her chin, his heartbeat
pressed up against hers.
Scully fought sleep.
She really didn't know why. Maybe she was too
content with this quiet moment. The sun had set not
long ago, leaving the sky a hazy red. The air was still
warm from the afternoons rays. Everything was quiet.
Scully's motion stopped on Mulder's body, causing
him to drift away from his slumber slightly, as she
listened.
"Mulder?" She questioned softly as she slid the hand
from his hair down to cup his jaw, turning his head
up to her. "Why is it so quiet?"
"It's night time Scully." He mumbled before buring
his face back in the front of her shirt.
She wiggled out from under him, ignoring his groan
of disappointment. "I'm serious Mulder, I don't hear
anything. No wind, no birds, nothing."
Mulder rubbed his eyes to rid himself of the last
reminisce of sleep. "Ok I'll admit it. It is early calm
but that doesn't mean anything."
Starring up at the sky she drew her knees up to her
chest. "No, it does mean something. Last time there
were bombings, when you were unconscious, it was
like this before."
Mulder took a deep breath, he had nothing to say to
that. There was nothing they could do but wait it out.
He was about to reach for Scully when an
indescribable noise filled the air, the ground shook,
the sky turned black with upturned earth and the air
turned heavy and thick with dust.
The noise ended just as soon as it came.
The fire was snuffed out by the useless air. They both
choked on that same air. A ringing filled their ears,
their eyes stung, their throats burned.
For a long time all they could do was sputter and wait
for the air to clear enough to see.
Finally the thick brown settled into a dim haze.
"Are you ok?" Mulder asked hoarsely as he slid
closer to Scully.
Still coughing dryly she nodded. "That was really
close."
Mulder pulled the front of his t-shirt up and wiped
away the dirt from his face. He quickly added wood
to the fire, catching on the burning embers. He then
collected their bags which had tumbled away slightly
from the shaking. He brushed the dirt from the
blankets and pulled Scully back down with him.
"What were they bombing?" She asked after many
moments of tense silence.
"I don't know." He whispered placing a kiss on her
forehead. "It's ok, just get some sleep."
She tried to let the day's exhaustion take her over as
she burrowed into Mulder's warmth. But they both
lay awake ready for another explosion. Ready for it
all to be over in a moment.
The Big Bang theory started the world, a whole other
bang could take them out.
Day 49
Mulder absentmindedly glanced up at the sky as they
walked. It had barely cleared enough for the sun to be
more then a brighter area in the haze. With a sigh he
looked over at Scully beside him. His stomach
immediately twisted sickly, his throat closed up.
"Scully!"
She quickly spun to look at him. "What?"
"You. you're bleeding."
Without breaking from his panicked eyes she placed
a hand over her top lip, under her nose. A thin line of
crimson marred her index finger when she pulled her
hand away. "Oh." She wiped at her face a few more
times and shook her head. "It's just from the dry air.
It-it's not anything other then that."
"Scully." He said softly, taking a step toward her.
"No!" She stepped back and held up her bloody hand.
Causing them both to cringe. She quickly wiped
away the blood onto her dirty jeans. "It's nothing
Mulder. I'm fine." She wiped her face a few more
times and walked ahead of him not daring to look
into his eyes. She didn't want to see the same fear she
was feeling.
Part 5
Day 49
Words had been sparse that day.
The fear that clutched Mulder's stomach was eating
him alive. He watched Scully carefully all day. It was
making her angry but he couldn't help himself. He
was reliving the worst moments of their lives all over
again.
Mulder sat down heavily by the fire. He shivered
from the cold water he had just washed the day's dirt
off with despite the warm flames.
Wordlessly Scully sat beside him with her back to the
fire drying her hair.
After watching her struggle with keeping the blanket
wrapped around her nude body and fluffing her hair
with one of her hands for a minute before Mulder slid
closer to her. "I don't like it when we aren't talking."
He said bluntly as he pushed her hand away and ran
his finger through her damp hair, slowly heating with
from the fire. "I especially dislike it when I don't
know why we aren't talking."
"We aren't talking because we don't have anything to
say that won't upset each other." Her voice was soft,
apologetic and forgiving at the same time.
Mulder nodded then remained silent for a moment
while he chose his next words carefully. "Do you
really believe it isn't the cancer coming back?"
"There is no reason to think that it would be back. I
have been in perfect health ever since the chip.
Unless that is malfunctioning." With a sigh she
leaned her head against Mulder's shoulder. That
simple gesture spoke volumes. The day of silence
was over. "It was the dry air Mulder. My throat and
eyes still burn, yours too. That's what is was. It has to
be."
Mulder moved away now that her hair was dry and
faced her. "You better dress before you catch a cold."
He said softly, as he ran his hand down her shoulder
over the blanket.
Scully watched him for a moment before shaking her
head slowly. Upon Mulder's quizzical look she
dropped the blanket so it pooled around her waist and
leaned forward running her hands over his still bare
chest, letting her hands rest on the waistband of his
boxers. "I want to be with you."
A fist of arousal wrapped its self around Mulder's
body. He opened his mouth to speak but his nothing
came out for a moment. "I thought you wanted to
wait."
Scully let out a curt laugh. "Wait for what?" Without
letting him answer she slid forward and took his face
in her hands. "It's just you and me now Mulder.
We've got nothing to do but keep walking. There is
nothing we can do to fix the world, we don't even
know how much longer the world with be here." She
quickly swallowed back tears. "I want to live the
moment."
Mulder nodded as he cupped her jaw in a gentle hand
and pulled her lips against his.
Day 52
Mulder woke slowly. The sun was beating down on
his face, warming one side while the other was being
warmed by the soft warm cotton covering Scully's
belly. Lazily he rolled onto his back and looked up at
the finally cleared sky. After a few moments of
watching the clouds drift by he sat up and looked
down at Scully.
She looked breathtaking. Her hair spread out beside
her, her lips open slightly, her cheeks flushed with
sleep. Painfully innocent.
Silently Mulder cursed himself. He knew this would
happen. He knew the moment they made love his
urge to protect her would intensify. He had kept
himself in check so far, but with this past week's
cancer scare he was ready to burst inside. But if he let
it out Scully would be angry. He knew she could take
care of herself, there was no question in his mind.
But there was something about being inside her that
made him was to wrap her in his arms and carry her
to Nova. God he hoped Nova would be there.
Something about making love with her that made him
want to take her away from every bit of pain. He
knew they weren't making life in the traditional
sense. He accepted that. It broke his heart but he
accepted it. But they were making their life together
by being together. Scully was right, it's all they have
now.
Scully shifted slightly and opened her eyes. "Good
morning." She said softly while smiling up at Mulder.
He nodded with a small smile and brushed her hair
away from her face.
Day 55
Scully stomach rumbled loudly. She pressed her palm
against her belly and continued walking.
They were down to one meal a day. One small meal.
Scully was thankful though. Mulder shot a rabbit the
other day. It was just plain luck. He happened to be
sitting by the water washing clothes when the animal
hopped close by. Scully never thought she would eat
rabbit. She couldn't eat veal, for some reason it
seemed wrong to her. But she had never tasted
anything as good as that fresh meat, at least nothing
that good lately.
But that had only been one large meal for them, it
would have been more but they had no way to keep
the meat. Now they were down to a few cans of food,
some pasta and a little bread mix.
Swallowing a gulp of water Scully rubbed her
stomach again while she looked aimlessly around the
road.
"Hey Mulder. Look." Scully reached down and
picked a few dandelions from the grass. She handed
half to Mulder. "You know you can eat every part of
a dandelion? Even the root."
"I think I did hear that." He said as he chewed the
bitter plant.
They didn't taste very good. And there wasn't much
to the pant. But it gave them something to do as they
walked along the mostly quiet road.
Day 57
Scully rubbed her tired eyes as Mulder looked at the
map for a moment. She honestly didn't know why he
looked at it. He had a perfect picture of it in his mind.
"Hey Scully."
"Mmm?" She asked around a yawn.
"We're in Canada." Mulder smiled happily at her.
She looked at him for a moment in shock. "Already?"
He nodded. "We've been walking eighteen hours a
day lately. It paid off." Ever since Mulder's arm
healed enough they walked. They walked as long as
they could. Only stopping when it was too dark and
became unsafe, and starting at sunrise when they
woke. Walking helped keep their minds off the
hunger and fear.
She looked around in amazement. Most of the road
signs had fallen with the last bombing making it
difficult to follow the roads without looking at the
map often. "How much longer until we reach Nova?"
He stared uncertainly at the map for a moment.
"Hopefully ten days or so." Carefully he folded the
map and put it back into his pocket.
Scully took his hand in hers and pulled him along.
"Well lets keep walking then."
For the first time in a many weeks she felt some
hope.
Part 6
Day 57
"Who knew Canada could be so hot." Mulder
mumbled.
Scully nodded in agreement as she pushed tree limbs
out of her way.
Once in Canada there wasn't any main roads to take.
Everything was poorly marked and overgrown with
brush. It was difficult walking with rocks and uneven
ground in some places. They had to move around
newly fallen trees from the bombings.
It was hot.
And humid.
Mulder wanted nothing more then to sit down with a
cold beer and forget about all this for ten minutes.
But that wouldn't get him away from the heat, and he
didn't have a beer, much less a cold one.
If Mulder had to choose between that cold beer and
real food, the food would win out in a second. They
only had two days of food left. A couple weeks of
vitamins, but those only did so much.
But it was better not to think about it, so they didn't.
They just walked.
"I'm taking a break." Scully announced then
immediately sat down in the shade.
"I'm not going to complain." With a yawn and a
stretch Mulder sat beside her and leaned against a
large tree. They sipped water in silence for a few
moments before Mulder looked over at Scully in
thought. She looked tired, stressed and bored. He
continued to watch her silently as she recapped her
water and tipped her head side to side, cracking and
popping away tension. He tried not to smile as she
stretched her arms over her head with a groan.
Suddenly Mulder reached out and grabbed her waist.
Ignoring her shriek of surprise he pulled her into his
lap and tickled her through her damp t-shirt.
"Mulder! Stop!" She forced out around laughter,
trying to push herself off of him.
Mulder danced his fingers along her sides
relentlessly. It was wonderful to see her laugh. He
was never able to often. Their lives have always been
busy and hard. It was the still the same, but he
wanted happiness added to that equation.
Scully finally managed to tear herself from his grasp,
causing her to tumble off his lap and onto the dirt.
With a smug grin Mulder stood and pulled his bag
on. "Well. we better get moving."
Scully squinted up at him from where she still sat on
the ground pulling her bag on. "You gonna help me
up?" She held out a hand expectantly.
"Well I guess so." Nonchalantly Mulder leaned down
and took her hand. With a sharp tug he pulled her up
and over his shoulder.
"Mulder!" Scully's yell was muffled by his hiking
bag. Desperately she kicked her feet.
"Hold still young lady." Mulder scolded easily
holding her legs down with his forearm.
"Mulder! I'm serious! Put me down."
Mulder walked along the tiny path. "If you are so
serious why are you laughing?"
Realizing Mulder wasn't going to give up, Scully did.
She dropped all her weight against him making him
work to carry her. "Fine, if you won't put me down I
might as well enjoy the ride." Folding her arms she
rested them on the top of his bag, then lay her head
on them and closed her eyes. The up down motion of
Mulder's stride was relaxing.
Day 59
Scully wiped the sweat from her brow as she walked
silently behind Mulder down the narrow path. It was
hot, she was hungry, and it was barely noon. The day
didn't look promising.
A painful ache settled in her belly. Scully suddenly
felt cold despite the heat in the air. She paused her
stride and pressed the heels of her hands to her
temples as a high pitched ringing sounded in her ears.
Her vision became spotty and darkened.
She watched silently as Mulder took a step away
from her. Two steps. Three.
She wanted to say something to him, tell him she
needed to rest. But her head spun and her mind
wouldn't focus long enough for the sound to travel
from her throat out her mouth. The last of her focus
was spent on putting a hand to her nose, she pulled it
away. She saw only sweat covered fingers, no blood.
That relief only lasted a moment before she wavered
helplessly on her feet.
Four strides away. Five. Six.
Mulder, not hearing Scully's answering footsteps,
turned around. "Scully?" She was pale and shaking
slightly. His six easy strides of distance was
recovered in two long steps to her. "Scully!" He
caught her around the waist just as her knees gave
out. "I've got you, it's ok." He said softly as he
lowered her to the ground.
He gently pulled her bag from her shoulders then laid
her on the ground. After wrapping her in a blanket he
sat her up with her back to his chest. Running his
fingers through her hair he spoke softly to her.
"Come on, Scully. Come on back to me." He pleaded
gently.
Slowly Scully was able to focus on his voice and not
the ringing in her head. Lolling her head back she
kissed his neck lazily in a silent reply that she was
ok.
Letting out a long breath Mulder squeezed her tightly
and let her relax a while longer before speaking.
"What happened?"
Scully shrugged the blanket off and turned to him. "I
don't know." Shaking her head she ran her hand over
her face. "I think the heat is getting to me."
Mulder frowned. He didn't know what to say or do
that wouldn't upset her. "Let's stay for a while
longer."
He said tentatively as he handed her water.
She nodded. "A few more minutes. I'll be ok. I feel
better now."
A knot of anger settled in Mulder gut. "No. I want
you to rest."
"I will, for a few more minutes." She repeated
meeting his angry gaze with her own.
He rubbed his face with his hands in an attempt to
erase some of the frustration he felt. "Scully please."
He got up onto his knees in front of her. Begging, out
right begging. "Please. I'm worried, can you lay
down for a little longer?"
Scully's first reaction was be yell at him. Tell him
she was fine, even though she knew she should rest
for a bit longer. She hadn't fainted in a years. She
wanted to be mad at him, part of her was. It was
always so much easier to be angry with him instead
of herself. But seeing the way he put the anger and
frustration away for straight out concern made her
think twice.
"We don't have the luxury of sitting, Mulder."
He nodded and took her hand, pulling her down with
her head pillowed on his thigh. "Close your eyes and
take it easy for a little while, then we will start
walking again. Just a little while."
"I'm not tired." She mumbled at him. She wasn't, she
was hungry and hot, but not tired.
"You don't have to sleep, you just have to rest."
Scully jumped at the sensation of something cool and
moist on her neck. Mulder shushed her and continued
to run the damp cloth over her exposed arms, her
neck, her forehead.
Despite not being tired Scully was easily lulled into a
calm half sleep state.
Day 62
"Mulder, get off of me it's too hot." Scully mumbled
and pushed him off of her shoulder where he had
placed his hand
The sun had gone down a few hours ago but the air
was still heavy and the fire, lit only for safety, was
not helping.
He batted her hands away when she tried to push him
away. "I'm trying to help you." He informed helping
her pull her shirt over her head.
"Thank you, but I think I can handle washing
myself." She stripped off the rest of her clothes
perfectly aware of him starring at her.
Mulder grabbed the towel and water from her hands.
"Yes, I know you can. But won't it be more fun if I
do it?"
Scully bit the inside of her cheek in an attempt not to
smile, it didn't work.
Returning her smile, Mulder moved behind her and
washed the sweat and dust from her pale skin. Once
finished her laid her down onto the blankets and
washed her chest and arms.
"I think you are favoring certain body parts over
others, Mulder." Scully accused good naturedly since
the focus was on her breasts.
Mulder only smiled knowingly, her voice was light
and airy as he traveled down her body. He bypassed
her midsection, going straight to her feet.
Scully let released a low groan of approval as he
massaged the soles of her feet with him thumbs.
Mulder continued until he felt she had relaxed
completely into his hands before moving to her
calves. He cleaned and massaged the tight muscles all
along her legs until he reached her inner thigh.
Scully slowly became aware, within her relaxed haze
of arousal, that Mulder's hands were gone. "Are you
stopping?" She whispered without opening her eyes.
"Just for a minute."
Cracking her eyes open the bare minimum she saw
Mulder. His back was to her as he washed the day's
grime off of himself. With a soft sigh of anticipation
Scully closed her eyes again and waited for him.
A few moments later Mulder settled himself on his
side next to Scully, pressing the length of his body
against hers. Leaning down he kissed the underside
of her chin and stroked a hand down her body. With
his fingers buried in her heat he settled himself on
claiming her mouth with deep thorough kisses.
Scully returned his attentions on her as well as she
was able, but his strong skilled fingers continued to
distract her. Finally, she gave up trying to keep up
with him and relaxed into the sensations. Closer and
closer she came to release. Mulder brought her right
to the edge then eased up, avoiding stroking her
sensitive nub or working his fingers into her body.
He stroked her gently, bringing her down but not far
from where she wanted to be.
Opening her eyes sleepily, Scully looked up at
Mulder. He smiled down at her look of annoyance
and kissed her softly.
In a wordless invitation Scully opened her legs.
Without breaking eye contact Mulder settled down
against her. She happily wrapped her arms around his
neck, holding his familiar and comfortable weight to
her body.
They closed their eyes in unionism as Mulder sank
into her body. Warmth radiated through Scully's
body as she kept her eyes closed and Mulder began to
move in relaxed strokes. Welcoming his body into
hers Scully bent her legs around him.
The warmth that built in Scully increased, along with
her heart rate and breathing. Times like this she
found it easy to accept the world as it was now. She
could pretend it had always been like this. She never
had a job, or a house, or a family outside of Mulder.
That the ones who were destroying the world around
them for only God knows why never took her away,
never took her life force, never destroyed part of her.
Scully let the heated ripples of pleasure take her away
from the memories of what life was once.
Mulder nuzzled the side of her face until she opened
her eyes and focused on him in the firelight. Half his
body glowed with orange warmth, the other half lost
in the shadows of the night. He was a living eclipse
over her, the Nova charm swinging gently in the
firelight with his motion.
Scully struggled to keep her eyes focused on his as
the fire inside her consumed them both. With breathy
calls of the others names they relaxed spent against
each other.
When the focus returned to Scully she dropped her
legs from his waist, wove one hand into his hair and
soothed his back with her other. Mulder rested his
head on her collarbone, his arms around her waist,
still inside her body.
After many moments of silence he shifted, rolling
onto his back and pulling Scully onto his chest as he
struggled to pull a light blanket over them.
"We should get there any day now." Scully
whispered as she toyed with the charm low on
Mulder's neck.
His only response was to bury a hand in her hair and
place a kiss on her forehead, leaving his lips to rest
there.
"What do we do once we get there?" Scully asked
after long moments of silence. She carefully wrapped
the chain around her index finger, watching the silver
catch the orange light of the fire.
"Doesn't say."
Scully glanced up at him with worry. They had
nothing more to go on other then what Mulder had
been told about Nova which wasn't much at all. But
without the idea of Nova they had nothing.
"We just have to walk until Nova finds us."
Letting out a long breath Scully looked back at he
small charm now settled into the palm of her hand.
Turning her hand over she trapped the star between
her hand and Mulder's heart.
Day 63
Scully was her usual two steps behind Mulder on the
small dirt road. Their order of walking wasn't about
sexual rank. Mulder would walk slowly wanting to
set the pace so Scully wouldn't push herself too hard,
she knew this, but humored him into thinking she
didn't. He would push the heavy branches away with
his longer arms. Scully preferred to stay behind him
anyway, otherwise he would try to help her too often.
Guiding her up embankments, around ditches, and
through trees. She didn't mind much, it was the
chivalrous part of him coming through. She actually
enjoyed his help, but not when it was this hot. She
just didn't want to be touched until it was dark and
cooler. That and she liked the view.
Their usual comfortable silence was ruined by
Mulder cursing then falling to the ground.
Scully walked up next to him, looked down with her
hands on her hips. Her expression was a mixture of
question, concern, but most of all humor. Mulder
could be so damn clumsily sometimes.
"I stepped in a hole." He looked up at her with his
lost puppy eyes.
With a smile Scully shook her head and kneeled
down by him. "Which foot?"
"My left."
Sitting in the soft dirt she carefully pulled off his
shoe to inspect for injuries. "Did you sprain it?"
"I don't think so. It doesn't even hurt anymore. I
think I just lost my balance."
"I saw." Scully stated trying not to laugh.
"You're just lucky I was walking in front. I found the
hole for you."
Deciding there was no damage she put his shoe back
on. "If your feet weren't so big you wouldn't have
had any trouble." She teased, after all there were a
few perks of being petite. One of them being you
didn't often trip in holes, just fell in them. Ok so
maybe it wasn't a perk, but she had to tease him
when she could.
"Well you know what they say about guys with big
feet." Mulder grinned, proud of his comeback.
Shaking her head in good humor once again Scully
stood and started walking down the path away from
him.
"Hey!" Mulder jumped to his feet to follow her. "Just
gonna leave me all alone?"
"No," She glanced over her shoulder at him. "I just
thought I should take over the hole searching for a
while, you don't seem to be doing so well."
Mulder mumbled a wordless reply but didn't push the
fact that he usually led. He liked the view he had now
anyway.
Day 64
Scully actually wasn't hungry anymore. It was
strange, she woke up and for the first time in a long
time her stomach didn't cause her pain. It was still
empty, she knew that, but it didn't bother her.
And that frightened her. She wasn't starving to death.
That took months. They had water, so that wasn't a
problem. But she didn't like the fact that she wasn't
in pain. It had become a comfort to her in a way.
Something that was always there no matter what they
did. But that seemed ridiculous. She didn't like that
though. She wanted food. Wanted something to
chew, to fill her stomach, something to use their pot
for besides heating water.
"Hey Scully.." Scully followed Mulder's line of
vision to a group of five people walking in the sparse
trees by them. "Stay here for a minute and keep an
eye out for me."
"Mulder?" Her voice was filled with warning and
concern.
"I'm going to go see if they want to trade anything."
He started to walk towards them in a calm non-
threatening stance.
"Be careful."
He smiled over his shoulder. "I always am. and
when I'm not you are there to save my ass."
Scully watched, unamused, as he walked up to them.
They group was suspicious towards Mulder at first,
but Scully could pinpoint the moment he said he had
cigarettes to trade.
Standing alone was something that didn't happen to
Scully anymore. She and Mulder were never far from
each other. It made her feel vulnerable and protective
at the same time. So she watched Mulder carefully.
The group didn't look armed, but then again neither
did Mulder. When in fact he had two guns and a
knife hidden on his body. They talked and bargained
for quite a few moments before Mulder walked back
over.
"Well?"
Mulder put his arm over her shoulders and guided her
back down the path they were on. "Well. we'll be
eating a nice dinner tonight. I traded pretty well, still
have a whole carton of cigarettes if we run into
anyone else. It's amazing what people will trade for
an addiction."
Day 67
Mulder paused his walking beside Scully.
"What?"
Not looking at her he placed a finger to his lips as a
signal for her to stay quiet. They both drew their guns
slowly, scanning the surrounding area.
Scully cursed herself silently, she was so lost in
thought she wasn't paying attention to everything
around them. She had been doing that often. Thank
goodness Mulder didn't have that problem. Multi
tasking was simple for him. He could be in deep
thought, walking, listening and watching all at the
same time.
A few feet in front of them a middle-aged man,
armed with a rifle, stepped out into the road. They all
watched each other silently, with respective firearms
lowered but posed at their sides.
Scully waited for some sign of what Mulder wanted
to do. Walk on? Speak to him? See if he had any food
to trade?
Slowly Mulder reached under his shirt, pulling out
his chain. The Nova charm was displayed to the man
on the pad of Mulder's thumb.
Part 7
Day 67
The man looked at Mulder a moment with a blank
expression. Then he gestured toward Scully; "She
have one too?"
Scully frantically dug under her shirt pulling out first
the cross them with more fumbling the star.
All in one motion the man lowered the gun
completely to his side, smiled and took a step
forward extending his hand. "I'm Jared, nice to meet
you."
"Fox Mulder." Mulder supplied as he shook his hand
looking very shell shocked.
"I'm Dana Scully."
"Nice to meet both of you." He turned, nodding his
head in the direction from which he came. "Come on
I'll take you to Nova so you can settle in."
"So Nova is real?" Scully knew it was, she knew it
now. But she still needed to hear the words.
Jared glanced over his shoulder nodding. "Of course
it is. It's going to be about two miles walking. We're
coming up on some of the gardens and barns now." A
few feet later they all stepped out of thick trees and
into small fields. "Hey Bill!" He called to an other
middle aged man who was wondering around the
field. "I'm taking these two to Nova, watch my area
for a bit." The man waved in a friendly response over
at them. Jared walked along the dirt path pointing out
different fields, kept small so that the canopy of tree
provided some cover. And barns containing cattle,
pigs, chickens, and work animals. Mulder and Scully
followed along in silence, taking in all the
information and filing away the names of the people
they met. Everyone was working, everyone seemed
relaxed; it was strange. After months of being alone
together it was difficult to remember how to
communicate with other people.
"Ah there he is." Jared said to no one in particular.
"Benjamin! We have some new arrivals."
Jared waved his goodbye as a tall man with silver
gray hair came up to them smiling. "Hello, I'm
Benjamin Walters."
"You're the man who started all this." Mulder said as
he shook his hand.
"That's right." He said as he moved on to Scully.
"I'm Dana Scully and this is Fox Mulder." Scully
immediately liked Benjamin. He was kind, and quiet
with an honest smile.
"Doctor Dana Scully?"
"Well. Yes and Agent Scully." She said with a
small laugh.
"Oh yes. I remember now. You are both FBI agents.
Dana has a medical background and Fox you have a
psychology degree."
"Yes that's right." Mulder was truly impressed. With
all the people in Nova it was shocking that he could
remember the two of them.
"Well this is wonderful. Dana you are the first doctor
to make it here since this all started. We have a few
nurses but that's it. Come on, I'll show you around."
They slowly walked towards a rocky area, almost
small mountains.
"How is that you remember the two of us?"
"Well Fox-"
"Mulder, it's just Mulder."
Scully rolled her eyes. But she was actually surprised
it took him so long to mention that.
"Ok, Mulder. Your story about your sister, your
work, Dana's medical training, I suppose it just stuck
in my mind." They had approached a rocky cliff.
"Watch your step here, the ceiling is low in some
spots." The three slowly made their way through a
dark maze of rocks before stepping into a lit hallway.
Scully shivered slightly. The air was much cooler
with the rock cover. Large oil lamps lining the
hallway threw out some heat, but mostly just light.
"This is the main entrance. There many others, but
smaller and not as easy to get in and out of."
Benjamin began as they walked. "There is a map in
your room, that will help you learn your way
around." The hall became brighter and warmer as
they walked into an open area at least two hundred
feet in diameter. A large fireplace was in the center
and what looked to be brick ovens with the smell of
fresh bread filling the air. "This is the Main Room."
He directed them to the right of the doorway and
pointed down a long hallway. "There are many rooms
down there, four hallways in all. The north, south,
east and west, named for obvious reasons. Here's the
food station, every Monday morning you pick up
your rations, every morning you pick up fresh milk,
bread and eggs; you also pick up your work
assignment then. Usually once a week we have fresh
meat. I'll bring your food to you once you have
settled in." Benjamin waved at different rooms as he
spoke. Showing them where to collect the ice cold
water that flowed in from the river higher in the hills.
Where to dump waste and milk bottles to be refilled.
Pointing down the hallways of rooms they passed,
introducing them to anyone that they met along the
way. He showed them the `churches' the `library' the
storage rooms filled with canned and dried food,
other rooms with stacks and stacks of spare clothing
and bedding, everyone would be given replacement
clothing every few months. When they walked into
the Medical Room Scully looked around in wonder.
The walls were lined with shelves and cots lay in the
back near a small wood stove. There were bandages
and herbal medicines-some which she recognized,
surgical supplies and medical books. She didn't say a
word as she walked around. Finally, after being
shown and told more things then they could possibly
remember, Benjamin showed them to a room. Saying
`it is one of the largest ones left' since not many
people had arrived yet, only a few hundred so far.
Benjamin closed the heavy wooden door behind him
after lighting a few of the many oil lamps in the
room.
Leaning back against the door Mulder looked around
what was now their home. The room was rectangle,
about thirty feet by twenty. The door was on the short
side, the floor was rock, just like the hallways. The
walls were of thick wood planks, stained a natural
dark color. In the right corner of the opposite short
side was a small wood stove with a pipe leading up
into the carved out rock ceiling. Next to the stove was
a queen sized bed on an old oak frame pressed up in
the corner. In the corner, to the left of the doorway
was a large dresser, above were two long shelves.
The only other furniture was a small wooded table
pressed up against the wall opposite the bed and three
mismatched chairs.
The stove had a flat top. A small pot, pan, a few
plates, glasses, mugs, and bowls along with silver
ware in a low cabinet. It was made for both heat and
cooking.
The bed looked inviting, with a thick down blanket
and four pillows.
Silently Scully dropped her hiking bag near the table
and walked over to the bed. Tentatively, as if it might
dissolve at any moment, she sat on the firm mattress.
With a soft laugh she laid back against the soft
sheets. "I missed having a bed."
Mulder slowly made his way over to her, running his
fingers along the wall. "I missed having walls." He
sat on the edge of the bed savoring the cushion that
absorbed his weight.
Reaching up Scully pulled him flat on the bed. She
curled up against his chest with her hands tucked up
against her. "I feel comfortable here."
Mulder only nodded. He felt the same way. It was a
strange feeling, he never felt like he was home
anywhere. Not his old apartment, not even his house
as a child. It didn't seem to have anything sacred.
"Who thought our first home together would be a
single room in a cave."
Scully picked her head up enough to rest her chin on
her hands. She smiled for a moment trying to decide
whether or not to talk about the fact that he presumed
that they would be living together at some point. Not
that she thought any different. Years ago she realized
Fox Mulder was the only man for her. He loved her,
and she loved him, it was that simple. They would
easily give their lives for each other without a second
thought. What more could she look for in a man?
A knock sounded on the door.
Mulder kissed her forehead quickly before standing.
He opened the door to Benjamin.
"Here you are Mulder." He handed him a canvas bag
with dried rice, cans of vegetables, fruit, soup and
many other things; more food then Mulder had seen
in weeks. "This is both of your rations for the rest of
the week. I brought the only bottle of milk left from
this morning. Now don't forget to pick up your
assignments in the morning, but Dana, you will be
working in the Medical Room. Mulder since you are
good shape you'll probably be doing hard labor."
Mulder nodded solemnly. "But it's still early, so take
the day off. Get settled in and take a look around. Be
sure to read the rule-book. You can pick up wood in
the Main Room where I showed you. There should be
a change of sheets for the bed in dresser. If you hear
something, it's just the clock chiming the hour.
You'll get used to it quickly, except the wake up call
at six am, you won't miss that." Benjamin laughed
softly. "Oh, and before I forget, we don't work on
Sundays. Except Dana. People will have to find you
if they have any problems."
She nodded in understanding. "Benjamin, what day is
it?"
He smiled softly, feeling sorry that they had to make
the journey to Nova. And judging by their tired, worn
expressions it wasn't an easy trip. "It's Wednesday. If
you need anything, anything at all, don't hesitate to
find me." With a smile he left them.
Mulder turned back around to find Scully, who had
kicked off her hiking boots, putting clothing away.
"We can do that later, Scully. Why don't you come
over here and eat something."
Scully walked over and sat in one of the chairs taking
the cold bottle of milk in her hands. "I would just like
some milk."
Mulder passed her two glasses which she separated
the milk into equal parts. She sipped slowly, savoring
the rich thick taste of raw milk, as Mulder stowed the
food in the cabinet by the stove. She watched
wordlessly as he walked around drinking his milk
just as slowly. He unzipped his hiking bag, placing
the clothes in the dresser, then with care, he took out
his framed picture of Samantha and placed it on a
shelf. Scully set her empty glass down, after digging
through her bag she pulled out two pictures. One of
her and her mother, father, Bill, Charles, and Melissa
when they were young. And one of Emily. Smiling
she leaned back against the foot of the bed. "This is
perfect."
"Perfect?" Mulder's voice was full of amusement.
"Well." Scully tipped her head from side to side in
thought. "Just about, yeah." She placed a hand over
her stomach. "I haven't felt this full in a long time."
The fresh milk felt heavy in her shrunken stomach. It
was a wonderful feeling.
Mulder nodded his agreement then picked up a
bucket. "I'm going to go get some water, then I'll get
some wood."
Scully dragged the hiking bags back out. "I'll finish
unpacking. Then I think we should take a nice long
nap on this new bed."
"I agree whole-heartedly." Mulder called as he shut
the door.
A few minutes later Mulder was making his second
trip back to the Main Room to get wood. He was
placing the small pieces of wood in the carrier he
found in the room when he heard a questioning voice
call his name.
Mulder looked up from his crouched position.
"Mulder!" Langly bounded over to him.
After recovering from an unbalancing hug Mulder
laughed in disbelief. "How long have you been
here?"
"All three of us got here over a month ago, we had
enough gas saved up so we drove all the way to
Canada, but we left about a week after They came.
The guys are back in their rooms for lunch." Mulder
nodded, the clock just struck twelve. "When did you
get here? Is Scully with you?"
"Yes, we got here today. No more then an hour ago."
Mulder pulled the heavy bag onto his shoulder. "Why
don't you guys stop by. We are in the fourth room on
the left in the west hall."
Langly nodded enthusiastically and started jogging
off to the east hallway. "Yeah! We'll be right there."
Mulder walked back to their room with a stupid grin
on his face. "Hey Scully. Guess who I just saw?"
She looked up in question from where she was
stowing items they wouldn't need under the bed.
"Langly. Him, Byers and Frohike are on their way
over here right now."
A few minutes later the Gunmen arrived, they stayed
throughout the hour and a half lunch break. They
talked about their relatively easy ride up to Nova.
Then Mulder and Scully shared their story. The short
version. It was easier that way. For all of them.
Scully lay on her side on the bed, watching Mulder
start a small fire. It was only mid afternoon, but they
were both ready to turn in for the night. Mulder
walked around, putting out the lamps so that the
room was lit in a faint orange glow from the fire. He
then climbed up on the bed, his back against the wall
and pulled Scully to him.
She rolled over, buring her face in his chest.
Then she started to cry. She finally let herself cry.
"Shh. It's ok sweetheart." Mulder cooed softly.
"Everything is ok now." He didn't press her to stop.
He couldn't. He had started to cry softly. But it was
of relief. He felt safe now, he felt he could keep
Scully safe here. At least he hoped he could, for a
little awhile if nothing more.
Scully hadn't let herself cry about Them coming.
Through the whole thing she only cried once. And
that was for Mulder. When she went to wake him to
drink water after being stabbed, and he wouldn't
wake. She started to cry. For him. That she might
lose him, it was a big possibility. So she cried from
the moment he wouldn't wake up to the moment he
finally did. For over forty-eight hours she cried. Only
sleeping when pure exhaustion overcame her, the
moment she would wake up she would cry again.
Mulder soothed his hand through her hair, the other
wrapped around her waist, holding her to him.
"Everything is ok." He whispered again.
Slowly Scully stopped crying. She just lay in his
arms, horribly tired from physical and mental
exertion. But she wasn't hungry. And she wasn't hot.
She wasn't cold. She wasn't sleeping on rocks or
even dirt. And she wasn't as scared. Slowly she let
Mulder's heartbeat pressed against her ear lull her
into a restful sleep.
Scully was awoken slowly by the feeling of Mulder's
lips pressing feather light kisses to the back of her
neck. It took her a moment to remember where she
was. It always amazed her that she never got over
that, even after all the years of spending most of
nights in hotels and the last few months waking up in
the middle of no where. "Is it time to get up?" She
asked sleepily, rolling over to face him.
Mulder placed a long deep kiss on her lips. "Not at
all. I just heard the clock, it's only two in the
morning."
"Then why are you bothering me?" She teased.
"It's bad luck not to make love in a new house."
Scully laughed softly. "Is that a fact?"
"Mmm hmm." He mumbled against his neck as his
hands slipped under her shirt. "Brings good luck."
Wiggling against him she managed to pull off her
shirt. "I don't want to tempt luck." She tugged at
Mulder's shirt.
Reaching behind him, Mulder pulled his shirt off the
rest of the way with one hand. "I wonder how thick
these walls are." He said with a smile against Scully's
lips as he struggled to unbutton her pants without
looking down.
Scully just laughed and shimmied out of the rest of
her clothes. Mulder moved to cover her body with his
but she stopped him with a hand on his chest. "You
have too many clothes on." She said matter of factly.
"Aren't you in a hurry. Not that I am complaining."
Scully pulled him, finally naked, down onto her
body. "I wouldn't want any misfortune to strike while
we wait."
He chuckled against her as he suckled her breast.
"That would be a shame."
She pulled his face back up level with hers, pulling
his hips between her legs at the same time. "We
better hurry then." Putting her hands on either side of
his face she kissed him deeply. She fingers slowly
traveled down his arms where he held his weight on
either side of her face. Then she skimmed them down
his back until she cupped a cheek of his ass in each
hand. With a firm pushed she took him into her body.
Mulder broke off their kiss as the sensation of her
warmth sheathing him overwhelmed him. Nothing
else in the world mattered but his body moving inside
of hers. All his focus was concentrating on bringing
pleasure to Scully. It served as a way from him to
take away all the pain and harshness that surrounded
them.
Angling himself, Mulder put his weight on to one
arm while sliding the other down to Scully's
slickened folds. Finding her swollen nub he rubbed in
time with his strokes. Almost immediately Scully
began to quiver around his hardness.
In the closing moments Mulder fell to her side,
placing his face in the crook of her neck. Rolling onto
his side he pulled Scully against him. Taking her
thick hair into his hands he pressed his lips to her
forehead for long moments.
"We may have to do that again." Scully whispered
sleepily with a smile.
Mulder pulled away enough to look at her face in the
faint glow of the fire. "Why?"
Stretching up she kissed him quickly. "Just to keep
our luck up."
He chuckled softly and pulled her against him again.
"Sounds like a good plan." He murmured into her
hair. Slowly they both drifted off again in the
peaceful silence of their room.
Part 8
Day 68
Scully awoke with a gasp at a loud chiming, the
blood rushing from her head at the sudden upright
movement made her feel dizzy.
Mulder chuckled softly from the other side of the
room. "Benjamin said we wouldn't miss that." He
moved from the table where he was reading the rule-
book to sit on the side of the bed.
Scully rubbed the sleep from her eyes in order to
focus on Mulder. He had obviously been awake for a
while, the lamps were lit dimly, the fire was going
well, and he was clean and dressed. "Did you sleep
alright?" Scully asked with concern, cupping his jaw
in her palm and rubbing his cheekbone with her
thumb.
He turned and placed a long kiss on her sleep-warm
hand. "Yeah, just fine." He stood and motioned
towards the table. "I already got our breakfast. I'll
even cook for you." He grinned over at her as he
picked up the pan from the cabinet in one hand and
the two morning eggs in his other. With a little wink
that melted Scully's heart he turned to start frying the
eggs.
Scully climbed out of bed, wearing only Mulder's tee
shirt from the night before. She wrapped her arms
around his waist and kissed him between his should
blades through his shirt. "I love you." She said softly.
Even though they had confessed their love they
didn't get carried away with it. They knew how the
other felt, but didn't see the need to say it all the
time.
He smiled over his shoulder. "I love you too. And I
don't want you to catch a cold. Get dressed before
these are cooked."
After another quick kiss she did as requested.
Dressed, Scully sat down in one of the chairs and
took a long drink of the still very cold milk. She
quickly became accustomed to the rich taste of the
fresh milk, wondering how she ever drank fat free.
She took a large bit of eggs and an equally large bite
of bread. Chewing happily she looked up at Mulder.
His fork was poised over his plate, but he was just
staring at her with an astonished expression. "What?"
She mumbled out around a mouthful.
Shaking his head he laughed lightly. "Nothing.
Nothing at all." He hadn't seen her eat with such
relish in a long time. Good food after so long without
it will do that to a person.
With a shrug Scully focused back on her food. "What
are you doing today?"
"Chopping firewood." Scully looked up at him in
slight question. "I have to meet the group at seven,
we won't be back until five tonight."
Scully looked back down at her almost empty plate.
She didn't know what to think. Working a day away
from Mulder was not typical. Even when they
worked in the FBI. It hadn't happened in years.
"Hey." Mulder reached over and tilted her chin up to
meet his eyes. "I know, it will be weird. Not seeing
you for ten hours." He smiled in humor. "No cell
phones, so I can't call you every hour with some
stupid reason to hear your voice." Mulder blushed
slightly realizing he said that out loud, but Scully
wasn't surprised, she did the same thing. "But don't
worry. We'll both be busy, the time will fly by."
Scully raised her brows at him. "Yeah, I know, that's
a load of crap." He picked up both their empty plates.
"But we've got to get used to it."
Scully leaned back in her chair, stretching her arms
over her head with a slight groan. "I hate to say it but
you're right."
"Oh, thank you Scully." He said with mock hurt.
She began to page through the rule-book Mulder had
been reading.
"That is a pile of shit if I have ever read one." He said
turning around after cleaning the dishes in one of the
buckets of water.
"Why do you say that?"
"They are just unrealistic. `Anyone who steals will be
banned from Nova.' Like they are just going to walk
away. I don't think so. Another one was `Sexual
harassment and other such offences are not
permitted.' Like having that written will stop it from
happening." Mulder shook his head in annoyance as
he started to tie his hiking boots.
"Well. we can hope right?" Scully sounded less
hopeful then she meant to.
Mulder sighed when the clock chimed seven. "I better
go. Not allowed to miss a day unless you file a note
from the doctor, which is you by the way, with the
work station." Mulder rolled his eyes then stood.
After kissing Scully quickly. "I'll see you later."
"Bye." She called as he closed the door.
Scully was sitting in the silence of the Medical Room
reading when the creaking of the door caught her
attention. She looked over her shoulder to see
Mulder, he was sweaty and covered in dirt. Smiling
he walked over and leaned down to kiss Scully's
cheek.
"No way!" She ducked down and out of the chair.
"You are not laying a hand on me until you clean up."
Mulder held his arms out to display himself. "What?
You don't like the rustic lumberjack look?"
She shook her head. "Not really."
"Oh all right. I was just trying to kiss my woman
hello when I get home from work." His voice was
coated with humor.
"Tell you what, you go to our room, clean up. I'm
going finish up in here and I'll kiss you hello."
Nodding, Mulder walked out the door. "As long as I
get a kiss I have no complaints."
Smiling to herself, Scully put away her medical book,
turned off the lamps, leaving only the faint fire to
light the empty room. Closing the door behind her
she flipped over the wooden sign saying the doctor
was no longer in. She walked towards the west hall
smiling at the people she met during the day.
Scully smiled openly the moment she opened to door
to their room. Mulder was lying on his side, facing
the fire, he was cleaned and changed and looked
completely exhausted. She toed off her shoes and sat
next to him.
Mulder opened his eyes for a moment to look at her,
then let them slip closed. "Do I get my kiss now? I'm
all clean."
As her answer she leaned down and kissed his
exposed neck. She stayed down, leaning her weight
against his side.
Mulder rolled onto his back, causing Scully to land
on his chest. "How'd it go today?" He asked taking
her hair into his hands. He let the soft strands slip
through his fingers, only to pick them up again.
Scully lifted her head, resting her chin on the back of
her hands in the center of his chest. "There are two
pregnant women here, I saw them both today."
"Yeah? Are they doing well?"
She nodded, looking at the wall behind him in
thought. "Yeah, they are fine as far as I can tell." She
paused for a moment. "I'm going to have to deliver
the babies, Mulder." Her voice was just above a
nervous whisper.
Mulder rubbed his palms over her back. "You've
done it before."
"Once, Mulder. Only once."
Mulder turned her face with his hand to meet her
eyes. "You'll do ok Scully, don't worry."
Frowning Scully laid her head back down on his
chest and looked into the fire.
Day 69
Scully was sure of it, they had barely been at Nova
for three days and Mulder had already gotten himself
in trouble.
She had gotten back from the Medical Room over an
hour ago, Mulder was supposed to be back an hour
before her. His job today was to patrol. Mostly
because of his experience with firearms. He had to
walk to border of Nova all day, watching for anyone.
Scully paced the length of the room for the
umpteenth time. She wanted to go looking for him, it
was her first reaction. But he could be anywhere in
the hundred square miles that Nova had `claimed'.
There was no way for her to find him. But she wasn't
allowing herself to panic, yet.
With a frustrated sigh Scully walked out the room
and down to the main room. She all but jogged down
the east hall to the three rooms the Lone Gunmen
had, all in a row. She rapped her knuckles on the first
door, Frohike's.
"Well Scully, what do I owe this pleasure?" Frohike
greeted with his trademark leer.
"Have you seen Mulder today?"
His face straightened. "Not since I woke up, why?"
Scully frowned and leaned against the wall next to
the door as Langly and Byers walked in from the
Main Room. "He went on patrol today and hasn't
gotten back yet. He's two hours late."
"We'll go looking for him if he doesn't get back by
dark." Byers promised. "But give him time."
"Yeah, don't worry yet Scully. All he had to do was
walk a little farther then he planned and lose track of
time."
Scully looked at Langly and tried to absorb the truth
of his words into her reeling mind. Nodding slowly,
"Ok. Thanks guys. I'll come back over if Mulder
doesn't show up in a couple hours." She started
walking back towards the Main Room.
"Don't worry Scully, I'm sure he'll show up." Byers
called.
Scully studied the floor her entire walk back to the
room, she wouldn't be able to force a smile for
anyone she ran into in the hallway so she didn't want
to make any eye contact.
Refusing to let herself pace anymore before she wore
a tread into the rock floor she laid down on the bed,
starring up at the rock ceiling. Studying the natural
contours of how the stone broke away from the
carved out sections was much like looking up at the
clouds. At a quick glance they looked like nothing
more then hills and valleys. But with the imagination
of her stressed mind Scully saw many things.
In the far corner above the table there was a spiral,
uneven and irregular, but it was there. Native
Americans believed that symbol meant the
continuation of life. It went on forever, no matter
what.
Scully couldn't imagine her life without Mulder, she
hadn't been able to for years.
The area above the stove had already turned slightly
dark from the soot when the glass door was opened to
add wood. The way the smoke spiraled up and
around left a swirling mark. It looked like a large
black spider.
Scully hated spiders. She smiled in memory at the
time one had found it's way onto her desk in their old
office. She had screamed like a little girl, jumped out
of her chair and told Mulder to kill it. But he
wouldn't, instead he picked it up in a scrap of paper
and let it out one of the tiny ground level windows.
Scully hated this spider. Climbing off the bed she
pulled a chair over to the spot. Standing up on it she
was tall enough to wipe away the mark with her
hand. Once it was nothing more then a blur of soot
she climbed down and got back on the bed.
For many silent moments she stared at the area above
the head of the bed. She knew her unconscious had a
part in what she saw, but she didn't care. To her the
stone was cut in an `X'. She smiled at the
appropriateness of it all.
Her eyes grew heavy at as she stared at that X. She
didn't want to sleep, but it was so much more inviting
then waiting. She had always hated waiting as a
child. She grew out of it as an adult, until she started
working with Mulder. Then the waiting wasn't just
waiting, it was fear, annoyance, concern, and
nervousness.
But she had no choice but to wait.
Part 9
Day 69 (continued)
Scully woke with a start from a dip in the bed. Her
eyes flew open and did not meet the X above the bed,
but Mulder's face.
"Oh thank God." Scully sat up and wrapped her arms
around the surprised Mulder's neck.
He kissed her neck softly. "Sorry I'm late, I lost track
of time. I got to walking around. It's really pretty out
around here Scully, I'll have to show you some spots
I found-What?" He asked worriedly after she pulled
away from him and shot daggers out of her eyes.
"You scared the shit out of me Mulder!" She wiggled
out from between him and the wall to stand, hands on
her hips, lips pressed tightly, a angry flush in her
cheeks, still glaring at him.
Mulder opened his mouth to say something but didn't
know what to say for a moment. "I'm. I'm sorry,
Scully. I don't exactly have a way to keep track of
time out there. And once I realized it was getting late
I had an hour and half's walk back."
"I don't want to hear your excuses Mulder!"
He held up a hand. "Ok, just relax Scully."
"Relax?! Oh sure, no problem. I've just been laying
here for the past few hours worried to death that
something happened to you and I wouldn't be able to
find you!" Scully had two choices in situations like
this; either start to cry, or be madder the hell. She
almost always chose the latter.
Mulder clenched his jaw trying to keep the words
from coming out of his mouth, but they did anyway.
"So you usually sleep when you are worried about
my well being? That's good to know." His voice was
bitter and hurt. Hurtful.
Scully jaw dropped open. "Mulder." Scully stopped
and pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes,
trying to keep the angry, yet relieved, tears from
falling.
Mulder shook his head. "This is useless. I'll be back
later." Mulder stood and walked towards the door,
but Scully blocked his way with her small body.
"No way. You aren't walking out until we are
finished."
"Scully! This is pointless. Whenever I do something
that scares you -even when I had no way to stop it-
like this time, you get pissed off. There's nothing else
for me to tell you!" He leaned in close to her,
speaking slowly and firmly. "I lost track of time and
location. I am sorry I worried you. I didn't do it on
purpose." He stood upright again. "Now if you insist
on still being mad at me I would like to go
somewhere else."
Scully refused to give in this time. Call it pride, call it
stubbornness, call it whatever you like, she just
wasn't going to let him off the hook. Crossing her
arms she leaned back against the doorway. If Mulder
wanted to leave he was going to have to move her
first, and she was planning on making that very
difficult if he tried.
"Oh I don't believe this!" Mulder turned around and
took a deep breath, running his hands through his hair
before turning around again. He spoke softly, trying
to let the level of tension in the small room ease up at
least a little. "What do you want me to say Scully?
What can I do to make you feel better about all this?
I've said I am sorry, and I mean it. I really am. I
don't like to worry you, I really don't."
"Say you won't let it happen again." Scully ordered.
Mulder's eyes closed, this was just getting worse and
worse. "Scully, sweetheart, I love you." He took a
step toward her, pinning her against the door with his
height. "I really do. I respect you and I don't want to
hurt you ever." His next words were careful, he knew
he was on thin ice. "But you aren't thinking this one
through." He quickly held up his hand when she tried
to speak. "There is no way for me to promise
something like this won't happen again. I can't
promise something I don't have control over."
"Mulder you have control over when you come
home." She said bitterly. He was trying to sweet talk
her and it wouldn't work.
"Not when I don't have a way to keep track of time.
Some places are very heavily treed, I can't see the
sun. And even that isn't very helpful. I refuse to
promise something that I might not be able to keep. I
won't do that to you."
Scully bit the inside of her cheek. She had
overreacted. She knew that. But she couldn't help it,
and she wasn't sorry in the least. She was tired of
this. Seven years of being scared shitless that she
might not see Mulder again would do that to a
person. She let her eyes fall from his and looked at
her feet, her arms loosening the tight determined
pose. "You scared me." She repeated because she had
nothing else to say. She couldn't stop the few tears of
pain that rolled down her cheeks.
Mulder stepped forward even more. Taking her arms
in his hands he loosed the cross completely. "I
know." Tilting her head up with one hand on her chin
he kissed the tears away from her cheeks. "I'm sorry.
I am so sorry, Scully."
She sniffled and nodded, unable to meet his eyes.
"Come here." He said softly pulling her into his arms.
She buried her face in his neck and wrapped her arms
around his shoulders.
"I don't want you to be mad at me. You're all I've
got." He whispered in her ear. "You're all I want and
you're all I need." He squeezed her against him.
"You're my everything."
"I know." She whispered back. "You're mine too."
She kissed his neck where the skin became hot and
moist from her breath.
They stayed like that for a long time, lips pressed
against each other's necks, exchanging feather light
kisses of apology and forgiveness. Mulder finally
pulled his head away from her slightly and kissed her
lips. She opened her mouth to his gentle request of
his tongue against her lower lip. His kiss was gentle
and controlled. Scully slipped her hands from his
upper arms to into his hair. She wove her fingers into
the soft stands and pulled him closer to her. With her
back still against the door Scully had some leverage
over his height. Arching her back away from the
wood her was able to push Mulder back. She kept
walking, forcing him to either stop kissing her or
move with her. When the back of his knees hit the
end of the bed he sat down, bring Scully with him.
Straddling his lap she tugged his shirt from his pants,
breaking off the kiss only long enough to pull both
his and hers off. Mulder danced his fingers over the
newly exposed skin of Scully's back, tickling lightly.
Wiggling in his lap slightly Scully smiled against his
lips as he continued to tease her flesh.
"That tickles." She informed in a soft voice as she
moved to kiss his jaw.
"I know." Mulder answered and ran his fingers over
her skin again, this time on her sensitive sides.
Scully bit his neck in rebuttal.
"Hey!" He said laughing. "Play nice."
Smiling again, Scully kissed him thoroughly as she
pushed him onto his back. They carefully worked the
buttons of each other's pants open. As Mulder kicked
his jeans off he pulled himself and Scully further up
on the bed so his legs weren't hanging off the end.
Scully kissed around his face, his eyes, his nose,
spending great time on his ears before moving further
down his neck. Working her tongue in circles she
traveled the length of his collarbone. Scully paused
suddenly. Mulder turned his head and opened his
eyes to look at her. Without looking up at him, Scully
placed a long kiss over the pink scar on his arm.
Mulder watched silently as she laved the tender flesh
with care. As if she was hoping to wash away the
scar like a mother cat. With a gentle sigh, barely
audible in the silence of the room, save for the soft
crackling fire, Scully worked her way back to his
mouth.
Slowly Mulder worked his hands in a continuous
caress from her shoulders to her lower back. He
slipped his hands down the back of her panties,
Scully rose enough to allow him to slip them as far
down her legs as he could. With a little squirming she
kicked them off the end of the bed. Mulder quickly
raised his hips enough for Scully to pull down his
boxers, he pushed them off, finishing off the pile of
clothes on the floor.
Scully returned to her perch of straddling his thighs
and kissed him the heat of anticipation became
unbearable. Mulder supported her weight in his
strong hands as she guided him into her waiting
body. Sitting up straight, Scully tilted her head back
and let a rhythm take over her movements without
much thought. When she was with Mulder it seemed
natural. She didn't need to question her movements,
or her actions. She let her eyes slip closed from the
vision of the X on the ceiling as she felt Mulder's
thumb probe knowingly at her folds.
She let the rhythm change with Mulder's new
movement. She let him take some of the control, let
him take her to the wonderful place that he was so
good at taking her. Scully bit her lip to remain quiet,
but a small whimper escaped. Her body pulsed its
pleasure, it rejoiced at the feeling of Mulder releasing
into her body. He gave her life, even if they couldn't
make a new life they were build their life together
stronger and stronger.
Scully let herself fall relaxed onto Mulder's chest,
frantic with trying to breathe properly. His hands
slowly began to stroke and soothe her back after he
pulled the bunched blankets over them both.
Mulder tried to ignore the sound that was disturbing
his sleep, but the sound wouldn't go away. He slowly
figured, after listening closely, someone was
knocking on the their door. Carefully extracting
himself from Scully's grasp he pulled on his
discarded jeans. He covered Scully's body with the
blankets securely before opening the door.
"Hey, you're alive." Langly greeted.
Mulder let out an only partly amused snort and
stepped out into the cool hallway, closing the door so
Scully wouldn't wake. "Yeah, I just lost track of time
out there."
"Unbelievable." Byers said shaking his head after
looking Mulder up and down.
"Huh?"
Frohike nodding in agreement with Byers. "You are
one lucky son of a bitch Mulder."
"What are you talking about?" Mulder, still half
asleep was quickly becoming annoyed with them.
"I have never seen Scully as scared as she was when
you hadn't shown up after a couple hours." Byers
said, looking just as pissed as the other two. "And
I've seen Scully pretty scared before."
"Yeah," Frohike interrupted. "You scare her to death
then come back and have make up sex."
Mulder leaned back against the door with a sigh.
"Look, guys, I'll say is again for the millionth time
today; I am sorry. Ok? Can everyone just lay off?"
Langly held up his hands in innocence. "Hey we
aren't here because we are mad. We were just
checking up on Scully to make sure you showed up."
"I appreciate that. Thank you."
"No problem. See you tomorrow." They turned and
walked away still muttering how unbelievable it was
that he always ended up getting away with stunts like
that.
Feeling worse then before about the whole thing
Mulder went back into the room. He sat down at the
table and watched Scully sleep peacefully wrapped
up, safe and warm. She didn't look that way when he
first walked in and found her sleeping. Her brow had
been furrowed, she shifted restlessly in the few
seconds that he had been there before she woke, she
looked just plain shaken.
Mulder let out yet another sigh, this one annoyance
with himself-even though there was nothing he could
have done about it- and continued to watch over
Scully as she slept.
Day 70
Scully was reorganizing the supplies in the Medical
Room when the door opened and a bleeding Mulder
walked in.
"A rock bit me." He said sitting down on one of the
cots.
Scully rolled her eyes. She spent most of her day
taking care of simple wounds like this. She didn't
mind though, things could be much worse. "It bit
you?" She asked as she placed a pan of water of the
cot beside him.
"Yeah. Came out of no where. Them rocks can be
pretty tricky." He cringed as she placed his bleeding
hand in the water and cleaned off the dried blood.
"So I've heard." She pulled his hand out and toweled
it off. The cut wasn't deep. "Tell me if this hurts."
She gently pressed the bones surrounding the cut.
"A little."
She nodded. "Ok, nothing is broken. I'll just wrap it
up, try not to use it too much." She pressed a towel
over the cut, then placed his hand over it. "Hold that
till the bleeding stops."
"It's quiet in here today."
Scully sorted through the cabinet looking for size
bandage she wanted. "Now it is. People are always in
and out of here for something. I feel like Dr. Quinn
Medicine Woman." She mumbled as she sat down
next to him again.
He chuckled.
"Let me see." She examined his hand for another
moment before spreading a green paste over the
wound.
"What's that?"
"Astragalus. It will help some with infection. After a
few days you can just put aloe on it."
"Oh. You have turned into Dr. Quinn Medicine
Woman."
She glared at him before wrapping a strip of cloth
around his hand, tying it securely. "I'll take some
more bandages back to the room so we can change
that. Don't throw the fabric out, I need to reuse it."
While he nodded she leaned over and kissed his
cheek. "Watch out for those rocks. I'll you see later."
She stood up and went over to check on the bandages
that where boiling to sterilize. Mulder just sat where
she left him.
"Are you going back to work?" She asked glancing
over her shoulder.
"Yeah. I will in a minute." Mulder swung his legs and
relaxed on the cot, resting his hands behind his head.
"Please get your feet off that."
He wiggled down the cot slightly so his shoes hung
over the edge. "Hey Scully?"
"Hmm?" She paid little attention to him as she wrung
out the washed bandages.
"Does that door have a lock?"
"No it doesn't Mulder." She was glad she wasn't
facing him, he would have seen her smiling even
though she kept her voice stern.
"Oh. Well you want to push the table up to it or
something?"
Scully turned around with her hands on her hips. "Go
back to work Mulder." She let a small smile play on
her lips.
He sighed dramatically and stood. "Fine, but I'll get
you later." He leaned down to kiss her but she
playfully turned her face so he kissed just the corner
of her mouth. Mulder smiled and grabbed her around
the waist. He pressed his lips against hers.
"Oh! Sorry!" A young woman said as she opened the
door to the Medical Room and was met by the
kissing couple.
Scully tried to jump away from Mulder but he held
fast. "No. It's ok. He was just leaving." Scully
blushed a dark pink as she stepped out of Mulder's
grasp. "Goodbye." She gave him a small but firm
push to the door. "Easy on the hand and be careful."
"Yes doctor." He said as he walked away.
Part 10
Day 72 (Sunday)
"Where are you going?" Mulder asked sleepily,
holding tightly to Scully when she tried to rise out of
bed.
Scully struggled in his grasp to get up on her elbows.
"It's Sunday, stay in bed with me." He mumbled
trying to pull her back down.
"I know it's Sunday. I want to go to mass this
morning."
Mulder's arms dropped from around her. He wasn't
going to push for her to stay with him. Going to
church just wasn't something he understood, he
didn't even try to. All he knew was it is important to
Scully.
"You don't want to go do you?" She asked as she
placed water on the stove to heat so she could wash
up.
Mulder rolled onto his side to look at her. "Sorry, not
my thing."
She smiled softly. "I didn't think so, but I thought I
would ask."
Scully smiled politely at the people who had already
arrived at the church but sat in a row all by herself.
She looked around the small room, it was nice. The
walls were decorated tactfully with paintings of saints
and biblical scenes, most she recognized. Tall natural
colored candles, obviously hand made, lined the front
of the room. A small altar stood in the center of the
line of candles.
The smell of incense, surrounded her. She inhaled
deeply, feeling a deep sense of contentment.
Scully leaned back in her chair. She was comfortable.
It was quiet and small. Perfect. She didn't feel forced
to relax, it already felt like the church she had often
gone to with her mother.
Scully studied the far right hand corner of the room.
Two small doors were side by side. Confessionals.
It had been a while since she had been, but for the
first time in a long time, there was no guilt clouding
her heart. She had made her peace with the
tumultuous events of the last couple of months,
realizing that there was no shame in being glad that
she and Mulder were alive, while as far as she knew
everyone else she had known and loved had died.
The mass was simple but beautiful. Though she had
been going regularly Before, she had not felt the
sense of wonder and hope that she felt in this little
room. So many people had gathered to share her
same thoughts and prayers. How odd it was that the
smallest mass she had ever been to was more
important, more moving then any other. The prayer
for the day was short. Spoken softly and slowly.
Everyone listened with polite and eager minds.
"Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace. Where
there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury,
pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is
despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where
there is sadness, joy. O, Divine Master, grant that I
may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to
love; For it is in giving that we receive; it is in
pardoning that we are pardoned; it is in dying that we
are born again to eternal life."
The final words of the priest remained with her long
after the mass had ended. "Go in peace." He had
instructed them.
Scully marveled how those three words could hold
such power. All her life she had longed for a sense of
inner peace. And only now, after the sky had almost
literally fallen, had she found it within herself, and
with Mulder.
Mulder looked up from the book he borrowed from
the library when Scully walked in. "Hey."
Wordlessly she walked over, took his face in her
hands and kissed him. "I love you." She said barely
pulling away, just to press another longer kiss against
his lips.
He smiled as she sat down next to him, not releasing
his lips completely. When she finally pulled away
Mulder spoke. "Enjoy your time?"
She smiled and nodded. "It was wonderful. I loved
it."
Mulder patted her thigh. "I'm glad. So what do you
want to do today?"
She just shrugged and flipped the pages of his book
unseeing.
"When I was out on patrol with the group they
showed me where a small lake is. It's not a hot
spring, but it is warmer then the river. We could hike
up there if you want."
Scully nodded quickly. "I would LOVE to really get
cleaned up. Just soak up the water, turn into a raisin,
it sounds wonderful."
Mulder chuckled and stood up, turning off the lamps.
"Let's go then."
"Wow." Scully whispered looking at the large lake. It
was so shallow the rocks were easily seen through the
sun reflecting water. To one side the water flowed
very gently down a natural hill of rocks. All long the
edge wildflowers grew, the bright yellows and rich
blues mirrored off the gently rippling water.
The lake wasn't empty by far. Many people swam,
played with their children, or just soaked up the sun
and cool water.
Wordlessly Mulder took her elbow in his hand and
lead her around to part of the water where no one
was. He stripped down just to his boxers and looked
at her pointedly, but she was still starring off at the
scenery.
"Scully? You going in?"
"Oh. Sorry." She smiled shyly and pulled off her
clothes, leaving only her black tank top and panties
on.
They both walked out into the almost too-cold-for
comfort-water, it only came up to Mulder's waist,
and Scully chest. The sun beating down quickly
warmed their cool skin making the water a pleasant
contrast.
Scully was silently cupping the water and running it
over her body as she watched a few of the children
laugh and splash around. She couldn't help but smile.
They were happy and carefree. Maybe it was best
they were so young when They came, they wouldn't
remember what life was like before. How easy some
things could be taken for granted, like being warm
and having a full stomach. To be na‹ve. How she
wished to be na‹ve like when she was young.
Thinking the only problems were getting her brothers
to leave her alone, the fight she had with a friend
over who took who's Barbie doll, when she would
finally grow out of her training bra, and where her
family would be moving to next. The fact that those
were her worst of her worries shocked her.
As she grew older her worries changed of course.
Would she pass medical school? Was she making a
mistake joining the FBI? They became more
important of course.
The last few years before They came her worries
seemed to revolve around one man. The man that had
saved her life more times then she cared to count.
The man who she threw away many of her morals for
and who changed her life tremendously. If she was a
petty woman she could easily blame all her problems,
three months of her life missing, the death of her
sister, a daughter she only knew for a short time, on
him. Maybe if she didn't love him more then life it's
self she would be able to give him some of that
responsibility. But as amazing as it was, she believed
if all the sacrifices she made the last several years
had brought him to her, it was worth it. It was all
worth finally having some one who understood her
and loved her for who she is.
Mulder touched her shoulder lightly. "You ok?"
She blushed lightly realizing how spaced out she
must have looked. "Yeah, I was just thinking. I think
I am going to get dress, but let's stay for a while
longer."
Nodding Mulder walked with Scully to the shore.
They dressed and sat on the rocks by the water in a
comfortable silence. It was nice to just sit and relax.
For the first time since they started to walk Mulder
didn't feel the need to look over his shoulder and
watch over Scully every second. It was calm and
peaceful. No threats appeared to be near them. They
were in the company of new friends and honest
people.
Mulder glanced over at Scully. "Hey?" He said softly
placing his hand on her back.
Scully rubbed her temples trying to ease the headache
she could feel starting. "I must be allergic to some of
the flowers." Mulder stood and moved to help her up
but she held up a hand. "I'm ok Mulder. My head just
hurts a little, sinuses I think."
Frowning Mulder looked at her closely. "Let's head
back?"
She nodded and started to walk in front of Mulder,
staying just out of arms reach so he couldn't help her
every step like she knew he wanted to.
Mulder stared at Scully's back as she made her way
slowly down the trail. He had to bite the inside of his
cheek to keep from saying anything. Not that he had
anything helpful to say, but he wanted to share what
was on his mind. He was worried, it was very simple.
She hadn't had any more nosebleeds, at least none
that he knew of. She didn't seem to be feeling ill, but
he didn't spend the day with her anymore. This
headache could very easily just be from pollen. But
this wouldn't be the first time she had hidden how
she was feeling from him.
He took a few large steps to stand at her side. He
gave her a soft smile, one of apology for his
uncontrollable worry and understanding that she
didn't want to speak about it, he has learned how she
worked. He didn't like it, but he accepted it. Mulder
took her hand lightly in his, interlocking their fingers
he brought their hands to his mouth and kissed each
knuckle softly.
They walked hand in hand all the way back to Nova,
not uttering a single word. Mulder didn't say
anything to her when they reached their room. He
just laid her down on the bed next to him and read
aloud from the poetry book by Anrienne Rich he had
been reading while she was at church.
"The glass has been falling all the afternoon,
And knowing better then the instrument
What winds are walking overhead, what zone
Of gray unrest in moving across the land,
I leave the book upon a pillowed chair
And walk from window to closed window, watching
Boughs strain against the sky
And think again, as often when the air
Moves inward toward a silent core of waiting,
How with a single purpose time has traveled
By secret currents of the undiscerned
Into this polar realm. Weather abroad
And weather in the heart alike come on
Regardless of prediction.
Between foreseeing and averting change
Lies all the mastery of elements
Which clocks and weatherglasses cannot alter.
Time in the hand is not control of time,
Nor shattered fragments of an instrument
A proof against the wind; the wind will rise,
We can only close the shutters.
I draw the curtains as the sky goes black
And set a match to candles sheathed in glass
Against the keyhole draught, the insistent whine
Of weather through the unsealed aperture.
This is our sole defense against the season;
These are the things that we have learned to do
Who live in troubled regions."
Mulder finished reading and looked down at Scully
where she had fallen asleep with her head resting on
his shoulder. He couldn't help but smile at the
peaceful look on her face. Tucking her hair behind
her ear with one hand he placed the book on the floor
with the other. Carefully he turned, Scully's head
shifting to rest in the crook of his arm. He studied her
face while she slept.
He wished there were a way for him to tell her what
he would do for her. The words that he would give
his life for her just didn't cover it. He would give his
soul if needed. He would do whatever it took to
protect her from what was happening around them.
The world had crashed down, now they had to deal
with the after shocks.
Day 74
Mulder woke with a start to loud banging on the
door.
"Dana! Dana we need you!"
Scully sleepily stumbled off the bed pulling on
enough clothes to be presentable. Swinging the door
open she shielded her eyes from the dim hallway
light and focused on a panicked looking Greg Wells.
Mulder had patrolled with him many times, saying
that he was a nice man but always very jumpy. "What
happened?"
"I-I shot a man! I didn't know he was a member. Oh
god, oh god what have I done?!" Greg shook
frantically.
"Ok." Scully held up a hand. "It's ok, I'll be right
there, let me just put warmer clothes on."
Greg nodded and ran off toward the Medical Room.
Scully turned around and took the sweatshirt Mulder
was handing her. "I might need your help Mulder, not
many people can handle the sight of blood."
"Oh and I just love it." He mumbled as he pulled his
shoes on.
"Come on." Scully rubbed her face quickly, feeling
the rush of adrenaline flow through her body. They
quickly jogged down to the Main Room and into the
open door of the Medical Room. Scully stopped short
when she saw the man who was shot.
"Oh my god." Mulder whispered at the sight.
...
Part 11
Day 74
They stood in astonished silence for what felt like an
eternity, when in fact it was only a few seconds.
"Mulder," Scully touched his arm. "Go put pressure
on the wound."
Mulder nodded numbly and kneeled by the end of the
cot, he placed both hands, one on top of the other,
over the bullet wound.
"Don't press too hard in case the bullet cracked a
rib." Scully called as she pulled out the items she
would need to take the bullet out of the ribcage. "Flip
him over, very gently, and see if there is an exit
wound."
Mulder did so, struggling to keep one hand over the
flow of blood. "No exit."
Scully ordered the bystanders out of the room, after
telling one of them to get Benjamin. She knelt next to
Mulder, placing the items at her knees. "How is he?"
She asked softly.
"The bleeding's slowed a little." Mulder's voice was
like her own. He glanced over at the doorway when
he heard Benjamin question Greg about how this
happened. "I can't believe they have people walking
around in the middle of the night with guns."
Scully gave a tight-lipped nod as her answer.
"Skinner? Sir, can you hear me?" She asked taking
Skinner's jaw into her hand. She frowned after no
response. She frowned even more at the amount of
blood now also covering Mulder also. "Ok, keep your
hand there. I'll take over in a moment." She sorted
through the items on the floor. "I think I'm going to
have to take the bullet out."
Mulder immediately noted the hesitant tone in her
voice. "Scully. You do whatever you think needs to
be done."
She nodded and dipped a scalpel into boiling water to
sterilize it. "Stay here Mulder." She requested softly.
"You know I will." He moved his hand away from
Skinner's chest.
"Cut the shirt off for me." Scully focused on wiping
away as much blood as she could while Mulder
cleared the shirt away. "There's a bottle of
chloroform on the shelf. Put a small amount on a
piece of cloth and hold it over his mouth every once
in a while for only a few seconds."
Mulder did as asked.
Scully slowly made a small incision in the center of
the wound. "Mulder, grab that lamp over there."
With one hand Mulder held the chloroform ready
over Skinner's mouth and the lamp near Scully with
the other.
Scully pulled the flesh open, causing Mulder to look
away. "A rib is cracked. I think-" Scully looked
closely. "Yes. I can see the bullet. I just need to get it
out." With sticky, bloody fingers she picked up a pair
of forceps. She poised had her hands poised over the
wound but paused.
"You can do this Scully."
Scully looked up at him and gave a curt nod before
gingerly reaching into Skinner's chest.
A low groan was wrenched from the large man.
Mulder immediately pressed the chloroform over his
mouth of a few moments as Scully grasped the
slippery bullet on the fifth try. Pulling the forceps out
of his body the bullet slipped out and bounced across
the room. Scully breathed a sigh of relief and looked
back at the wound trying to wipe away some of the
blood.
"How does it look?"
Scully squinted slightly, trying to get a good look
with the shadowy light. "Amazingly enough I don't
think it hit any organs. Looks like it bounced off his
ribs. I need to clean and close this." Scully worked
slowly and carefully. Mulder stayed in silence, trying
to help but stay out of the way.
"Here, let me take this off." Mulder said softly as he
walked up behind Scully and griped the bottom of her
bloody shirt in his hands. Scully raised her arms
limply and let him help her wash the dried blood
from her skin before he pulled a clean shirt over her
head. He gently turned her toward him and cupped
her face in his hands. "You should get some sleep, we
both should."
She nodded numbly and looked over at Skinner. "We
should stay in here, in case he wakes."
Mulder lead her to a vacant cot where they would
have a good view of Skinner. Laying down her pulled
her back against his chest, it was a tight fit. But
neither minded. Scully felt her eyes grow heavy
against her will. Burying her face in the crook of
Mulder's arm she whispered her questions. "How do
you think he found out about Nova?"
Mulder kissed the exposed curve of her neck.
"Probably the same way the Lone Gunmen did, he
looked around. He knew this was going to happen at
some point."
Scully was silent for some time. "I don't know about
this Mulder."
"What do you mean?"
Scully took a deep breath and studied the
unconscious man on the other side of the room. He
looked worn and malnourished. Skinner still
possessed his intimidating size, but he had lost a lot
of weight. Scully was concerned his body couldn't
handle the blood loss. But there was nothing she
could do about it. He looked innocent enough.
Skinner had done many things to help them, even
saved their lives in the past few years. But before
that, before he was their ally, he was an enemy. Just
like the Cancerman, just like Them.
Unconsciously Scully leaned back into Mulder. "I
don't know if I trust him." She whispered truthfully.
"Scully." Mulder's voice was surprised and
disappointed. "This is Skinner."
"I know." She said softly.
Mulder let out a long breath against her neck and
squeezed her slightly. "Get some sleep."
Scully didn't want to sleep, she wanted to watch
Skinner. Her mind was struggling between being a
doctor; wanting to watch her patient carefully during
the night, being a lover; wanting to keep Mulder safe,
and basically a human; who's body needed to sleep,
whether her mind was ready or not.
With Mulder holding her securely to him Scully feel
into a nervous sleep.
Day 75
Before Mulder was even fully awake he knew Scully
was no longer next to him. Lazily he opened his eyes.
Scully was kneeling beside Skinner, changing his
bandage. Mulder hoisted himself up onto one elbow.
"How is he?"
Scully glanced his way for a moment before focusing
on Skinner once again. "Hasn't woken up yet." Was
her simple explanation.
Mulder studied her for a moment from his reclined
position before swinging his legs over the side of the
cot and pulling on his shoes.
"Where are you going?" Scully questioned as she
washed her hands.
"I want to have a talk with Benjamin." Mulder and
started to walk towards the door.
"Wait. Mulder. are you sure that is a good idea?"
Mulder thought for a moment. "No, it probably isn't a
good idea. But I can just sit around here and wait for
something else like this to happen." He took a step to
close the gap between them and kissed her cheek
softly. "I'll meet you back here soon."
Mulder tapped the back of his knuckles against
Benjamin's door.
"Come in."
Mulder pushed the door open and stepped into the
room. It was larger then the rest, obviously built for
Benjamin. There were two fireplaces, a large table,
king sized bed, decorations which would have been
found in a home Before. Mulder couldn't help but
notice the abundance of canned food stacked next to
one of the stoves.
Mulder fought off the inferior feeling that surrounded
him.
"Mulder, how is that friend of yours doing?"
Benjamin gestured to the chair next to him.
Mulder sat. "I think it's too early to tell."
"That was a very unfortunate accident." The older
man said solemnly.
Mulder leaned his elbows on his thighs, resting his
chin on his clasped hands. "That's what I came here
to talk to you about. It is just plain stupid to have
people walking alone in the woods with weapons at
night." Mulder wanted to skip the pointless small
talk.
Benjamin's expression and posture immediately
turned defensive. "Well, Mr. Mulder, I appreciate
your concern but I think you may a bit biased after
last night."
Mulder forced his voice to stay calm and level.
"No. I think this is unsafe for more then a few
reasons. I am speaking from experience. I don't think
you realize how dangerous this could become. People
are going to start to panic when something like this
happens again."
Benjamin held up a hand. "Now Mulder, I know this
is probably your career training, I'm sure you lead a
very different life from what you do now. I
understand you want to know why this happened.
And I'll tell you what Greg told me; he heard a noise.
He listened and watched. Suddenly the man stepped
out and startled him. Greg fired, it was a mistake, he
knows it. He panicked. And once he saw the Nova
charm he panicked even more."
Mulder shook his head slowly, absorbing the
information. "This is ridiculous." He spat out.
"Mulder just calm down."
"Calm down?" Mulder was doing the complete
opposite. "An innocent man was shot, a fellow
member. He may die. And you aren't worried in the
least."
"Well I have complete confidence that Dana is doing
everything she can." Benjamin's tone was annoyed.
"She's an amazing woman, in more ways then one.
You are a very lucky man Mulder, you shouldn't take
a vibrant woman like Dana for granted, especially
here in Nova, you never know when someone who
deserves her will come along."
Mulder's face went blank with shock. He couldn't
believe what he was hearing. He didn't know whether
to laugh at the man or hit him. "I think you better
watch what you say, Benjamin."
The man let out a long sigh. "And what do you mean
by that?"
Mulder looked at him soberly. He didn't want to play
this game. "You know what I mean." The men
watched each other for a moment before Mulder
waved a hand around the room. "You obviously have
issues with sharing authority. Look at this room. You
set everyone else below you, everyone will do what
you say and want. That rule-book of yours," Mulder
snorted in disgust. "That is insane. Just because you
want to drop last night's situation you think everyone
should go along with you. Don't you think we should
do something about this?"
Benjamin frowned. "Are you blaming Greg for this?"
Mulder opened his mouth to speak but paused. His
anger was rising. Beating some sense into Benjamin
was beginning to look easier and more appealing by
the passing moment. "No I am not. I blame you."
Mulder sat back in the chair, arms crossed over his
chest.
Benjamin looked shocked if nothing else. "Excuse
me?"
"I blame you." Mulder said simply. "You are sending
untrained people out into the dark, alone, with loaded
weapons. If you think this is the only time something
like this will happen you are terribly wrong. And now
you don't want to do anything about it, you just want
to sit around and let it all blow over." Mulder's voice
raised on it's own accord.
Benjamin stood, walked to the door and opened it
wide for Mulder. "I think you are upset. I know you
and Dana didn't get much sleep. Why don't you go
and rest. You are not expected to work today so enjoy
your time off."
Mulder stood stiffly. He knew he was stepping one
Benjamin's toes. The testosterone was almost visible
in the air. The man obviously didn't understand how
Mulder worked. There were lines that could not be
crossed with him, most of those line revolved around
Scully. Those were the ones being crossed.
Mulder turned when he was just outside of the
doorway to speak, but the door was firmly closed in
his face.
The Medical Room was quiet, tense. Mulder and
Scully sat on opposite sides of the room.
Scully watched Skinner carefully, for a few reasons.
He has stirred a few times during the day, she thought
he would wake. But he hadn't, yet. And she watched
him in suspicion. A strange sense of possessiveness
had filled Scully's soul. Her jaw was clenched so
hard it ached, her neck was tense, she was prepared
to strike. To save herself, to save Mulder. She felt
like a wild animal protecting her mate. But this is
Skinner. She didn't want that thought to imbed itself
into her mind. But maybe it had. She was
remembering the times she had met with him and the
Smoking Man had been there, every time they
worked together. Closely. She was remembering the
time she and Skinner had held respective guns
pointed at the other's head. But she remembers the
time when she saved his life when he was infected
with a strange disease. She remembered the times
when Skinner did everything in his power to help her
and Mulder. Help them get the X-files back, help
them find each other. But the rational part of her
mind was being shut out by the panicked overtired
part. She wanted anything, anyone who could be a
threat to her and Mulder away. Far, far away. They
had worked too hard, suffered too much to be stupid
now.
Mulder stood from his seat and walked the room
restlessly. It was getting late but Scully wouldn't
leave the Medical Room to sleep in their room
tonight. He was exhausted. But he wouldn't go
without Scully. Even if he did leave he wouldn't
sleep. After months of being with Scully so closely
anytime apart seemed wrong. He wouldn't be able to
sleep. He would just lay awake listening for the door
to open and for Scully to come in and lay next to him
in bed. Mulder wanted to say something, anything to
Scully. But he was on very thin ice with her. When
he returned from talking with Benjamin he had told
Scully that things had gotten heated. But he refused
to tell her the specifics. She was angry, it was that
simple. And Mulder, like usual, had nothing to say
that would make it better. So he didn't try. He just
remained quiet and stayed with her. No matter how
uncomfortable they were at the moment neither
wanted to be alone.
But Mulder couldn't handle the silence any longer.
He turned to face Scully, to tell her he wanted to talk,
he wanted to tell her what Benjamin had said. But he
was interrupted by a low hoarse groan from the back
of the room.
Mulder looked past Scully as she turned around to
meet the unfocused yet shocked eyes of Skinner.
Part 12
(Day 75 continued)
Scully immediately walked to Skinner's side and
pressed a hand to his chest as he instinctively tried to
sit up. "Lie still."
Skinner fell back against the mattress with a grimace.
"Where am I?" His voice was strained and low.
Of all the things Mulder thought Skinner would ask,
that wasn't one of them. "Nova." He answered
walking over to stand sit by the cot next to Scully.
Carefully Skinner reached up in search for his charm.
He frowned as he fingered the small object. "Who
shot me?"
"Another member. it's a long story."
Skinner closed his eyes and nodded at Mulder's
explanation. "For some reason I'm not surprised to
see you two here."
"Frankly I am surprised to see you here, Sir." Scully
said smoothly.
He glanced at her with half opened eyes, obviously
struggling to keep them open. "I found out about this
place only a year ago. When I finally accepted the
fact that it was going to happen I figured I better save
my ass."
"Well," Mulder started before Scully could say
anything. "You almost got your ass shot to death.
Why were you walking around at night?"
Skinner shifted uncomfortably. He didn't want to
answer these questions. Not now, not when he eyes
felt heavy and his body throbbed with pain. "I knew I
was close and I didn't want to spend another night
sleeping on dirt if I didn't have to."
Frowning Scully stood up, taking Mulder's hand and
bringing him with her. "We are going to get some
sleep. It's been a long day. A woman, she's a nurse,
named Judy will be in a moment. If you need me for
anything she will come and get me. Rest and try to
drink and eat something when you feel up to it."
Scully said in a decidedly cool bedside manner.
Mulder told Skinner he'd see him the next day as he
shot him a `I don't know what's with her' look and
followed Scully out. They walked in silence, Mulder
trailing behind Scully, to their room.
Scully walked in, still not uttering a word, examining
hot ember remains of the fire she threw in a few logs.
Once they caught she stood, stripped her clothes off
and pulled on some sweats. Without looking up at
Mulder, who was leaning against the closed door, she
climbed into bed and closed her eyes.
He watched her settle on her stomach, fumbling with
the sheets and pillows for a moment before he pushed
himself off the door and changed. He was tired, not
only physically, but mentally also. His racing mind
had worn him down.
Laying down next to Scully he ran his palm under her
shirt and over the tense muscles of her back. With a
soft sigh Scully turned her head to face him. He
leaned toward her and placed a light kiss on her lips,
then her closed eyes, and finally her forehead.
"What's bothering you?" He whispered near her ear.
Scully forced her eyes open enough to look into his.
"Skinner." She said simply.
Mulder ran his fingers through her hair. "I figured
that much, but you said he will be ok. That's true
isn't it?"
She nodded slightly, focusing on the base of his
throat in distant thought. "I think he will be,
especially now that he has woken up."
"So. what is it then?" Mulder asked after a moment
of silence.
Scully met his eyes again with a frown. "Do you
think he can be trusted?"
Mulder's brow furrowed in thoughtful confusion.
Skinner's innocence was the least of his worries at
the moment. "I don't see why not Scully. I know
we haven't always been able to, but things are
different now."
"But that's the point. How do we know that he hasn't
been working with Them again to guarantee his
future?"
Mulder leaned back from her slightly, taking it all in.
After some moments of thought he responded. "He
doesn't look like he has been helping Them, Scully.
He looks worse then we did when we got here."
Scully rolled away, with her back to Mulder now. "I
knew you wouldn't believe me."
Mulder sighed and wrapped his arm around her waist
trying to pull her to him. "I didn't say that. I just
don't think. maybe I don't want to believe you
could be right." He kissed her neck softly. "But you
know there isn't anything we can do about it. He was
barely conscious. We can talk to him more tomorrow.
He isn't going to go anywhere or do anything how he
is now." He gently rolled her over so she was facing
him. "So let's not worry at the moment, let's just get
some sleep."
Scully settled her head against his shoulder and let
her eyes close. She was tired. She had been ever
since Greg had woken her up, and hadn't slept well
the night before. But sleep was calling now and she
wasn't going to turn down the invitation.
Day 76
Mulder leaned back against the wall as he watched
Skinner slip away into sleep once again. They had
spent the morning talking when Skinner had enough
energy for it. Actually it was more of an
interrogation, Mulder being the interrogator. He had
to admit he enjoyed it to an extent. After so many
years of having to answer to Skinner, it is was a nice
change.
But now his problem was talking to Scully. Mulder
was certain Skinner had nothing but good intentions
and now he had to try to convince Scully. He knew
she hated to admit when she was wrong, but he
wouldn't ask her to. It was insane to expect her not to
worry, he worried himself. He had gotten over the
idea that Skinner could have been helping Them, but
he had a feeling Scully wasn't going to drop it as
easily. Lately she had been overly protective of him
and herself. But Mulder was not in the position to
complain, for the first time he could remember their
roles were switched.
Mulder's thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock at
the Medical Room door. He swung the down open to
Greg nervously running his hand through his short
blonde hair. Mulder nodded a curt greeting but shut
the door to the Medical Room as he stepped out into
the hallway.
Greg pointed in question at the closed door. "I just
wanted to apologize to Walter about what happened."
Mulder nodded. "He'll appreciate that, but he just fell
asleep again."
"Oh. Well I'll just come back later then, thank you
Mulder." Greg turned to walk away but Mulder
caught his elbow.
"Actually, Greg, I was hoping to have a word with
you. Do you have a few minutes?"
"Um. Sure, but if this about what happened-"
"No. It's not, don't worry about that." Mulder
interrupted as he gestured for Greg to follow him out
a side opening and out into the bright sun. "I
understand you made a mistake, you aren't to blame."
"I'm not?" Greg asked surprised as he shielded his
eyes against the sun to focus on Mulder.
Mulder shook his head and scanned around the area,
they were alone. "Not at all. I blame Benjamin."
Greg looked like someone punched him in the gut for
a moment. When he recovered he quickly shook his
head. "I don't think we should talk about this."
Mulder crossed his arms and leaned against the rocks
next to the opening into Nova. If Greg wanted to
leave he was going to have to walk a quarter mile
around to the next doorway. "Why not?"
Greg let out a sigh. "Listen, Mulder, I know you
mean well about this. But you just don't go around
putting blame on Benjamin."
"Why? I think it's his fault. The way he runs things
around here just isn't logical. These rules he has set
up-
" Mulder paused searching for the right words. "They
aren't realistic."
Greg glanced around them nervously. "This is
Benjamin's place, we just let him do what he wants
even if it is idiotic."
"So you agree with me?" Mulder waited but Greg
said nothing. "Greg, you've got a family. Three kids
and wife, correct?" Greg nodded so Mulder
continued. "I only had to pay for Scully and I and that
was a hell of a lot. In my opinion we should all have
a say in what goes on here. Benjamin couldn't have
done this all alone."
Greg held up a hand and started to walk backwards
slowly, obviously preferring to walk a bit instead of
continuing the conversation. "You do or say whatever
you want Mulder, I'd prefer not to get kicked out. So
just leave me and my family out of it." Greg regarded
Mulder with respect for a moment. "If you care about
Dana the way I think you do you will leave her out of
it too. Don't ruin her life because you can't except
how things are here." He turned his back to Mulder
and walked on.
Mulder watched Greg walk away even after he was
out of sight. His words were slowly sinking into
Mulder. A knot of guilt settled in the pit of his
stomach. But he didn't think what he felt was wrong.
Mulder wanted Nova to be safe for Scully, and he
didn't feel Nova was incredibly safe at the moment.
He made his way back to find Scully. He found her
first try in the Medical Room. Quietly he opened the
door and sat next to her.
Scully looked up from her book. "You going back to
work?"
Mulder silently reached over and hand his hand down
the back of her head, just to feel her. Remind himself
that she is real and he has to be careful. Mulder
pulled away nodding and glanced at Skinner, it didn't
look like he had woken. "Yeah, I my lunch break is
over."
"Did you even eat?" She asked with a frown already
knowing the answer.
Mulder leaned over and kissed her cheek as he stood.
"I'll grab something, I've got a fifteen minute walk to
the field. I'll see you later."
"Bye." She said softly as he shut the door. She hated
to see him go. Before They came she sometimes felt
like she and Mulder were together too often, now he
seemed to be away too often. She only spent time
with him at night, and often they were both too tired
from the day to do anything other then sleep.
Scully pulled her knees up to her chest, balancing her
small body on the set of the chair carefully, and went
back to watching over Skinner.
"Oh!" Scully jumped in surprise as she walked face
first into Benjamin as he rounded the corned into the
Medical Room and her out.
"Dana, I'm sorry." He placed a hand on her upper
arm to steady her.
Scully smiled up at the tall man. "It's all right, did
you need something?"
Benjamin smiled softly. "Not really. I just wanted to
come and see how you were doing. Not many
beautiful, intelligent, AND eligible women around
here."
Scully blushed slightly and held up her bucket and
gestured for him to follow her to the Main Room to
get water. "Well thank you for the compliment. But
I'm not exactly eligible."
"I have to admit I am a little curious about your
relationship with Mulder. I know you worked
together but I was not under the impression that the
two of you were romantically involved."
Scully bit her lip as she dipped the bucket into the
flow of water, trying to find the best way to answer
him. She never felt comfortable talking to people
about her relationship, and she didn't quite know how
to describe her and Mulder. "Well we worked closely
together for over seven years, we have been through
a lot and really depend on each other. We've only
recently taken that next step but I think I have always
known Mulder is the only man for me." She smiled
shyly at that admission as they walked back toward
the Medical Room.
Benjamin held the door open for her but waited at the
entrance. "Well, Dana you never know when a
relationship might change."
Scully nodded, that was a truthful statement. You
never did know what would happen. "I guess, but I
believe Mulder and I will be spending the rest of our
lives together. We can't survive without one
another." She gave a small smile, looking at the blank
wall, lost in thought, instead of Benjamin. "That's
just how it is."
Benjamin shook his head. "I don't know about that.
You are a very strong woman, I can tell. I think you
would make it just fine without Mulder."
Scully looked back up at him, almost forgetting he
was there at all. "I suppose I could make it on my
own-"
"I didn't say on your own, I just said without
Mulder."
Scully smiled at his statement but continued as she
had planned. "I wouldn't want to without Mulder.
Wouldn't be worth it."
Benjamin frowned for a moment. "Well I'll let you
get back to work. Have a nice day." He gave a short
polite nod and shut the door behind him.
Mulder slowly shut the door, trying to stay quiet
when he saw Scully asleep on the bed. He changed
into clean boxers and washed swiftly, anxious to be
close to Scully after a hard day. He slipped onto the
bed and stoked the exposed skin of her arm, warming
the cool air away from her body. "Hi." He whispered
against her ear before placing a light kiss on the lobe.
Scully smiled sleepily and rolled onto her back,
cupping Mulder's jaw in her hand she pulled him
down to kiss her. He moved to pull away but Scully
slipped her hand into his hair and held him for a
deeper more passionate kiss. "I missed to you today."
She whispered after he pulled away and settled his
weight on his forearms on either side of her head.
"Mmm." He kissed her neck softly, noticing for the
first time she was only wearing her panties and a
tank. "I wasn't far away."
"I know." She mumbled, not happy with that answer.
She gently pulled on his shoulders so he rested his
weight against her body. "But I still don't like it."
Scully skimmed her fingers over his bare back,
slipping her hands under the waistband of his boxers,
pulling him even more firmly against her. "It just got
to me today."
Mulder struggled to move away from her enough to
pull her top over her head. He kissed the newly
exposed skin of her breasts slowly but thoroughly.
"Why?"
Scully sighed softly as her sleepiness segued into
arousal. "Why what?"
Mulder smiled and picked his head up to look at her.
"Why did you miss me more today then usual?"
Shrugging slightly she traced a finger up and down
his upper arm smiling shyly. "I was talking to
Benjamin-"
"What did he say?" Mulder asked quickly, pulling
himself up off of her slightly so he could look at her
better.
Scully's brow furrowed. "Nothing really. He just got
me to thinking about how much I need you. Why?"
Mulder let out a breath and lowered himself back
down. "No reason, sorry." He traced his fingers over
her belly to distract her, it worked. "You look
beautiful." He said more to himself then her as he
noticed the weight she had began to put back on. Her
skin glowed naturally and her hair had regained its
shine. She looked healthy and well.
With a slight frown Mulder traced his fingers against
her hairline. "How have you been feeling, Scully?"
She smiled at his concern, some things never
changed. Running her fingers over his cheek she gave
him a serious look. "Fine, Mulder. No headaches, no
nose bleeds, I feel fine. Actually really good
lately."
Mulder dipped his head back down to her breasts as
Scully struggled to get his boxers down. Once
removed Mulder slid down her body, kissing and
caressing along the way, taking her panties with him.
On his return trip up he rested his head on her belly
and gazed up at her. "You'll tell me if anything is
wrong, won't you Scully?"
She nodded and ran a hand through his hair. "Of
course I will, Mulder." She laughed softly. "Want to
focus on the activities on hand please?" She tugged
him back up her body and into the cradle of her
thighs.
He smiled and nodded. "I'd love to." He whispered as
he pushed into her body.
Day 78
Scully shifted tiredly in the wooden chair she spent
most of her days in while at the Medical Room. After
rubbing the heels of her hands into her eyes she
looked over at Skinner just as he shifted painfully.
With a barely restrained groan she rose from her
chair and walked across the room.
"How are you feeling?" She asked looking down at
Skinner.
"Like I've been shot." He groaned out.
His attempt at humor didn't go unnoticed by Scully,
just unacknowledged.
She kneeled down by the cot and removed his
bandage. "It's healing nicely." Scully informed
deadpan.
"Scully. What can I do to convince you I'm not
here to ruin Nova? I've told you, I'm here for the
same reason you are, to live. I don't have any
knowledge that anyone who is not a member
knowing about it."
Scully ignored what he was saying as she cleaned the
wound carefully.
"Scully?"
She looked up, brows raised, lips pressed together.
"Sir. I really don't want to talk about this. Ok?"
"No, Scully it isn't ok. I'm going to be here whether
you like it or not-"
"Well I don't." She said simply. "I doubt that will
change. And I am sorry, I truly am, but I don't trust
you. I honestly don't feel comfortable with you
around me and Mulder."
Skinner looked blankly at her. "I'm not asking you to
trust me. I know that is too much to ask of you or
Mulder. You only trust each other. I accepted that
many years ago. What I am asking is that you accept
the fact that I will be here. That just because you
don't want me here, that you are cold to me, doesn't
mean that I am just going to disappear."
Finished with the new bandage Scully stood over him
once again. "Consider it accepted."
"Scully?" Skinner called as she walked towards the
door. "Scully wait a minute please." The door shut
firmly behind her. "Jesus." Skinner muttered to the
empty room.
"Mulder!" Scully scolded as he stepped into their
room, soaking wet from the rain. She sighed
dramatically.
"Get those wet clothes off." She started to tug on his
shirt.
"Are you trying to seduce me?" He waggled his
eyebrows at her.
Scully gave him a serious look. "Mulder. I'm not
joking around. I don't want you to get sick."
"It's ok, Scully. The rain was warm, I didn't get cold
until I walked inside." He pulled on a pair of dry
sweatpants as Scully started to towel dry his hair after
sitting him down by the fire. Just as she stepped away
to hang up the dripping towel Mulder sneezed.
Twice.
"Oh Mulder." Scully sighed softly as she sat down
next to him. She ran her fingers under his jaw looking
for swollen glands.
He smiled innocently. "Don't worry, I feel fine."
Scully sat back and looked at him with a frown.
"What I am really worried about is the fact that any
cold or flue is going to go crazy down here. Not
much ventilation." She explained to Mulder's
questioning look.
Mulder patted her thigh. "Don't worry, Doc. We'll
manage."
Part 13
Day 81
Mulder knocked on Byers' door. It was swung open
by Langly. "Don't you guys ever stay in your own
rooms?" Mulder mumbled in a voice rough from a
slight cold.
Frohike stuck his head out the doorway, looking
down the hallway in both directions. "Where's
Scully?"
Mulder rolled his eyes and pushed the smaller man
back into the room and shut the door. "I need to ask
you guys a favor."
"What?" Byers asked.
Mulder shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned
back against the wall. He felt like shit for doing this,
but he didn't feel he had a choice. "Keep an eye on
Scully."
"We already do that man." Langly said with a laugh.
Mulder nodded. "Yeah. But I need you to start
keeping an eye out for Benjamin."
"Benjamin?" Byers asked in shock.
"Yes. He seems to have a little crush of Scully."
"Really? Wow." Frohike sat back in his chair in
thought.
"Yeah." Mulder rubbed his face with his hand. "I
don't know, this is driving me crazy."
"Does Scully know about this?"
Mulder looked over at Byers and shrugged
noncommittally. "I don't think so. She has mentioned
anything to me and I haven't to her. I'd just like to be
really sure before I say too much."
"In other words, you don't want to piss her off."
Langly supplied.
"Pretty much." Mulder answered nodding.
Day 82
"What is this? Prison labor?"
Mulder looked up at Scully with a humorless snort
and tossed another rock into a wagon. "Pretty much."
He mumbled. "What are you doing out here?"
Scully leaned against a tree by Mulder. "I wanted to
see how you were feeling."
Mulder smiled affectionately. "I told you this
morning I feel fine. No headache, no sore throat,
nothing."
"All right. just take it easy." She looked Mulder up
and down, still not convinced that he was well. He
looked fine though, his skin glowed from a thin
covering of sweat, the only things he worn were a
pair of jeans, his t-shirt shoved in his back pocket and
a pair of gloves to protect his hands. The only thing
that kept her from tackling him to the ground right
there was the fact that a other people were around.
"Why are you doing that anyway?" She asked with a
slight nod towards the piles of rocks.
"Clearing this field out so we can plant here next
season." He answered over the crack of rock against
rock as he tossed them into the wagon. He glanced
over at her trying to hide a smirk. "Why are you
looking at me like that?"
"Like what?"
Mulder stretched his arms over his head, pulled off
his gloves and took a long drink of water. "Like I'm a
tasty piece of meat that you are about to pounce on.
You look a little flushed too." He added she as
blushed.
Scully glared at him. "It's warm out here and I was
watching you because I am worried about your back
with all the lifting." She lied.
Mulder walked over to her with raised brows. "Likely
story."
Scully couldn't hide her smile. She shook her head
good-naturedly as she reached up to wipe a smear of
dirt off Mulder's cheek.
"Thanks Mom."
"Mulder, maybe you should get back to work. I don't
see anyone else standing around." Benjamin called as
he walked over to him.
Mulder turned, stepping away from Scully so that
Benjamin saw her for the first time. "I was just taking
a short break, Benjamin. Don't worry, I'll start up in
a minute."
Benjamin smiled quickly. "Oh I was just joking. Take
your time." He turned toward Scully. "How are you,
Dana?"
Smiling politely she nodded. "Good, thanks for
asking."
Mulder, unconsciously, took a half step closer to
Scully, keeping his eyes on Benjamin.
Scully touched Mulder's upper arm lightly. "I better
get back. I'll see you later."
"I'll walk you back." Benjamin said quickly.
Mulder kept his anger in check as Scully got up on
her toes and kissed him lightly. "Hurry back." She
smiled shyly then turned to Benjamin and nodded off
in the direction they needed to walk.
Mulder watched as they walked side by side out of
view.
Shoving the Medical Room door open with more
force then needed, Mulder walked in and scanned the
small area for Scully.
"Hello, Mulder." Skinner greeted from his reclined
position on the cot.
Mulder frowned. "Hi. Has Scully been in here?"
Skinner looked at with a half amused and half hurt
expression. "Scully doesn't stay here when I'm
awake if she can help it."
"I'm really sorry about that, Sir."
Skinner held up a hand and shoed away the thought.
"Not your fault, she means well. You know. You
don't have to call me `Sir' anymore."
Mulder smiled shyly. "Habit I think." He regarded
Skinner in thought for a moment. "Has Benjamin
been into see Scully at all?"
Skinner nodded with a shrug. "Yeah, I see him at
least once a day. Doesn't he work in here?"
"The Medical Room?" Skinner nodded. "No, not at
all. That bastard doesn't do a damn thing but order
everyone around."
Skinner raised his eyebrows in his patented `Mulder
take it easy' look. "Spill it Mulder, what's going on
with this guy?"
Mulder let out a tired sigh and sat in a chair. "As you
know he's the man how started Nova. He seemed like
a great guy when we first got here. But now. I don't
know.He doesn't lift a finger. His rules are
ridiculous..."
Skinner waited for more but nothing came. "Why are
you worried about Scully and him."
Mulder thought for a moment, he really didn't want
to tell Skinner about this. But he made the decision to
trust Skinner, and he knew how he felt about Scully.
He had always favored her. Treated her with care and
compassion. Even when he should have been tough
on her. "He seems to have a little thing for Scully if
you know what I mean."
Skinner nodded quickly. "I could tell."
"Why? What has he done?"
Skinner held up a hand. "Calm down Mulder. He
hasn't done anything. Its just his. body language.
He fusses over her." Skinner took in Mulder's sagged
shoulders and sad expression. "The affection isn't
returned Mulder, don't worry. She is kind to him, but
nothing more."
Mulder nodded slowly, taking in the information. He
pushed himself up from the chair. "Thanks, I need to
go talk to Scully."
"Mulder." Skinner called as he was about to shut the
door. "I'll keep my eye out. I know I'm not going to
be that helpful in my condition, but I'll do my best."
"Thank you, Skinner." Mulder said softly before
leaving to find Scully. He walked purposefully down
the hall, oblivious to anyone or anything. He opened
the door to their room with as much unnecessary
force as he did in the Medical Room.
With a gasp Scully sat up on the bed at the noise of
the door. She shivered as a cold sweat cooled her
skin.
Mulder completely forgot about Benjamin when he
saw Scully shake slightly, pulling her knees up to her
chest and wrapping her arms around herself. "Scully?
What's wrong?" He sat by the bed and took her face
in his hands, frightened by the look of terror in her
eyes. "What happened?"
Scully shook her head slightly to focus herself. "It
was a dream, I'm ok."
Mulder nodded and pulled her against him, kissing
the top of her head. "Tell me about it."
Scully stretched her legs out in front of her, but kept
her arms, and Mulder's wrapped about her upper
body. With him beside her she didn't feel the need to
completely protect herself, he was comforting and
safe. She thought in silence for a moment. The whole
thing was a blur. "I was being robbed." She thought
out loud in a barely audible whisper. "Not of material
items, but of part of me. Like I was being taken and
left behind all at once."
"Maybe a flash back of your abduction." Mulder
supplied softly.
Scully nodded lazily. "Maybe." For some reason she
didn't think that was it. This dream was different. "A
person took it from me. Not an alien. I'm sure it was
a person. I don't know why but I know it was."
Mulder made a soft affirmative noise. "Well." He
said pulling away enough to push her hair back from
her face. "It was just a dream and it's over now."
Giving a weak smile Scully nodded and laid back
down on the bed, ready to sleep again. "I'm really
tired tonight."
Mulder tucked the blankets around her, their talk
could wait. She was shaken by her dream, he didn't
want to upset her anymore. "Go back to sleep."
She nodded again, already halfway there. "Wake me
if I start to dream again." She mumbled rolling onto
her side.
"Of course." He whispered even though she was
already asleep.
Part 14
Day 84
Scully squinted as she stepped out into the sun. The
brightness didn't help the sick feeling she was
fighting since morning. With a deep breath of the
fresh air Scully walked a few feet in to the shade of
the trees.
Leaning back against a tree she let the wave of
nausea pass.
Finally feeling like herself, Scully looked up into the
trees around her. "Hello?" She said softly to a young
woman sitting a short distance away. Surprised she
hadn't seen her when she first walked out she slowly
made her way over.
The woman looked up and smiled weakly. "Hi."
Scully took in the sight. She had been crying; her
bright blue eyes were still red rimmed and damp. Her
long brown hair was pulled loosely back, she was
trim and tall. Scully thought she was beautiful with a
sprinkling of light freckles over her nose and
basically an innocent expression. "I'm Dana Scully."
She said sitting down in the dirt near her.
The woman nodded, uninterested. "Yeah, you're the
doctor. My father has been talking about you."
"Your father?"
"Benjamin. I'm Amanda Walters."
Scully starred at her slightly for a moment. Benjamin
must have had her when he was young, she had to be
in her early thirties and he was fifty. "I didn't know
Benjamin had a daughter."
Amanda let out a humorless snort. "He doesn't talk
about me much."
Scully didn't need to think back to her psych rotation
in medical school to know she was depressed and
ended to talk to someone. "Why's that?"
Amanda looked her up and down for a moment. "My
father is in love with you." She said nastily, dropping
that particular bombshell to throw Scully. Since she
had come to Nova, Dana Scully was all her father
talked of, when they actually spoke to one another.
Frankly she was just plain sick of hearing it.
Slack jawed, Scully only starred at Amanda for a few
heartbeats. "Excuse me?"
Amanda barely held back a smirk. "He talks about
you all the time, Dana. I've seen it before. You are an
attractive, younger, powerful and smart woman.
That's what he wants." She couldn't keep the smirk
away any longer. "And my father always gets what
he wants."
Scully felt a heavy knot in her stomach, different
from the one she'd just gotten over. This one was
bred from seven years of being abducted, kidnapped,
attacked, and being around psychotic monsters in the
form of men and women. "I. I don't believe that,
Amanda."
She shrugged and looked away.
Scully stood shakily, her thoughts an unorganized
jumble. "Well, Amanda, I need to get back to the
Medical Room. I'm sure I'll be seeing you."
Amanda shielded her eyes from the sun and nodded.
"Bye, Dana." She called in a slightly ashamed tone as
Scully walked away looking confused but even more
then that, frightened.
Leg bouncing impatiently, arms crossed and a grim
expression on her face, Scully waited for Mulder. He
wasn't late in the least, Scully was just anxious.
The door open a half hour later, Scully still in the
same position as before, and a hot sweaty Mulder
walked in. "Hey." He said not wasting anytime in
pulling off his dirty clothes.
"I have to talk to you." Scully said jumping up from
her chair.
"Talk away." He said as he heated water to wash
with.
"Mulder this is serious."
He turned to her, regarding her calmly, which he
learned was always the best way to handle a nervous
Scully. "I'm listening, go ahead."
Scully paced back and forth. "I met Benjamin's
daughter today-"
"I didn't know he had a daughter."
Scully shot a threatening look at him for interrupting.
"I didn't either. Her name is Amanda, she says he
doesn't talk about her much. I didn't get a chance to
get into it at all. She said something. I. I don't
know what to think about it." Scully stared at the
floor in thought. She still didn't know if she wanted
to believe Amanda or not. It made sense, the way he
followed her around, spoke softly, almost intimately.
But he seemed so honest to her. He knew how she
felt about Mulder.
Mulder stepped in front up her, taking her upper arms
in his hands so that she looked up at him. "Was it
about Benjamin's feeling for you?"
She looked up at him in shock. "How did you know?"
Her voice a strained whisper.
With a sigh he sat down on the bed. "He's. He
hasn't been hiding it from me. It's obvious he doesn't
think I am good enough for you." Mulder shut is
eyes, the way he used to when picturing the profile of
a murder in his head. "He sees you are the only
woman suitable for him. He's God here. It's his
place, no one questions him. You are the only other
person that people won't question. As the only doctor
here no one has the knowledge to question what you
do or say. It's. logical in its own way."
Scully wrapped her arms around her waist
protectively. Suddenly feeling vulnerable and used.
"So what should I do now?"
Mulder sucked in a breath. "Well. don't encourage
him-"
"I wasn't leading him on!" She interrupted
defensively.
Mulder held up a hand in a gentle manner. "I'm not
saying that, not at all. I know you weren't. I guess.
just be careful. Try not to be alone with him or talk to
long. Ok?"
Nodding Scully leaned her head against his shoulder.
"You ok?" He asked softly.
Scully wanted to say she was fine, but she promised
she would tell him anything that was wrong. Not that
she could hide much even if she wanted to. They
were in close quarters. Amazingly enough, to Scully,
she didn't feel smothered. She felt loved. "I'm ok.
Just really tired today."
He kissed her forehead softly. "Well, Dr. Mulder has
a cure of that."
Scully tried to hold back her smile, it didn't work.
"Yeah?"
"Mmm hmm." He said moving away from her.
"Sleep." He laid her down gently and pulled a blanket
over her body. "Good night." He kissed her softly as
she closed her eyes with a lazy, sleepy and happy
smile.
Scully shivered. She was cold. And alone. No. she
wasn't alone. But Mulder wasn't with her, half of her
was missing. She needed that half. Something was
wrong, she could tell.
She opened her eyes, forcing them to stay up. It was
dark. The only light from the fire in the corner of the
room. It's faint red glow cast more shadows then
what seemed normal. Turning the room in a bubble
of darkness, furniture not visible, the walls
claustrophobically close.
"Mulder?"
Scully's voice echoed against the stone wall. Her
breathing was forced and thick. A lump filled her
throat. Tears welled in her eyes.
She was panicking and she knew it.
She just knew she needed to find Mulder.
Scully tried to slip off the bed. But she couldn't. A
heavy weight settled over her midsection. Scully
struggled against what seemed her own body. Once
too breathless to continue she laid still and called for
Mulder. Over and over. But no answer came.
Suddenly she stopped her yelling, her crying, almost
stopped breathing and listened. She wasn't alone. But
who ever it was wasn't Mulder.
She jumped as the bed dipped with the weight. She
froze. Waiting. Waiting for anything to happen.
Something did.
A hand, a human hand, reached out and touched her
cheek.
And Scully screamed. Loud and long. For Mulder,
for anyone.
Her screaming continued as the hand slid down her
body. Over her neck, cupping her breast, and settling
on the weight holding her body down. The whole
time she fought back, flailing her arms, kicking her
legs.
Finally, after what seemed like hours of fighting, she
hit the mysterious person.
"Scully!! Wake up!" Mulder yelled as he had to back
away to avoid her blows. He had been calling her
softly for ten minutes, avoiding touching her for free
it would only make her dream worse, but he couldn't
wake her easily.
Her eyes flew open with a gasp as she was able to sit
up. Her eyes struggled to adjust to the glow from the
fire, her breathing frantic, sweat dripped from her
brow and ran down her spine.
Mulder reached out and placed his arm around her
shoulders, pulling her to him. He murmured soft
wordless words and stroked her hair back until she
calmed slightly. "It's all right." He said into her ear.
"It was just a dream, sweetheart."
Scully shook her head against his chest. "No. It
wasn't a dream." She whispered. It was real. It
seemed so real.
Part 15
Day 86
Scully was determined to find Amanda. She had
spent practically every spare moment yesterday
looking. But it wasn't as easy as she thought it
would. After asking around it turned out that Amanda
didn't work. When Mulder had heard that he
mumbled something about not being surprised since
Benjamin didn't work either. Many people didn't
even know Amanda existed.
Scully had no place else to look but outside of
Nova's busy areas. With a discouraged sigh she
stepped out into the sunlight. It didn't work yesterday
but she headed straight for the spot she met Amanda
a few days ago. "Amanda?" Scully called as she
walked about the thickly treed area. "Amanda, are
you here?"
Amanda stepped out from behind a tree, book in
hand. "Yeah?"
Scully smiled politely. "Hi. I've been looking for
you."
Amanda leaned against a tree, arms crossing
protectively. "What for?"
"I ah." Scully tucked her hair behind her ears and
tentatively made her way over. "I was hoping we
could talk about your father."
Amanda looked away with a soft sigh. "What do you
want to know?"
Scully wasn't really sure what she wanted to ask. All
she wanted was to understand. Scully knew it
wouldn't be easy to get information out of Amanda
so she'd best start slowly. "I never heard why he
started Nova."
Amanda answered, monotone, looking at the ground.
"When I was six my mother was abducted, she was
gone for a over a week. When she came back. she
just wasn't the same." Amanda shook her head lost in
thought. "I don't remember her too well. But I knew
something was wrong. A month later she killed
herself. My dad immediately started building Nova.
It's been his life even since." She finally looked back
over at Scully. "Except the random affair."
Scully shifted uncomfortably. For a few reasons. The
topic of abduction was touchy, she and Mulder
decided they wouldn't tell anyone. And Scully just
didn't know how to handle Benjamin's feelings.
"Amanda. Your father knows I'm involved with
someone."
Amanda laughed softly. "That never stopped him
before."
"What are you reading?" Scully asked to change the
subject.
She held up the book, displaying the title. "Sylvia
Plath. Ever read her?"
Scully nodded. "Yeah, a long time ago. Great work."
Scully thought back, Plath was known for her poems
about her father. They certainty weren't poems about
love. They were about remorse, hatred, and anger.
"Dana?"
Scully looked over at a young man she recognized
but didn't know the name of. "Yes?"
"I've been looking all over for you! There was an
accident and Jack broke his arm."
Scully glanced at Amanda as she started to walk
quickly away. "Amanda, I'll talk to you soon." Scully
cursed under her breath, she felt she was getting
some where with Amanda and now she had to leave.
In the heavy daze of half sleep Scully heard Mulder
come in the door. She didn't move, only mumbled a
hello.
"In bed again." Mulder noted pulling off his dirty
clothes.
"I had a long day." She said finally rolling over.
"Yeah I heard. The idiot fell out of a tree." Mulder
said laughing. "Is Jack ok?"
Scully watched him with interest as he scrubbed the
dirt from his body. She had always found the way a
man regarded his body fascinating. Mulder always
spent a good amount of time washing his neck and
shoulders, just skimming his legs and arms. He left
his hot skin damp to evaporate in the cool air of their
room, his bare chest glowing in the firelight. "Yeah,
he'll be fine." She answered distracted. "I talked to
Amanda today." Scully sat up and leaned against the
headboard as Mulder sat near her hip.
"What about?"
Scully quickly told him the story of Benjamin's wife.
Mulder listened silently as she told him about
Amanda's choice of reading. "I want to talk to her
more Mulder. She seemed like she wanted to open up
about Benjamin." Scully whispered for no reason.
Mulder nodded and laid back on the bed, his head in
Scully's lap. "Just be careful. Scully?"
She tipped her head to the side quizzically she
stroked her hands through his hair.
Mulder leaned his head side to side, following her
caresses. "Don't tread on Benjamin's toes."
Scully lifted his head so that she could slide down the
bed. With his head pillowed on her breasts she kissed
his forehead. "Good point."
"I have them occasionally." He said flipping over to
lie on his side beside Scully. "Sometimes I even have
good ideas." Placing a hand on her hip he rolled her
over onto her side to face him.
"Mmmm. This is a good idea." She murmured as he
kissed and sucked her neck. She returned the favor on
his freshly washed skin.
Mulder slipped his hands under her tee shirt,
immediately cupping her breasts.
"Very good idea." She laughed softly as she tenderly
rubbed her nose against his before placing an open
mouthed kiss on his waiting lips. Skimming her
fingers down his sides, causing him to squirm
slightly, she pushed away his boxers.
Mulder struggled with the buttons of her jeans,
desperate not to break contact with her lips.
Scully laughed softly when he cursed under his
breath, pulling away to tear her shirt off and tug her
jeans and panties down.
"Don't laugh at me." He said with a smile.
Scully cried out softly in surprise as he pressed to
fingers into her body. "I. I wouldn't dream of it."
Mulder suckled her ear lobe as his hand worked her
body steadily.
Scully took a deep breath and gently pushed his hand
away. "Enough of that." She breathed out. "I want
you."
Mulder kissed her, long and deep as he pulled her leg
up over his hip. "This ok?"
"Mmm. fine by me."
"Good." He said, slowly pressing into her.
Letting her eyes shut she pressed her forehead against
his shoulder, meeting his thrusts with the help of one
of his hands under her body, his palm pressed against
the small of her back.
Mulder nudged her cheek with his nose. "Look at
me."
With a few deep breaths she was able to force her
face up to his. She pried her eyes open and looked
into his. The passion and adoration that she saw
almost scared her. His dark eyes looked into hers
unwavering, as he hips moved faster and deeper.
With an awkward hand Mulder reached between their
sweaty bodies and into her slick folds.
Scully's eyes snapped closed as continuous waves of
pleasure pulled her under. She relaxed completely
against the bed, barely aware of Mulder's last few
desperate stabs into her body as she struggled to
catch her breath.
Mulder rested his head on her shoulder, feeling
Scully's rapid pulse beneath his lips.
Mulder woke with a start, not knowing how long he
was asleep. It took him a moment to realize it was a
knock at the door that woke him. Disentangling
himself from Scully he pulled on his discarded
boxers and stumbled on legs, weak with sex and
sleep, to the door. He opened it just a small amount,
rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands.
Benjamin was on the other side. Mulder didn't know
whether to laugh or be annoyed, it was obvious what
he just woke up from. "Benjamin, what can I do for
you?"
Benjamin frowned and tried to look around Mulder
and into the room.
Mulder glanced over his should to check to see if
Scully was covered, she wasn't. He quickly stepped
out of the room and closed the door behind him with
raise brows, waiting for Benjamin to speak.
"I need to talk with Dana for a moment."
Mulder nodded his head toward the room. "She's
sleeping."
"Well, could you tell her to come to my room. I have
something I need to speak with her about."
Mulder shook his head with a barely restrained smirk.
"I think she's out for the night." He slipped that in for
no reason other than male pride. "I'd be happy to give
her a message."
Benjamin's eyes narrowed slightly. "Ok. Tell her my
daughter, Amanda, wants to work in the Medical
Room with her tomorrow."
Mulder couldn't keep the look of shock off his face.
"Oh."
"I'll be sure to check up on them through out the day.
Just let her know that Amanda will be there, at some
point during the day."
Mulder nodded. "I'll do that. Good night, Benjamin."
He placed his hand on the door knob and opened it a
crack. Mulder watched with equal amounts of horror
and amazement as Benjamin craned his neck trying
to look into the darkened room. Mulder stepped to
the side so that he couldn't see Scully. "Good night."
He repeated firmly.
Benjamin didn't say a word as he took a step back
from the door and walked down the hallway.
"Bastard." Mulder mumbled as he walked back into
their room.
Part 16
Day 87
"Are you sure something isn't wrong?" Skinner asked
for the- hell he lost track hours ago.
Scully glared over at him. She knew she looked
horrible. She felt horrible. Mulder had woken her up
in the early morning, she had had that dream again. It
played out the same way as the first time. It still
seemed so real. Neither of them had been able to get
back to sleep. Then an hour before she needed to get
out of bed she started to feel ill. She still felt ill and it
was after noon. All Scully wanted to do was go back
to bed, but even that wasn't perfect. The fear of
having that dream without Mulder there to wake her
scared her enough to ignore the fatigue she felt. "I'm
fine, just tired." She explained monotone.
Skinner just sighed and shifted restlessly on the bed.
He didn't want to sit around anymore. He had always
hated being waited on, the military taught a person to
fend for himself. He never would have been able to
make it to Nova without that knowledge. The only
thing that was saving him from insanity today was
Jack. He would be in for a few days, but he was
asleep. So Skinner was stuck with watching Scully do
random things or read. He was sick of reading. "I'll
get it." He called after a knock at the door.
"No you won't." Scully held up hand to stop
Skinner's struggle to sit up. "Oh, Amanda." Scully
said surprised as she opened the door for Amanda to
walk in. "I didn't think you were going to show up."
Amanda shrugged as she stepped into the room. "I
woke up late."
"I'd say so." Scully muttered. "This is Walter Skinner
and you know Jack." She said pointing the back of
the room where Jack's bed was curtained in as he
slept.
"You're Benjamin's daughter?" Skinner asked
extending his hand.
Amanda shook it half heartedly. "Yeah. I prefer
Amanda though."
Skinner cracked a smile. "Sure."
Hands on hips Amanda looked around the Medical
Room, picking up jars and books only to drop them
sloppily back down.
Scully ignored what she was doing, but cleared her
throat to capture Amanda's attention. "Well,
Amanda, if you want to help out around here you'll
need to show up on time. Seven, like everyone else. I
don't know
how much you'll be able to do, but we'll work on it-"
Scully was interrupted by Mulder walking in the
door. She couldn't help a small smile just at the sight
of him. "I was wondering if you were going to show
up."
Mulder laughed softly. "Yeah, running a little late
today. I can't really stay either. I just wanted to see
how you were feeling."
She shrugged. "Better. Fox Mulder this is Amanda
Walters."
Mulder smiled politely and shook her hand. "Nice to
meet you. I'm glad to here where will be someone
around to give Scully a hand." Mulder looked past
Amanda to Skinner. "And to give Skinner someone
else to annoy all day."
Skinner glared, with humor, at Mulder. "If you had
been sitting here as long as I have, Mulder, you'd be
going crazy too."
Mulder nodded. "Probably." He turned back to Scully
and kissed her quickly. "I better get going. I'll see
you later."
"Mulder! Don't forget to eat some lunch!" She yelled
as he started down the hallway. Shaking her head
with a frown Scully turned back to Amanda. "Come
on, you can help me bring in the clean sheets from
outside."
Amanda shrugged, indifferent to the idea and walked
out behind Scully. "I know everyone calls Fox
Mulder, Mulder. But why does he call you Scully
instead of Dana?"
"We met while working for the FBI, old habit I
guess."
"How long have you known him?"
Scully wasn't sure if she felt comfortable with this
game of twenty questions. "Over seven years."
"You've been involved with him for seven years?"
Amanda asked in shock.
"Well," Scully pulled sheets down from a line where
she hung them to dry, folding as she spoke. "not is so
many words. He's been my best friend for that long.
Only recently we decided to go further then that, so
to speak."
"You seem very close." Amanda noted softly as she
took a pile of sheets into her arms.
Scully nodded fondly as they stepped through the
doorway and back into the confines of the cool rocks.
"I've never been closer to anyone."
They were silent the rest of the walk to the Medical
Room.
Scully smiled when she saw Langly waiting outside.
"I just can't get rid of you guys lately. Every time I
turn around I see one of you. Langly this is Amanda."
Without giving Langly a chance to say anything
Amanda made something of a greeting type noise and
walked into the Medical Room.
"Bitch." Langly muttered.
Scully looked into the Medical Room. "I'd like to
disagree with you. but I don't think I can." With a
sigh she turned back to him. "What can I do for you?"
"Oh. Nothing. I just was wondering how you are
feeling."
Scully smiled knowingly at him. "Mulder has you
watching me doesn't he?"
"Uh." Langly shifted on his feet. "I don't know
what you mean. He mentioned to me that you haven't
been well lately so I was just. checking."
With that same smile Scully patted his arm. "You
never could lie to me, Langly. Tell Mulder I'm fine."
Shaking her head she walked in to the Medical Room
where Skinner and Amanda were making small talk.
"So you've been living here since you were twelve."
Skinner asked in shock.
"Yeah, I went to school fifty miles from here. But
I've always stayed close by."
Scully listened in as she put away the sheets the
Amanda had left in the center of the room.
"Why did you want to work in here with Scully?"
Scully's head shot up as she waited for an answer,
she was pretty curious about that herself.
Amanda smirked. "Well. I wanted to see what made
the woman my father is so obsessed with tick."
A wave of nausea washed over her. Without saying a
word she walked out of the room, slamming the door
behind her.
"That was low." Skinner said to Amanda. "It's
obvious she isn't feeling well and you say something
to upset her."
Amanda shrugged. "I didn't know she'd be react that
way."
"Bullshit!" Skinner yelled, pushing himself to sitting
position. "You did that on purpose."
With her hands on her hips Amanda glared at him.
"What the hell does that mean?"
"You've got this wonderful little daddy's girl act all
worked out." Skinner spat out, rather loudly. "You
can come and go as you please. You don't have to
work. You came here, so you must be lonely. Anyone
can see that. Not that I blame you, your father
obviously doesn't pay much attention to you. You
said that to Scully because you were you're hurting,
what's easier then dealing with your own pain?
Making other's feel like shit. Well that act has to go.
I don't want to listen to it, and Scully doesn't need it,
and you need to grow up and move on. Stop being a
little brat. No one wants to be friends with a brat!"
Scully smiled softly as she leaned against the wall
outside of the Medical Room. That was so Skinner.
Not much gets by him and he doesn't deal with
people's shit. And he was always trying to protect
her, whether she wanted him to or not. She felt guilty
for treating him so badly earlier, but until now she
just hadn't been sure who he was looking out for.
Himself, Krycek, God knows. She should have
known better, as always, Skinner, in his own way,
was still looking out for them.
Day 89
With her hand clamped over her mouth Scully rolled
onto her side on the bed. She was going to throw up.
She knew it. Fighting it for the last few hours had
finally caught up with her. Clenching her jaw she lay
still, hoping it would pass like the other times. But it
didn't.
Falling to her knees beside the bed she emptied her
stomach into a bucket that from that moment on
would be used for only that.
"Jesus Scully." Mulder said softly, rubbing her back
with one hand, passing her a glass of water with the
other. "Better?" He asked as she sat back against the
bed.
Scully nodded as she sipped her water.
"What's going on? You've been feeling ill for a week
now."
She shook her head. "I don't know. I really don't."
Mulder frowned as he watched her carefully drink
water. "Alright, let's get you in bed." Basically
picking her up Mulder tucked her under the covers. "I
want you to stay home today. Catch up on your
sleep."
"I don't want to sleep if you aren't here." She
admitted softly.
He stroked her cheek lightly with his fingertips. "I
know. But you haven't been sleeping much at all. I
know it's because you are scared. But it isn't going to
help when you are sick."
Nodding, Scully turned her head to the side and
stared blankly at the far wall.
"Hey." Mulder turned her face back to him. "I'll
check on you, I'll have the Gunmen come too. Ok?"
"I'll just go to the Medical Room." Scully knew she
shouldn't. She was lightheaded and too tired to even
think about getting up.
Mulder shook his head firmly. "Don't even try it.
You're staying here. I'll talk to Judy and take care of
everything." He kissed her forehead for a long
heartbeat before standing to clean up from Scully's
morning activity. "I'll check on you as often as I
can."
She nodded lazily.
"I'm going to be late." He muttered to himself. "Bye,
sweetheart."
"Bye." She said as he closed the door. "Hurry back."
She whispered to the empty room.
She knew she was having that dream again. She
could tell by the strange feeling of being weighed too
the bed.
Immediately she chanted for herself to wake up. It
didn't work. It never worked.
Opening her eyes she was meet with the usual dark
room. She could see the shadowy figure who was the
mysterious visitor. The large hand grazed over her
face lightly, despite her pleas and whimpering. The
hand, heavy and un-dreamlike warm, traveled its
usual course down her body. Over her breasts, down
her abdomen, into the junction of her thighs, finally
skimming over her legs.
Scully twisted and fought as much as possible.
Suddenly she stilled. The hand moved away from her
body, hovering over her face. She focused in the low
light on the hand, now glistening with blood.
Scully sat up quickly, trying to control her churning
stomach, with a gasp. After a few deep breaths she
laid back into the bed, staring at the rocks above her
head. Shivering, not with chilliness, she wrapped the
blankets tightly around her and waited for Mulder to
come back.
Day 91
Mulder stood stiffly from the chair he had been
sitting in for the past few hours watching Scully sleep
at a knock on the door.
She flat out refused to go to sleep if he wasn't there
to wake her, no matter how tired she was.
In turn Mulder refused to let her go to the Medical
Room until she was feeling better.
With an audible sigh Mulder stepped out into the
hallway with Benjamin.
"I was hoping to talk to Dana."
"Sorry." Mulder said, not meaning it. "She's asleep, I
don't want to wake her."
Benjamin nodded, understanding. "How is she?"
"Not too well. She's very tired and sick to her
stomach."
Benjamin made a small thoughtful `hmph' sound.
"Maybe she's pregnant."
A tight knot of pain settled in Mulder's gut. "We
can't have children." He said as smoothly as possible,
determined not to show emotion in front of
Benjamin.
"Maybe you're not the father."
Mulder stared at the older man, completely
dumbfounded. "Scully is infertile." He spoke without
thinking. Immediately he cursed himself silently.
That was not his information to give out. Scully
herself barely told anyone. It was primal male pride
that made him say that.
To Mulder's joy Benjamin looked disappointed.
Mulder could only hope that fact might discourage
Benjamin's infatuation with Scully. "Well. give her
my best." He turned on his heels and walked down
the hall.
"I'll be sure to do that." Mulder mumbled using every
last bit of his restraint not to smash Benjamin's head
into the rock wall. But if he did that he knew
Benjamin would kick him out of Nova. Mulder knew
the only reason that he hadn't been already was
because Benjamin knew that Scully would leave with
him. Mulder wasn't sure if that was a blessing or not.
Part 17
Day 93
"Is that rain?" Scully asked sleepily at the soft
pounding echoing off the rocks.
"Think so." Mulder mumbled as he rubbed his nose
under Scully's ear, inhaling the musk of spent
arousal.
Scully had finally begun to feel better, and there was
only one thing she wanted to do. Mulder wasn't
complaining.
Scully turned in his arms, so that she faced his chest.
She traced her fingers over the muscles of his upper
body which had become thick and firm with hard
labor. He was healthy. She suddenly felt incredibly
small next to him. She pushed her herself away
slightly, taking in the sight of his heavy body partly
covered by sheets.
"What?" Mulder asked pulled her back against him.
Scully pressed her smiling face into the junction of
his neck. "Nothing."
Shifting lethargically Mulder settled into the bed. "I
don't believe you." He mumbled pouting.
She let out a breathy laugh as sleep started to
overtake her. The heat of Mulder's body, the distance
sounds of rain, and Mulder's heartbeat beneath her
ear lulled her into a restful sleep.
Mulder felt Scully's breathing slow and even out. Her
grip around his waist loosened slightly and Mulder
gently laid her from her side onto her back. Scully
leaned into his hand unconsciously as he brushed hair
from her face. He watched as she slipped deeper and
deeper into to sleep. She looked relaxed and peaceful.
Mulder knew it was only a matter of time before the
dream came, it always did.
With a soft sigh Mulder settled deeper into the bed,
wrapping his arms around her. Pushing his thoughts
from his mind he forced himself to sleep, knowing
that at any moment he would have to wake Scully
and stay up with her the rest of the night.
Day 94
"Hey, Scully." Mulder greeted as he stepped into the
room. The door shut and Mulder stood frozen by
Scully's angry gaze. "What'd I do?"
Scully stood up, arms crossed over her chest with
tears in her eyes. "You know what you did."
Mulder thought for a moment in silence. Trying to
find a way to fix this. "I. I'm sorry, I don't know
what you're talking about."
She took a step towards him, a small tentative step.
"You told Benjamin I can't have children." Her
words were nothing more then a whisper, trying to
hide the secret from the fictitious ears of their room.
"Shit!" Mulder hissed out clenching his eyes shut.
With a deep breath, preparing for the battle this
would cause he turned fully to Scully. "I'm so sorry
Scully. I didn't mean to tell him that. He pissed me
off and it just slipped out."
Scully looked down at the ground, unable-unwilling
to look at him. It hurt too much. "What's going to
slip out next?" Her whisper did not hide the anger.
"That I was abducted-"
"We said we wouldn't tell anyone that."
Scully's eyes- filled with tears- shot up to his. "I
thought you understood that my infertility is just as
personal as my abduction, guess I was wrong." She
made a move to go to the door but Mulder grabbed
her arm firmly.
"Scully, please listen to me." He said desperately.
Scully look at where he was holding her arm tightly.
"Mulder, let go of me."
Mulder immediately loosed his grip letting his hand
slide down so he held her wrist loosely. "I want to
talk about this."
"There's nothing to talk about. Your ego got in the
way of you being respectful of me. That's it." She
tugged her hand away from him.
"Please don't walk away from me." He begged softly
as she opened that door.
Scully paused in the doorway, but didn't turn around.
"I just need time to think. I won't leave Nova." With
that she shut the door firmly behind her.
"Fuck." Mulder spat at the empty room as he sat on
the edge of the bed and buried his face in his hands.
Scully stepped in the empty church room, dimly lit
by two lanterns. She didn't bother to light anymore;
she wanted to hide in the darkness. Sitting on a heavy
wooden bench she let out a long sad sigh. She was
tired, physically and mentally. The tears resting in
her eyes wouldn't fall. That would take too much
energy. Pillowing her head on a folded arm she laid
on her side on the bench, pulling her legs up close to
her body.
"Scully?"
Scully jolted awake, taking a moment to figure out
where she was. She let out a soft sigh when she
recognized the church and sat up to face Skinner.
"Are you all right?"
She nodded and cleared the sleep from her throat.
"Yes. How are you feeling?" She asked to change the
subject. Skinner left the Medical Room two days ago,
even though he wasn't allowed to work for another
few weeks.
Nodding he sat gingerly beside her. "Not bad. Sore
and stiff but better then lying still all day long. Is
everything ok?"
She fought as hard as she could, but the tears still
came. Softly and silently other then her humorless
laugh, but they came none the least. "Not really, no."
Skinner tentatively placed his hand on her back.
"What happened?"
She shook her head quickly.
He pulled his hand away and sat back on the bench.
"You have that look you get when Mulder does
something to piss you off and you're trying your
damnedest to hate him for it because you know you
should. But you love him too much to stay mad as
long as you think you should."
Scully smiled despite herself. "That obvious?"
Skinner returned her smile. "Only to me, I've seen it
enough to pick it out now." He paused and looked at
her carefully. "What did he do? Do I need to go kick
his ass for it?"
Again Scully smiled. "No. Well. maybe. Can I
think about it?"
Skinner chuckled and nodded. Then watched her
expectantly.
Knowing she wasn't going to get away with not
telling Skinner easily she gave him a short response.
"He said some things to another person that he
shouldn't have. Basic Mulder mistakes I guess."
Skinner was silent for a moment. "Did this have
anything to do with Benjamin?" When she didn't
answer, didn't even look at him, he went on. "There's
something you need to try and understand about
Mulder. He'll do anything for you, you know that. He
wants to protect you, and I know you don't
necessarily like that. But it's instinctive. Neither of us
wants anything bad to happen to you. And we both
see Benjamin as a threat, so.. He is angry and
defensive around him. I know that isn't an excuse,
but it's a reason."
Scully slowly took in all this information. She wasn't
sure what to say, about Mulder or about Skinner.
Against her best instincts Scully had begun to look
toward Skinner for guidance, protection, and plain
old friendship-something new for the two of them.
And Mulder. She loved Mulder more then she ever
thought possible. And like Skinner had said, she
couldn't stay mad at him. It's hard.impossible to
stay mad at your other half.
So she sat on the church bench with Skinner for a bit,
in silence, looking forward at the paintings in the
front of the room. Suddenly Scully quickly looked
over at Skinner. "What are you doing here anyway?"
Skinner blushed. To Scully's amazement Skinner
blushed. "Almost dying. a few times over the
course of a few months really makes a person rethink
life I guess."
"I didn't know you were religious."
Skinner shrugged slightly. "I haven't gone to church
in years. But... I think I will start again."
Scully smiled softly. "I'd love for you to come with
me on Sundays if you'd like?"
Skinner looked over at her and nodded
appreciatively. "I'd live that." He smiled then
gestured with his head towards the door. "Get out of
here. Go let Mulder know he isn't a dead man."
With a slight laughed Scully left, but not after a
lingering look into the church and one of the men that
never stopped amazing her.
Day 96
"Can I help you?" Benjamin asked coolly to the three
men that walked up to him as he left the Medical
Room.
"We are friends of Scully." Langly said.
Benjamin nodding giving them a look that said `so
what?'
"I take it you were just visiting her. How is she
feeling today?" Byers said trying to make up for
Langly's bluntness.
"Good." Benjamin made a move to step around them,
but all five foot three inches of Frohike stepped in his
way.
"It's good to know we have one more person to
watch over her." He said with a face that passed off
as wanting to punch Benjamin in the gut. "We
worry." He gestured to the other two men. "Skinner
does also, he is very close to her. And of course
Mulder. But you already know that." Frohike soberly
scowled at him.
Benjamin nodded. "She's a wonderful woman,
doesn't surprise me that people care."
"People-we really care." Langly said.
Benjamin looked at them all in turn. "Is there a point
to this?"
"Yeah. The point is that we don't like you hanging
around her-" Byers cut Frohike off with a look.
Benjamin smiled slyly. "Well. this is my place. You
don't like it you are welcome to leave."
The Gunmen were all silent, sending none too happy
messages with their eyes.
Frohike spoke slowly, and with the knowledge of
knowing Mulder for many years. "You just might
want to be careful. Mulder is a protective man, and
he tends to have a short fuse when it comes to
Scully."
Benjamin raised his eyebrows, not losing his smile.
"For some reason I'm not frightened."
All the men turned as Scully opened the door. She
smiled at the Gunmen. "I thought I heard people
talking out here. What are you going here, guys?"
Langly shrugged. "We are on a break and came to say
hello."
Scully continued to smile and opened the door wide
for them. "Come on in then, I'm all alone at the
moment." They filed in and Scully looked over at
Benjamin who had a strange look in his eyes. One
she couldn't quite put her finger on. But one she felt
she had seen before. Many times. She gave him a
slight, uncomfortable smile and a curt nod as a
goodbye then stepped into the privacy of the Medical
Room.
Part 18
Day 99
Skinner looked back and forth between the book he
was reading at his table and the door which was just
knocked on. He really didn't feel like spending the
energy needed to stand up. "Come in." He called.
Amanda slowly opened the door. "Hi Walter."
Skinner put the book down. "Amanda, how are you?"
He asked surprised to see her.
"I'm fine. Dana asked me to stop by and see how you
were feeling."
"Oh. I'm feeling better." Skinner looked at her in
silence for a moment. Amanda looked uneasy, like an
animal ready to flee. "Why don't you sit down, we
can talk for a while."
Amanda chewed her lip for a moment before
nodding. "Ok." Amanda sat with Skinner. She smiled
shyly. She liked Skinner. Even after he had bawled
her out that one day for being rude to Scully he didn't
seem to hold it against her.
"Are you enjoying working with Scully?" Skinner
asked leaning back in his chair relaxing, trying to put
her at ease.
"Yes, I really am. I haven't had the opportunity to do
much of anything around here." Amanda laughed
softly, shyly.
Skinner smiled at her timidity. "I'm not allowed to do
anything. I know how you feel. Well at least about
the work, but not about your father."
Amanda's head shot up. "What do you mean?"
Skinner was flustered for a moment by her panicked
look. "Just, I can't imagine how it must be. He seems
to be a very controlling person."
Amanda looked down at the tabletop, draw tiny
obscure patterns with her fingertips. "It is. Made it
hard to grow up I guess."
Skinner nodded slightly. "Yeah. It must be hard for
people to look at you as anyone other then
Benjamin's daughter."
"Yeah." She nodded lost in thought. "I'm little
Amanda who has lived in Nova all her life because
her mother was crazy. People don't really take me
seriously. Like you, that's what you thought when we
first met. I was being a bitch because, you were right,
I didn't really know what else to do. So I was a
spoiled brat."
Skinner looked at her squarely. "I don't see you like
that anymore. There's a lot more to you Amanda.
You just need to let it out."
Day 103
"Scully, wake up." Mulder said in a soothing voice.
But she continued to whimper and struggle in her
dream world. "Come on, Scully, wake up." He
firmly. She began to fight, her arms pushing away
invisible threats, her feet kicking for purchase, her
body pushing off the bed trying to break away from
the mysterious restraint she had told Mulder about.
"Scully, wake up." Mulder ducked as her hand came
towards him, but not fast enough. The back of her
knuckles hit his cheek bone with a loud sound
somewhere in between a smack and a crack.
Wincing, Mulder rolled away slightly as Scully jolted
awake from the painful contact.
"Mulder!"
"I'm here." He unconsciously groaned out with his
hand over his eye.
Scully turned towards him in the dim light breathing
heavily and trembling. Shaking herself from the last
of her dream she pulled his hand away from his eye.
"Oh Mulder. I'm so sorry." She dabbed at the smear
of blood with her thumb.
"I'm ok. Are you?"
She nodded only half listening to him. "I want to get
that cleaned up. You stay here, I'll go to the Medical
Room." She slid off the bed and pulled on enough
clothes to be warm enough for her short trip.
"Scully. Don't worry about it. Come back to bed."
She turned to him as she stepped into her shoes. "It'll
make me feel better, ok? I'll only be gone a minute."
Mulder sighed and sat back against the cold wall.
There was no was stopping Scully when she had her
mind set on doing something.
The nighttime silence of Nova was cut through by a
blood curdling scream.
Mulder jumped out of bed in his boxers, his legs
tangling in the sheets before he was able to free
himself and get out the door. He ran, a full force run,
down the hall until he came to a stretching halt were
Scully stood, shaking, and Benjamin stood shocked
and confused from her reaction to meeting him in the
hall. Mulder quickly stepped between the two, taking
Scully's face in his hands he looked her up and down
for injuries. She looked ok other then being pale and
shivering. "What happened?" Mulder looked around
as other people started to file into the hallway,
Benjamin told them to go back to bed. Without
waiting for Scully to answer he scooped her up in his
arms and quickly took her down the hall and back to
their room. "What happened?" He asked again,
firmer, after he set her on the bed.
Scully shook her head. "I don't know. He scared me.
I didn't think anyone would be awake. I don't know
why I reacted that way."
Mulder nodded as Skinner walked in the room.
"What the hell happened?"
Amanda walked in a few seconds later. "Dana? Was
that you?"
Neither Scully or Mulder said anything to explain.
Pulling on clothes Mulder looked up at Skinner and
Amanda. "Stay with her. I'll be back in a few
minutes."
Scully watched as Mulder pulled on his shoes and
jogged back down the hall. It took a second for her
still racing mind to focus. "Skinner, stop him." She
said finally realizing where Mulder was mostly likely
going.
"Amanda, stay with her." Skinner left the room
quickly in search of Mulder.
Amanda sat on the bed next to Scully. "Did you
scream because you saw my father?"
Scully nodded numbly.
"I'm scared of him too." Amanda whispered.
Scully looked over at her, for some reason she wasn't
surprised.
"What the fuck did you do to her?!" Mulder screamed
at Benjamin as he ran down the hall, Skinner close
behind him.
"Calm down Mulder." Frohike said as he walked up
into the dwindling crowd.
Mulder paid no attention to him as he continued to
glare at Benjamin.
"I didn't do anything Mulder. I was just walking my
hallways."
Skinner caught Mulder with one arm around his chest
as he tried to lunge towards him. "Stop it Mulder.
This won't help anything."
Benjamin stood with a smug grin on his face
watching Mulder struggle against Skinner's hold.
Scully walked up in front of Mulder, noticing the
pained expression on Skinner's face as he tried to
hold him with still weak muscles. She placed a hand
on either of his upper arms and looked up at him.
"Mulder."
He relaxed slightly at her soothing tone and glanced
down at her for a moment, not wanting to take his
eyes off of Benjamin. "I want him to stay away from
you." He snarled.
Scully couldn't remember the last time she saw
Mulder this angry. She ran her palms up and down
his arms. Caressing him in almost a sensual way in
front of the few people that Benjamin hadn't been
able to shoo away. "It's ok Mulder. My dream set me
on edge. It's ok, really." He eased back slightly as she
ran her hands up around his shoulders. "Mulder look
at me." She waved Skinner away discreetly. Skinner
slowly let go and stepped back as Mulder looked
down at Scully.
He leaned over, his lips close to her ear. "I'm worried
about you." He said softly, his hot breath tickling her
skin.
"I know." She whispered back. Using the position to
her advantage her pressed her lips to his neck feeling
him slowly relax. "It's ok. Let's go and try to get
some sleep." She slid her hands from his shoulders to
his hands, clutching them she pulled him away and
back down the hallway. But not before he shot one
last deadly look toward Benjamin.
"Come on Amanda." Benjamin said after he watched
Scully take Mulder down the hall.
Amanda looked at Skinner for a moment, then down
at the ground, but didn't move.
"Amanda. I said let's go. I'll walk you back to your
room."
Skinner placed his hand on the center of her back.
"I'll see you tomorrow Amanda." He told her with his
eyes to go with him and not fight it now. Everyone
was too on edge.
Amanda nodded and gave him a small smile as she
walked away with her father.
Day 105
Mulder heaved the axe over his head with a grunt. He
had been chopping wood for the last few days, orders
of Benjamin. Not only was he chopping wood all
day, in the heat, but he was also an hour and half
walk back to Nova. It did nothing more then make
Mulder even madder at Benjamin. He had too much
time to think. Lately he had been spending most of it
imagining different ways to us his axe to end the
problem with Benjamin for good.
A particularly graphic one involving the said axe and
the contents of a pack of Morley's in a certain bodily
opening -he choose to ignore the fact that he couldn't
get a pack of Morley's for entertainment's sake-
when he was interrupted when Frohike walked out of
the path to where Mulder was throwing wood onto a
cart. "Hey."
Cracking his knuckles Frohike leaned against a tree.
"He's got you busting your ass."
"No shit." Mulder grumbled.
"You know you have really pissed him off, don't
you?" Frohike asked slightly annoyed, but
understanding his actions.
"No shit." He repeated.
Frohike sighed softly. "So what are you going to do
about it?"
Mulder dropped the axe to the ground, wiping sweat
from his brow with his forearm he turned to him,
arms outstretched in question. "What can I do? The
guy hates me because Scully loves me. Nothing I can
do, nothing I want to do."
"But how long before he kicks you out of here?!"
Rubbing his face with his hands Mulder groaned. "I
don't know. I'm trying to stay calm with this. It's got
to blow over sooner or later. Maybe after a while
he'll realize that Scully doesn't have any feelings for
him and give up."
Frohike gave him a `yeah right' look.
Mulder sighed and picked up his axe again. "Useless.
It truly is useless. The guy is insane."
Frohike nodded. "I'm just waiting for you to crack,
Mulder. Watch yourself."
He nodded soberly. "I am, trust me."
"Fuck!" Frohike yelled suddenly as a large ship
passed over them.
Mulder frowned, unfazed. "Been happening all day."
He said once it was out of site.
"Great. Just what we need."
Part 19
Day 109
"Mulder?" Scully whispered softly, partly hoping he
was asleep. She felt nervous, almost afraid. But the
unanswerable question was eating her up inside.
Lazily Mulder rolled from have his back to her onto
his side, his hand falling idly onto her belly, his eyes
still closed.
"I didn't know if you were still awake." She said just
as softly, turning her head to look at him.
"Barely." He mumbled. He actually had been, but the
insecurity in her voice had woken him.
Scully placed her hand on top of his, her fingers
lightly stroking the length of his. She could feel his
hand rising and falling with her rapid breathing.
"Something wrong?" He kept is tone light, trying to
calm the tenseness he felt radiating off of her.
Scully looked up at his face, his eyes were still
closed. "No. Everything is fine." She looked back
down at their hands.
Mulder frowned. "Well now that you said that I know
something is wrong." He rubbed her stomach lightly,
her hand now resting atop his. "Talk to me."
Sucking in a long breath Scully was silent for a
moment as she organized her thoughts. She turned
her head to look at his face once again. Gathering all
the mental strength she could muster she whispered
out the secret she had been keeping for a month now.
"I think I am pregnant." She pressed his hand, under
hers, against her belly.
Scully watched as his face hardened, his brow
furrowed, the muscle in his jaw tensed, his eyes shut
tightly. She watched as his throat worked to swallow
thickly. "Scully." He said softly, painfully, as his
eyes slowly opened to look into hers. They shone
with unshed tears.
She quickly looked away, back to their hands. "I. I
know I shouldn't be- shouldn't be able to. But I think
I am."
"Why do you think that?" He asked softly, trying to
find the best way to handle this. Those few words had
awakened his guilt about her infertility, the guilt of
telling Benjamin, the fear that they will not have to
deal with the pain when they find out she isn't
carrying a child, countless-nameless feelings that tore
his heart apart.
Scully's rehearsed reasoning poured out of her mouth
quickly. "I haven't gotten my period in months.
When I was sick- that easily could have been
morning sickness. I was so tired. Now I'm putting on
weight without eating more then usual." Finally
hearing the words spoken aloud made her question
each and every one. Not being completely convinced
herself made it difficult to persuade Mulder. She
forced her body not to tremble with fear of rejection.
Mulder stayed silent for a moment. "Scully.. There
is nothing more I want then for that to be true but-"
"Damn it Mulder! I'm a doctor for God's sake." She
spoke defensively, squeezing his fingers in hers.
"I know that." He said his voice thick with emotion.
"But, it's not possible. You know that, you told me
that. I. I just don't want you- I don't want me to get
attached to this thought when it's impossible."
Scully closed her eyes, the silent tears falling down
her cheeks mirrored his. She knew what he said
should be true, but she didn't believe it. She refused
to believe it. With a deep empowering breath she
pushed his hand off her body. "Feel this." She said
desperately, but firmly. "Tell me there isn't a life in
here." She pulled up her shirt to expose her stomach,
then took his hand and pressed it against her warm
skin, his fingers sinking slightly into the softness. "I
feel it. Can't you?"
Pressing his hand into her body more he buried his
face in her neck, the pain taking his strength away.
Day 110
"You look like hell." Skinner observed as he stepped
up in line for morning rations behind Mulder.
Mulder glanced over his shoulder. "Yeah. Long
night."
"Judging by the tone I take it the long night wasn't
the enjoyable kind of long night."
He rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes. "Not
at all." Mulder paused for a moment before
explaining. "Scully thinks she's pregnant." He said
softly in case of listening ears.
Skinner was shocked. "Is she?" At Mulder's shrug he
went on. "There's really no way to tell yet."
Mulder shook his head. "Not really. She's sure of it
though."
"I take it you're not."
"I don't know. I'd love for it to be true, trust me. But
it shouldn't be. She can't be."
Their conversation was interrupted by Amanda
walking by. "Hi, Walter." She said with a slightly shy
smile.
"Good morning, Amanda."
Mulder looked on in an amused silence as Skinner
watched her walk down the hall until she was out of
sight.
Skinner looked back over at Mulder as they took a
few steps forward in the line. His smile quickly faded
when he saw Mulder's face. "Don't say a word,
Mulder."
Of course Mulder didn't listen. "This is a surprise."
"Shut up."
Mulder chuckled. "What?" He smiled as innocently
as he could manage. "She's a very pretty woman.. I
don't have much to say about her personality
though."
Skinner nodded. "She's. coming around."
Mulder took his bag from the rations counter and
stepped away. "Well you have more patience then
me. I'll talk to you later."
"Good luck yourself." Skinner called as Mulder
walked away.
A few minutes later Mulder walked back into his
room where Scully was sitting quietly at the table.
They had barely spoken since the night before. "I ran
into Skinner." He said softly as he poured her a glass
of milk.
"How is he?" She asked absentmindedly, rolling the
cold glass around in here palms.
"Good." He set the pan on the stove. "I think he and
Amanda have something brewing."
Scully's head shot up, a strange smile on her face.
"Really? That's.. odd."
Mulder shrugged, returning smile glad for something
to lighten the mood between them. "I don't know. I
think it will be good for both of them."
"Yeah. maybe." Scully agreed lost in thought.
Mulder looked over at her as he leaned against the
back wall waiting for the eggs to cook. "Having
someone you care about, who cares about you makes
a big difference. I honestly don't know what I would
do if I didn't have you. I wouldn't have even
bothered trying to save myself after They came."
Scully looked back over at him, a deadly serious
expression on her face. "Don't say that Mulder."
He moved the pan off the fireplace and kneeled in
front of her. "I'm serious. When I came to get you
when this all happened. And I saw you, laying there,
bleeding." His fingers traced over the healed skin of
her forehead. "I knew that if you were dead I
wouldn't have gone on. No reason to."
"Stop." She whispered painfully.
He took her face in his hands. "I love you Scully. I
always have, you know that. And you know that my
life is nothing without you."
Scully sniffled softly, trying to keep the tears from
coming. She pressed her face into his neck. "I love
you too."
Part 20
Day 113
Scully placed jars on a shelf with one hand, the other
resting lightly on her belly. "Where have you been?"
She asked over her shoulder as Amanda walked in.
"Oh. I went to see Walter, today is his first day
working." She stepped up next to Scully to help with
the jars.
Scully nodded. "How is he managing?"
Placing the last jar on the self, Amanda sat in a chair
with a slight smile. "Just fine."
Scully joined her at the table, stretching her arms
over her head. "You were gone for a while."
Amanda shrugged, answering slightly defensively but
mostly in teasing. "You visit Mulder all the time."
"Yes I do." She said with a slightly embarrassed
smile. She should have been ashamed of the way she
missed him, even if they were only a part for a few
hours, but she was too happy to care what others
thought. "Is that the same situation?" Scully had been
trying, for a few days, to work the question in
nonchalantly. It was a lot harder then she expected.
She smiled a little. "I wouldn't say that. yet."
Scully nodded. "At the risk of sounding parental,"
Amanda immediately cringed. "Isn't Skinner a little
old for you?"
"He's only ten years older."
Only. That was a shock to Scully. She wouldn't have
used the word only in this context. "I guess." Scully
looked down at her hands for a moment, slightly
embarrassed. "I guess I just see you as younger then
you really are. You don't really behave like a thirty
five year old woman"
Amanda bit the inside of her cheek to stop the harsh
comments that wanted to come out. She leaned
forward towards Scully with her elbows on the table.
"For the first time in my life," Amanda spoke softly,
slowly, honestly. "I am with people who are listening
to me. I have always been a child. To my father, to
his girlfriends, to the few people who came to Nova.
I am just now getting past that. Forgive me, I have
twenty years to catch up on."
Scully sat back in her chair, trying to regain her
personal space. Some of her control. She nodded in
as much understanding as she could for Amanda's
life.
"I haven't really had a life. Look at you." Scully's
head shot up. "Moving all over with your family
when you were young, medical school, an FBI agent,
you have this amazing relationship." Amanda
trailed off with a jealous frown.
With a short sad laugh Scully shook her head. "My
life hasn't been perfect. Trust me."
Amanda met her eyes and shrugged. "I guess no one
has a perfect life." She glanced over her shoulder as
Benjamin walked in the open door. "Speaking of
which." She mumbled.
"Hello, Dana." He greeted with a smile. "Amanda."
He said as an after thought, not looking at her.
"Can I do something for you Benjamin?" Scully
asked with her professional politeness intact.
He sighed softly then glanced at Amanda. "Could you
leave us for a moment, I need to speak with Dana
alone."
Amanda looked shocked for a moment. Then shook
her head and walked, almost stomped, from the room.
Scully noticed, the moment Benjamin walked into the
room, Amanda turned from an intelligent women to a
obnoxious child. She watched in an interested silence
as Benjamin shut the door after Amanda and sat in
her vacant chair. After smiling at her for a moment
her spoke; "I was wondering how were are feeling?"
"Just fine." She watched him, waiting for the reason
he needed to speak with her alone. He didn't say
anything, just continued to stare at her. "What was it
you wanted to talk about?"
A displeased frown crossed his face. "It's about
Mulder."
The only thing that stopped Scully from shifting
comfortably in her chair was her years of practice
with higher ups in the bureau. "What about him?"
She asked coolly.
Benjamin sat back in his chair, arms crossed over his
chest. "He seems to be acting strangely, I'm worried
he will take it out on you."
Scully was confused, it was that simple. "I don't
know what you are talking about?"
With a frown he leaned forward, too close. Scully
hadn't let a man, other then Mulder, come so close to
her in years without stiffening. She shifted back in
her chair as much as possible. "He seems. agitated.
And I think that there are things maybe going on with
you two that you are hiding. That night we were I
met you in the hall. You were so upset and I noticed
Mulder had a cut on his cheek."
Scully's detective mind unsolved his puzzle of words
and it was all she could do not to laugh. Settling on a
smile and shook her head. "Mulder wouldn't hit me if
that's what you are trying to get at. He never would,
he couldn't."
Benjamin nodded, leaning back in his chair. Scully's
smile had thrown him off. She wasn't the least but
upset by the conversation, she was amused. "You'd
be amazed what a man will do to a woman if he is
encouraged the proper way."
Her smile slowly faded as she pondered his words.
She shook her head again. "Mulder would never hurt
me. You don't understand him-or me."
Benjamin stood quickly. "Well. I just wanted to
voice my concerns."
"I appreciate that." She said still seated.
He nodded. "I'll see you soon, Dana." Benjamin
exited the room, pulling the door closed behind him
and was met by an angry looking Amanda. "You can
go back in now." He said trying to side step her.
"Your hold is slipping." She said in an eerily calm
voice as she blocked his path.
He let out a breath. "What?" His tone was tired and
impatient.
"Don't you see the way people are looking at you?
They don't fear you. They don't respect you. Those
are to two things you thrive on, you don't have either
anymore."
Benjamin glared at her. "Where do you get off with
this attitude? Ever since you started running around
with Walter you act like your some big hot shot."
She pointed a finger at him. "You leave Walter out of
this. He doesn't have anything to do with it."
"Oh yes he does." Benjamin shook his head. "Don't
you see he is using you?" He looked her up and
down.
"What would a man want to with you? You're losing
your hold on reality."
Amanda shook her head, amazed. "Me? Now way,
Dad. I'm finally figuring out what is real and what is
not. You are the one that has lost touch with reality.
You don't realize how slack of a hold you have on
Nova. One little thing." She held up a finger for
emphasis. "One thing that you can't control and you
are going lose it all."
He crossed his arms over his chest. "What the hell are
you talking about?"
Amanda shook her head in amazement. "You think
we are done here? We aren't safe. No one is safe."
Her voice was nearing a yell. "You are lost in this
happy little world were everything is going to be ok.
Well it's not." Suddenly she dropped down to a
whisper. "Something is going to happen, sooner or
later, and it will be all over for you." A sick smile
came over her face. "I can't wait for that day."
Taking a large step around him she went back into
the Medical Room, leaving Benjamin to notice for
the first time the few on lookers to their discussion.
The worried looks, shocked expressions, and tense
murmurs were duly noted.
Day 116
Mulder rubbed his chin against the top of Scully's
head, his stubble catching on the soft strands.
"There was so much blood." She whispered. Her
trembling hands ran over his arms wrapped from
behind her. His only response was a sleepy kiss on
her ear. "Why do I keep having this dream?" She
asked desperately.
He shook his head against her hair. "I don't know."
He spoke softly with his lips against her ear again.
"There's an unconscious reason, or cause. I hate to
say it but I think we will just have to wait it out." He
paused in thought for a moment. "Was there anything
different about it this time?"
"I don't know." She said shaking her head.
Mulder rubbed his palm up and down her arm. "Talk
it out."
With a soft breath Scully closed her eyes and for the
first time she relived her dream by choice. "It started
off the same. I was alone in bed, on my back. I was
weighed down and I knew someone was in the room.
I struggled and called for you. But it didn't matter. I
couldn't move and you weren't there. Suddenly the
man was touching me, only for a moment. Then there
was the blood. Everywhere. So much. And it was
over, I woke up. Everything was in slow motion it
seemed." She shook her head, frustrated with herself.
"I don't know anything more. I'm probably forgetting
some details."
"That's ok." He said soothingly.
Scully rubbed a hand over her belly. "Maybe it is just
one of those dreams pregnant women have." Mulder
tensed at the topic, but quickly recovered to try to
keep Scully calm. "Doesn't that happen often?
Women have nightmares about losing their child. It's
common right? Didn't you learn about that at
Oxford?"
"Yes it is." He whispered. Mulder didn't have the
heart to bring up the fact that she most likely wasn't
pregnant. The thought, the rationalization had calmed
her. "Try and sleep." He ordered gently. The dream
had become so common-every few nights-that they
had both learned to put it out of their minds as well as
they could and go back to sleep.
Scully nodded slightly and pulled his hand from
where it rested on her hip, intertwining their fingers
she pressed their joined hands to her belly and sighed
contentedly.
Part 21
Day 119
Scully stretched her arms over head, arching her
spine, letting out soft pops of tension and ache. With
a soft sigh she cracked her neck side to side. Better.
She lazily made her way over the to the door of her
room.
Swinging it open she smiled. "Good morning Byers.
You can tell Mulder I'm fine."
He smiled shyly. "He asked me to stop by since I was
working close by."
Scully stepped aside. "Come on in. I need to get up
now anyway. What time is it?"
Byers sat himself in a chair. "Almost nine. are you
feeling better?"
She nodded. "I felt fine this morning. I was just really
tired; long night."
"Another dream?"
Scully looked at him, only a little surprised he knew.
"Yeah." She said softly, nodding.
"I'm sorry." Byers said shyly. "I shouldn't have
mentioned that."
"No, its ok. I'm really not surprised Mulder told you
about that. It doesn't bother me." She glanced over at
him from where she was making the bed. "What else
did he tell you?"
Byers looked at for a moment. He felt like a deer
stuck in the headlights of a eighteen wheeler.
Trapped.
"He told me you think you are pregnant."
Scully nodded firmly, trying to bring the air of
confidence to the conversation. "That is right."
Byers took a low breath in. "Dana-"
"Don't!" She said, pointing a finger at him. "Don't
start the patronizing `Dana, you are infertile' shit. I
hear enough of it from my own brain, I don't need it
from you, Frohike, Langly and especially not
Mulder." She spat out bitterly, holding his eyes
steadily. She was tired of her given name being used
in such a manner. Just because this was an emotional
topic, did not mean she needed to be spoken to like a
child.
Byers nodded. "We're are just worried about you,
Scully." He quickly picked up on the fact that she
was just as wary as everyone else. Her thoughts of
pregnancy went against everything she knew as a
doctor, but matched entirely with being a woman.
She was torn.
Scully rolled her eyes. "I don't need your concern. I
just need someone to believe me for God's sake!"
"I understand that, I really do. But you have to know,
and I'm sure you do, that this is a little.
unexpected."
She took a breath, letting it out slowly to calm
herself. "I do know that. But I am." She nodded, to
herself not Byers. "I am. I must be."
Nodding Byers stood slowly. "Well I'll let you get
ready for work." He opened the door to step out and
came face to face with Benjamin. "Excuse me
Benjamin, Scully was just about to get ready for the
Medical Room." He said with a threatening voice, as
threatening as Byers could be.
"I need to speak with her." He said bluntly and
stepped around Byers and into the room.
Scully nodded to Byers so he would leave. She could
tell that he wanted to stay and watch over her. There
was no doubt in her mind that he would be reporting
to Mulder about Benjamin's visit as soon as possible.
With a frown Byers left closing the door behind him.
"Good morning, Benjamin." Scully said as calmly as
she could, the anger was still fresh.
"You're pregnant?" He asked right away.
Scully starred at him, open mouthed for a moment.
"You were listening to my conversation?" She asked
in a soft shocked voice.
Benjamin looked startled for a moment then shook
his head. "I was going to knock. but I heard you
talking and you didn't sound too happy so I wanted
to wait."
"But you were listening." It wasn't a question this
time. Scully had spent years speaking to the lowest
life forms in the world, listening to them try to
waggle their way out of a question they didn't want
to answer. Dana Scully was not easily lied to.
He paused for a moment, still looking her square in
the eye as his voice wavered slightly. "I was afraid
that you and Mulder were fighting."
Scully pinched the bridge of her nose between her
thumb and forefinger. She had been out of bed for
only a short time and already wanted to forget about
the whole day and go back to sleep.
"Dana. are you pregnant?" Benjamin asked again.
Scully looked up at him. "I. I might be. We really
don't know."
"What do you mean `we?"
Scully shook her head confused. "Huh?"
"Nothing. It's just you are a woman, it's your body.
What is there not to be sure about?"
Bracing her hands on the edge of the table she leaned
her weight back. "As you know, I shouldn't be able
to become pregnant. So. we aren't completely
convinced."
Benjamin used what he knew in his favor. "You
mean Mulder doesn't believe you."
Scully's head shot up to look at him. "Neither of us
want to get our hopes up, that's all."
"He doesn't believe you." He repeated. "What an
asshole." He cursed out sharply.
Scully felt her face flush with anger. Mulder might be
an asshole at times, but he was her asshole.
"Benjamin." She kept her jaw tight in an attempt to
speak calmly. "I think you need to leave before I get
angry."
He looked up at her with a shocked expression.
"Excuse me?"
Scully nodded and stepped forward to open the door
for him. "I don't appreciate you saying things like
that about Mulder and I am very late."
Benjamin narrowed his eyes, not moving from where
he stood. "I am trying to help you, Dana. You don't
need the added stress of Mulder not believing you are
pregnant."
Scully shut her eyes fighting against her emotions.
That was the first time anyone had spoken of her
being pregnant, with no questions or conditions.
"Please, Benjamin, I need to get going with my day."
"All right. I'll speak to you soon." He walked out
the door with a tense posture.
The door shut with a dull thud, another followed as
Scully leaned her weight against it, rubbing her face
in her hands.
Day 122
"Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?!"
"Mulder, calm down man." Langly said quickly
stepping out of his path as Mulder paced a path in his
room. Langly glanced over at Frohike in a silent plea
for help.
"We wanted to be sure."
Mulder glared at Frohike as he stepped up to him,
closely. "When someone is stalking Scully you tell
me." He hissed out before rejoining his invisible path
along on floor.
"He's not stalking he's." Langly searched for the
right words.
"Watching, following, lusting after." Mulder looked
up at the ceiling as in if deep thought, then nodded.
"Yeah I think that qualifies as stalking." They
watched Mulder pace for a moment in silence. He
was a caged animal. His mind fought between
wanting to protect Scully, and their possible child,
and wanting to flee. The thought of such a
responsibly frightened him. But, oh, he wanted a
child. More then his mind was even ready to grasp.
Not that he gave it a chance. Whenever that thought
of a baby crossed his mind-which was often-he
pushed it away. The idea of thinking, planning, and
loving this baby that might be, then having that
dream stripped away, would kill him. And he knew
it. His mind raced so fast he wasn't able to pinpoint
one logical thought.
Frohike leaned in close to Langly, keeping his eyes
on Mulder's frantic pacing. "Where the hell is
Byers?"
"He was smart enough to avoid the wrath of Mulder."
"What did you just say?" Mulder asked sharply.
"Nothing." Frohike said quickly. Too quickly judging
by the glare Mulder gave him.
"Whatever." He mumbled. "I'm going to go talk to
Scully."
"Wait, Mulder." He looked over at Langly
expectantly. "Just take is easy. What I mean is don't
get Scully all worked up." He added quickly.
Mulder nodded slowly. "Keep an eye out. And
thanks." He added as an afterthought.
Moments later Mulder threw open the door to his
room intent on talking to Scully, he had had enough.
The tension between them was thick over her
questionable pregnancy. He couldn't handle this
anymore. He felt on edge and ready to explode.
Enough was enough, but he stopped short when he
saw her. She was curled up on her side asleep, shoes
still on. Looking innocent and sweet. The vision
made his heart ache. He had been about to walk in
and fight with her without giving her a chance. He
had let him anger get the best of him. The sick
realization that that was just like his father made him
shudder, another shudder followed at the thought of
him ever treating a child that way. Yelling without
listening. Shutting the door softly he knelt by the side
of the bed and carefully pulled her shoes off.
"Mulder?" She slurred sleepily.
"Go back to sleep." He soothed as he spread a blanket
over her.
"Where were you?" She asked rolling onto her back
slightly to look at him as he sat at her hips.
"Langly and Frohike wanted to talk to me." He
explained pushing her hair from her face.
Scully sighed at the small contact and settled back
into the bed. "What about?"
"Benjamin." He answered rubbing his hand up and
down her side.
Scully frowned. "Oh. what did they have to say?"
Mulder thought through his wording for a moment.
"He's been following you around Scully." He decided
blunter was better in this case: less of a chance of his
anger and frustration getting the better of him.
Scully stared at him for a moment. "He is always
walking around Nova, Mulder. So am I. We run into
each other."
He just looked away and nodded. With a soft sigh he
shifted and laid down next to her, his face level with
hers but staring straight up. "I don't trust him."
Scully reached out and placed her hand over his
heart. "I didn't trust Skinner when he first got here,
but I do now."
Mulder nodded, but it didn't change his thoughts
about Benjamin. Furrowing his brow Mulder tipped
his head as he looked up at the ceiling. "Scully.
have you ever noticed there's an `x' over our bed."
"Yeah, I did notice that." She rolled closer to him,
settling her body neatly against his. As strained as her
relationship with Mulder was at the moment she felt
the need to be close to him. She was not about to let
that fact that he didn't trust her instincts ruin them.
Yes it hurt, hurt more then anything he had ever done
to her. But she couldn't let it destroy them. He was
all she had-all she wanted.
Day 125
Movement to the side of where Mulder was working
caught his attention. He looked up, shocked to see
Scully. Her face was blank, and leaned back against a
tree, her arms crossed protectively over her chest.
"Hi." He said softly, wiping his hands on his jeans he
slowly walked up to her. He craned his head down
slightly to meet her eyes. "Scully?"
The moment her eyes locked onto his the blank
expression crumbled away. With a choked sob she
crumpled against him, letting out the tears she had
been building. There was too much pain inside of her.
Without Mulder to talk opening with everything little
added up until this heavy weight settle on her heart.
Mulder wrapped an arm around her waist to support
her weak frame, the other cradling the back of her
head. "Scully?" He asked desperately. She didn't
answer in anything but wracking tears. "Jesus." He
pulled her away from his slightly, taking his face in
her hands. "What's wrong?"
"I-" She choked on her words. "I love you so much it
hurts."
Mulder shook his head slowly. He didn't understand
what brought this on.
"And-" Mulder leaned in closer trying to dissever her
whisper over the gentle breeze. "it scares me that you
don't believe me, because you are all I have."
Mulder closed his eyes in pain. "I want to, Scully, I
do. But if I do and you aren't it will kill me."
She swallowed forcefully. "It's killing me that you
don't believe me." Mulder bowed his head slightly,
still holding her face in his hands. "It's my body,
Mulder. I know I am pregnant. Please-please believe
me.
Every doubt I have myself I have put away these past
few days. I've put my faith in you countless times.
I've trusted you even when my rational side
screamed for me not to. I'm as sure of this as I have
been about anything before. What will it take for me
to convince you?"
He pulled her back against him, pressing his lips to
her temple. Just breathing softly into her hair. He was
silent, they both were silent for what seemed like
hours. Tilting his head lower, Mulder pressed his lips
against her ear. "I believe you." And the weight
lifted.
Part 22
Day 128
Scully was having that dream again. At least it
seemed like it. She couldn't move due to a weight on
her belly, but she was awake. Prying her eyes open
she looked around in the dim light and smiled;
Mulder's head was pillowed on her stomach, his face
turned up towards her. Reaching down she buried her
hand in his hair, scraping her nails along his scalp
lightly.
Mulder opened his eyes sleepily. As his eyes focused
on her he hummed from the back of his throat as his
morning greeting.
She took it as such. "What are you doing way down
there?" Scully asked with a smile.
He smiled shyly and rubbed his palm over her
stomach. "Bonding?"
Scully laughed softly and ruffled his hair. "Knock
yourself out."
Mulder shifted, pushing her shirt up and pressing his
lips to her skin. He groaned at a knock on the door,
sending soft vibrations through Scully's body. "How
does that always manage to happen to us?" He asked
climbing out of bed after pulling Scully's shirt down.
"Luck." She mumbled sitting upright and running her
fingers through her tousled hair.
Mulder swung the door open. "What?" He asked
harshly when he saw Langly.
Scully shook her head and laughed softly at his
greeting.
"Sorry, I take it I woke you guys up. But you might
want to know what water has stopped."
"What?!"
Scully slid out of bed and walked over. "Last night
the flow was a little slow, I didn't think anything of
it."
"Does Benjamin know?" Mulder asked as he started
pulling clothes out of the dresser.
"I think someone went to get him." Langly said
sounding very uncertain.
"We're going to get dressed. See if you can track him
down." Langly obediently turned and shut the door.
Mulder immediately started to pull on clothes.
"Why do you think that is happening?" Scully asked
as she followed his lead and began to dress.
"I don't know." Mulder sat to pull his shoes on. "But
if it stays like this we are screwed." Mulder stood and
opened the door for Scully, with his hand
comfortably at the small of her back he led her down
to the Main Room.
They walked up just in time for Benjamin to speak.
"Don't worry everyone. Let's just wait a while and
see if it solves itself. The river that feeds into here-"
Mulder cursed under his breath and ignored the rest
of what Benjamin was saying.
"What the hell is he talking about?" Skinner's gruff
voice said from behind them.
Mulder shook his head, not bothering to answer. "I'm
going to walk along the river, see if I can find the
problem."
"Mulder, you aren't going alone." Scully said
quickly. As much as she loved working in the
Medical Room she cursed it for grounding her to stay
near Nova at all times.
"I'll go." Skinner said. "I'm sure we can dig up a few
others to go along."
Mulder nodded. "Let's get moving then. Hopefully
we won't have to go too far up the river and will be
back soon."
"I'll see who else I can get to go along."
"Great way to spend a Sunday." Scully mumbled.
"Sorry." Mulder whispered by her ear.
"No it's not your fault. I'm just. sulking." She gave
him a shy smile.
Mulder nodded over at Skinner who had gave waved
for him that him and four others were ready. Then he
leaned down and kissed Scully quickly. "I'll try to be
back soon." He walked away, calling over his
shoulder; "And yes I will be careful."
Amanda and Scully sat in silence, rolling clean
bandages in the Medical Room.
"This is truly boring." Amanda said dropping a half
rolled bandage on the table.
Scully nodded. "Yes, yes it is. I look forward to
Sundays."
"Yeah." Amanda said in a far away voice. "Walter
and I were going to go for a picnic."
Scully stared at Amanda for a moment. Trying her
damnedest to picture Skinner on a picnic. It was
impossible. She laughed softly under her breath.
"What?"
"I... Nothing." She blushed slightly under Amanda's
searching look. "I just have a difficult time picturing
Skinner being so. domestic."
Amanda shrugged. "I have a hard time picturing
Mulder not domestic."
Scully looked at her with a furrowed brow. Then
copied her shrug.
"What was Walter like before he got here?"
Scully leaned back in chair, oblivious to the fact that
one of her hands was rubbing her belly. "The same I
guess. A lot like Mulder I suppose. I've just never
seen him `with' someone before. Do you know what
I mean?"
Amanda nodded and picked up her bandage again.
"My father doesn't like him." She said out of the
blue.
"I don't think fathers like any man their daughter's
are involved with." Scully supplied rationally.
Amanda just nodded without making eye contact.
Remembering what she had said about being afraid
of her father Scully took a chance. "Do you think he
will try to stop you from seeing him?"
Amanda wouldn't look up. "No, he'll just take his
anger out on other people, like always."
Mulder kicked his muddy shoes off with a soft thud.
"I'm awake." Scully said sitting up on her elbows.
Mulder torn off his damp clothes and crawled straight
into bed. "I'm exhausted." He mumbled.
Scully leaned over and kissed the center of his chest.
"Did you find the problem?"
He nodded with his eyes closed. "Beavers."
"Beavers?"
He nodded again. "Fucking beavers built a dam."
Scully tried, but she couldn't help it. She laughed.
"You know you are just going to have to go back and
take it down again in a week."
"Thank you, Miss Obvious."
Scully laughing softly, rested her chin on her hands
in the center of his chest and looked up at him.
"I'll tell you what, next time Benjamin can drag his
ass out there and do it himself."
Scully just made a soft agreeable noise.
Mulder sucked in a long breath, causing Scully to rise
on his chest, then fall as he let it out slowly. "I can't
believe he just wanted to leave it. What an ass."
"Mulder." Scully interrupted. "Let it go."
He let out a sigh. "Sorry." Mulder rubbed his palms
up and down her back. "How are you feeling?"
Scully slipped her arms around his waist and turned
her head to the side. "Good." She answered in a long
breath letting herself slip into sleep against his warm
body.
Day 130
"How far along do you think you are?" Mulder asked
in a whisper as he traced his fingers over her
stomach. Clothes had been shed and Mulder was
examining her body with great detail. Noting each
and every subtle change.
Scully's eyes were closed under his gentle caress.
"Three months or so." She answered lost in the fog of
arousal.
Mulder nodded against her skin. He pressed his lips
just above the patch of red curls between her thighs.
Scully bit her lip to remain quiet, not wanting to ruin
the silent atmosphere of their room. Mulder watched
her, closed eyes and head tilted back slightly as he
ran his tongue from the spot he just kissed all the way
up to junction of her ribs. Scully arched up under him
slightly. Mulder slipped both his hands under her
waist before she set her body down and held her up to
him as he spread open-mouthed kisses over her
abdomen. Darting his tongue in and out of her navel
summoned a breathy call of his name from the
woman beneath him. He placed her back down on the
bed and slid up to be level with her face, his erection
bumping insistently against her hip. "What, Scully?"
He asked pulling her ear lobe into his mouth.
"You're teasing me." She said with a smile.
"No I'm not." He answered kissing a trail down to the
base of her neck.
She encouraged him to move lower with a hand on
the nape of his neck. "Certainly seems like it to me."
She said softly, not minding his teasing.
Ignoring her gentle push he moved to her lips and
kissed her deeply, their tongues tangling languidly.
"I'm just savoring you." He whispered with his lips
still against hers. Brushing her nose gently with his
he moved to kiss her shoulder.
Scully followed him with her hands stroking and
kneading whatever flesh she could reach, leaning
towards his lips, his hands, any part of him that
would touch her.
Mulder pulled the soft skin of her clavicle into his
mouth and suckled gently. He didn't stop until he left
a small mark claiming her. Sliding one of his hands
from her waist he danced his fingers along the tender
flesh of her inner thigh. Struggling to keep her
breathing even, Scully raised her leg and bent it up
resting on her foot at his waist. She was desperate for
more contact now. Mulder slid down her body a little
more to pull a swollen nipple in his warm mouth as
his fingers stroked her opening with a frustratingly
light touch.
Finally surrendering, Scully let the sensations take
over her control and she thrust her hips up toward his
hand. His fingers slid slightly into her body. Scully
whispered his name in a plea for release of the
growing tension in her body.
Mulder pressed two of fingers deep into her warmth,
then out. In a slow paced rhythm. Another breathy
cry escaped Scully's throat as he switch to lave
attention onto her other breast. He waited until she
was thrust her hips in the rhythm with his hand,
before he lowered his mouth from her chest. He spent
long moments nuzzling and kissing her tummy as he
increased the contact with his fingers on the special
spot inside of her body. Feeling her reach that last
moment before her release he moved down lower and
pulled her swollen bud of nerves between his lips. In
the midst of her release Scully called Mulder's name.
The next thing Scully felt was Mulder tender hand
stroking the side of her neck and his erection, hot and
hard, pressed against her thigh. She opened her eyes
as she felt him nuzzle her neck. Bringing a leaden
feeling hand up she touched his cheek lightly.
Mulder picked up his head and kissed her gently.
With the urging of Scully's push he rolled them so he
lay on his back with his head resting on the pillows.
Leaning down Scully kissed him again, deeper yet
calm and relaxed. She shifted to kneel over him and
took Mulder into her body with a practiced thrust.
He pulled his lips away with a pleasant shudder as
Scully straightened up and took him fully into her
heat. Without a pause Scully moved in a steady
rhythm.
Mulder lay still beneath Scully; letting her take
control for as long as he could bare. He forced his
eyes open as he began to lift his hips to meet her
body. Keeping eye contact he pressed his palm
against the warm skin of her belly. His hand just
resting against her.
Mulder's eyes snapped closed as Scully pressed
down on him one final time.
Scully shut her eyes as she felt the warmth of
Mulder's release in already occupied-but waiting
womb. The blissful heat flowed through her veins as
she relaxed and lay her head down on Mulder's
shoulder, savoring the quiet moment and rush of
endorphins.
After a few moments Mulder raised his hand to the
small of Scully's back, all four fingers rubbing in a
small soothing circle.
Scully shifted, letting Mulder slip from her body so
she could lay closer his chest, her head under his
chin.
Mulder tugged the crumpled blankets over them. "I
love you." He whispered pressing his lips to the
sweaty hair at her forehead.
Scully echoed the words in her half sleep state, his
fingers still rubbing the base of her spine.
Day 133
Mulder walked in the open door of the Medical
Room rubbing his hands together. "Cold out there
today." Was his greeting to Scully.
She looked up from the research she was doing.
"Season's are changing." Standing up she took his
hands in her smaller ones, rubbing them for warmth.
Leaning forward she breathed a hot puff of air into
the compartment their fingers made. "Better?" She
asked looked up through her lashes at him.
Giving her a half smile he nodded. "A little." He
leaned down and pressed his cold nose into her neck.
Letting out an embarrassingly girly shriek she
jumped away but Mulder caught her waist in his
hands. "No you don't." He said with a laugh, his
fingers sliding under her shirt to tickle her sides.
Scully immediately doubled over with laughter,
batting him away the best she could. "Cut it out!" She
cried twisting and turning in his grasp. But with his
hands trapped in her shirt there was no way for her to
get away. "Mulder!" She giggled. Changing her plan
of fighting away from him she threw her weight onto
his body, making him stagger back a step, his hands
losing contact for only a second.
"You think you're so tough." He teased pushing part
of his weight back against her so she stumbled. When
she lost her balance during a fit of giggles Mulder
caught her around the waist.
"That's enough. Stop!" She said in a wheeze from
laughter.
"What the hell are you doing to her?" Benjamin
fumed from the open doorway.
Mulder looked up, hands still under Scully's shirt, his
smile fading.
"He's being a jerk, that's what he's doing." Scully
said, still grinning.
Mulder looked back at her and couldn't help but
smile at the flush of laughter in her cheeks. "And you
love me for it." He said finally pulling his hands out
from under her shirt.
"Yes I do." She said softly getting up onto her toes to
kiss his cheek. Standing on her feet again she looked
over at Benjamin. "What can I do for you today?"
Benjamin was looking at Mulder sternly. "I heard
screaming."
"Oh. I was laughing." Scully said wiping tears from
her eyes. "Someone was tickling me." She poked
Mulder in the side, a look of pure amusement spread
over her face as he bent slightly with a smirk. "Oh.
look who's ticklish." She went to poke him again but
he caught her hands in his.
"Oh no you don't." He said shaking his head.
She giggled softly, practically forgetting Benjamin
was in the room. "Come on. Let go."
Mulder rotated their hands so that their fingers
interlocked. "Are you going to be good?"
"Mulder, I'm always good." She said with a sly
smile.
"Ohh. You are wicked today." Mulder said shaking
his head. "Too bad I have to go back to work." He let
go of her hands and she pouted like a little girl. He
leaned down and kissed her quickly. "Benjamin." He
said with a curt nod and reluctantly left the two
knowing Benjamin would point out his break was
over if he didn't go then.
The moment Mulder stepped out the door Benjamin
stepped toward Scully taking her arm in his hand.
"Are you ok?"
She looked up at him with an amused expression and
gently stepped out of his grasp. "Of course I am. We
were just having fun, fooling around."
Benjamin stood frozen in tension. "I don't believe
you." He said bluntly.
Scully turned to him with eyebrows raised. "Excuse
me?"
He took a step towards her, causing her to step back
and into the table. "Don't make excuses for Mulder. I
saw the way he grabbed your wrists."
She shook her head slowly. "Mulder wasn't hurting
me." She said softly. "He never has and never will."
Benjamin shook his head, his anger toward Scully
building. "Don't you see? He controls you. He held
you so you couldn't move. He is much larger then
you and uses it against you all the time. Just covering
up his aggression with a game."
Scully unintentionally flinched as a glob of spit flew
from Benjamin's mouth and landed on her cheek.
"Could you please stop yelling at me Benjamin." She
requested with an eerily calm voice wiping at her
cheek.
Benjamin took another step forward causing Scully to
lean back over the table slightly. "You aren't
listening to me, Dana. Mulder is dangerous."
"That's enough, Dad." Amanda said from the
doorway.
Benjamin glanced over at her. "Dana and I are
talking, Amanda, please leave."
"No." Scully said quickly. "I want you to leave,
Benjamin." Scully pressed her hands against his
chest, pushing him away. The moment he stepped
back Scully took a deep breath, not realizing she
wasn't letting herself breathe with him so close.
"I'll speak to you again about this, Dana. I want you
to think about it." Benjamin spoke as he walked
backwards out of the room.
Scully leaned against the table-by choice.
"He didn't hurt you did he?" Amanda asked slowly.
She forced out a laugh, trying to be reassuring when
her inside where shaking with fear. "No, I'm fine
Amanda." She sat heavily in a chair. "I'm fine."
Part 23
Day 133 (continued)
Mulder walked into his room, colder then the last
time he walked into Nova. He stopped short when he
saw Scully. "Scully? What is it? What's wrong?" He
sat beside her on the bed where she had her knees
pull up to her chest, her arms wrapped around her.
"Are you hurting?" He asked pulling her arms and
legs away from her body to look at her.
She shook her head. "I'm ok." She whispered.
Mulder took her face in his hands. "You're not ok.
Did you have another dream?"
Scully leaned forward and pressed her lips against his
neck, but didn't relax into his arms. "No. I didn't
have a dream."
He rubbed his hands up and down her back trying to
be patient. "So you're not in pain and you didn't have
a dream. I can keep guessing if you'd like?" Mulder
teased gently trying to get her to relax.
Scully pulled away with a faint smile. "After you left
the Medical Room today I spoke with Benjamin."
Mulder groaned. "Shit. what did he say?"
Fiddling with the sheets, Scully wouldn't look back
up at Mulder. "He was trying to convince me, I guess
I could say, that you were hurting to today."
"In the Medical Room?" He asked in confused shock.
Scully nodded. "Saying you just did things like that
to show dominance over me. He just wasn't listening
to me at all."
Mulder rubbed his forehead for a moment. "Did he
hurt you?"
"No." She said softly.
"Ok." Mulder reached over and rubbed the back of
her neck with his hand. "Get your shoes on." He said
getting out of bed.
"Why?" Scully finally looked up at him.
Mulder knelt at the side of the bed and pulled out
their bags that hadn't been touched since they got to
Nova. "We are leaving."
Scully swung her legs over the side of the bed so she
was in front of Mulder. "No. Mulder we can't just
walk away from here."
"Scully, I'm not about to sit around and wait for
Benjamin lose it. I don't trust this guy and I don't
think you do either. There is no reason for us to stay."
He went to stand up, bags in hand, but Scully placed
her hands on his shoulder.
"Mulder, just let this go. It will be ok."
He tossed the bags down violently. "Fine, if you
don't want to leave I'm going to go punch some
sense into that son of a bitch."
Scully grabbed his face in her hands and forced him
to look at her. "No. We can not leave here and we
can't afford to be kicked out."
The realization hit Mulder suddenly. He closed his
eyes with a defeated sigh, leaning down he pressed
the top of his head into Scully's belly.
"It will be ok." She repeated with her lips pressed
against the nape of his neck, her hands skimming
over his back. "We've been through worse. I don't
like it anymore then you do, but we have to stay here
right now."
He nodded against her body.
Day 137
Skinner had the horrible the feeling, the one when
you know someone is watching you. He turned his
head discreetly over his shoulder, making it look at if
he was only stretching after digging potatoes from
the ground.
"You have a fan." Mulder said deadpan as he walked
up along side Skinner, kneeling down in the dirt to
start work for the day.
"That guy gives me the creeps." Skinner mumbled.
Mulder smirked. "I wonder if he is related to the
Smoking Man."
Skinner let out a snort of laughter. "Wouldn't surprise
me one bit." He trailed off looking at the sky as a
ship drifted over top of them. The trees were slowly
losing their leaves; Nova's sparse protection would
be
lost along with them.
Neither man said a word about the ship. No one said
anything. It was all too common now. Less then a
year ago Mulder searched, with all his strength, to
prove such things existed. His whole life spent on
one purpose. But back then he didn't know what life
was really about. He lost that focus the night he lost
his sister. But now, with Scully and what could be the
biggest surprise of their lives on the way, he wanted
to go back. To change what he did. Everyone makes
mistakes. It's part of human nature. Mulder made too
many. He wished he could go back and change his
life, Scully's life. But wishing never did any good.
And if the wish came true, would anything be any
different?
Day 140
Scully circled her middle fingers over Mulder's
temples as his head lay in her lap. A soft sigh of
contentment breathed from his lips. Scully smiled
down at him, sliding her hands from his forehead she
brushed his hair back. He was close to sleep, she
could tell by his even breathing and the way his body
relaxed completely under her hands. The lines of
worry gone from his forehead, from his eyes. At the
moment he was at peace in the silent room. She hated
to leave when he was like this, even for a moment.
She knew the moment she slipped his head from her
lap, and her hands ceased their gentle roaming he
would remember where they were, what was
happening, what could happen. But she had to go,
even for that short moment. So she lifted his head
gently, feeling the way he tensed ever so slightly.
Without a word she leaned over and placed a soft
lingering kiss on his lips and slipped quietly from the
room and down to the Main Room. It was quiet this
time of night. Most were in bed already, safely and
happily tucked in with their loved ones. Forgetting
about the hard labor that waited for them the
following day, forgetting about Them, forgetting
anything that wasn't that exact calm moment. Few
were out, like Scully, collecting wood to keep them
warm during the night. But words never seemed to be
spoken at this time. It was as if everyone was
invisible to each other. The only sounds Scully heard
where the crackling fire and the dull thud of the wood
she pilled into the carrier. Supplies over one shoulder
Scully walked languidly back to her room, her body
in no rush but her mind racing her. Without a thought
Scully rubbed the base of her neck with her hand as
the other opened the door as quietly as the thick
wood would allow. As she knew he would Mulder
lay as she left him, the subtle changes of tension and
worry visible to only her. She added the wood,
stripped some of her clothes away and climbed into
bed again faster, and quieter, then one would have
thought possible. With Mulder's even beating heart
under her ear Scully lulled to sleep with no worries in
her heart, she would keep those buried in her mind
until morning.
Day 145
A new tradition had been started. Poker.
Mulder calmly, with shameless pride, laid his hand
out for the others to see.
Frohike groaned. "Bastard." He mumbled and shoved
the pile of rocks towards Mulder- that was all they
played for. Money was a thing of the past.
Langly and Byers cheered; they had folded a while
ago.
"I think I should quit while I'm ahead." Mulder said
leaning back smugly in his chair.
"I'll get you tomorrow." Skinner said aimlessly
shuffling the already worn deck of cards.
Without bothering to knock Scully walked in stifling
a yawn with on hand. She planted herself on the
Mulder's lap, one arm over his neck, still yawning.
"Tired, Scully?" Mulder asked with a smirk.
She nodded when she finally finished her yawn and
placed the now free hand over the gentle swell of her
belly. "I'm going to go to bed I think, you coming
soon?"
Mulder nodded, proudly gesturing to his winnings.
Scully just rolled her eyes.
"Hey Scully, you and Amanda should play with us
some time." Byers said.
"Yeah." Langly said quickly. "We can turn it into
strip poker." He rubbed his hands together as he
waggled his eyes brows. His expression quickly
sobered at Skinner and Mulder's glare.
Scully paid no attention to him, just climbed off
Mulder's lap. "Good night everyone." She said
leaving.
"Man, I think that was your cue that you are expected
elsewhere." Frohike said with a slightly jealous tone.
Mulder stretched his arms over his head. "Yeah I
think so." He suddenly straightened up, remembering
something that he wanted-needed to know. "I wanted
to ask you guys if you've seen Benjamin around
Scully."
"No more then usual." Byers said.
Skinner leaned forward, bracing his arms on the
tabletop. "People have been talking." At the
questioning gazes he continued. "I've heard a lot of
hushed talk about Benjamin. Doesn't sound like
many people like him, much less trust him."
Mulder shook his head in amazement. "This place is
not going to make it with him."
"What the hell are we going to do about it? He still
has too many people behind him." Skinner said with
a disgusted snort.
"Idiots." Langly muttered.
"No. they are just na‹ve." Byers defended for some
unknown reason.
Mulder stood to leave. "Oh to be na‹ve." He said in a
dramatically wistful tone. "How wonderful it must
be." The door shut behind him in a slam.
Day 146
"Scully, stop. It's me." Mulder said firmly as she
pushed at him. He had been sleeping comfortably,
one arm draped over Scully's waist when he woke to
her frantically shoving him away in her sleep. Mulder
immediately moved, but that wasn't good enough for
her dream world. It didn't look like she was going to
let up until she pushed him right off the bed. "Scully,
wake up. Come on."
Those words weren't any different then the ones he
had been uttering for the last five minutes but for
some reason they did the trick. With a soft gasp
Scully sat up and pressed a hand to her mouth.
Mulder moved back towards her, rubbing her back
lightly. "You ok?"
"It was Benjamin." She whispered. "The man in my
dream has been Benjamin. I saw him this time."
Mulder nodded carefully. He wasn't sure what she
wanted him to say about this.
"Why am I having this dream about him?" She
looked up at him with eyes pleading for any logic.
"You fear him. You're dream is your way of
dealing with it."
Scully shook her head. "I was having this dream
before he did anything odd."
Mulder gently pulled her back down to the bed. "The
unconscious mind is a lot smarter than the conscious.
You may have just been hiding how you felt towards
him from yourself."
They lay in a thoughtful silence for long moments
before Scully spoke again, in a soft whisper. "How do
I make them stop?"
Mulder pressed his lips to her temple. "I don't know."
Part 24
Day 155
Scully sat up with a jolt, knocking Mulder's body
from his position around her. "Scully?" He rasped in
a sleep thick with voice.
Scully shuddered slightly. "Mulder. They're here."
"What?" Mulder asked softly.
Scully placed a trembling hand over the back of her
neck. "They're here." She turned to him, suddenly,
with panic in her eyes. "Mulder, no one can go out of
here! Don't let them."
"Scully.. Are you sure?" He asked carefully.
Scully nodded frantically. "I feel it Mulder." She
tightened her grip on the back of her neck. "Please
Mulder. don't let anyone leave Nova."
Mulder watched her for a moment.
"Mulder, please!"
"Ok." He got out of bed and pulled on a pair of jeans
and his shoes. "I'll get Skinner."
Scully just sat in silence with her hand pressed
against the nape of her neck, as if moving her hand
would allow the multitude of siren voices calling her
to take control.
Mulder pulled a shirt over his shoulders, just as he
began to button it the walls of Nova, the floors, the
ceiling, the world around them shook.
"Mulder go." Scully said in a soft desperate voice.
Without another word Mulder stumbled from the
room as the sound of explosions echoed in the rocks,
leaving his ears ringing. He involuntarily stopped and
pressed his hands to his head as pounding began. It
was too loud, too intense. He slouched against the
wall, bracing himself with his arm as the tremors past
through his whole body. He let himself rest for a few
moments before taking a deep breath and pushing
himself from the wall.
People scattered in every direction. Mulder yelled his
warnings not to leave but nothing could be heard over
the explosions.
"Mulder!"
Mulder turned around, picking his name out amongst
the horrible noise in that odd way people are able to.
Skinner grabbed his shoulder and turned him towards
him. "What the hell is going on?!" Skinner yelled
even though he was inches from Mulder's face.
Mulder opened his mouth to answer, although he
didn't have much of one, when the shaking stopped.
The roar from the outside stopped. Slowly people
quieted. Waiting.
The all too short wave of silence was destroyed by a
new noise. One so loud and shattering it was almost
beyond Earthy comprehension. The earth shook
around them. Everyone tumbled to the floor.
Mulder covered his face as he felt shards of glass rain
down on him as some of the lamps exploded. Small
avalanches filled the exits of Nova with rocks and
boulders. Dust filled the chimneys; all the fires were
snuffed out quickly. The once fresh clear water,
immediately ran dark with debris.
Then it stopped. Just as quickly as it started, it
stopped.
Mulder lay flat on his back, the cool rocks calming
his adrenaline rushed body. An even louder ringing
sounded in his eyes, his head felt like it was on fire,
his ears burning. It hurt too much to move for quite a
few minutes.
With a deep painful breath Mulder forced himself to
sit up. He couldn't hear the people around him due to
the ringing but he could see them. Many lay as he
just had, clutching their heads in pain. Some trying to
stand in the very dim light.
Skinner struggled to sit by Mulder, flashing him a
look filled with pain and fear.
Closing his eyes, Mulder leaned his head back
against the wall to let the ringing and pounding
diminish enough so he could stand.
After what seemed like ages Mulder hoisted himself
to his feet. His hearing had cleared somewhat. "Is
everyone ok?" He asked looking around from where
he stood at the opening of the Main Room. He
nodded at the muffled replies. No one seemed
seriously hurt.
"We need to get out of here!" Someone yelled.
"Relax." Mulder said sipping into his professional
tone to calm. "We'll be safer down here."
"We are going to run out of air.We are trapped..
Where's Benjamin?. Why is it so dark?.. Oh God,
look at the water."
"Just relax." Skinner called out. "We'll be fine down
here for the time being."
Mulder leaned closer to Skinner. "I couldn't stop
people from running out of here."
Skinner nodded gravely. "I think it's safe to say they
didn't make it."
People started to gather around Mulder and Skinner,
asking them questions. "Should we try to dig out of
here?"
"We should wait a few hours. Let the air clear some."
Mulder said rubbing his temples lightly.
"What about the fires?"
"I'll try to rebuild the main fire is a while, if it stays
lit then the air should be clear enough for us to
breathe." Skinner said as Mulder nodded his
agreement.
The two men stood and answered question after
question. People trusted their leadership instinctively.
"Well there goes the rest of this year's crops."
Someone mumbled bitterly.
"We'll be fine." Mulder said seriously. "We have
more then enough canned food to get to next season."
"That's right." Benjamin said walking over to them.
"I've planned ahead of course."
Everyone reluctantly turned away from Mulder and
Skinner to Benjamin as he rambled on about how he
would take care of everything. "Let's start to get
these doorways cleared." He instructed.
"Mulder said that we should wait for the air to clear."
Someone called.
"Oh he did, did he." Benjamin said with a glare
towards Mulder.
"The fires are out, Benjamin." He called. "Look at the
water. The air won't be any help at all. I remember
the sky from bombing not nearly this close. Unless
you want the clean air in here to be ruined and all of
us suffocate I'd suggest you leave the rocks where
they are."
Benjamin's jaw clenched in anger. "Everyone please
check on your friends and family. Make sure
everyone is ok." He said without breaking the harsh
gaze he held with Mulder.
"Amanda." Skinner breathed in relief as she walked
up. "Are you ok?"
Letting out a shaky breath she gave him an even
shakier smile, touching his arm lightly. "Yeah.
Everyone who comes to the Medical Room seems to
be ok. Nothing I can't handle on my own."
"On your own?" Mulder asked softly. "Scully isn't in
there with you?"
Amanda shook her head slowly. "No. I thought she
was with you."
Mulder's eyes clamped shut in terror. "Oh Jesus."
Part 25
Day 155 (continued)
Mulder's eyes clamped in terror. "Oh Jesus."
"Mulder?" Skinner asked softly.
Mulder opened his eyes. "The chip. She knew They
were coming because of the chip."
"Chip?" Amanda asked dumbfounded.
Skinner waved the question away for the time being.
"You go check your room, we'll look around here."
"God I hope she didn't go outside." Mulder mumbled
as he took off jogging towards their room. He felt his
heart stop when he stepped into their dark but
definitely vacant room. Forcing down his terror
Mulder raced down the hallway, away from the Main
Room to the nearest doorway.
Even in the dim light Mulder could pick out Scully's
form huddled on the floor into front of the caved in
entrance.
"Scully." Mulder breathed in relief. He strode over to
her in determined strides and knelt beside her.
"Scully?"
She didn't answer, didn't even knowledge him. "I
have to go. I have to go. I have to go." She murmured
as she clawed at the rocks.
Mulder carefully reached for her hands. "Scully
stop." He clasped her hands in his and pulled them,
bloody and scraped, away the rocks. She fought
against him tiredly still murmuring.
"You found her." Langly said, relieved, as he hurried
towards him.
Mulder looked at him. "We have to get her back to
the room. Is that hallway crowded?"
Langly glanced. "Not too bad."
Mulder nodded. "Come here and hold her hands for
me."
Langly walked over, obviously confused. "What the
hell did she do?"
"She's being called." Mulder answered softly as he
scooped Scully up in his arms, pinning her hands
down to her chest with the arm wrapped around her
shoulders. "Are you guys ok?" Mulder asked
realizing this was the first time he had seen Langly
since whole ordeal began.
Langly nodded, not taking his eyes off Scully. "Yeah,
we came to check on you , and Skinner told us Scully
was missing."
"Good." Mulder shifted Scully in his arms, tucking
her head under his chin. "Ok Scully, let's go." He
whispered.
Her only response was mild struggling and her
continued whimpers.
Mulder pushed his way through the hallway and to
their room. "Langly, can you find Skinner?"
He nodded and left after he opened and shut the door
for Mulder.
Mulder set Scully down on the bed gently. She
immediately sat up again. "No." He said gently,
pushing her back down.
"I have to go." She said in a distant voice fighting
against his grasp on her hands.
"You aren't going any where." Mulder pinned both
her hands in one of his and pressed them against her
chest to hold her down.
Without knocking Skinner walked into the room. "Is
she ok?"
Amanda walked in behind him. "Oh God. Dana,
what did you do to your hands?"
"Amanda." Mulder interrupted. "Can you go get
some bandages so we can clean her up. If anyone
asks about her say she hit her head but will be there
to help the nurses whenever she can. No one needs to
check on her."
She nodded but didn't take her eyes off Scully.
"What's going on? Why is she acting like that?"
Skinner turned her toward the door. "Please,
Amanda, go get the bandages. I'll explain everything
when you get back. Don't tell anyone about this."
"Ok." She said weakly and left the room.
Skinner turned back to Mulder who was struggling to
hold Scully down without hurting her. "How is she?"
"Completely out of it." Mulder tilted Scully face
towards him with his free hand. Her glazed eyes
stared back unseeing, she was pale and sweating.
"Can you check who that is?" Mulder asked at a
knock the door.
Skinner opened the door for the Gunmen to walk in.
"Is she ok?" Frohike asked.
Mulder didn't answer, he just focused on trying to
hold her down as gentle as he could. But she fought
constantly, pushing and twisting. Mulder had to use
both hands to hold her now as he began to tire.
Amanda came back in quickly sitting by the bed.
"Byers, can you get me some water? Mulder I need
you to move your hands."
"If I let go of her she is going to hit you." Mulder said
matter of factly as he took a wrist in each of his
hands.
Amanda looked at him in confusion and fear but set
about cleaning Scully's restlessly moving hands. "I
can't wrap then while she is moving." She said
frustrated.
"Just do what you can, hurry. I don't think I can hold
her like this for long."
Skinner moved to the side of the bed. "I'll take one of
her arms."
Mulder reluctantly let go and held one of her hands in
both of his.
"Damn it. Amanda hurry up. She's a lot stronger
then she looks."
"Ok, done." Amanda said after another minute.
"Mulder.. We can't hold her like this forever."
Skinner said obviously struggling.
"She wasn't fighting like this at first." He mumbled.
They were silent for some time. Everyone was
thinking the same thing but it was Byers that worked
up the courage to say it. "I think you are going to
have to tie her."
Mulder looked over at him sharply. "I'm not going to
tie her."
"Mulder, we don't have a choice." Skinner said.
Amanda walked over, with the spare bandages in her
hands. "We can use these. They will be softer then
anything else."
Mulder looked down at Scully.
"Mulder.. We won't do this if you don't want us
to." Skinner said softly. "But I think we should before
one of us gets hurt." When Mulder still didn't say
anything Skinner went on. "You aren't doing this to
Scully. She isn't herself right now."
"God damn it." He hissed out, tears in his eyes. "Do
it." Mulder couldn't bear to look at Scully as Amanda
carefully tied her hands above her head to the
headboard. When it was done he sat back against the
wall with his eyes closed. But he could still hear
Scully's heavy breathing and her ever present
murmur. The bed moved slightly with her still
struggling.
"Walter. please tell me what is going on." Amanda
said as she sat heavily in a chair.
Skinner sat next to her, speaking softly. "Scully is an
abductee." Amanda's eyes widened. "About six years
ago she went missing for three months. When she
returned she didn't remember anything." Skinner
shook his head trying to find the simplest
explanations. "She found out later that she had a
small metal chip implanted in the back of her neck.
She had it removed and almost immediately came
down with an inoperable tumor. The cancer spread
and become worse. It was cured when Mulder found
another chip and replaced the one she removed.
That's why this is happening. They are calling to
her." Amanda slowly shook her head in confusion. "I
know it's hard to understand. But leave it at that for
now." Skinner didn't mention her infertility, that
wasn't of question at the moment. "They didn't want
to tell anyone. We need to keep it to ourselves."
She nodded quickly. "Of course."
Mulder opened is his eyes slowly over an hour later,
the Gunman had already left and Skinner and
Amanda still sat quietly in the corner. "She's quieting
down." He said softly. Glancing up at her wrists he
felt a wave of nausea wash over him. "God. She's
bleeding."
All three jumped at loud pounding on the door.
"Dana! Are you in there?!"
"Fuck." Mulder mumbled.
"I'll take care of it." Skinner said.
"No. I'll get it." Mulder pushed himself off of the bed
and opened the door a small amount. "Scully is
resting."
"I want to see her. What did you so to her?"
Benjamin ranted.
Mulder braced the door as Benjamin pushed. "You
aren't coming in, Benjamin."
Benjamin shoved his weight into the door, throwing
it open an other inch or two before Mulder regained
his balance. "I can see her! She's bleeding."
Mulder felt his anger, mostly towards himself, boil.
"You can't come in." Mulder pushed all his weight
against the door to shut it.
"Mulder."
His head shot over to the bed at the soft whisper. Her
struggling was gone and now just a confused and
painful tug pulled the bindings.
"I've got the door." Skinner said. "Why these damn
things don't have locks in beyond me." He mumbled.
"Scully? Can you hear me?"
She nodded slightly.
"I'll untie you."
"No." She whispered stopping Mulder. "Don't."
Mulder stooped close to her, having a hard time
hearing her soft voice over the pounding and yelling
at the door. "But. you are hurting yourself."
She shook her head, her eyes rolling back in her head
slightly. "I have to stay like this. I don't know if it is
over yet."
Mulder took his hands from her wrists and cupped
her face. "Are you sure?"
She nodded dully. "I don't want the baby to get hurt.
Leave me tied."
"Scully?" He said firmly as her eyes slipped closed.
"Scully, stay with me."
"I'm here." She whispered.
Mulder pressed his cheek against her belly. He
drowned out Benjamin's noise and focused on the
labored rise and fall of her breathing.
Part 26
Day 156
Scully struggled to consciousness. Her head pounded,
her ears rang painfully, her whole body was sore, and
her arms were tingling from being tied for so long.
"Mulder?" She whispered hoarsely.
"Yeah, sweetheart?" He walked from his post by the
door and sat by the bed. Benjamin had given up his
pounding hours ago. Skinner and Amanda had left a
few hours after that. And since then Mulder sat by the
door, which was barricaded by a chair.
"Can I have some water?"
Mulder nodded and brought a glass to her lips with
one hand while the other tilted her head slightly. "Not
too much. I don't know how much water we have
stored."
She nodded to tell him she was done. "The water
hasn't cleared?"
Mulder shrugged. "I don't know. Skinner said he
would tell me as soon as he knew. I think everyone is
resting now." With a furrowed brow he looked her up
and down. "Are you cold?"
"A little."
He carefully spread a blanket over her. "Scully, do
you think I can untie you now?"
She thought about it for a moment. She felt like
herself, just tired. "Ok." She nodded slowly.
Mulder let out a long breath of relief and carefully
untied her bruised and swollen wrists. Scully cradled
them, numb, in her lap as Mulder took turns cleaning
and bandaging them. "I'm so sorry." He whispered
brokenly.
"Don't be. I. I don't even want to think about what
could have happened if you hadn't done this." She
tugged his arm to pull him down next to her. Using
all the energy she could muster she rolled onto her
side and tucked herself against his body. "If you
hadn't I might have hurt you trying to leave. or hurt
the baby." Scully forcefully swallowed the lump in
her throat. "You had to do it. I'm thankful you did."
Mulder said nothing. Just ran his hands lightly up and
down her back.
"I'm so tired." Scully whispered after long moments
of silence.
Pressing his lips to her temple Mulder whispered to
her; "Go to sleep. You need to rest."
"So do you." She said as she drifted.
"I'm fine." His breath tickled her hair.
Despite how tired she was Scully smiled. "That's my
line."
Mulder gave her a sleepy smile against her skin. "I
love you, Scully."
"Mmm." She mumbled close to sleep. "Love you
too."
Day 161
Mulder woke with a start to a knock at the door. He
carefully shifted Scully, still asleep, out of his arms.
Tucking his gun to his side he leaned against the
door. "Who is it?"
"Skinner."
Mulder placed his gun back on the dresser top and
moved the chair away from the door then stepped out
into the hallway rubbing his face.
"I woke you, sorry." Skinner said.
"No, no. Don't worry about it. What's up?"
Skinner nodded his head in the direction of the Main
Room. "Air just cleared enough for a fire, not a very
strong fire, but it's a start. The water. I don't even
want to mention the water. Looks like we are stuck
down here another day."
Mulder sighed and leaned back against the wall after
a quick glance at Scully. "I dread getting out there
and seeing if anything is left."
Skinner nodded. "Hopefully some livestock made it.
Animals are smarter then they look, maybe they
found someplace to go. But the fields are going to be
ruined. I don't know how much we will be able to fix
before the ground freezes."
Nodding, Mulder glanced again at Scully, not
wanting to let her out of his sight for long. "It's going
to be hell."
"How is she?" Mulder's continuous glances didn't go
unnoticed by Skinner.
"She's... resting. I think that is the most I can hope
for-" Mulder broke off sharply as he watched Scully
roll over in bed. She immediately settled again so he
turned some of his attention back to Skinner.
"Anything with Benjamin?"
Skinner shook his head. "Nothing I know of. He is
pretty busy with people's questions. I haven't seen
Amanda yet this morning."
Mulder wasn't able to suppress a yawn. He smiled a
little ashamedly. "Sorry."
Skinner smirked and gestured to Mulder's room. "Get
some more sleep. I'll check in with you guys as soon
as anything happens. And I brought some water." He
handed over a reserve jug.
"Thanks. I'll talk to you later." Mulder nodded
appreciatively before stepping back into the cold
room. He struggled to build a small fire before
slipping back into bed.
Scully murmured wordlessly at his familiar presents
and cuddled close to his warmth.
Mulder wrapped an arm around her small body and
burrowed his face in her hair. "It's going to be ok."
He whispered to her sleeping body. "Please, God, let
everything be ok."
Day 161
Scully nudged Mulder with her elbow to rouse him.
He gave a sleepy grunt as question. "Someone is at
the door." She whispered out, her head still ached and
it took more energy then she had to move her arms.
"I'll get it, you stay right there." Mulder answered
immediately hoisting himself up.
"I wasn't planning on moving." Scully mumbled
while trying to find a comfortable position for her
aching body. It was impossible.
Mulder moved the chair securing the door and
opened it a crack expecting to see the Gunmen or
Skinner. He frowned when coming face to face with
Benjamin. "What can I do for you?" He glanced over
his shoulder, partly to check on Scully and partly to
make sure his gun was still on the dresser.
"I want to speak with Dana." Benjamin said with a
strident voice.
Scully gently pushed her way under Mulder's arm
that was braced against the wall between the open
door. "Yes, Benjamin?" She tried to keep the
irritation from her voice, but she was tired of this.
She and Mulder were finally together and the only
one causing a problem was Benjamin.
"Scully." Mulder said gently. "You need to rest." He
slipped his arm down from the wall to around her
waist.
She glanced up to him with a small smile. "I will. I
just want to see what Benjamin needs so I can do just
that." She turned back to Benjamin expectantly.
"Can you step out? I'd like to talk to you alone."
Scully shook her head and leaned more against
Mulder for support "I'm very tired. What is it that
you want?"
Benjamin narrowed his eyes at her stubbornness. She
wasn't making this any easier for him and he felt his
anger build more and more each time he tried to help
her, and she refused his help. She just didn't seem to
realize that she would be better off without Mulder.
He needed to show her, somehow, that her place was
with him. "I think you should come with me." He
held out a hand expectantly.
"What?!" Mulder asked in disbelief. "Who the hell do
you think you are?" Scully placed a hand over his
chest when he went to take a step forward. The gentle
pressure reminded him that they had to be careful.
"You aren't good for Dana, Mulder. I'm afraid for
her safety when she is with you."
"Benjamin." Scully said quickly, in a tone that left no
room for argument. "I appreciate your concern, but
you have everything backwards." She leaned heavily
back against Mulder, trying to convey that this was
where she wanted to be. "Please, I want to go back to
sleep."
"I want to know what happened the other night,
Dana. People say-"
"I don't care what people are saying." Scully
interrupted quickly. "I hit my head and I was
unconscious. I am still recovering. Good bye." She
pressed back against Mulder, he took the hint and
shut the door, securing it quickly as Scully crawled
back in bed.
Mulder sat at her hip on the edge of the bed,
smoothing the blankets up around her.
With a sudden gasp she sat upright.
"What? Scully, what?" Mulder panicked, ready for
her to start fighting to leave Nova again.
A slow smile spread across her face, then a soft
laugh. "The baby." She placed her hand over her
steadily rising belly. "I felt it." She laughed again, in
amazement.
"You did?" Mulder tentatively placed his hand over
tummy.
Nodding she moved his hand to where she felt the
slight sensation. "I doubt you can feel it. It was just a
small. flutter almost." Scully said sadly, she wanted
Mulder to share this.
Mulder just smiled, rubbing her soft skin lightly.
Scully giggled. "There it is again."
Mulder leaned forward, pressing his forehead against
hers. He couldn't feel the movement, but he knew it
was there. The look of complete wonder of Scully's
face was enough evidence for him.
Part 27
Day 163
"Scully." Mulder rubbed Scully's thigh lightly to
rouse her.
"I'm awake." She said sleepily, rolling on to her back
to look up at him.
Mulder tenderly tucked a strand of hair behind her
ear. "I've got to go. We're going to try clearing a
doorway."
Scully sat up with a yawn. "Ok, I'll come give you
guys a hand."
Mulder laughed and pushed her shoulders until she
was lying down again. "That's pretty funny Scully."
"I'm feeling much better, Mulder." She said sternly,
sitting up again.
"Then go to the Medical Room." He replied as he tied
his shoes.
Scully just glared at him. She knew she shouldn't be
doing anything else, but it didn't mean she was happy
about it.
"Don't give me that look." He leaned over and kissed
her cheek. "I'll talk to you later."
"Bye." She grumbled.
Mulder wiped the sweat off his forehead with the
back of his arm.
"Hey! I see light." Mike called from his spot,
crouched on the ground.
Mulder kneeled down beside him and peered out the
small opening. "Looks hazy but clear enough to
breathe." Squinting he looked around in the low light.
"Let's start up there." He pointed to the high right
corner of the opening.
"We can't reach that high." Mark pointed out.
"You noticed that too." Skinner mumbled. "Well we
really don't have a choice. If we start any lower the
whole thing might tumble in on us." He glanced over
his shoulder, pausing to smile as Scully and Amanda
walked up perfectly aware of their situation.
Scully touched Mulder's arm lightly. "Boost me up
on your shoulder, Mulder. I'll do it."
"No." Mulder said plainly, shaking his head.
"I can do it." Amanda said before Scully continued.
"Walter, you can hold me up there."
Skinner nodded, avoiding Scully's bitter gaze. "Ok,
Mandy." He said lifting her up to sit on his right
shoulder, his hands securing her legs.
Mulder leaned close to Scully's ear, trying not to
laugh. "Mandy?"
"Shh." She said swatting at his arm.
Mulder stood up right with a soft chuckle.
Benjamin walked up wordlessly, no one
acknowledged him either. They all stood in silence as
they watched rock by rock tumble away to expose
dusty dry air.
Still without a word they all walked out into the open.
Swallowing thickly, Scully placed a hand over her
mouth as she looked around. "Oh God. Mulder."
He just nodded absently.
The Earth was turned upside down in front of them.
Trees lay half buried, the once organized fields were
no longer visible, the barns in the distance were only
partially standing, the destruction was endless.
"Ok." Mulder said softly after some time, breaking
the silence. "Let's.start looking around. There
should be twelve people." He used the word people
carefully, they were looking for bodies. It was that
dreadfully simple.
"Hopefully some livestock made it through this. We
should check the water too. See how that is looking."
Skinner added.
Benjamin had looked on in an angry silence. "Now
wait a moment." He said through clenched teeth.
Everyone turned to him expectantly.
Benjamin struggled to find something to tell them all.
But the truth was; he had no idea what to do.
"Everyone stay in groups of two." He said quickly.
People nodded and paired off.
"Dana, you come with me." Benjamin stepped
forward to take her arm.
Mulder immediately stepped in front of him. "No.
She's not going anywhere with you." Scully touched
Mulder's arm lightly, trying to bring his focus back
to her. It didn't work. "This has gone far enough."
"Mulder." Skinner said in a warning voice.
"You just leave her alone. Is that clear?" Mulder took
a step forward, anger blazing in his eyes.
"Mulder." Scully said sternly.
"I think you are the one that should leave her alone,
Mulder." Benjamin said as he took a step to close
more the space between him and Mulder. "She
belongs with me."
"You are fucking insane!" Mulder yelled. Everyone
had left but Skinner, Amanda, and Scully. Their pleas
for the men to calm down went unheard.
"You are dangerous! You hurt her. I've seen you. I
can see the bruises on her wrists. Do you beat her at
night? When you are angry? When you want sex with
her? You force her into it, don't you? You don't even
want that baby."
"Bastard." Mulder lurched forward at him.
"Mulder, stop!" Scully stepped between the two men
and took a hold of Mulder's wrists.
He froze. "Scully, let go." He pulled his hands away
but she held fast.
Benjamin moved forward, seeing Mulder fight
against her hold. But Skinner stepped in front of him.
His solid weight effectively making Benjamin
reconsider his thoughts of pulling Scully away from
Mulder. But he didn't want to stand there and watch
him brainwash her into thinking she was good for
him any longer. It made him sick, to watch the way
Mulder controlled her every thought. How an
intelligent woman could fall under the spell of such a
man was unimaginable to Benjamin.
"No." She said shaking her head. The only way
Mulder was going to get to Benjamin was to push her
out of the way. "I want you to walk away from this
Mulder. You have nothing to prove. Mulder, look at
me."
He tore his furious gaze away from Benjamin and
looked down at Scully's pleaded eyes. "Scully, let
go." He said softly even as he fought to control his
breathing. He shifted slightly under her hold, hoping
she would let up.
"No, dad." Amanda said as Benjamin went to move
out of Skinner's hold. "You leave them alone. This
has nothing to do with you." Angry tears ran silently
down her cheeks. "Why can't you leave them alone?"
Benjamin glared at his daughter. "So you are with
them now?" He gestured to Skinner with a nod of his
head. "This one has your mind messed up. You don't
know who you are anymore."
"No." She said shaking her head. "I finally do know
who I am, dad. For the first time."
Scully ignored everyone else, just focusing on getting
Mulder to listen to her. "Please Mulder. Listen to
me." When she had his eyes locked with hers she
continued. "You don't have anything to prove.
Everyone here knows you would never hurt me." She
spoke softly, just to him. But the three on lookers
heard her. "You've saved my life more times then I
even want to count. You take care of me, you don't
hurt me. You would never hurt me."
Mulder looked away, his emotions were too high. His
mind was torn between forcing Scully away so he
could end the problem with Benjamin. But if he did
that he would have to do just that; force. It was a
word he just didn't know when it came to Scully. He
couldn't do it. Scully was right. It was impossible for
him to hurt her.
"Look at me, love." She said softly.
Mulder looked back, swallowing back emotions as
tears swam in his eyes.
Scully slid her hands from his wrists to his face,
cupping his stubbled cheeks in her warm palms.
"Walk away from this. He isn't worth it. Ok?"
Mulder nodded in her grasp.
Scully smiled a soft gratified smile. "Ok. Let's go
back to our room for a little while. I think I need to
lie down and rest."
Mulder nodded again.
She tipped his head down, pressing his forehead to
hers. "Thank you." After a moment, they walked, in
silence back down to their room.
Part 28
Day 165
Amanda watched Skinner carefully. "Walter?" He
didn't reply to her soft voice. "Walter?" She asked,
slightly louder. Certain he was sound asleep she
slipped out of bed. She dressed quickly, keeping her
eyes on him. As silently as possible she crossed the
room and crouched by the dresser. She carefully
opened the bottom drawer, mindful of the squeak she
knew would come. Taking quick glances at the bed
she pushed her hand under the piles of clothes until
she felt the cool metal of a gun. Slowly, quietly she
tucked it in the front of her jeans before standing.
With one last look at the sleeping man she stepped
out the door and into the silent halls of Nova.
Day 168
Mulder rubbed his hands together for warmth. "We
found Henry." He said simply to Scully as he stepped
into the Medical Room.
Her hand wavered slightly as she put away towels at
the news. Henry was the last body missing. "Where?"
Scully asked, only because she had nothing else to
say.
Mulder didn't answer. Stepping up behind her he
wrapped his arms around her waist and set his
forehead on her shoulder.
"Are you ok?" She asked softly after some time.
"Yeah." He breathed against her neck. "I'm just worn
out. We started rebuilding the barn today." He stood
straight so that Scully could turn in his arms.
"Enough animals made it so that we should be able to
rebreed the stock." He added rubbing his face.
"Still clearing the trees from the fields?"
He nodded. "I think we will be doing that until next
season, but at least we can use those trees for fire
wood." He shook his head, obviously wanting the
topic to be over with. "Are you done here?"
Scully looked around to make sure she has cleaned
up after the day. "Yeah, I'm ready."
"Good. I need to get cleaned up then I'm going to
pass out in bed." Mulder placed a hand on the small
of her back and guided Scully from the room.
Scully immediately set about filling the fireplace with
wood as Mulder stripped down to his boxers. "Lay
down." She instructed him, pointing to the bed.
He gave her a quizzical look but gladly complied.
Taking a seat by his legs, Scully rung out a cloth and
washed away the day's sweat with the damp towel.
Mulder watched her through heavy lids as she
finished with legs, after lifting them to wash
underneath also. She sat down on his thighs and
bathed his chest in long smooth strokes.
With each pass of the cloth Mulder felt a little more
of the stress and tension ease from his body.
Scully watched as his eyes slowly closed, his breath
deepening, his body relaxing under her fingers.
Picking up his hand she studied it as she washed
away the dirt. His skin had toughened from the hard
conditions. But underneath the wear and tear it was
still that same hand. Loving and tender, but strong
and lethal.
"Turn over." Scully whispered, getting up on to her
knees so he could do as asked.
In his half sleep state, Mulder rolled. Without
bothering to shift his body from his initial position he
settled heavily into the bed.
Scully sat softly on his lower back, not wanting to
interrupt his calmness. Calm was a luxury Mulder
didn't allow himself these days. He was constantly
glancing over his shoulder, speaking in hushed tones
with Skinner, he watched Benjamin without anymore
pretense.
Scully ran the cloth over his back and shoulders,
savoring the way his muscles yielded to her
ministrations. Rubbing the cloth against the back of
his neck she tilted her head to look at his face. He
was asleep. Peaceful and as unguarded as he would
let himself become at this time. Scully tossed the
damp cloth to the side and lay facing him. She ran
her fingertips down the side of his face before letting
her palm rest over his cheek, his breathing puffing
warmly against the tender skin of her wrist. Shifting
slightly she moved closer to him, wrapping her arm
around his neck. Blanketing his body with hers.
Offering what minimal protection she could from the
things that threatened him.
Say 170
"Mulder."
Mulder poked his head out from under where he was
trying to repair a collapsed chimney. "Yeah,
Benjamin?" He kept his voice as even and free of
hatred as possible.
"I need you to do a job."
"I'm doing one right now." He stated, moving back
under the stones.
Benjamin narrowed his eyes at the man. "Well you
can finish it tomorrow."
With an audible sigh Mulder pushed himself out from
under the walls of Nova and stood, brushing the dust
from himself.
Benjamin met Mulder's eyes steadily. "Walk to the
river, make sure there aren't any trees down. We
don't need to have bark and dead leaves in our
drinking water." With his orders delivered, Benjamin
turned and started to walk away.
"Excuse me?" Mulder asked dumbfounded.
"I'm sure you can handle the job on your own. If any
trees are down you and your friend Skinner can go
back tomorrow and drag them out." He called over
his shoulder.
Glaring at the older man's back Mulder sucked in a
deep breath, with it his pride. Kicking a rock from the
pile he was using to repair the chimney he set out
towards the river.
"There you are." Scully said relieved. Without giving
Mulder a chance to shut the door she wrapped her
arms around his neck.
He placed his hands gently on her waist. He was still
too angry about the day's events to fully appreciate
Scully being in his arms.
"You all right?" Scully asked releasing his from her
hold.
He nodded. "Yeah." His voice was coated with
annoyance.
"Good." She said with a satisfied nod. "Now get out
of here."
Mulder looked at her with a confused expression.
"The guys stopped by and told me to send you over
for some poker as soon as you got back." She
explained.
Mulder shook his head slowly. "No. I'll stay here. I
haven't seen you all day."
"I know." She said as she turned him toward the still
open door. "But I will still be here in a few hours. Go
relax. Take some of your anger out on them when
they try to cheat." Scully teased lightly.
Mulder glanced over his shoulder at her. As much as
he missed her, he didn't want to sit still. He needed to
be doing something to control the emotions bottled
up inside him. "Ok." He complied softly. "I won't be
too long."
Getting up on her toes Scully placed a lingering kiss
on his cheek. "You take as long as you need."
Mulder smiled, for the first time that day. "Thanks,
Scully."
She just smiled in response and pushed him in the
direction of the Main Room.
Day 174
"Shh." Mulder soothed softly in Scully's ear. The
dreams had become worse. Twice a night. Never
changing, never giving more information.
With a shaky breath Scully sunk back into Mulder's
chest as his hand stroked her hair lightly, her head
resting on the other.
"Ok now?" He asked softly, placing a light kiss on
the side on her neck.
Scully nodded numbly as she stared unseeing at the
wall in front of her.
They lay in silence for a long time, each lost in their
own thoughts. A slow smile crossed Scully face as
she took Mulder's hand in hers. "Feel this." She
whispered, pressing his palm against her belly.
He let out a soft quick breath against her neck as he
felt the gentle kick from inside her womb.
Scully ran her hand from his wrist to elbow over and
over as he felt the movement of his child for the first
time.
It was many minutes before Mulder slid his hand
from her stomach to her cheek, turning her head to
press his lips against hers. His tongue parted her lips
gently but insistently. She gladly accepted as she
turned fully onto her back. Mulder wasted no time
covering her body with his. Scully felt the warmth, of
his body, and anticipation, spread through her like a
fire.
Eager to feel her skin against his, Mulder pulled
away the few clothes they were wearing to bed. He
pressed open mouthed kisses to her belly, her breasts,
her neck, and finally to her mouth again. "I love
you." He breathed. Kissing her again before she got a
chance to reply with words. So she answered in
actions. She pulled his body into the cradle of her
thighs, welcoming him into her.
The invitation did not go unanswered.
Scully broke their kiss with a soft whimper. His
movements were slow, deliberate, and almost
dreamlike in their languorous quality. But wonderful.
Tilting her head, Scully watched his face. Their eyes
met, and locked. Wavering only as each reached their
peak.
Mulder settled, with a long breath, against her body.
Scully held him against her, in her, not ready for any
connection-spell to be broken. Weaving a hand into
his hair she pulled his ear to her lips. "I love you."
She finally responded, in words.
Part 29
Day 176
"No, dad."
"Amanda you don't have a choice." Benjamin
slammed his fist down on his table, Amanda startled.
"I am telling you this is what you have to do, and you
will do it."
She couldn't look at him. As much as she wanted to,
as much as she knew it would help her stand up
against him she couldn't. She was too afraid.
"You will respect me, Amanda." He said firmly.
"You will do as I ask."
Day 179
"Dana, how are you feeling?"
Scully smiled politely at Mary as she waited to pick
up the morning rations. "Fine, thank you."
The elderly woman glanced from Scully's face to her
belly. "Bigger everyday." Scully nodded in
agreement. "How far along are you now?"
"About five months."
"I barely showed with my first child, but my second-
my poor husband had to roll me everywhere after
seven months. I have a feeling you are going to have
the same problem, being as petite as you are." Scully
laughed softly as Mary reminisced. "Are you and
Mulder planning on having any more children?"
Scully froze, the question being a complete surprise.
After a moment of thought she spoke. "I hope so."
She picked up her bag. "Have a good day, Mary."
"You too, Dana." Mary called after her.
The moment Scully stepped into her room she
handed the bag of food over to Mulder and sat at the
table. He insisted on making breakfast for her every
morning.
"What are you thinking about?" Mulder asked after
long moments in silence.
Scully glanced at him, his back to her as he cooked.
Fiddling with the edge of a book sitting on the table
she spoke softly. "The baby-do you want this baby?"
She blurted out, her voice fun of fear and worry.
He turned to her slowly, looking her straight in the
eye. "Yes, of course I do."
Scully began to speak again-looking at the floor-
before he even finished. "We weren't planning on
this. I know you didn't think it would happen. And its
not like I asked you if it is something you wanted."
Mulder stooped down in front of Scully's lap, taking
her face in his hands. "I want this baby more then
anything right now."
She still wouldn't focus on his eyes. "I know you
aren't going to walk away from me. I know you will,
you already are taking responsibility-"
Scully was cut off by Mulder's soft laugh. "Oh,
Scully." He looked up at her with an amused smile.
"You are the most intelligent woman I have ever met,
but sometimes you are pretty dense." He stopped
smiling, though, when he saw her desperate need for
reassurance. Moving close to her, he turned her face,
looking directly into her eyes. "I want this baby.
There's no simpler way to say it. You and this child
are the only reasons I am still at Nova. You know me,
this place isn't working for me. But you are making it
bearable. You are keeping me sane. like you always
do. And I want this baby. I'll say it over and over for
the rest of my life if you need me to." He was silent
for a moment. "I'll be honest with you, since you can
always see through me when I try to bullshit. I am
scared. Scared shitless actually. The idea of being
responsible for the upbringing of a person is. I
don't even know how to describe it. But I swear to
you Scully, and to our baby, that I will do a better job
then my father did."
Leaning forward Scully kissed a tear that ran down
Mulder's cheek. "I know." She whispered, her
forehead against his. "I know that. You are a good
man-the best I have even known. Better then my
father." She admitted softly. "And those aren't easy
footsteps to follow. I know you'll be a wonderful
father because he was."
Mulder let out a sigh and burrowed his face into the
crook of her neck.
Day 181
"All right, spill it."
Amanda looked up at Skinner from where she was
aimlessly stirring a bowl of rice. "What?"
Skinner sat beside her giving his best interrogation
expression. "These past few days you have been
acting strange."
"Strange?" She leaned back in her chair, crossing her
arms over her chest.
He nodded, not changing his train of questions
despite her defensive posture. "Yes, strange." Skinner
counted the mannerisms on his fingers. "You've been
quiet, jumpy, preoccupied, I can go on if you'd like?"
Amanda stood from the table, pushing the chair
violently. "I don't need this."
Skinner stood and took her arm in his hand quickly.
"Mandy, wait."
"What?" She asked not looking at him. "So you can
act like my father some more, no thank you."
"I wasn't acting like your father."
"Yes you were." Pulling her arm out of his grasp she
spun around. "Telling me how I am acting and what I
am doing wrong."
"Amanda, I was not telling you what you were doing
wrong." Skinner spoke softly, calmly. "I was just
trying to figure out what is wrong."
"No." She said sharply. "You are trying to tell me
what to do."
Skinner watched her for a moment. She was close to
tears and trembling. He lowered his voice even more.
"That's not true. I just want to know if something is
bothering you."
"Nothing is bothering me, nothing is wrong. All is
right with the world." Amanda's voice was still sharp
and defensive. "I'm going now."
"Mandy?" He called after her.
"No, Walter. Leave me alone." The slamming door
emphasized the end of their conversation.
Day 184
Scully rubbed her eyes with her fingers. "I'm tired."
She stated simply.
"Then you should go to bed." Mulder said just as
simply.
She looked over at the bed with distaste, one hand
over her protruding belly. "It's not easy getting into
bed, I hope you realize this."
Mulder smiled as he nodded. "I know. I've seen you
try to get in and out of bed." He couldn't help but
chuckle at the visual.
Scully sat on the edge of the bed with a pout. "Not
funny."
"I know. I know." Mulder said walking over to her
feet. Taking her legs in his hands he swung them up
and onto the bed.
Scully relaxed back against the pillows. "I hope you
come back before I need to get up again."
"Would you rather I stay?"
She waved him away lightly. "No, go play with your
little friends."
Mulder sat on the side of the bed. After placing a
light kiss on her lips he pressed his forehead against
hers. "You sure?"
"Yeah." She placed her hand on his cheek. "I'll be
fine. I'm just going to go to sleep."
"Ok." Mulder pressed his lips to her forehead. "I'll
try not to wake you when I come back."
Scully nodded as she closed her eyes.
"'Night, Scully." He whispered before standing to
leave the room, turning off the lamps to leave the
room in almost complete darkness.
***
Amanda sat in the silence of her room. The book she
held in her hands had been on the same page for over
an hour.
For over a week Amanda had been waiting in a stage
of readiness. Waiting for the sign that time had run
out. That time had caught up with her and she
couldn't pretend any longer.
The creak of the door opening next door to her
snapped her wandering mind back to the task at hand.
With a deep steadying breath Amanda stood from her
chair.
***
Scully jerked awake. The only sound in the room
were the quick puffs of her breath, the only light the
hot timbers left in the fireplace.
She gave herself a moment to recover from her all
too familiar nightmare.
It was cold in her room. But getting out of bed to put
more wood in the fire just to get back in bed a
moment later did not seem logical. She pulled the
blankets up under her chin and settled back into the
bed, putting the dream out of her mind. Mulder
would be back soon she knew. He could get the fire
going again, hopefully she wouldn't have the dream
again before he returned.
***
"Hands above the table, Frohike." Langly said with a
suspicious glare.
Frohike returned the look. "Why? What do you think
I am doing under here?"
"Frohike. the possibilities are frightening." Mulder
supplied with a smirk.
"Very funny." He mumbled.
"I've got nothing." Skinner's cards slid across the
table before colliding with pile of small rocks.
Byers looked up from his cards with raised brows.
Langly leaned over. "What's up his ass?" Byers just
shrugged.
"I don't even want to talk about it." Skinner said
sternly, hearing them despite their pathetic attempts
to whisper. "I'm not going to think about it either."
"Trouble in paradise?" Mulder asked ignoring
Skinner's request not to talk about it.
Skinner groaned.
Mulder nodded to Skinner's wordless response. "I
know how you feel. Just when you think everything
is going well, something happens."
***
Benjamin leaned his head against the wall. The
sounds of muffled men's voices came through the
thick wood.
With a self satisfied nod he turned and made his way
down the hallway.
***
Scully was roused, only slightly, by the near silent
sounds of movement in the room. She shifted a little.
As soon as she met the resistance of the still
unaccustomed weight of her belly she stilled. It was
just easier. And the scenario was always the same.
She had just woken up from one dream it seemed and
yet she was having another.
The feelings where there. Someone was in the room,
but not Mulder. She couldn't move easily, because of
the baby. And it was dark, without even opening her
eyes she knew it was.
Scully stiffened suddenly. Briefly a small part of her
mind fought the rest, this was not her dream. But it
was. She forced her eyes open to see the shadowy
figure of Benjamin standing over her. Just like usual.
But something was different this time. As he reached
his hand out to touch her she could hear his low raspy
breathing. That had never happened before.
Before she could move, or even yell out, before she
had time to think a gunshot echoed off the stone
walls of Nova. A thick moist warmth spread over
Scully's body as crushing weight pinned her down.
Part 30
Day 184 (continued)
***
His heart stopped. The gunshot echoing off the walls
of Nova stopped everything, just for a missed
heartbeat.
"What the fuck?" Skinner muttered.
Mulder didn't hear him. He had only one thought in
his mind. Scully.
His chair fell to the side with a dull thud, the door
smacked against the wall as he threw it open. And
Mulder ran. He ran with his heart in his throat down
the hallway. His shoe clad feet thumped along the
stone floor in an unearthly speed. He saw the door to
his room, wide open, what seemed miles away. His
breath came out in harsh, uneven pants in the cool
dark air.
Finally, after what seems like hours but was only a
few moments, Mulder stepped into his room. And
stopped dead in his tracks.
The metallic smell of blood was thick in the air,
making his stomach turn sharply. The still air was
bitter on his tongue with the smoke from the gun still
settling around him. His heart pounding in his ears
drowned out all the other slight noises in the room.
The soft crackle of the diminishing fire. The panicked
breathing of Amanda. And the strangled sounds of
struggle from Scully's bed.
All at once Mulder began to breathe again, to think
again. He pushed his way past a trembling Amanda
and to the bed.
"Mulder." A panicked rasp came from Scully as she
tried to move out from under the weight of Benjamin.
With a disgusted tug Mulder pulled Benjamin's limp
body from Scully. The hot blood was a shock to his
clammy hands. The thick liquid soaked through his
shirt.
Benjamin's body landed with a heavy thud at his feet.
"Scully?" Mulder asked looking her up and down. All
he could see was blood. Glistening and fresh over her
clothes, over her skin, splattered on the bed, pooling
on the floor. "Are you hurt?" Mulder ran his hands
over her body, feeling for anything. "Scully."
She only trembled under his questioning touch.
Mulder took her face in his hands, shuddering at his
blood-coated fingers slipped on her damp skin. "Are
you hurt?"
She still didn't answer.
"What the hell?" Skinner said in a daze from the
doorway. "Amanda?" Skinner kneeled beside the
chair she sat in, ignoring the rest of the room.
"I had to." She whispered.
"What?" Skinner glanced over at Mulder. Skinner
saw Benjamin's body. He saw Scully covered in
blood.
He saw Mulder desperately trying to get her to
respond to him.
"I had to." She repeated. "He was going to take her."
"What?" Was all Skinner was capable of repeating, as
he looked closely at her pale drawn face.
Amanda continued in a barely audible whisper. "I
knew he was going to do it. I've known for a long
time. I've seen it before. This isn't the first time he
has tried to do this." Streams streamed down her face.
"I-I couldn't let him do it to Dana. I couldn't." She
began to sob opening.
"Shh. Shh. It's ok." Skinner pulled her head down to
his shoulder.
"Scully?" Mulder asked with desperation. "Fuck." He
cursed softly. Leaning down her carefully pulled her
shaking body up into his arms. She was cold and
slippery from the blood. Her drying cheek stuck to
Mulder's now bloodied shirt. He secured her body
against his, whispering his love into her ear. Pushing
his way through the gathered people in the hall, he
managed to order the Gunmen to follow him. With
determined strides, unhindered by Scully's weight, he
made his way to the vacant Medical Room. The thick
scent of blood followed them like a cloud through
Nova.
The short walk seemed to last for hours as Scully
shivered in his hold. But finally he set her down on
an empty cot. "Byers, can you make a fire." Mulder
didn't bother to listen for a reply. "Langly, Frohike,
don't let anyone in." Mulder turned back to Scully,
immediately pulling off her soaked clothing. He
waited until Byers closed the door behind him, a
fresh fire in the corner of the room, before he
removed the last of Scully's clothing. He lay her
down and quickly covered her with a blanket as she
starred up at the ceiling with glazed eyes. Mulder
pulled his wet shirt over his head quickly. He picked
Scully back up in his arms and brought her over to
the fire. He sat, cradling her body in his arms rocking
gently. "Scully. Come on, come back to me." He
whispered brokenly.
After what seemed like hours passed Scully finally
came back to her body again. She finally felt the cold
her body was reacting to violently. The fleeting
thought that she was in shock went through her mind.
All she did was burrow herself more into the warmth
of Mulder's body. In response his arms tightened
around her, holding her closer to him. His breath
tickled her neck comfortingly as he pressed his
temple to hers. No words were spoken. None were
needed at the time. Mulder continued to rock her
slowly letting Scully's mind come back to itself.
***
"Amanda, I need you to tell me what happened?"
Skinner said softly. He had brought her back to her
room, where it was quiet.
"I killed my father." She said simply. "He was going
to hurt Dana."
Skinner nodded and leaned back in his chair.
According to the Rule Book anyone who committed
murder was banned from Nova and to be shot if seen
within Nova's area.
Those were Benjamin's rules.
But Benjamin was dead. With a perfect shot to the
back of his head. At the moment his body was being
taken away from Nova, not to be buried in the newly
constructed cemetery where the bodies of the ones
who died during the attack rested. In the two hours
time that had passed no one objected to his burial
away from Nova. No one mourned his death. No one
demanded punishment to Amanda. They only asked
one question; were Dana and the baby ok.
***
"Mulder." Scully murmured against his neck.
Mulder pulled away slightly, one arm cradling her
back the other stroked her dried blood streaked hair
from her face. "Yes?"
Scully let her eyes slip closed as his warm hand
settled on her cheek. "Just Mulder." She said softly.
He pushed his lips to her forehead with a slight nod.
"I'm here."
A shiver ran through Scully's body. She tucked
herself impossibly closer to him, as if trying to crawl
under his very skin.
As far as he could, Mulder inched closer to the fire.
His hand skimmed her belly. But he didn't voice his
concerns. Scully knew them.
"I think I'm ok." She said softly. "I feel ok. Cold and
shaky, but ok."
Mulder rubbed his free hand up and down her arm.
"I'll warm you up."
"It's ok." She slurred slightly.
"No it's not." He whispered into the near silence of
the room. "You are in shock."
She said nothing. Letting her fingers flex against his
bare chest. His skin was warm and firm next to her
chilled fingers. Scully focused on the slight dip the
pressure of her touch made on his muscles, instead of
the replay of her living nightmare when she closed
her eyes. A slight shudder shot through her body as
her skin remembered the feel of hot blood spilling
over her, the dead weight of his body on top of hers,
the fear that had settled itself in her heart.
Day 185
Scully woke slowly. She tensed for a moment when
she realized she was nude, but the familiar warmth of
Mulder's body against hers relaxed her. She opened
her eyes, Mulder spooned up closely behind her.
They were laying a cot pulled up close to the
dwindling fire. Scully felt warm and safe in Mulder's
tight hold. Carefully, even though she knew he would
wake, she shifted in his arms and turned to face him.
Mulder's eyes fluttered opened just as Scully pressed
her face into the warmth of his shoulder. He gave a
wordless greeting by skimming his hand along her
shoulder blade to the bend in her knee, then back up
again. He repeated this until his hand felt hot from
the gentle friction of skin on skin.
With a soft sigh Scully bent her leg over his waist,
her arm around his rib cage, effectively holding him
to her. The heat between their skin encased in heavy
blankets was almost unbearable. Scully shifted until
she poked a foot out into the cooler air surrounding
them. After a moment she was still too warm.
Sensing this, feeling the same himself, Mulder
shrugged the blanket from their upper bodies.
Scully's back glowed from the fire. Her hair was hot
from the heat of the flames as Mulder buried his hand
in it. He gently tilted her head up and pressed his lips
her hers. Scully released a breath into his mouth,
taking in his. Wanting more contact with him Scully
shifted closer to his mouth. A deep moan became lost
in their kiss as the bottom swell of Scully's stomach
brushed Mulder's erection. Neither knew who the
moan came from.
Scully could feel the questions and concerned words
forming in Mulder's chest. But she wouldn't allow
them to surface. She didn't want any words. She just
wanted to feel.
With a steady push she rolled Mulder onto his back.
He made a soft questioning sound in his throat, but
Scully wouldn't release his mouth from hers to let
him voice it.
The blankets pooled around Scully's waist as she
straddled his thighs, the only thing separating them
was the thin cloth of Mulder's boxers.
Mulder shifted, pulling them up until his back was
against the wall, their faces level. His breath came
out in heavy waves through his nose as his hands slid
up her back, over her arms wrapped around his neck,
back down her back then up to cradle her breasts.
A soft gasp escaped her mouth, threatening to break
the kiss. But Scully wouldn't allow it. The ache low
in her belly was becoming urgent. She had to feel
him. She had to have the pleasant sensation of his
body stretching and filling her. With each touch, she
felt him erase the horrible feeling of blood on her
body. She wanted shared sweat and tears to wash it
away. With a shaking hand she pushed Mulder's
boxers down enough to release him. She took his
hardness into her hand, feeling the mutual need
between them.
With a groan Mulder pulled his head away, but
Scully followed him. She pressed her tongue against
his in a silent cry as she sank down on to him. All the
breath left Mulder's lungs, brushing across her sweat
dampened face. Mulder took control of the never
ending kiss as Scully began to rock above him in
short determined strokes. With every touch of his
engorged skin against her swollen flesh a little more
the nightmare eased from her mind. She knew she
would never forget it. But with Mulder touching her
it was easy to push the fear into the back of her mind.
The kiss stilled as their need for air became more
urgent, but their lips didn't part. Pressing closer
together with each down stroke of Scully, separating
marginally as she moved away, only to return at a
faster pace. With a sudden firm press against
Mulder's mouth Scully's body clutched and pulled at
his. Their soft sounds lost within each other. Scully
wouldn't still, or slow. Sweat dripped down her
spine, cooling her heated skin for only a moment.
Mulder's hands clenched rhythmically on her waist.
Until with a strong pull against him he shuddered and
released into her body.
The kiss finally broke as they struggled to regain
their breathing, foreheads pressed together. They
were silent for many moments, just listening to their
slowly evening breathing and the crackle of the fire.
When Scully finally spoke they were the words that
Mulder needed to hear. "I'm ok now. We are both
ok." The only words he needed.
Part 31
Day 185 (continued)
***
The cool air hit the heated skin of Mulder's chest as
soon as he opened the door out into the hallway. He
shivered, but that was better then walking around in a
blood coated shirt.
"Mulder, is everything ok?" Byers said jumping up
from his spot on the ground with Langly. No one had
seen Mulder or Scully since last night.
"Yeah, we're all right." He rubbed the back of his
neck with his hand as he looked out into the Main
Room.
"What about everything out here?"
Langly shrugged. "Everyone is pretty much going
about their business. There are a lot of questions as
what to do now though."
Mulder snorted with a slight laugh. "Like I know."
Byers looked at Langly for a moment before
speaking. "Everyone wants you to take over."
In response Mulder let out a sharp laugh then rubbed
his face. "Oh God." He groaned.
"They trust you. You have done a lot since the attack
so everyone looks up to you now. We need someone
to-"
"Why me?" He interrupted. Then quickly held up a
hand. "Right now I just want to go get some clean
clothes for Scully and I."
Langly gestured for Mulder to follow him while
Byers stayed behind. "We moved all your things into
a new room."
Mulder followed in a daze. Too many thought were
swimming around his mind for him to focus on
anything but walking behind Langly. He barely
registered the friendly yet sympathetic smiles of the
people he passed. He murmured indifferent responses
to those who greeted him.
Langly opened the door to his new room in the East
Hallway and left him to change.
Mulder wandered in with interest. The room wasn't
any larger the one before, though it was long in
shape. Immediately in front of him was the fireplace,
with the table in front of that. To the left the bed was
pushed in the corner with the dresser across from it at
the foot of the bed. Atop the dresser were the pictures
of Scully's family and Samantha. He walked to the
dresser, unbuttoning his jeans and toeing off his
shoes as he went. After pulling on his fresh clothes he
gathered the same for Scully. He turned, to the leave
the room, but stopped with a soft smile. In the corner
opposite the bed a crib was pushed up against the
wall. Placing the armful of clothes on the table next
to their rations he walked over to the crib. It was dark
oak, obviously old, but sturdy, and strong. Mulder
ran his hand along the smooth edges. He finally felt
like things were falling into place for them.
Day 186
It was silent. Uncomfortable, tense, waiting silence.
"Just ask, Walter." Amanda spat out.
Skinner glanced up at her from his set at the table,
she starred stony faced back at him as she leaned
against the far wall. "I just would like to know how
you knew this was going to happen?"
Amanda shrugged slightly, she was stalling, she had
been stalling for the last few days. "I told you. I've
seen it before. He lusts after a woman, she doesn't
respond how he thinks he should, so he takes her."
"And he had done this before?"
She dragged the toe of her shoe on the stone floor,
avoiding his eyes. "A few times."
"No one else knew about this?" Skinner urged her on
gently.
"They knew. But ever since he started Nova no one
had bothered to stand up to him, they didn't think
they could without being kicked out."
"What exactly did he do with the women he took?"
Amanda looked up at him sharply, then away again.
"I don't know." She murmured. "But no one would
see them for a few days and then. they just weren't
the same."
Skinner nodded slowly. "You didn't want it to
happen to Scully?"
"Of course not!" She began to pace the long wall of
the room. "She's always been so nice to me, to
everyone. She is so happy with Mulder. I couldn't
bear to watch my father take that away from her.. I
was afraid he would hurt her baby. He didn't want
her to have it. He didn't want her to have anything
with Mulder." She trailed off.
Skinner remained silent for many minutes. "So you
took my gun."
She nodded. "I had to."
Slowly Skinner stood from the table, leaning his
weight on the edge as he watched her continue to
pace. "You stole it from me."
Amanda stopped and looked at him in awe. "This
isn't about you, Walter." She said firmly before
shaking her head in disgust, continuing to pace.
"It is when MY gun is used to kill someone." Skinner
immediately regretted his harsh tone.
"You think I don't feel badly?" She asked facing him
with an icy stare. "I know you have killed before,
Walter. You know the feeling of killing a stranger, or
even someone you had spoken to before. But you
have never killed a parent-your only parent. Do you
think I don't regret stealing from you? That I don't
think about the fact that I shot my father in the back
of his head without him knowing I was there? I think
about it every second of the day." She finished in a
barely audible hiss.
Skinner met her hard gaze with a softer one. An
understanding one. "Believe it or not Amanda, but I
can imagine how you feel."
Slumping against the wall in defeat, Amanda didn't
look at Skinner. "I don't think that's possible." She
whispered.
Day 188
Scully fiddled and shifted the contents of the dresser
around. The shirts, once in the top drawer, she moved
to the middle drawer. It wasn't right. She moved
them back to the top. But she didn't like having the
pants on the bottom, she moved those higher. She had
no clue were to put the spare sheets for the bed, they
took up too much room. With a defeated sigh as sat
on the end of the bed with an arm load of clothes,
looking with question at the offending furniture.
Mulder, who had been watching Scully for the last
hour at the table, walked over and took the
unorganized clothes from her and shoved them into a
random drawer, holding up a hand to stop her from
getting up to move them. He sat down next to her.
Scully was sitting, her hands turning restlessly in her
lap. The moment Mulder sat by her she
unconsciously leaned into him.
"What's going on?" He asked gently, placing an arm
around her waist.
"Nothing." With a soft smile she looked up at
Mulder. He leaned down and met her for a gentle
kiss. Scully broke away with a slight laugh, placing
her hands over her belly.
Mulder smiled, placing a hand next to hers. Leaning
over he kissed her temple, then leaned over more and
kissed her belly before standing.
"Where are you going?" Scully asked quickly.
"I told you yesterday, some people want to meet me
in the Main Room. Do you want to come? It's
basically going to be about me running Nova."
Mulder shook his head is astonishment.
Scully thought for a moment before shaking her head
and sliding up further on the bed. "No, I'll wait for
you here."
Mulder pulled another shirt over his head before
stepping out into the cool hallways of Nova. "Are
you sure?"
"Yeah. Will you be back soon?"
With a few long strides Mulder kissed her again. "I'll
do my best."
Scully caught his face in her hands, pressing another
kiss on his lips before letting him go. "Hurry."
Mulder gave her a small smile and a nod before
leaving the room.
"Hey." Mulder greeted discreetly to Skinner as he
walked up to his side. It was no secret that Mulder
wasn't comfortable with the responsibility that
people wanted to place on him.
"We were beginning to wonder if you were going to
show." Alex called, with a pleased smile, from across
the room.
Mulder let out an uncomfortable laugh. The meeting
was small, only a dozen people. Mulder knew them
all, they were the ones who were always working.
Always looking out for others.
"Well let's get right to the point so you can get back
to Dana." Alex continued. "You already know, we
want you-and Walter to take over Nova." He held up
a hand to stop Mulder's immediate protests. "I know,
and we all understand it's a lot of work and
responsibility and we know you have a lot to deal
with having a baby on the way. But someone has to
do it, and everyone feels that you and Walter are the
best bet. And Walter has already agreed."
With a slow nod Mulder leaned back against the wall,
hands deep in his pockets.
"We need people, more then one so we won't have
the problems we did with Benjamin." Matt started up
after Mulder said nothing for many tense minutes.
"You and Walter have experience working together."
Mulder let out a soft private laugh as he remembered
the many times he and Skinner locked horns in the
old days. Matt ignored his strange response. "We
need you two to take care of any problems, you have
before. As well as possible with Benjamin around."
"I understand what you are saying." Mulder finally
spoke up. "I am flattered that you thought of me, but I
don't know if it's necessarily a good idea."
"Why not?" Alex asked quickly.
Laughing at himself, Mulder shook his head. "I don't
know. I would just hate for it not to work out.
Maybe we should just hang in there for a while.
Finish the clean up and just see what happens."
"I saw three ships yesterday." Linda said from the
back of the group. She was a small frail woman, but
she wasn't afraid to voice her opinions or thoughts at
any time.
Mumbling a curse Mulder rubbed his face.
"You handled it well last time, Mulder. If something
like that happens again it would make us all feel
better to have you in charge."
Mulder looked up at Linda nodding. "I'll think about
it." He said after a few moments. "That's all I can
promise." He turned to Skinner. "I'll get in touch
with you, Skinner, we can talk about this."
"Whenever you have the time." Skinner said with a
nod.
Mulder said curt good byes and left to go back to his
room.
Part 32
Day 190
"Maybe you should just do it, Mulder." Scully said
stroking her fingers through his hair.
"Do what?" He asked not moving his head from its
spot pillowed on her breasts as his hand rubbed her
protruding belly lightly.
Scully smiled at the back of his head. For the past
few days Mulder has been in his own little world;
deep in thought. "Agree to run Nova."
He let out a deep sigh, half his focus on Nova and
half on the gentle motions against Scully's flesh
under his palm. "I don't know." He mumbled after
some time. "I'll admit, I'm flattered they want me.
But it's a lot of work. What if people change their
minds suddenly? Then what? Am I supposed to walk
away and let someone else take over?"
"You wont be doing it alone. Skinner already said he
would do it. People are more likely to trust two
people's joint decisions, rather then one. You can
back each other up if it comes to that."
"Skinner and I only get along so well." Mulder
grumbled. He frowned slightly; the baby had stopped
kicking a few moments ago. As gently as he could,
Mulder rolled over onto his other side so he could
look up at Scully's face.
"It will be fine." She said cupping his jaw in her
hand. "I think you should do it."
With a thoughtful sigh Mulder nodded.
Day 192
Amanda wouldn't turn around. She knew Skinner
was standing behind her in the doorway of the
Medical Room.
"Mandy?" He called to her after a few tense
moments.
"Yes?" Was her curt response.
Skinner walked into the room, shutting the door
softly behind him. "Can we talk?"
"About what, Walter?" Amanda pointlessly moved
the contents of a shelf around, anything not to face
Skinner.
"You certainly aren't making this easy."
"I don't know what you are talking about."
Skinner slammed his palm down on the tabletop.
Amanda jumped. "Fine, Amanda." He said standing.
"Act like a spoiled brat-"
She spun around with a look of anger that stopped
Skinner's sentence dead. "Don't you dare say that,
Walter!"
"Well its true" He struggled to keep his voice in
check. "Amanda, you won't even talk to me, or
anyone for that matter."
"That's because the only thing people want to talk
about is how I killed my father." Amanda swallowed
back a sob.
"That's not true. We don't have to talk about that. We
can talk about anything at all. Hell, we don't even
have to talk." He took a tentative step towards her,
with his hand out stretched. But stopped when she
took two steps away. "Let's take a walk, it's fairly
warm outside."
"No." She said firmly.
Skinner let out a frustrated breath. "Amanda.
please, don't shut me out."
"I'll do whatever I want." Amanda turned away from
him as she silently cursed herself for sounding so
childish.
"I give up. When you want to speak to me again I'll
be waiting for you." With that Skinner slammed the
door behind him.
***
"Mind if I sit down?" Scully asked shyly as she
walked up to Skinner, he sat near the front of the
church room, they were the only two there at a fairly
late hour.
Skinner looked up, surprised, but pleased. "Please
do."
Scully carefully lowered herself into the chair.
"Mulder just announced his acceptance, I'm sure you
had a part in that."
She laughed softly. "It did take a little
encouragement. I think he is feeling a little
overwhelmed at the moment."
Skinner nodded. "That's understandable." He glanced
over his shoulder towards the door for the church. It
seemed, for the first time since Scully was attacked
she came along. Skinner hadn't seen her anywhere,
outside of her room, without Mulder. "Where is he?"
"Getting a few books."
He nodded again as the silence took on a tense
undertone. "I'm worried about Amanda." Skinner
said after a few long moments. "I'm.. I'm trying to
help her but she just won't let me."
"She might just need some time."
"No. Everyday I think she is getting worse. It's like
I'm losing her piece by piece. It's like she doesn't
even want anything to do with me anymore."
Scully was silent for a few moments. "Skinner. she
just lost the only man in her life, by her own hand.
She is probably feeling a wary towards you now."
Leaning back in his chair, Skinner rubbed his face.
"But if I let her slip away I might not get her back."
Sensing Mulder's presence, Scully glanced over he
shoulder to see him standing in the doorway. Placing
a comforting hand on Skinner's arm she rose. "If I
see Amanda I'll try to talk with her. Give her time,
these changes aren't easy on anyone."
"I know. Take care, Scully." He said as she walked
down the aisle.
Day 194
"Hey, Scully?"
"Hmm?" She didn't look up from her partly reclined
position on the bed reading at Mulder, who sat at the
table.
Mulder paused for a moment. For days he had been
working up the courage, figuring out the wording, to
ask this. "Scully. How did you know Benjamin was
going to come after you?" He spoke in one long
breath.
Slowly she looked up from her book and met his
curious and nervous eyes. "I.. I don't really know.
Maternal instinct maybe." She said with a slightly
uncomfortable laugh.
At her response Mulder stood from his chair, gaining
some confidence that she actually answered the
question. "Maternal instincts caused dreams seeing
into the future?"
Scully let out a long breath. "Mulder. I really don't
know."
As if he didn't hear her, he went on. "I just don't
understand how you knew. I'm not questioning that
you did by all means. I was there. I saw the way you
reacted to the dreams." He sat on the edge of the bed,
starring at her intently. "I wish there was a way to
research and study it."
"You're sounding like me." Scully muttered with a
slight smile.
Mulder laughed, with a nervous edge. He didn't
know why this conversation was so touchy for them.
Maybe it was because he had too many things on his
mind, too many questions that Scully could react
oddly too. "I just want answers."
Scully dismissed him with a wave of her hand. "I just
want to forget about it."
He nodded slowly. "I don't think you have forgotten
about it, Scully."
She swallowed thickly. "I. think I am over it."
Scully was never able to lie outright to Mulder,
unless she was lying to herself at the same time.
"Scully." Mulder placed his hand on her knee to bring
her eyes up to his, they had strayed to the closed
book in her hands. "We both know you are far from
over it."
"What do you mean by that?" She said, suddenly
feeling defensive.
"Scully. You don't- it's impossible to get over
something so quickly."
"Don't analyze me, Mulder." Scully said sternly.
He held up a hand. "I'm not. I've just noticed you are
acting differently."
"How so?" She asked tentatively, not really sure if
she wanted the answer or not.
Mulder paused for a moment, he hadn't planned the
wording for this, he was hoping he would have to talk
about it. "You barely leave the room. And when you
do, its only when I go with you. That's not like you,
Scully."
"I don't want to talk about this right now, Mulder."
"Scully-" He started before she interrupted.
"I'm not up to it right now, I'm tired." She said
quickly, knowing he would not push the subject after
he saying that.
"It's.. just going to take time, Scully." Mulder
spoke calmly, as if softening the tone of his voice
would take the edge out of hers. "And I'm here for
you."
Scully nodded, swallowing her pride. Hearing her
own words used toward her made her realize just how
far from being healed she was. And how lucky she
was to have Mulder to help her.
Part 33
Day 197
"There she is." Scully said gesturing discretely
towards Amanda as she walked into the Medical
Room.
Mulder let out a long breath. "I really think you
should let Skinner and Amanda work it out for
themselves. It's really none of our business."
"Mulder." She said in a decisive tone. "I told Skinner
I would talk with Amanda when I saw her. She must
have realized it because she has been avoiding me for
days. Now before she manages to get out of sight
again, I'm going to see her. Will you wait here for
me?"
With a defeated sigh Mulder leaned against the wall
by their pile of firewood. "Yeah."
"I'll try not to take too long." She called as she
walked across the Main Room.
Hearing Scully enter the room Amanda looked up
from where she was putting a book away. "I was just
leaving." Amanda said quickly.
Scully stayed in the doorway. "Amanda, I wanted to
talk with you for a moment."
"I really have things I need to do." She said trying to
side step Scully, not being rude enough to push her
aside, but she wouldn't let her pass.
"It will just take a moment." At Amanda's reluctant
nod Scully shut the door and gestured towards the
table for Amanda to sit with her.
"I suppose this is about what happened." Amanda
began, not making eye contact with Scully. "About
what my father was trying to do. I'm sorry, I really
am." She began to speak quickly. "I should have
warned you about him. About what he would try to
do if you didn't return his affection."
"Amanda." Scully said firmly to stop her rambling.
"It's not about that. I don't want to talk about that any
more then you do. This is about Skinner."
Amanda visibly cringed. "I. I don't really want to-"
"I understand that." Scully interrupted. "But you need
to think about what this is doing to Skinner. I have
known him for a long time, and this is the first time I
have ever seen him happy. He loves you, I know you
know that. You need to think about him."
"I do, trust me. I think about him often, even when I
try not to."
"Well tell him that." Scully said with a slight laugh.
"He feels like he is going to lose you."
"I'm scared I'm going to lose him." Amanda
whispered as she studied the grain on the tabletop.
"Don't let it happen then." Scully gave Amanda a
reassuring smile when she finally looked up. "Talk to
him. Do whatever you have to do so that you don't
lose each other."
Day 200
Scully quickly looked up from her book and froze
Mulder with an accusing stare. "Why do you keep
looking at me?"
Mulder opened his mouth to say something, but
nothing came out. He just shook his head stupidly.
"Well stop it." Scully grumbled looking back down to
her book. "You are starting to freak me out."
"Sorry." He mumbled, looking down only to glance
up at her again under his lashes.
"Mulder." Scully warned.
"I'm going for a walk before bed." He said jumping
up suddenly.
Scully looked up at him quickly. "I'll go too."
The thought of telling her that he needed some time
alone entered his mind, but left just as quickly. "All
right." Mulder handed her a heavy sweater to add to
her clothing. "We'll stay in Nova. It's too cold for
you to be walking outside at this time of the night."
"I'm not going to freeze, Mulder." Scully was
ceaselessly amused by Mulder's over-protective
streak. She hadn't found it funny when they were
partners, but now, away from the censorious eyes of
OPR and their other detractors, she allowed his
pampering, without any protest. Well, not much
anyway.
"I know that but." He trailed off, with no plan to
elaborate on his thoughts. "Ready?"
Scully reached up and turned down the last of the
lamps to a very dull glow. "Yes."
"Let me know when you get tired."
Scully smiled at him as he shut their door. "I will.
Walking might help my back." She added aimlessly.
"You didn't tell me your back was bothering you."
Mulder looked her up and down as if that would
explain her aliment.
Scully shrugged. "Nothing much. Just a little achy."
They walked in a comfortable silence for a while,
only giving brief greetings to the few people making
their nightly trips to the woodpile or the water source.
"Mulder?"
"Hmm?" He glanced at her for a moment. He was
enjoying the silence. It gave him time to think. About
nothing in particular, just to let his mind wander and
decompress.
Scully's speech faltered for a moment. "Do you want
a boy or a girl?"
Mulder let out a nervous laugh. "I. I don't know,
Scully."
She looked at him in disbelief. "Yes you do."
"Scully, no matter what I say it won't be the right
answer. This is a trick question."
"There is no right answer." Scully insisted.
Mulder let out a tense breath. "Ok, I'll tell you. But
don't ask me to explain why or anything, ok?"
"Deal." She said excitedly.
He looked at her with an unidentifiable smile. "Girl."
"Really?" At his nod she made a soft intrigued sound.
"I figured you would want a boy."
"Why's that?"
Scully shrugged. "I don't know. The father's usually
want a boy. You know, to play football with-"
"We don't have a football." Mulder interrupted with a
grin.
Rolling her eyes, she continued. "And the mother's
want girls to dress up and play with their hair."
"Are you saying you want a girl?" He asked quickly.
Scully thought about it for a moment. "Not
necessarily. I really don't know what I want."
"Yes you do." Mulder used her words against with a
mischievous smile.
"No, really. I don't."
Mulder shrugged. "Fine. Don't tell me, it's ok." He
looked at her with his kicked puppy face.
Scully laughed softly, taking his hand and
sandwiching it between both of hers. "Seriously. I
don't know. That's why I asked you. To see if it
would motivate direct thinking in one particular
way." Scully studied the differences in their hands for
a few moments. "It didn't though." She smiled up at
him. "I still don't know. I guess it doesn't matter."
"I know it doesn't. I would like a baby girl. But a
boy. Well, as you said, male pride in a male
offspring.
But the thought of a little girl, as beautiful as you...
That's a wonderful thing too."
Scully blushed slightly as he directed her back into
their room. She has no idea how long they were
walking for, she barely remembered passing the main
fire quite a few times. Her feet now ached slightly,
but the rest of her body felt refreshed. They both
stripped away most of their clothes, without turning
up the lamps and settled into bed. Mulder gently
rolled Scully on to her side, facing away from him.
Scully smiled sleepily as Mulder pressed the heel of
his hand against the base of her spine applying
pressure.
"This good?"
"Mmm." She sighed softly. "A little higher. Perfect."
Scully said as he found the right spot. She fell asleep
before his hand left her body.
Day 203
Mulder jolted awake to the pounding at his door.
"Mulder! Mulder there's a fire!"
He stumbled from the bed, the sheets tangled around
his waist slowing him down. "I'm coming!" Mulder
yelled as he pulled on his jeans and shoes.
"Mulder?"
"Go to the Medical Room." He told Scully as he
pulled open the door to the hallway, the acid smell of
smoke was still light in the air, but strong enough to
send another rush of adrenaline through his body. Out
of the corner of his eye Mulder saw Scully nod.
"Where is it?" He asked a panicked Eric once he
stepped out the door.
"Jane's room, right next to mine."
Mulder nodded and they made their way down the
hall at a gallop. "Is she still in there?"
"No, but her son is." Eric said softly between huffs of
the thickening air.
Mulder's stomach dropped. Jane had a five year old
son, James. Her husband was killed during the first
attacks when most of their house collapsed on them.
She had made the hike to Nova alone with her young
boy.
"She left him to get firewood, she started talking with
someone. Jane says he was asleep." Eric continued.
Rounding the slight curve in the hallway, Mulder
struggled not to completely double over as the smoke
filled his lungs. Squinting in the gray haze he saw
Skinner and a few other people struggling to control
the flames with buckets of water. "Is he still in
there?" Mulder called to Skinner as he crouched by
his side at the doorway, trying to look in amongst the
flames and smoke.
Skinner nodded grimly as he coughed.
"Should we start moving people out?" Kevin asked as
he threw another bucket of water into the room.
"No." Mulder said with a quick look down the
hallway, people had started to gather, forming an
assembly line to pass water quickly. "It shouldn't
spread beyond this room. It's too cold to have people
standing outside if it's not necessary." Water was
continually poured into the room, it began to be
difficult to hear anyone over the sizzles and pops of
the fire. "I'm going to go in there." Mulder said
suddenly.
Skinner grabbed his arm forcefully. "No you aren't"
"I have to." Mulder pulled his shirt up over his mouth
after wetting all his clothes down until he was
soaked. "The fire is over in that corner." He pointed
to the direct right where Jane said the dresser and
lamps were. "I'll check the bed which is over there."
The far left side of the room.
"I can't let you do it." Skinner said.
"Scully would go in herself if she was able." Mulder
said with firm contact with Skinner's eyes. He knew
Skinner was thinking about Scully, so was he. "I'll be
in and out. Just like that." Mulder snapped his fingers
before ducking his head and crawling into the heat.
The moment the flames surrounded him Mulder felt a
panic, starting deep in his chest and spreading every
where. His fingers to his toes. And he froze.
For how long he didn't know. Time stood still as he
felt his clothes heat and begin to singe on the edges.
A hot ember sparked and landed on the back of his
hand. Mulder jumper and flicked it from his hand.
With a deep burning breath he forced his body
forward. Ignoring the fear and focusing on finding
the young boy somewhere in the small but smoke
filled room.
Barely making the bed out amongst the thick air,
Mulder made his way towards it, all the while
struggling to get enough air into his lungs. Behind
him he could hear the sizzle and sputtering of the fire
as it was doused with water. Boiling drops of
condensation fell from the ceiling onto his skin. He
could feel where blisters were beginning to form on
his partially exposed arms. But he was finally at the
bed. Feeling his way around he hoisted himself up
onto the edge. It was impossible to see through the
steamy haze. Mulder felt around the bed. His
stomach started to knot more with each inch he
reached and did not encounter James. Finally,
reaching the furthest corner he found the warm
bundle of flesh curled into the sheets. He tried to call
out to him, but only choked on the smoke. Mulder
tucked the boy under one of his arms and dropped
back down to the floor. Judging by the suddenly
decreasing brightness of the room the fire was almost
out, but the smoke still made it impossible to see.
Dragging James as best he could, Mulder made his
way toward where the door should be. He could hear
Skinner calling his name, but could only cough and
wheeze in response. Mulder inched his way along the
floor, cringing as the tender skin on his palm came in
contact with the remaining embers and hot water.
Suddenly James was pulled from under his arm and
someone grabbed Mulder by the collar, hauling him
out of the room and down the hall into cleaner air.
Mulder lay coughing and gagging for a few long
moments as James was carried off to the Medical
Room. Finally, being able to breathe, Mulder lay on
his back, eyes closed, and let the cool air burn his
lungs.
"Mulder? Are you all right?" Skinner asked, kneeling
by his side.
He just nodded numbly.
"Ok. Scully is with James now. He was breathing
when you pulled him out, burned pretty bad in some
places. Can you get up? Scully is going to want to
take a look at you."
Mulder just nodded again. After another moment's
rest he rolled over onto all fours, letting himself catch
his breath again before Skinner helped to his feet.
"Oh she is going to kick your ass." Skinner said with
amusement as he dragged Mulder down the hallway.
After a long slow walk Skinner opened the door of
the Medical Room and deposited Mulder on the
nearest cot.
Scully glanced up from where she was tending James
with an obvious look of relief to Skinner as he gave a
slight nod and left to start cleaning up the damaged
area. With a final check on James, Scully walked to
Mulder and pulled a chair in front of him. "Are you
ok?" She asked cupping his jaw in her palms. Mulder
nodded tiredly. "Do you think you can talk?"
Mulder thought for a moment. Judging by the pain
that just breathing caused he wasn't in a hurry to try
speaking. So he shook his head slightly.
Scully nodded and tugged on his tee shirt until he
raised his arms so she could pull it off. Next she
unbuttoned his jeans and motioned for him to lie
down so she could pull his shoes and pants off. Once
left in only his boxers she bought a tub of water over
and a soft cloth. Mulder let his eyes slip shut as
Scully washed the soot from his face. Scully frowned
at the frequency of his cringes when she hit a tender
or blistered area. "You have a lot of burns." She said
softly. "None look to bad, nothing a little aloe and
bandaging won't take care of."
Mulder made a soft agreeable noise in the back on his
throat. A moment later he let out a hiss as Scully
began to carefully clean the large burns on his hands
and arms.
"This will only take a minute, then you can get some
rest." She said softly. After wrapping what spots
could be, Scully ran her hand through his hair.
"You're hair is pretty singed too." She said with an
amused smile.
Mulder just murmured wordlessly.
"Get some sleep." She pulled a few blankets over
him. "I want to stay here with James tonight, so you
might as well to."
Opening his eyes slightly Mulder tugged on Scully's
hand, trying to pull her down in bed with him. She
shook her head slightly and leaned down to kiss his
forehead. "I want to clean James' burns again in a
little while. Then I will go to sleep. I promise." She
rubbed his cheek until his eyes closed again and his
breathing evened out.
Day 204
At Mulder's painful groan Scully walked over and sat
on the edge of the bed. "Good morning." He groaned
louder. "You look like hell." She said good naturally,
rubbing her hand over the center of his chest.
"I feel like hell." He whispered hoarsely as he
struggled to sit up. "How's he doing?" Mulder
gestured to James asleep on the other side of the
room.
"Good." Scully tilted his face each way to look at the
burns. "His mother will be back in a few minutes,
then, since you are awake we can go back to our
room. I want you to rest for another few days." With
a sigh she let go of his face and leaned in close. "I
hope you realize what you did was really stupid."
"But very necessary."
"I know." She mumbled.
"How are you?" Mulder asked softly, placing his
hand on her belly.
Scully put her hand over his. "Good. I'm tired
though. I didn't get too much sleep last night." The
door opened and Scully smiled over her shoulder at
Jane.
"Oh, Mulder." Jane ran and wrapped her arms around
his neck, oblivious to his wince of pain. "Thank you
so much. I. There aren't any words to express.."
"It was my pleasure." Mulder said slightly
uncomfortably when Jane stepped back.
Scully stood, sensing Mulder's uncertainty on how to
handle this. "Well Jane, if you need anything I'll be
in my room."
"Yes, of course. You both get some rest."
Scully helped Mulder to his feet, the best she could
and they slowly, but determinedly left the room.
Mulder glanced at Scully nervously out of the corner
of his eye as they walked down the hallway. Opening
his mouth to speak every few seconds, but changing
his mind and clamping it closed again.
When they reached the doorway of their room Scully
stood in front of it, hands braced on the frame to
block it.
"Scully. What are you doing?" Mulder wasn't sure
if he should be concerned that this was some reaction
to the hormones raging in her body or if she had
finally had enough of his stupid stunts and was
kicking him out.
"We aren't going in until you tell me why you keep
looking at me like that, and what it is that you want to
say but can't seem to work the guts up to." She
smiled at him as he turned his head away from her in
embarrassment. "Come on Mulder, you know you
can't pull one over on me." Scully laughed softly.
"I.. It's nothing. It can wait."
"No it can't." She said, still smiling at him. She knew
she had him now. "I want to know what has you so
preoccupied lately."
Taking a deep breath Mulder met her eyes. "Ok..I
um." He trailed off.
Raising her eyebrows Scully waited, with a small
smile. "Spit it out." She said after he struggled for a
moment.
Flashing her a nervous smile, Mulder focused.
"Ok.. Will you marry me, Scully?"
Scully laughed, Mulder wasn't sure what to think
about that. "Sure, Mulder. I'll marry you." Scully
continued laughing as she turned to open the door,
Mulder caught her around the waist and turned her
back to him.
"Scully. I'm serious."
Leaning her weight back against the door she smile
up at him. "Mulder, there is no marriage in Nova. We
both know that. I'm not going anywhere so you don't
need to give a meaningless title to us."
Mulder let out a long breath, turning his eyes away
from her.
"What?" She asked losing her smile. "Mulder, why
are you acting like that?"
He suddenly laughed, an embarrassed and nervous
laugh. "The other day I. I talked to Father Ryan.."
"Mulder?"
"He um. He said he will marry us. Of course there
won't be any papers or anything. but I know a
religious wedding would have something you
wanted." Mulder trailed off, shaking his head at his
stupidity.
"You would do that for me?" Scully asked softly in
disbelief.
He nodded. "You know I would do anything for
you." He paused, gauging her reaction. "So. how
about it?" Biting his lip he leaned down slightly to
her level. "Will you marry me?"
Scully smiled as she wrapped her arms around his
neck. "Yes, I'll marry you."
Part 34
Day 204 (continued)
Mulder pressed his smiling lips to Scully's. "Thank
you." He breathed, resting his forehead against hers.
"Thank you?" She asked with amusement.
"Yes, thank you." Was all he said before kissing her
again. Without letting go he reached behind her and
opened their door, backing her slowly in.
Scully giggled a soft uncharacteristically giddy
giggle against his lips. She couldn't explain this
feeling if she had to. It was impossible. She was
happy, beyond belief, and nervous for some reason.
As a child Scully dreamed of the day she would
marry. In college she went through the phase of
thinking she didn't want to. Then in medical school,
learning about the development of children and how
amazing it all was, to put it simply, she wondered
how she would be able to juggle a family and the
career as a doctor. When she joined the FBI she
became married to her work-to Mulder is an abstract
way. She stopped believing that the typical family
life was possible for her. Now what she was going to
have would be anything other then typical. A miracle
baby and married to the only man she could ever
love. "I deserve this." She whispered against
Mulder's lips, without realizing it, as the back of her
knees hit the bed.
Mulder pulled back slightly, helping to lower her on
to the bed. "I don't." He said humbly as he settled on
his side next to her.
"You don't what?"
He pulled his shirt over his head to stop Scully's
insistent tugging. "I don't deserve you."
"Don't start with that." Her voice slightly muffled as
she pulled her own shirt off. "You do too deserve
this." Scully took his face in her hands, forcing him
to look at her. "We both do. We have fought for this,
cried and mourned for this, and quite literally shed
blood for this."
Mulder fell motionless, his hands locked in their
cradle around Scully's face, his body leaning gently
against hers. "So much has been taken from you-from
both of us. We've changed so much." He paused for a
moment, taking her body in with his eyes, letting
them linger on her belly.
An uncontrollable smile spread across Scully's face.
She let her hands wonder over the thick muscles of
his arms and back as a response.
"We've come a long way. And we do deserve this."
Mulder said on a sudden whim of self-approval.
Scully nodded slowly. For everything they had done,
for everything they were doing and everything they
would do, they were entitled to the pleasures of the
other's body, mind and spirit. "We do." She agreed
softly. "For the rest of our lives." His lips crushed
hers before the words completely left her mouth.
Day 205
Mulder stepped out of the Church with a determined
stride, trying his damnedest not to grin like a fool. He
wasn't doing well.
"Mulder?"
He spun around, a little too quickly, and almost
knocked Marsha off her feet. "Oh, sorry." Mulder
said quickly, trying to shake his thoughts away.
"What can I do for you, Marsha?"
"My chimney is a little clogged, could you help my
husband clean it out?"
Mulder sucked in a long breath. "Can't Skinner do
it?"
She shook her head. "He just left to help fix the
wagon of firewood that broke down. He won't be
back for hours."
"That's right, its over ten miles away." Mulder said
offhandedly under his breath. "Ok. Let's go do
this." Mulder said directing Marsha toward her
family's room.
****
"Have you seen Mulder?"
Randy shook his head at Scully. "Sorry, no."
Scully wrinkled her nose in frustration. Mumbling
her thanks she continued down the hallway towards
the Main Room. She had been looking for what
seemed like hours, it only seemed that way because
she couldn't move fast enough for her convenience.
Scully rounded the corner into the Main Room and
smacked right into someone. "Oof!"
She was righted before she fully lost her balance by
two hands on her elbows. "Whoa. There you are."
Mulder said with a chuckle. "I've been looking for
you."
Scully smiled up at him. "I think we have been
chasing each other around Nova most of the day."
Mulder made an agreeable noise as he steered her
through the room. "I talked to Father Ryan today,
he's waiting for us."
"Wait." Scully stopped and turned to look up at him.
"Today? We are going to get married TODAY?"
Mulder's jaw worked for a moment before words
came out. "But. I thought, I'm sorry, Scully. I just
thought when I asked you, right away was ok.. Is it
ok?"
"Yes!" She said quickly. "I just didn't realize."
Scully took his hand, squeezing it once she tugged
him toward the Church again. "Come on. Let's do
this."
With a smile Mulder wrapped his arm around
Scully's waist as they entered the empty room.
"Father Ryan?" Mulder called towards the closed
door of the confessional knowing Father Ryan spent
much of the day in the small room waiting.
The older man stepped out with a smile. "Dana, I see
Mulder finally tracked you down."
Scully nodded, biting her lip nervously.
The priest directed them over to the front of the room
as he sorted through books. "Mulder told me that you
both decided for the ceremony to just be the two of
you."
"Yes." Scully took Mulder's hand and gave it a firm
excited squeeze. "It seems right that way."
"I understand." Father Ryan stood up with a thick old
book in his hands. "Shall we begin?"
Mulder and Scully exchanged glances before
nodding.
"All right." Father Ryan started. "I'll begin with a
prayer: Loving God, I thank you for the gift of life
you gave and continue to give to me and to all of us.
Merciful God, I ask your pardon and forgiveness for
my own failure and the failure of all people to respect
and foster all forms of life in our universe. Gracious
God, I pray that with your grace, I and all people will
reverence, protect, and promote all life and that we
will be especially sensitive to the life of the unborn,
the abused, neglected, disabled, and the elderly. I
pray, too, that all who make decisions about life in
any form will do so with wisdom, love, and courage.
Living God, I praise and glorify you as Father,
Source of all life, as Son, Savior of our lives, and as
Spirit, Sanctifier of our lives. Amen." Father Ryan
paused for a moment as they echoed his last word.
"Dana, Mulder, you are both strong people. With
wonderful souls, you have given me hope for Nova
with the hope you have shown other people in their
errors. Together you will only be stronger. Although
marriage is not a legal title in the Nova community it
is more important to be bonded in this way for your
hearts. I believe you both already have this bond,
therefore I would like to give you both a moment to
express your feelings to each other before you are
joined in God's eyes." He turned to Scully. "Dana."
Scully turned to Mulder and met his moist eyes,
interlocking their fingers. "Mulder. There are no
words to describe how I feel about you, but I think- I
know you understand it. You have given me so much,
you have finally learned that everything I have given
up and lost, everything we both have lost, has lead up
to this moment. It has been worth the pain for
everything we have now. We deserve this." Scully
ended with the statement she realized they should
have learned to say many years ago.
"Mulder, anything you want to add?"
Mulder didn't break eye contact with Scully, he let
his heart speak. "You are everything to me, Scully. I
have said it before and I will say it a million times
more until the day I die." He shook his head in self
amusement. "The only other thing I have to say it that
I love you."
"I love you too." Scully added softly. Father Ryan
passed the open book to Scully, signaling her to read
the passage. "I Dana Scully, take you to be no other
than yourself, loving what I know of you, trusting
what I do not yet know. I will be true to you in all
things, I will share what I have and who I am, I will
love enough to risk being hurt, trust in joy, and
receive you as my equal, through all our years, and in
all that life may bring us."
Mulder took the offered book from Scully's hands. "I
Fox Mulder, take you to be no other than yourself,
loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not yet
know. I will be true to you in all things, I will share
what I have and who I am, I will love enough to risk
being hurt, trust in joy, and receive you as my equal,
through all our years, and in all that life may bring
us."
"Be appeased," Father Ryan began. "What greater
thing is there for two human souls than to feel that
they are joined for life - to strengthen each other in
all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to
minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each
other in silent, unspeakable memories at the moment
of the last parting." He smiled at them both. "For sake
of tradition. You may kiss the bride."
Mulder slowly took Scully's face in his hands,
leaning in just as slowly his pressed his lips against
hers for an endless moment.
Part 35
Day 206
"Ok, what is this all about?" Frohike asked Skinner
when he walked into their room.
Skinner shrugged. "All I know is Mulder wanted to
met us." He trailed off as Amanda entered the
room. She immediately turned her face away from
him and stood at the far side of Byers' room. Skinner
let out a long breath, rolling his shoulders and trying
to relax. He was desperate. Every time he tried to talk
to
Amanda she would blow up at him and refuse to
speak. Skinner tried to tell himself it was time to
move on, but it didn't seem possible, he wasn't ready
to give up. He turned his focus towards the doorway
as Mulder ushered Scully in, her cheeks were slightly
flushed and they were both smiling.
"What has gotten into you two?" Langly looked at
them suspiciously.
Mulder and Scully exchanged glances. "We got
married yesterday." Mulder blurted out happily.
"Huh?" Frohike spoke up from the back of the room.
Scully quickly explained the small ceremony,
apologized for not inviting anyone, and was
immediately bombarded with words of
congratulations and `it's about time's. After many
moments of excited talking everyone took turns
exiting the room to get started on the day's work.
Skinner saw Amanda walking slowly down the
hallway a few feet in front of him. He watched her
walk ahead of him longingly. For years Skinner has
been envious of Mulder and Scully's relationship, but
this topped it off. With a determined intake of breath
he strode up to Amanda's side.
Amanda looked up at him with a frown. "What do
you want Walter?"
"I was just hoping we could talk for a minute."
"There's nothing to talk about."
"Amanda-"
"No, Walter." She interrupted, turning around to face
him with a hand held up. "It's over. Accept it and
move on." Amanda turned to and started to walk
away.
"You can honestly say that Amanda?" He called after
her, becoming louder as she moved farther away.
"Turn around, look me in the eye and tell me it's
over." Skinner ignored the questioning murmurs of
the bystanders. "Amanda, ignoring me won't make
me go away." She still hadn't responded as she
rounded the corner and went out of sight. "I knew
you couldn't." Skinner whispered to himself.
Day 209
"My back hurts." Scully mumbled as she shifted in
her chair at the medical room.
Amanda looked over with a soft smile. "But you are
having a baby." She said in an envious tone.
Scully groaned. "Not soon enough. These next few
months are going to kill me, I know it." She looked
down at her stomach with a curious expression. "I
don't think I can get any bigger, I'll be so off balance
I'll be falling on my face all the time."
Amanda laughed as she sat down next to Scully. "But
after these last few months you will have a little baby
to take care of and raise."
Scully held up a hand to cut her off. "Please. I'm
anxious enough about this whole thing, don't remind
me."
"What are you talking about?" She asked with a
laugh. "You and Mulder are going to be wonderful
parents."
Scully sighed and ran her hands over her belly.
"What are you worried about?" Amanda asked with
serious interest.
"So many things could go wrong. So many little
things." Scully said softly, still looking at her
midsection. "It's hard to explain." She looked up with
a slightly embarrassed smile. "I hate to say it, but
when you are pregnant yourself I think you will
understand."
Amanda shook her head. "I don't think I will ever
have a family."
Scully was silent for a moment. "Not even with
Skinner?"
Amanda shifted uncomfortably.
"You know he loves you. It's obvious."
"Dana." Amanda said firmly as she stood up. "With
all due respect this is none of your business. But
Walter and I are finished-"
"Why?" Scully asked quickly. "Why are you over?
Where did things go wrong? He was there for you
and you shut him out suddenly. I don't understand it
and I don't think you do either. I used to do the same
thing with Mulder, a long time ago. I didn't know
why, I just did. Defense mechanism maybe. But I
missed out on the chance to have a few more great
years with him. I don't want you to make the same
mistake."
"Thanks, but I'll live my own life." Amanda walked
to the door and swung in open. "I'll be in my room if
you need me for anything." The door slammed closed
behind her.
Day 218
"Mulder. what happened to you?"
Mulder looked at her through strands of wet hair
hanging over his forehead. "It's raining. sleeting.
doing something cold and wet outside."
Frowning Scully stood up and helped him pull his
shirt off. "You are soaked. Take these wet clothes off
and get by the fire before you come down with a
cold."
"Yes, mom." He teased.
Scully glared at him as he stooped to pull his jeans
off. Once up right she dragged him by his arm to sit
on the edge of the bed near the fire. Mulder rubbed
his hands together trying to warm himself. "Why
were you out there in this weather anyway?"
"Just to piss you off." He answered nonchalantly.
"Ow!" He yelped while laughing, rubbing the back of
his head where Scully smacked him. "We finished
repairing the north barn. Almost finished in time,
but.. obviously not completely."
Scully sat with her legs folded under her behind him
and ran a dry towel over his damp shoulders and
back. With a deep sigh he leaned back into Scully's
warm touch.
"Mulder. I need to talk to you about something."
Scully said softly.
He groaned. "I hate when you start sentences off like
that." Mulder turned to face her, spreading his legs so
she was sitting, facing him, between them and leaned
back on his hands. "Ok, shoot."
Pressing her lips together she eyed him carefully for a
silent moment. "I want you to deliver the baby."
Mulder tilted his head back and let out a loud laugh.
"That's funny, Scully. Thanks, I needed a laugh." He
shook his head at her, still chuckling.
"Mulder, I'm serious." She said straight-faced.
His face slowly went slack. Mulder swallowed
thickly. "You're kidding." It wasn't a question, it was
a hopeful statement.
She shook her head slowly. "I'm serious. I want you
to do this."
Mulder shook his head firmly. "No way, Scully. No
way, no how. Not going to happen." He carefully slid
off the bad and paced the room.
"Mulder-"
"I can't believe you would ask me something like
that." He mumbled in shock.
Scully shifted to hang her legs over the side of the
bed. "There's no one else to do it."
"That's not true."
"Yes it is!" Scully struggled not to become defensive.
"*I* delivered the two babies born earlier-"
"Judy helped you." He interrupted.
Scully rolled her eyes. "Barely."
"Amanda can do it. She's been working with you for
a while now."
"Mulder!" She said in an agitated tone. "She just
learned how to stitch! She can't deliver the baby."
"I don't even know how to do that!"
Scully crossed her arms and scowled at him.
"Mulder.. I want you to do this for me. You'll do
fine. You can handle blood. sort of. And I trust you,
I need that. I can't have just anyone delivering the
baby."
Mulder sighed. "Scully.. I can't do that. What if
something goes wrong?"
She motioned for him to come out of the corner he
was currently cowering in. When he stood in front of
her she took his hands and pulled him down onto his
knees in front of her. "If something goes wrong I will
talk you through it." Scully massages his bare
shoulders with her hands, he was tense and had the
look of a frightened animal in his eyes.
"But what if you can't? Then what?"
She laughed softly. "Mulder you have read every
single page about pregnancy in every single book in
Nova, I'm sure you have read about anything that
could possibly happen."
"That's what scares me!" He exclaimed. "I wouldn't
know what to do."
"No one else here would either. I want you to do this
for me Mulder. Please." She leaded in closer to him,
looking him directly I the eyes.
"Scully. I can't."
She slid her hands up from his shoulders to cup his
face. "Yes you can. I need you to do this." She
whispered.
"Why? Why is it so important that I deliver our
baby."
Scully smiled softly. "You just answered your own
question. Our baby."
Mulder shook his head in confusion.
Scully spoke very slowly and deliberately. "I want
you to be the first person to lay hands on our child."
Mulder smiled involuntarily at the thought. "And I
want the baby to go directly from your arms to my
own. No one else's. Do you understand what I
mean?"
He nodded after a moment. "I do."
"Will you do it? Please, for me and for our baby?"
Scully pleaded him with her voice and with her eyes.
With a smile he nodded. "Yes, I'll do it."
Part 36
Day 225
Rolling over, still half asleep, Mulder swung his arm
out expecting to find Scully on the other side of the
bed. He opened his eyes, just to quickly close them
again, Scully already had all the lamps on in their
room but she wasn't in there. For a moment, a very
short moment, he debated in getting out of bed to find
her. But he was too comfortable and his body felt like
jelly. Promising himself to get up in a few minutes,
Mulder settled deeper into the pillows. It was Sunday
and he was in no hurry, if someone needed him they
would come get him.
Mulder jerked away from his almost-sleep at the
sound of the door opening.
"Morning, Sunshine." Scully greeted with mock
enthusiasm as she sat on the edge of the bed.
Groaning in response Mulder hoisted himself up on
his elbow and watched as Scully took peanuts, one by
one, out of a jar in her hand and popped them into her
mouth. "Who's cabinet did you raid this time?"
"Byers'." She answered without taking her eyes off
of the bounty in her hands. "He doesn't mind."
"Of course he doesn't." Mulder mumbled as he
flopped back down onto the bed.
"What do you mean by that?" Scully asked around a
peanut.
He smiled. "Nothing."
Scully glared at him before returning her focus to the
food with a "Whatever" muttered under her breath.
Bending his leg, Mulder nudged her back with his
foot to try to get her attention.
"Knock it off." She swatted his foot with one hand
behind her back.
Mulder pushed himself up to a sitting position and
leaned forward to kiss Scully's neck. She smiled and
arched her neck to give him move room, but
continued eating her peanuts. He suckled her ear lobe
into her mouth, while watching her reaction out of
the corner of his eye. After a moment he pulled away
and rested his chin on her shoulder. "Are you paying
any attention to me at all?"
"I'm hungry." She answered simply.
"So am I." He responded biting her earlobe.
Scully barked out laughter and turned to look at him.
"You've got to be kidding me!"
Mulder looked offended for a moment before
shrugging and moving to sit behind her, pulling her
back against his chest as he leaned against the wall. "I
tried." He muttered as he wrapped his arms around
her waist and settled he cheek on against hers, feeling
the slight movements as she chewed and swallowed.
She ate in silence for another few moments before
she eyes lost focus and she became motionless except
for breathing. "Scully?" Mulder watched her for a
response. "Scully are you with me?" He sat up, barely
catching her upper body as it fell slack without his
support.
Scully jerked with a sharp breath as she blinked for
the first time in a few minutes.
"Hey? What was that about?" Mulder asked angling
himself to see her face better.
Scully shook her head to orientate herself. "Sorry."
She mumbled. "I guess I zoned out for a minute."
Day 230
"How long do you think it will take before we are
bored with this?" Mulder asked conversationally as
he threw his ante rock into the center of the table.
Frohike looked up from seriously contemplating his
cards. "We could always play Go Fish."
"When I was a kid I used to think it was Gold Fish,
not Go Fish."
Everyone looked at Langly. "Thanks for sharing."
Skinner said with mock seriousness.
"What's wrong with sharing?" This time everyone
stared at Byers in confusion. "We never talk about
anything serious. We just sit here, play poker, and
talk about random things.. Never anything
substantial."
"Oh forget it." Byers said after spending a few
moment with everyone just staring at him.
"No." Skinner said slowly. "He's right."
"I don't want to talk seriously." Mulder spoke up.
"Don't we deal with enough stressful issues during
the day, Skinner? I just want to sit here and not
think."
Skinner nodded as he considered Mulder's words.
"Yeah. but still. Come on, Mulder, you're the
psychologist. Talking is good, right?"
He grumbled a positive response.
"So what serious business should be talk about?"
Byers asked with interest.
Skinner focused on his cards as he shuffled with great
concentration.
"Still having problems with Amanda I take it."
Skinner shot a hard look at Frohike. "Forget I said
anything."
"No way!" Langly said with a laugh. "You stressed
that we need to really talk, so talk."
"I said never mind." Skinner hissed out.
"Touchy subject?" Frohike asked as he leaned his
elbows on the table to get closer to Skinner in
interest.
Mulder cleared his throat to get their attention. "I
don't think this is any of our business, if he wants to
share he can."
Langly sat back in his chair with a sulky frown. "Just
when it was getting good you decide to take his side."
"You guys are just jealous cause you haven't gotten
any since we got here. and who knows how long
before that. I'll raise you." Mulder added quickly as
he tossed a rock onto the small pile in the center of
the table, ignoring the aggravated glares of the three
men while Skinner tried to smoother is laughter.
Day 234
"I'm tired." Scully grumbled as she crawled into bed.
Mulder made an agreeable noise as he settled next to
Scully, trapping her between his body and the wall.
He opened his arm for her as she moved to set her
head on his bisep. "Goodnight, Scully."
"Mmm." Was her soft response as sleep quickly took
her over.
***
Mulder grunted awake from a heavy weight on his
stomach. He opened his eyes and struggled to focus
in the dim light of the room. "Scully?" He asked her
as she determinedly tried to climb her way out of bed,
moving faster then was possible for her current
condition. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?" He pushed
himself to a sitting position, reaching out to take her
arm.
Scully quickly pulled herself from his grasp, almost
causing herself to tumble off the bed.
"Whoa." Mulder said securing her body with his
hands on her shoulders. "Scully, what are you
doing?"
She struggled away from his hold, but Mulder moved
out from under the blankets to follow her movements.
With a frustrated noise deep in her throat she
violently retched her body from him.
"Scully!" Mulder struggled to stand up in time to
block her obvious path to the door. "What has gotten
into you?"
"I have to go."
Part 37
Day 234 (continued)
"I have to go." Scully began to repeat softly under her
breath as she struggled against Mulder's hold on her
arms even as his heart shattered and his gut twisted in
terror. Mulder needed to keep her here, he knew that
much. He also knew last time this happened they
were attacked, people needed to be warned, he
needed to talk to Skinner. He couldn't do both.
"Not again." Mulder prayer softly as he began to drag
her back towards the bed. Scully fought against his
arms, throwing Mulder off balance. "Scully, stop.
Please." He begged in her ear as she pushed herself
forward. Holding Scully only by her upper arms
Mulder fell forward with her. To avoid falling on top
of her he let go of one of her arms to brace them
against the wall, but he didn't move in time and
Scully's forehead hit with a sickening thud. Mulder
jumped back from her.
Scully wasted no time in staggering towards the door,
unfazed by her injury, not noticing the trail of blood
that was dripping into her eyes.
For a short moment Mulder watched in shock. But as
Scully pulled the door open he pushed himself from
the wall, with a few strides he had caught her around
the shoulders.
Scully's muttering continued, rising in volume as she
pulled and pushed and twisted against Mulder's hold.
The hallway was empty in the early morning hours,
but if Mulder didn't get her back into their room soon
that could easily change.
"Scully, please stop this." Mulder pleaded through
clenched teeth as he tried to keep a grip on her small
body. With a quick, regretful movement he shifted
one arm around her waist, the other across her chest.
Leaning his weight back he dragged Scully back into
their room, kicking the door shut with a slam that
made him jump, his grip loosening momentarily.
Scully's out of control mind used that short moment
to twist in his arms, now facing Mulder.
Though he tried, he couldn't pin her arms between
them. Mulder barely caught the cry of pain in his
throat as Scully dug her nails into his cheeks. He
fought to shake her off while maintaining his hold.
With an arm across her lower back he pulled her to
him, belly to belly, then reached up with his other
hand and grabbed both her wrists and hauled them
away from his face. "Scully stop it" Mulder said
firmly and loudly, hoping to break the spell slightly.
She continued her utterances; "I have to go." And
stared up at him with a glassy eyed blank stare.
Mulder froze as watched her. She didn't look like
herself, her eyes wide and dilated. Blinking in sync
with the beginning of each sentence. Completely
unchanged as she struggled and pulled from him.
"Scully?" Mulder asked softly, studying her eyes for
any response. "Scully, can you hear-" Mulder's
sentence was cut off as Scully's hands, still encased
in his, struck his cheekbone. He cried out in pain as
he struggled to pull her hands low against his chest.
Eyes stinging, Mulder looked down into Scully's
unchanged eyes just as she pulled her hands up
quickly, knocking Mulder under his chin.
Mulder's head snapped back and blood filled his
mouth. Involuntarily he released Scully, bringing a
hand to his mouth to wipe away the blood. He
watched, dazed, as Scully turned calmly and went
towards the door. Quickly Mulder took a long step to
catch up with her, grabbing her upper arms in his and
pulling her back against his chest forcefully. Instantly
she began to struggle. Mulder wrapped his arms
securely around her body, pinning her arms down by
her sides.
She struggled for a moment.
"Stop it, Scully." Mulder hissed in her ear as he
struggled to hold her carefully. He couldn't let
himself slip and hurt her, but she was going to hurt
herself the way she threw them around the room. The
table toppled over with a clatter as she swung her
legs out to kick at Mulder. He let out grunts of pain
as her heels hit his knees, his shins, he cringed as her
flailing legs hit the walls and furniture.
Some how she managed to brace her feet securely on
the floor. She pushed with all her strength back into
Mulder. They both fell. Mulder's back landed hard
against oak crib. The loud crunch of wood did
nothing to drown out Mulder's curse as his back
began to tingle and stars flew in front of his eyes.
Scully stood, calmly and determinedly and made her
way in even strides towards the doorway once again.
Mulder watched, unable to move as his spine burned
for a moment. Summoning the last of his strength he
pushed himself from the splintered wood. He caught
up with Scully just as she opened the door. Grabbing
her quickly, and more roughly then he meant to, they
both staggered back into the room.
Scully threw her weight, left and right, back and
forth. Until finally Mulder lost his balance again. As
hard as he tried Mulder tumbled sideways, taking
Scully with him. Both of their sides collided with the
dresser, knocking it and them to the floor with a crash
that could have been heard down the hall.
Scully rolled out from under the clothes, other
belongings and crushed wood trying to stand.
Mulder, willing himself to stand despite the pain
radiating through his body, watched in horror as she
went to stand. But collapsed back into the pile of
rubble. His stomach twisted sickly as she tried again
and again, but could not remain on her feet.
"Scully." He choked out, crawling towards her.
"Scully, come on back to me. Please."
"What the hell is going on?" Skinner bellowed from
the open door as he looked around the room, settling
his gaze on Mulder who knelt next to the doorway.
"She's being called."
Skinner looked to the center of the room where
Scully struggled amongst the debris.
"Help me up. We need to restrain her before she hurts
herself anymore."
Skinner held out a hand and helped Mulder to his
feet. He cringed and held his aching ribs before
looking over to Scully. Both men froze.
Slowly and carefully Scully stood, keeping most of
her weight on one foot, her gun pulled from the pile
on the floor raised.
"Scully." Mulder whispered. "Don't do this."
Her blank eyes stared back at him, a slight sweat
across her face mingling with blood.
The gunshot echoed off the walls of Nova with
deafening volume.
Part 38
Day 234 (continued)
Mulder threw himself to ground as Skinner crumpled
with a cry of pain beside him. He looked up to watch
Scully mechanically turn to the aim the gun at him.
At that moment Mulder forgot it was Scully who was
holding the gun, she was a threat. A threat to his life
and to others. Pushing himself from the ground he
tackled Scully around the legs, pulling her to the
floor beneath him. The gun skittered across the floor,
bouncing off the walls until it was safely on the other
side of the room.
"Oh my God. Walter!" Amanda shrieked as she
pushed her way through the growing crowd in the
hallway. She crouched by his groaning form, his
hand instinctively pressed to his bleeding shoulder.
"What the hell is going on?" She asked looking over
her shoulder at Mulder who was wrestling with
Scully on the ground, trying to pin her hands above
her head.
The Gunmen shoved aside the onlookers and stepped
into the room with shocked expressions.
"Someone, I need some help here." Mulder called
over his shoulder as Scully twisted under him.
Byers quickly made his way across the room, holding
Scully's ankles with a look of bewilderment.
"She's being called again." Mulder muttered under
his breath, moving forward to straddle Scully's body
trying not to put any weight on her as he battled with
her hands.
Amanda pushed Skinner's hands away and pressed
hers the entry and exit wounds. "I have to get him to
the Medical Room."
"We'll help." Langly slapped Frohike's arm to get his
attention as he watched Scully struggle on the floor.
Quickly, but gently, they helped Skinner to stand and
walk out into the hallway, shutting the door firmly
behind them.
"Let's get her on the bed." Mulder said in the
strangely quite room, Scully's mutterings now a faint
whisper. Byers picked Scully's legs up by under her
knees while Mulder hoisted her upper body up.
Stepping through the wreckage of the room the men
quickly deposited Scully on the bed. Wordlessly,
Byers found pieces of fabric to tie her hands with.
Scully kicked and shifted against the bindings
restlessly. Mulder tied her legs down. Still she
fought, bucking up of the mattress and twisting.
Mulder stepped back from the bed, tripping over a
drawer, and placed his face in his hands. His body
ached with fresh bruises, his muscles burned from
holding Scully down, his head pounded and throbbed,
and his heart was broken.
"Are you ok, Mulder?" Byers prodded gently.
With a nod he ran his hands down his face.
Byers looked uncertainly between Scully and Mulder
for a moment. "Now what?"
"Now we wait for the calling to end." Mulder
answered matter of factly. "Can you go see how
Skinner is doing?"
Nodding quickly Byers left Mulder alone.
For a few long minutes Mulder did nothing but stare
at Scully. Her voice had become hoarse and dry
sounding with the nonstop murmuring. Streaks of
blood stood out starkly all over her pale skin. Cuts
and bruised marred her flesh. Her distant eyes
watched him back calmly as the rest of her thrashed
around continuously.
***
"Don't move." Amanda told Skinner, for the third
time, as she carefully looked at his wound.
"Well if you would stop poking me I would stop
moving." He grumbled.
Amanda rolled her eyes as she examined the back of
his shoulder. She knew his attitude was only because
he was in pain. He never could admit when he was
hurt. "Ok, I'm going to put you out so I can stitch this
up. I don't think you are going to have any problems.
All the books," She motioned to the pile on the table
she had just finished looking through, "say this type
of wound will heal just fine. Lay back." She helped
him recline. Amanda smiled softly down at his
worried and pained expression. "Don't worry, Walter.
I'll talk to you soon." With that she placed the towel
with chloroform over his mouth, slowly his eyes
closed and his breathing relaxed.
Day 235
Skinner groaned deeply as he tried to shift on his bed.
"Lay still." Amanda said sitting next to him and
placing a hand on his chest.
He gave a weak nod and relaxed back into the sheets.
"How do you feel?" She asked placing her hand on
his forehead.
"I'm experiencing deja vu."
For the first time in a long time Amanda shared a
laugh with Skinner, it was a soft short lived laugh,
but it was something.
"Thank you, Amanda." Skinner said as she pulled
away the bandages to look at his wound.
She smiled shyly. "'I'm just doing my job Walter,
nothing special."
"I've missed you, Mandy."
She looked away quickly.
Skinner continued, encouraged that she hadn't
brushed him off. "I think you have missed me too.
We are good for each other."
"Walter. I." Amanda shook her head, not sure of
what to say.
He began to sit up, even as Amanda tried to push him
back down, after a moment she ended up helping him
upright to stop his struggle. "Give me one reason we
shouldn't be together Amanda. One good reason and
I'll leave it alone, I'll forget about it and move on."
He watched her in silence for a moment, waiting for a
response. "One reason, just one."
Slowly Amanda shook her head. "I don't have any
reasons."
Skinner smiled at her as he nodded.
***
Mulder's head lolled back in his chair, jerking him
awake. Immediately he looked over at Scully. She
had quieted hours ago, Amanda had come to clean
and dress both of their wounds, the Gunmen had left
him alone for the night, since then he had sat in
silence with his eyes on Scully. Mulder dreaded the
time when he would have to face everyone. People
were talking and questioning, but no one was
answering. The Gunmen had told everyone, at
Mulder's request, that Mulder would explain
everything soon.
He stretched his sore arms over his head with a
groan. Even sitting at a distance Mulder could see the
bruises on Scully's body, a slight trail of blood
flowed from the bindings, various areas were covered
with bandages. But she was quiet and breathing
evenly. Approaching slowly, Mulder sat by her hip,
placing his hand on her belly.
He waited, holding his breath.
Mulder waited until he had to take a breath or pass
out.
Part 39
Day 236
A small noise, only a slight movement really, woke
Mulder. He lifted his head from his arms resting on
the table and looked over at the bed. With a long
breath of relief he saw Scully shifting, attempting to
pull her hands down from the headboard. Quickly he
rose, ignoring his stiff body, and sat on the edge of
the bed.
"Muld-" Scully broke off her hoarse whisper with a
cringe as her body objected to her slight movement.
"Shh. I'll untie you." He said softly, hastily moving
to untie her hands. Scully let out a small whimper as
Mulder lowered her hands, swollen and bruised, to
her lap. Soon her legs where freed.
Slowly Scully managed to focus on Mulder's face
with a gasp. "What happened to you? What happened
to me?"
He gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile
and brushed hair from her forehead. "I'm ok. You
were being called, you've been out for a few days
now."
Scully just starred up at him confused. "I. did that
to you?" Despite herself her chin trembled in horror.
"It's ok." He soothed quickly then gave her an
ashamed and pained look. "I did a lot to you too."
Trying to absorb all this information into her hazy
mind was impossible. She shook her head even
though it hurt to do so. "I don't understand."
Mulder rubbed his face with his hands. He didn't
know where to start. He didn't want to tell her
everything that happened. "How are you feeling?"
Scully brought a hand up to her face, rubbing the heel
into her forehead. "I don't know." She moved to sit
up then grimaced and took a quick breath.
"Take it easy." Mulder placed a hand under the back
of her neck to help support her as she lowered her
body back down. "Do you hurt anywhere?"
"Everywhere." She groaned. With a frown she ran her
hands down her body, rubbing her stomach. Mulder's
hands covered hers gently. After a moment she
sighed and opened her eyes and looked up at him.
"What exactly happened?"
He looked away, trying to find a way out of this
conversation.
"Mulder." She spoke in her warning voice.
"I think you need to rest." He said quickly.
Exhaustion was slowly taking her over. "I want to
know, Mulder."
"I know." He said softly, running a hand gently down
her face. "And I will tell you. But right now I need to
go talk to everyone."
Scully nodded, even though she didn't understand the
reasons for anything at the moment.
Mulder leaned over and kissed her bruised forehead.
"I'll be back in a few minutes."
"Hurry." She whispered, half asleep, as he rose from
the bed.
As Mulder walked down the halls of Nova he tried to
ignore the whispers, the looks, and the pointing.
Without a word he walked into the Main Room and
stood by the fire. People gathered, waiting
expectantly. Without making direct eye contact with
anyone Mulder began to speak. "I know people have
been talking about what happened. I'm asking you to
forget all the rumors. What I'm gong to tell you is the
truth, you'll have to trust my word that everything I
am saying is true."
He paused, collecting his thoughts before telling the
story of Scully's abduction, her cancer, the chip, and
the callings. People listened intently, only responding
with slight murmurs. ".She just woke before I came
to speak with you. I'm sorry I couldn't explain this
all sooner but I didn't want to leave her, she doesn't
remember anything that happened. So I haven't
explained it to her yet, I want her to rest. So I would
appreciate it if everyone would let her do just that. I
know you are all worried and I will tell her so, but I
want her to take this slowly."
Finally, for the first time since he began to speak he
looked up at everyone. "I'm sure you have some
questions about all this."
"Why didn't you tell us before?" Someone called
bitterly.
Before Mulder could answer someone spoke up.
"Before this happened I don't think there was any
reason for them to tell us. That's Dana's business."
"But she has become a danger. She shot someone for
God's sake!"
"She wasn't herself, like Mulder said. She didn't
know what she was doing. You can't blame someone
for their actions when they are not in control."
"That's like saying someone under the influence of a
drug is not responsible for the people they may hurt
or the things they may do."
"This is completely different! People who take drugs
have that choice, this is not a choice."
"What about next time this happens?"
"That's right, what if she is operating on someone?
What will happen to that person?"
"Where will that person be without Dana? Hopeless,
no one else has her education."
"That's right, Nova needs her. And we need Mulder."
In silence Mulder listened to the arguments. He
didn't know what to do. His instinct told him to
defend
Scully and himself, but if he spoke too strongly he
might lose the trust of everyone.
"Please." He interrupted politely, feeling it was the
best time to stop the growing conflict. "We will work
this out in time. Right now I would like everyone to
go on with the rest of the day." He searched the air
for a moment. "I'll speak with you all again soon."
Hanging his head slightly, Mulder walked away,
going straight into the Medical Room.
"Long time no see." Skinner greeted from his bed, his
arm resting against his chest in a sling. "How is she?"
Mulder shook his head nondescriptly. "She doesn't
remember anything. I just wanted to see how you are
doing before I go explain everything that happened."
"I'm perfectly fine. Amanda says I am healing well
and I should be back to my old self against soon.
Please tell her that."
Rubbing his eyes with his fingers he nodded. "I will.
I'll talk to you soon."
"Good luck." Skinner called as Mulder stepped out of
the door.
Part 40
Day 236 (continued)
As Mulder opened the door slowly. Scully let her
head loll in his direction.
"I thought you would be sleeping."
"I did for a little while." She said as Mulder sat
beside her, tucking her blanket under her chin. "Is
everything all right?"
He nodded dully. "I'm tired though."
With a little turn of her head she invited Mulder in
next to her. Immediately he settled close with a sigh.
Biting back a groan as he leaned on his sore body,
Mulder lay on his side next to her, his hand resting on
her belly unconsciously. Scully ran her fingers lightly
over the back of his hand. "Mulder?"
"Hmm?" He hummed against her hair as he began to
drift into sleep.
"I need you to tell me what happened. I don't think I
can sleep soundly until I know."
He let out a long breath into her hair. "Short version
or long?"
"Just tell me everything."
"Everything." He repeated softly. "Ok.. Well, you
woke up and got out of bed. I asked what was wrong
and idiot me, it took a while to realize what was
going on. I tried to keep you in the room, but the
more I restrained you the harder you fought me. I was
so afraid I would hurt you." Mulder's voice began to
break on his words. "But I couldn't stop you. You
were kicking and hitting. Things got out of hand and
furniture was knocked over and broken."
"What did I break?" Scully interrupted, her voice a
mix of concern and disbelief.
Mulder hesitated for a moment. "The dresser a little,
but the crib is ruined."
As if not believing what he said Scully's head
quickly turned to look across the room. The corner
was now empty other then a small pile of linens and
the small mattress once in the crib, now leaning
against the wall. "Oh my God." She whispered in
shame.
Mulder pressed his lips to her temple. "Don't worry,
we'll get another one."
Scully nodded as she struggled to hold back tears.
"What else happened?" She asked after a few
moments of silence.
"Umm.. After the dresser was knocked over things
slowed down a little. We were both hurt pretty bad.
You couldn't even stand for a few minutes." Mulder
shuddered at the memory of her body crumpling to
the ground repeatedly. "Somehow. somehow you
got a hold of one of our guns." Scully twisted around
to turn her face up to him. Her eyes wide with shock.
"Everything from the drawers was on the ground and
spread everywhere. It must have landed right by you.
Skinner had heard all the commotion, people were
gathering around outside when he came in. He helped
me up so we could try to get control of you." Mulder
shook his head slowly as he remembered. His mind
had analyzed that night many times as he watched
Scully sleep the last few days. "You must have felt
threatened that we both were blocking the doorway.
You pointed the gun at as." Mulder trailed off, not
sure if he could get the rest of the words out.
"Mulder. what happened?" Scully whispered.
"Skinner was shot."
Scully let out a petrified shock and tried to sit up,
only to take a sharp breath and cringe to a stop.
"Easy." Mulder said gently helping her recline again.
"He's all right. Amanda took care of him and he will
be fine. I just went to see him."
"Where did I hit him?"
"Shoulder. Went straight through. Must be your
favorite spot to hit someone." His feeble attempt at a
joke died in the air.
Scully shut her eyes with a hand over her mouth. "I
can't believe I did that."
"You didn't." Mulder said sharply, turning her face to
look at his. "That wasn't you Scully. Trust me. I
looked in your eyes and you weren't there."
"That's the point Mulder. When this chip takes
control I have no way to stop anything. What if I hurt
you next time? What if I shoot you?" She paused
with a look of horror. "My God, Mulder, what if I
hurt the baby?" She paused again, running her hands
over her stomach. "I haven't even felt it kick since I
woke." Scully whispered.
Mulder turned her face back to his. "I won't let you
hurt the baby. I swear to you."
"You couldn't stop me from hurting Skinner, and
you couldn't stop me from hurting myself or you. I
don't think anyone can. What will be different next
time?"
"Maybe there won't be a next time." Mulder
murmured hopefully.
"That's right." Scully said firmly. "There won't be
because I am taking the chip out." She forced herself
in a sitting position, ignoring her body's protests of
pain. "Right now."
Part 41
Day 236 (still continued)
Mulder reached out and grabbed Scully's arm. "What
are you talking about?"
Scully looked at him soberly. "I'm taking it out
Mulder, I have to."
"No." He said firmly.
"Yes." She matched his tone when as betraying tears
fell silently down her cheeks.
"Scully you take the chip out and your cancer will
come back." Mulder hissed at her.
Scully's eyes wavered, focusing on the hollow of this
throat to avoid his eyes. The thought of dealing with
her cancer again terrified her. But the things that
could, most likely would happen if she left the chip in
were too horrifying to think about.
"I've thought about it Mulder, while you were gone.
And what you just told me. confirms the fact that I
have to do this. I can't risk what could happen."
His hands came up to frame her face, forcing her eyes
on his. "Scully if you take the chip out-You. Will.
Die."
Nodding in his strong grasp she swallowed thickly.
"I'll live long enough to deliver the baby."
Her soft word sent a surge of nausea through his
body, causing him to double over and break his hold
on her. "No." He said in a soft whisper. "This isn't
happening. You aren't saying this."
"Mulder listen to me." Scully placed her hand on the
back of his neck, causing a shiver to run through him.
How could he live without her touch? It was what
kept him alive during their walk to Nova.
She was his reason for being alive. Without Scully he
would have had no desire to go on. He finally had
her, really had her. As his wife. The thought was still
almost unthinkable. It didn't seem real. But the fact
that she was with him at the moment, in their room,
in their bed, with her carrying his child made him
remember. He refused to be a widower already. He
would die with her. "Mulder, please." She whispered.
"What?" His broken voice answered.
She was almost glad he wouldn't raise his head from
the cradle of his hands to look at her. It would hurt
more then it already did. Taking out the chip seemed
just as terrifying as the moment she found it in there.
She was signing her own death warrant. She didn't
want to die. Not now. Not when she was finally with
Mulder. With child. Her hand rubbed her belly,
praying silently for the movement that she hadn't felt
in hours. "It will be ok." She breathed out, although
she didn't know what exactly would be ok. "Mulder,
I will live for the rest the pregnancy. I can almost
guarantee it."
"Almost." He said with a bitter laugh.
"Mulder, listen. This will work. I will take the chip
out now, and I will be strong enough for at least a
month to carry the baby."
With each word from her mouth a part of Mulder's
heart shut down within him.
"If things start to get bad we can induce labor with
herbs and deliver the baby early. A month early will
be ok. The baby will be ok." She added another silent
prayer for her child with a rub of her stomach. How?
`How could she be doing this to herself?' She found
herself wondering.
She didn't even know. But she was. She was saying,
out loud that it would ok if she would not live to see
this child living inside her these past several months.
To never look at the face of her baby and see whether
it had Mulder's eyes and her mouth. To never tickle
the little feet that have been kicking her tender
womb. To never tell her child how much she loved it,
tell how much a miracle its actual life is, to never be
able to teach or love the child as it grew. To never see
her grandchildren. She choked on a sob at the
thought. Quickly she tried to swallow her fears and
regrets to convince Mulder this was right. This had to
be done.
"You can't do this, Scully." Mulder finally looked up
at her. Emotion was raw on his face. His eyes wide
and red with tears. Fear. That was the message he
sent to her. He was afraid. So was she.
"I have to. Listen to me Mulder. Really listen to what
I am saying." She paused to take a deep breath before
signing her fate. "If the cancer takes the same course
it did last time I will make through the rest of the
pregnancy. I should even be able to nurse the baby as
a newborn." Her voice broke clearly at the thought of
not being able to do such an amazing, yet simple
thing. She always felt, especially while in medical
school, that nursing her child was her responsibility
as a woman. Her God given right.
"What if you can't?" Mulder hissed at her. "What if
you die and can't nurse the baby?" He took her face
back in his hands, locking her eyes on his with a
deathly serious stare. "What if you die and the baby
can't make it because you are here to nourish it?"
Sobs over took her body at the thought. "No." She
said shaking her head firmly. "No, that won't happen.
The baby will be fine without me."
"God damn it!" Mulder yelled pushing himself off the
bed.
The pain his body shot through him at the movement
was easily ignored. The pain in his heart wasn't. It
was unbearable.
Standing at the side of the bed he pointed an
accusatory finger at her. "Don't say that just so that
you can feel right about what you are doing." He
paused, staring at her icily. "Do you even realize
what you are doing? You are killing yourself. You
are." He dropped his knees in front of her, dropping
his head to her lap where she sat on the edge of the
bed. "You're killing me." He whispered through sobs,
his arms coming to wrap around her body. He shook
and trembled in her arms as he raised his head to kiss
her stomach. "I am begging you Scully. Don't do
this. Don't leave me." Resting his chin on her belly
he looked up at her. "Don't do this to our baby."
Violently Scully pushed him off of her. "Don't YOU
do this to me Mulder! I am doing this for you and for
our child." Mulder looked up at her from his
crouched position on the floor shaking his head
slowly.
"You are going to die!" He screamed at her. Getting
up onto his knees he moved close to her, almost face
level. In a soft whisper he spoke words that torn at
his heart. "You will never here the words `I love you
Mommy.'"
Scully gasp a shocked sob as the palm of her hand
slapped Mulder's cheek, hard. "You bastard!" She
slapped him again, Mulder made no move to stop
her-the pain reminding him just for horribly true this
moment was. Only when she balled her hand into a
fist did he reached up and caught it in mid-strike. He
stood, dropping her hand, and walked to the opposite
side of the room and leaned his forehead against the
cool stone.
Rolling onto her side, Scully curled around herself
and cried until she fell asleep, hours later. Mulder
never moved.
Day 237
Her eyes burned before she even opened them.
Pressing the heels of her hands into the sockets she
rubbed for a moment. As she rolled onto her back she
opened her eyes. The room was dark, only the dim
fire lighting the area close to the bed. Scully didn't
even have to look over to know that Mulder was
asleep with his head on the table, she just knew. An
unstoppable sob grew in her throat. But she cast it
aside as she slowly sat up, her body fighting her the
whole time. Standing slowly, and a little unsteadily,
Scully walked silently over to Mulder's side. A small
smile spread across her face. He always looked to
innocent when he slept. Bringing the back on her
hand to her mouth she bit down to conceal the sobs
that came out without her control. After a few deep
breaths to regain herself she whispered softly to
Mulder "I do love you. More then I can even say."
Her hands settled on her tummy. "And I love our
baby with everything I am. I know you do also." She
kissed her first two fingers before running her hand
through his hair. Mulder only stirred slightly, his
sleep brought on by such exhaustion that he did not
respond any more then that. "But I have to do this."
Scully, as silently as possible, left the room.
Part 42
Day 237(continued)
"May
all I do today
begin with you, O Lord.
Plant dreams and hopes
within my soul,
revive my tired spirit:
be with me today.
May
all I do today
continue with your help, O Lord.
Be at my side
and walk with me:
Be my support today.
May
all I do today
reach far and wide, O Lord.
My thoughts, my work, my life:
make them blessings
for your kingdom;
let them go beyond today,
O God." Scully whispered softly in the vacant
Church.
She tried calming her pounding heart with deep
breaths but it hadn't helped. Scully was panicking.
She had to do this. She had to take the chip out before
she hurt someone seriously. She couldn't let that
happen. The thought of harming Mulder again made
her stomach twist. The concept that she could hurt
her child made her almost physically ill, her mind
couldn't even fathom the pain she would go through.
She wouldn't be able to live with herself if either
happened.
But what she was doing? This went against
everything she was taught as a child. Everything
Mulder had said to her back in their room she already
knew. She knew she was killing herself by taking out
the chip. She was risking the health of her child. But
it seemed the only option with hope.
Ever since Scully thought she was pregnant her mind
toyed with the idea that somehow she was healed.
Her pregnancy was a mystery to her. Maybe
something had happened to the altar the chip when
the aliens had colonized. The chip obviously still
worked, it had more effect over her now then ever
before. But for some reason she had been able to
conceive a child. Maybe somehow her cancer was
healed too.
Scully laughed softly at herself. She felt so pathetic.
Sitting in the Church, a scalpel in her hand ready to
cut out the only thing that had been keeping her alive
for years. Yet her mind was still desperately trying to
convince her that she would live.
At the moment her life almost seemed like a fairytale,
at least the closest thing to a fairytale that she would
ever have. She was married to Mulder, something she
never even allowed herself to dream of. And she was
pregnant. That alone made her head spin. Every time
she had thought of Emily over the past few years the
wound in her heart would open. That beautiful child
that she was only allowed to have in her life for such
a short time had effected her more then anything else.
This seemed to be her second chance. A miracle.
Scully ran her hand over her tummy. She hadn't felt
this little miracle move inside her womb in so long.
She continued to tell herself that she had just missed
the movement. When she was asleep the baby must
have shifted, but she was too tired to notice.
Choking on a panicked sob she sent a silent prayer
for her baby.
She was terrified that something had already
happened. That her uncontrollable violence had hurt
her baby. The very chip that was supposably keeping
her alive had killed her child. Or worse, that Mulder's
struggle to keep her safe had done it. How would he
live with himself? Scully knew he couldn't. He
would let his guilt tear him apart until nothing was
left. Scully wouldn't be able to watch that happen.
She would rather take the blame. The guilt of what
she was doing to herself was enough to break her
heart, a little more wouldn't matter.
Part of her still couldn't believe she was doing this.
Killing herself. Might as well be suicide. She was
deathly afraid that is what her God would see it as.
This was something she was taught never to even
think about. Life was too precious to do such a thing.
But she was saving a life by doing this. The life of
her child. Wasn't she?
Scully pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes.
Her mind was racing around itself so fast she could
barely think straight.
Shaking her head to focus, Scully held the scalpel up,
the metal gleaming the candle lit room. Her heart
pounded in her ears at the sight.
She was putting this off. She needed to stop that, she
needed to hurry. Scully knew that Mulder would
wake soon when he sensed she wasn't in the room. It
wouldn't take him very long to find her. And he
would stop her. She knew that. Maybe part of her
wanted him to came barging in here to save her from
herself. But then a vicious cycle would start. She
would just sneak off the next chance she worked up
the courage to take out the chip.
Scully nodded to herself. This needed to be done, and
it needed to be done tonight. Before Mulder woke
and found her, before he would make someone stay
with her at all times to keep her from doing this. She
knew he would do all these things. To save her and to
save his child.
Taking a deep breath, Scully reached a hand around
to find her chip in her neck. It was barely noticeable.
She doubted anyone other then herself and Mulder
would even know it was there through touch. But it
was there, just above the clasps of the two chains she
wore around her neck. Grasping the oldest of the
chains she followed it down the front of her neck,
closing the small cross in her hand. "I'm sorry." She
whispered to God. "I'm so sorry." Tears fell unbidden
down her cheeks at the thought of her mother. How
disappointed she would be. Maybe she would
understand, Scully hoped, being a mother herself.
She couldn't even get the words out as she thought of
Mulder. How would he go on? She knew he would,
for their child. But she knew that he would rather die
along side her when the time came. Part of her
wished he would too. Being without him, even in the
after life, seemed unbearable. "I'm doing this for
you." She whispered to her silent child.
Scully wiped the tear streaks from her cheeks with
her fingers before placing the small tweezers she
would use to pull out the small chip on her thigh.
With a deep breath she brought the scalpel up her
flesh.
Part 43
Day 237 (continued)
The sharp nudge in Scully's womb caused her to
gasp. Another followed as the scalpel slipped and cut
into her neck. The scalpel dropped with the ground
with a clatter as her hands flew to her stomach,
feeling the motions of her child inside and out.
"Oh thank God." She whispered through tears of
relief and joy.
"Scully." She heard Mulder's frantic voice as he
entered the room.
All in the moment reality flooded her mind.
"What's wrong?" Mulder tilted her gaze from the
floor to him. Scully cried a little harder at the look in
his eyes. So full of worry and love.
Wordlessly Scully pulled his hands from her face and
pressed them against her stomach.
The relief that washed over him was visible.
Mulder's eyes closed as Scully pulled his head to her
chest, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and
holding him to her.
Scully could feel Mulder's tears seeping through her
shirt and landing hot on her skin, yet he was silent.
She wove her fingers into his hair and pressed her
lips to his head, letting her tears fall into his hair.
After a moment he smiled up at her, it quickly faded
to pure fear. Scully watched in confusion as he
reached a hand up to her neck. His fingertips
skimmed over her skin, sliding slightly. Pulled his
hand between them Scully saw her blood glistening.
"You-?"
"No." She said quickly. "I didn't- I was going to..
But the baby kicked. I only cut myself."
His eyes closed in relief as he lowered his head down
to nuzzle the space between her breasts and her
swollen belly. "Thank God." He whispered brokenly.
"I'm sorry." She whispered after a few long
moments.
Mulder slowly raised his wet eyes to her, unable to
take his hands from the movement inside her body.
"I'm so sorry." Scully repeated. "I. I don't know
what I was thinking."
"You were just trying to do what you thought would
be the best for our baby." Mulder defended her from
herself.
Scully looked away from him. "It would be better.
But I don't think I can do it."
Mulder raised himself up on his knees more. "Then
don't."
She looked at him with a sad smile. He sounded so
hopeful. "I don't know if I can live like this." Her
voice was a distant whisper. At his confused shake of
his head she went on. "Never trusting myself. I don't
know when I won't have control. What if one time I
have a calling and you aren't there to stop me?"
Scully didn't wait for him to answer, she was only
thinking out loud. Mulder had no answers for her
questions, she didn't expect him too. "What would
happen if next time I go into labor?" Her eyes closed
at the horrible thought of such a thing happening.
"Hey." Mulder said softly to get her attention. Sliding
one hand from her waist he cupped her jaw lightly.
"You could ask what ifs until you are blue in the face,
we both could. But that isn't going to help or answer
any questions or make us feel any better about the
callings." He broke their gaze for a moment to look
off in thought. "I think- I know what would be best
for you, and me and most importantly our child, is if
you leave that chip in as long as you can." He
returned his eyes to hers steadily. "But if the callings
get worse, if they happened more often," his voice
broke at just the thought of what he was saying,
"Then the only thing to do would be to take out the
chip."
Scully nodded quickly then was distracted by a
particularly hard kick and laughed softly as she
guided his hand to the area under attack.
Mulder rubbed his palm over the spot for a moment
before looking up at her. "Let's go back to bed.
We've both had a few long days."
Nodding in agreement she touched his cheek to bring
his mouth up to hers for a languid kiss. Pulling away
she rested his forehead against his. "Can you wait for
me outside. I need to do something."
He nodded before pressed his lips to hers again. Then
down onto the top of her stomach. As he stood
Mulder ran his hand down her arm, not wanting to
break contact with her just yet.
Scully waited until she heard the door click shut
gently before she began to cry silently again. It felt
wonderful to be crying for hope and joy, instead of
guilt and fear. But she was still afraid, very afraid.
Her mind, no matter how hard she tried, still raced
with questions and worries. Part of which she knew
was a normal part of pregnancy. But she was so
afraid of herself, which was such unusual feeling.
Never before did she have to fear herself. Never
before was she unable to control her own mind.
She shook her head forcefully. "Enough of that." She
told herself out loud. Worrying will only make you
age faster, as her grandmother always said. And
Scully planned on living a long time.
In the silence of the Church at this hour was easy to
focus her mind on reality. On being logical.
Scully ran a hand down her belly. "Let's go see
Daddy, baby." She whispered as she stood and
walked down the short aisle to the door.
Mulder was leaning against the wall, he pushed
himself to standing as Scully walked out. "Ready?"
Tucking her hair behind her ears Scully leaned into
his side. "Yes."
With his hand on the small of Scully's back he
walked her to their room.
Part 44
Day 238
"He's not mad at you." Mulder breathed in Scully's
ear as he leaned over, bracing a hand on either side of
the doorframe, trapping Scully between the door to
the Medical Room and himself.
Scully hung her head slightly, leaning back against
Mulder's chest. "But I'm mad at me."
His released breath stirred Scully's hair. "I know.
And I know there is nothing I can say to make you
feel better. I've tried." Mulder laughed softly, trying
to keep the lingering stress of the situation at bay.
"But I think you will feel better after you talk with
him."
Rubbing her hands over her arms, Scully nodded.
"You're probably right."
"Are you cold?"
"A little." She said with a shrug.
Without another word Mulder unbuttoned his shirt
and pulled it off, revealing another long sleeved shirt
underneath.
"Now you'll be cold." Scully argued weakly as he
turned her around to face him and gestured for her to
put the shirt on.
Mulder pulled her arm through the sleeve as if he was
dressing a toddler. "I'll be fine."
Scully just raised her eyebrows letting him finish
buttoning the shirt. Just to procrastinate from talking
to Skinner. "Look at this." Scully said with a frown as
she poked at the way the shirt tented over her belly.
With a soft laugh Mulder leaned over and kissed
Scully's cheek before reaching behind her to open the
Medical Room door, forcing her in. Scully turned to
see Amanda sitting on the edge of Skinner's bed,
talking softly to him. They both looked over as
Mulder clicked the door shut behind her.
"Hi." She said weakly.
"Dana." Amanda said in surprise, raising from the
bed to walk over and hug her gently. "How are you
feeling?" She asked as she pulled away, trying to
look discreetly at Scully's bruises.
Scully turned her head away slightly, ashamed. "I'm
better, thank you."
"It's good to see you on your feet again, Scully."
Skinner said with an honest smile.
"I've got some things to do." Amanda said quickly.
"I'll see you both later." With a smile towards
Skinner she left the room.
Scully turned tensely towards Skinner.
"Come sit down." He said, gesturing a hand to the
chair beside his bed.
She did as asked. Immediately bursting into tears.
"I'm so sorry." She whispered around a hand over her
mouth.
"It's ok." Skinner said gently. Hesitantly he placed a
hand on her arm, squeezing. "Amanda fixed me right
up. Don't worry about it." He said lamely.
"Don't worry about it?! I could have killed you."
Scully couldn't bare to look at him so she plucked at
the buttons of Mulder's shirt.
"But you didn't" He ran his hand down her arm and
pulled her fidgeting fingers into his. Moments passed
where neither said a word until Skinner broke the
thick silence. "I believe everything happens for a
reason. Don't you?"
After a moment's thought Scully nodded. The more
she thought about it, and the more that happened in
her life, it only seemed logical. Life was too
complicated, too many choices and options for one
thing not to lead to another, for them all not to be
connected in a certain way. Fate maybe.
"Well I was shot and that lead to Amanda and I.
Amanda and I being together again. It set that right."
Scully looked up at him uncertainly. After a moment
she looked down to their embraced hands. "It doesn't
make me feel any better."
Skinner chuckled. "Honestly I'm not surprised. If I
was in your situation I. I actually have no idea what
I would be thinking."
For some reason that made Scully feel better.
Looking up she held his eyes for the first time with a
smile.
Somehow people were able to sense that Mulder was
there to talk. Without uttering one word he stood in
the Main Room and people joined him. Gathering
around they all spoke at once in a soft concerned
tones.
"Is Dana all right?" "We haven't seen her in days, is
everything ok?"
Mulder smiled appreciatively at them. It still amazed
him that this many people, all strangers only a few
months ago, cared so much. These simple charms
that adorned each and every neck in this complex
system of catacombs immediately made a person an
ally. Every week new people would arrive, weak, thin
and freezing from their journey. They would be
brought into the warm walls of Nova, given a room,
small and drab but compared to the snowy ailments
they come from very inviting. Supplied with more
food then they had seen in months. With fresh milk,
and meat when available. The comforts of a constant
fire, a soft bed, and new clothes. And most
importantly instant friends. Of course the initial
judgements were passed, it was basic human nature.
This person came from a pampered life, that person
isn't a Christian, that person isn't Jewish, this one has
such a large family-they will expect more then their
fair share. But words were always kind, rumors
where rumors. And they never lasted long. Walking
the halls late in the evening Mulder would catch bits
and pieces of conversations with the newcomers. All
of which were intellectual and friendly.
Mulder had never experienced something like this.
People consistently being good natured. He had to
wonder if it was the surroundings or the situation.
But it didn't really matter, as long as it stayed like
this. He believed that as long as people were arriving
and there was work to be done and good people to do
it, nothing would change.
"She is going to be ok." Mulder said with an
involuntary smile.
Relieved murmurs and bright smiles were his replies.
Mulder cleared his throat after a moment. "I'm sure
you are all wondering where we stand on the chip
subject, so I will tell you. Scully is leaving it in."
Ignoring the mumbling Mulder continued. "After a
long discussion Scully and I both feel it is for the best
at the moment. There is too much at stake if she was
to remove the chip at this time. Besides, she was able
to warn Nova once about an attack, I think this is a
precious gift that we need to hang on to as long as
everything stays under control." Mulder paused and
looked out at everyone. "I'm very sorry if anyone has
a problem with how we are dealing with this. I ask
you to put yourself in our position. As far as we
know this is the only thing keeping Scully alive at the
moment. The only thing enabling her to keep this
baby alive." Immediately the scattered grim faces
softened. "It may be our only hope for knowing what
the aliens are planning. In my opinion I don't think
there is much room for debate." Mulder's hopes were
too weak, too unsteady, to stand and wait for
someone to argue them. Quickly he nodded to the
crown, bowed his head slightly and walked away
leaving the rumors to begin as he knew they would.
Day 240
Mulder glanced over at Scully from his seat at the
table. She lay, like she had for the past hour, staring
into the fire. Rising slowly, Mulder walked over and
sat by her, rubbing his hand up and down the side of
her thigh.
Scully looked away from to fire to his eyes with a
soft smile.
"What you thinking about?"
She blushed a little and ran a hand over her stomach.
With a knowing smile Mulder moved to lay down
behind her, covering her roaming hand with his own.
Scully rolled over with a grin. "So are you ready?"
He gave her a confused look.
"To deliver the baby?"
With a groan he lowered his head to bury it between
her breasts. "Why do you like teasing me with this?
You do realize I'm scared to death, don't you?"
She kissed the top of his head. "I'm sharing my fear."
Mulder quickly looked up at her. "If you would
rather-"
"No." She said quickly. "I'm just scared of the actual
labor process, pain has never been my strong suit."
She touched his cheek tenderly. "But having you
there will make it much better."
"I would be there even if I wasn't going to deliver the
baby, Scully, you know that."
She nodded and ruffled his hair playfully. "I know.
But for some reason having you being the only other
person with me helps."
Mulder pulled back slightly. "You don't want anyone
else in the room? What if I need help? Scully.." He
said uneasily.
"It will be ok." She said gently with a shrug. "I just
don't want anyone else there. Don't ask me to
explain it because I can't." She laughed softly at
herself. "I'll blame it on hormones."
Frowning, Mulder set his head on the pillow next to
Scully, staring at her uncertainly.
She pouted slightly. "Please, just trust me on this. It
feels right."
"I don't understand you one bit." He said in a tone
that made Scully know he had agreed with her.
With a brilliant smile she leaned forward and kissed
his nose.
"You know I can't say no you to." He grumbled with
a smile.
Scully hummed happily and settled herself close to
Mulder, with her head under his chin. "Good night,
Mulder." She said sweetly. The moment the words
were out of her mouth a loud knock sounded at the
door.
"Ignore it." She quickly told Mulder, wrapping an
arm around his waist and borrowing her face in his
neck.
"You know I can't do that." He groaned shifting his
way out of bed. Mulder swung the door open the be
greeted by Langly, Frohike, and Byers all grinning
madly. "What the-?"
"Coming through." Langly announced at they pushed
their way into the room.
Scully sat up on the bed with a look of shock. "Where
in the world did you get that?" She asked as they
lugged a freshly painted wooden crib into the far
corner.
"We made it." Byers proclaimed.
Mulder's jaw dropped open. "You're kidding?"
"Oh my God. Thank you." Scully said hugging
each man in turn, trying to hold back the grateful
tears.
"Consider it our baby present to the both of you."
Langly said patting the railing proudly.
"How did you build that so fast?" Mulder asked
suspiciously.
Frohike frowned at his disbelieving tone. "We work
well together."
Byers tactfully grabbed the other men by their elbows
and dragged them to the door. "We can tell you two
were just getting off to bed. We just wanted to bring
it over as soon as we finished it."
"Bye!" Mulder and Scully heard called as the door
was shut.
For a moment they just stood, staring that the new
piece of furniture.
Scully walked up and ran her hand over the semi
rough wood. "I hate to ask. but is it safe?" She
laughed softly.
Mulder bit his lip and shrugged. Leaning down he
picked up the small mattress and placed it in the crib.
"It's a tight fit." He muttered trying to press the
mattress down. Scully walked up next to him and
helped push.
There was a slight crack, then a clatter as the far side
of the crib near the wall fell off and landed on the
ground.
Scully slapped a hand over her mouth trying to hold
in the laughter.
"Whoops." Mulder said as he took Scully by the
shoulders and lead her back to bed. "I think that is a
bad omen." Laughing he tucked the blankets around
Scully. "We'll fix it in the morning." Turning off the
lamps he crawled back in bed next to a still giggling
Scully.
"We won't tell them that happened. The poor guy's
hearts will be broken." With one last laugh she rested
her head on Mulder's shoulder. "That was sweet of
them though."
Nodding in agreement Mulder turned his head and
kissed her forehead with a fond smile. "Night,
Scully."
Part 45
Day 243
"Scully.. What are you doing?"
She stood back from the dresser, hands on her hips,
with a frown. "I don't like how this is set up."
Mulder rolled his eyes as he read on the bed. "You've
reorganized that drawer three times tonight."
"I know." She mumbled, glaring at the drawer in
question.
Tossing his book to the side, Mulder crawled on all
fours to the end of the bed. He reached out and
grabbed Scully's hand, tugging her towards the bed.
"Come on. It's getting late."
She gently slipped her hand from his, really not
listening to what he was saying. "I just want to fix
this."
With an over exaggerated groan Mulder threw
himself back onto the bed. "You're impossible."
Scully looked over her shoulder for a split moment.
"Huh?"
"Scully." He said loudly with a smile. "Come to bed.
Please."
"Sorry." She said sheepishly. "It was just. bothering
me for some reason." Scully muttered as she pulled
the blankets up from the foot of the bed and laid
back.
Mulder laughed under his breath as he settled in next
to her, his hand rubbing her round belly. "I think you
are nesting."
Scully glared at him. "I loathed that term."
"Why?" Mulder asked with a disbelieving laugh.
"I don't need to feather my nest." She muttered with
distaste. "I'm just. straightening. and
organizing."
"Scully." She looked up at him. "Quit while you are
ahead."
"Shut up, Mulder." Scully muttered.
His response was a yawn.
Scully smiled as wiggled into the sheets. "About time
you started listening to me."
"I worked hard today." Mulder defended himself
halfheartedly as he nuzzled his face into the crook of
Scully's neck.
She ran her hand over the arm that was slung lazily
over her body with a frown. "I don't like the idea of
you working outside in the snow all day, Mulder.
You're going to come down with something."
"We've got to finish the new barns for next year so
we can work on the fields as soon as the weather
changes. Otherwise we will be trying to do too many
things at once and we won't have the crops we
should be able to or homes for the animals that are
born in spring." Mulder rationalized in a monotone
voice, this wasn't the first time he had to tell Scully
the reason for doing what he was.
"Isn't there something you can do inside?"
Mulder pulled his face away from her body, hoisting
himself up with an arm on either side of her head.
"Everyone who can't work outside is working
inside." He kissed her quickly, then moved down and
settled his head on her breasts and his hand on her
stomach. "Enough talk. More sleep."
Scully sifted her head through his hair, watching the
firelight bounce off. "Why don't you just say `shut
up, Scully?'"
"Shut up, Scully."
She slapped his head lightly.
"Hey." He muttered. "You told me to."
Scully ran her nails lightly over the back of his neck,
causing him to shiver. "Well since you seem to be
doing what I tell you to tonight, tell your child to stop
kicking me so I can sleep."
Mulder's hand roamed her belly until he found the
motions. "Stop kicking your Mom, baby, she needs
her rest." His voice was just a whisper, barely audible
to Scully.
"Thank you." Scully whispered with a smile, laying
her hand against his cheek. "Good night."
"Night, Scully." His next words were so soft, Scully
wasn't sure if she actually heard them or if it was her
imagination. "Good night, little one. Hope to see you
soon."
Day 245
Skinner leaned back in his chair, resting his good arm
over his bad. "You're full of shit." He accused
Amanda with a grin.
"I am not." She said through a laugh.
"Then why are you laughing?"
Amanda chose to ignore that question. "I'm serious. I
saw it with my own eyes."
Skinner rubbed the back of his neck looking at her
suspiciously. "Langly. building a chair..." He
repeated is amazement.
"Not just one chair, the last of four."
He shook his head slowly. "I was wondering what
those guys would do without their computers."
Laughing, Amanda shifted in her chair, watching
Skinner intently. After a moment she broke eye
contact, fiddling with an imaginary piece of lint of
her pant leg. "I've missed this. Just talking, just being
here. with you."
Skinner nodded. "Yeah, I did too."
"I'm sorry." Amanda said quickly with a sudden
burst of bravery. "I pushed you away when I really
wanted you with me. I was alone, I was scared-"
"Stop." Skinner interrupted softly as he slid his chair
closer to her. "I understand why you did what you
did. Hey." He reached his hand out to tilt her face up
to his. "Look at me. I understand. I wish you hadn't.
We both need each other, Mandy. And we are
together now. So let's not dwell on the past. You are
sorry and I accept that. I am sorry for the way I tried
to push you into talking with me. I should have let
you be. But I was scared." His voice dropped low. "I
didn't-I don't want to lose what we have. I've never
had anything like this and I have a feeling its just
going to get better from here."
He was interrupted by the Medical Room door
opening and Mulder walking in. He immediately
looked embarrassed for walking in on their obviously
private conversation. "Scully's not here." He noted.
Amanda shook her head with a friendly smile. "She
kept yawning so we forced her to go lay down for a
little while."
Mulder smiled appreciatively. "I can always use a
few more people on my side." He trailed off,
looking back and forth between the two. "I'll leave
you guys alone, thanks." Shutting the door Mulder
muttered an "Whoops" under his breath as he started
down the hallway towards his room.
"Hey, Mulder!"
He turned at the sound of his name, looking for who
it came from. Seeing Bobby walking towards him he
met him half way. "Hey, Bobby."
"Do you have a minute." The older man asked.
Mulder nodded and gestured for him to walk over to
the side of the hallway. "What's on your mind?"
Bobby let out a long breath, looking down the
hallway to see if anyone was listening. "I saw a few
ships today."
"That's not unusual." Mulder said with a nod. "I see
at least one or two fly overhead every day."
"I know. but this was different."
Mulder involuntarily leaned forward, waiting the rest
of the story. "Go on." He said after a moment of
tensing silence.
"They were moving very slow." Bobby said
uncomfortably. "They usually move fairly fast. But it
was like they lingered over Nova. They flew in like
usual, then. hesitated for a few minutes before
moving on."
Mulder rubbed his jaw. "I see."
"Listen." Bobby said quickly. "I know it might be
nothing, but it just didn't sit right with me."
After another moment of silence Mulder slapped
Bobby's shoulder lightly. "Thanks for telling me. Let
me know if anything else odd happens."
"I will." The older man said with a nod. "I'll see you
around."
". Yeah." Mulder said distracted. A minute or two
later he shook himself from his thoughts and made
his way down the rest of the hallway, opening the
door to his room slowly, in case Scully was sleeping.
He saw her, curled slightly on her side, with a
peaceful expression. Moving silently he sat at her
hip, pushing hair from her face.
Scully woke slightly from her light sleep. "Hi." She
whispered.
"Hey. How are you feeling?"
She smiled. "Good. I'm just resting for a bit."
Mulder nodded, relieved.
Rolling onto her back slightly she looked up at him.
"Is everything ok?"
Trying to give a convincing smile he rubbed her
belly. "Of course it is."
Day 248
"Don't start that again." Mulder called from his
reclined position on the bed as he watched Scully
walk up to the dresser and open the top drawer.
She looked up with a sheepish laugh. "I won't."
"You're awfully antsy tonight.. You ok?"
"Yeah." She said quickly. "I think I am just starting
to go stir crazy."
Mulder nodded in understanding. The past two days
it had snowed heavily, trapping everyone inside
unless they wanted to start shivering after a few
moments in the cold.
Scully stretched her arms over her head with a groan.
"You ok?"
"You already asked that and I said yes, I'm am."
Scully smiled over at him, finding his over
protectiveness amusing at the moment.
Mulder frowned. "Sorry."
"It's ok." She said lightly, fiddling with the stacks of
dishes on the cabinet. "Oh!" She said in surprise,
pressing a hand to her stomach as she let out a long
breath.
"Scully?" Mulder was on his feet and to her side in a
moment.
She waved him off as he tried to help her sit. Her
eyes were closed tightly as she let out long slow
breaths.
"Scully, what's wrong?" He asked once she opened
her eyes and stood up right again.
"I. I think I just had a contraction."
Mulder took a surprised step back. "But-"
"False labor." She said quickly. "It happens towards
the end of pregnancy. and we really don't know
how far along I am so it makes sense."
"Will you please lay down?" He gently took her
elbow and guided her towards the bed.
She sat stiffly on the edge. "I don't want to lay down.
I'll sit though." She looked up at his troubled face.
"It's ok, Mulder." Scully smiled up at him, taking his
hand gently in hers. "Don't worry. I feel perfectly
ok."
He nodded before letting his hand slip from hers and
began to pace the room.
Scully rolled her eyes thinking that the only thing
Mulder needed was a cigar and he would look like
the typical father in the waiting room. If it was labor
that is. "Oh God!" Scully said in disbelief.
"What?" Mulder asked quickly turning around to
look at her.
She stared up at him with wide eyes. "My water just
broke."
Part 46
Day 248 (continued)
Mulder blinked at her for a moment. "Are you sure?"
Scully gave a short nervous laugh. "Yes. Mulder, I'm
sure." She gestured to her now wet pants.
The moment the panic set in was visible on Mulder's
face. "Lay down." He ordered, walking over and
moving her feet up on the bed. His mind quickly
going through the many pages of labor instruction he
had read.
"Mulder, relax." She said, trying to do just that
herself. "I've had one contraction-"
"The labor process speeds up the moment water
breaks." He recited, as he gently pulled off her pants.
Keeping his voice calm and even was by far one of
the hardest things he had ever had to do. Scully was
in labor. Actual labor. His mind was still struggling
to catch up with its surroundings.
Scully took a deep breath, trying to ease the
nervousness in her stomach as she shifted to rest
herself comfortably on the bed. She watched for a
moment as Mulder moved to get her a clean pair of
pants. "What you doing?"
He glanced over his shoulder quickly. "You just need
to put them on for a minute while I get you to the
Medical Room." For months he had the plan of how
this event would go worked out in his head. Part of
him believed that if it went how he had pictured,
nothing could possible go wrong.
"We can't go there." Scully said quickly. "Skinner is
still there."
Mulder paused as he kneeled down to help her into
the pants. "He can go back to him room, Amanda can
take care of him in there."
"No." Mulder looked up at her, shocked to see she
looked like a frightened animal. "I want to stay here."
Scully crossed her arms protectively over her belly.
The thought of walking into that room, anywhere,
and meeting up with someone made her heart pound
even harder in her chest. Not many people had seen
Scully when she was scared, truly scared. Mulder
was the only person out of those few that was still
alive that she knew of. Scully had no plans to add to
that list.
"Scully-"
"No. I want to stay in the room, Mulder. I don't want
to leave. I'm staying."
He didn't know how to respond to her defensive and
determined tone. "Ok." Mulder said slowly, looking
around the room. Cautiously he brought his gaze
back to her. "Are you sure I can't take you to the
Medical Room?" Mulder immediately held up his
hand to ward off her protests after the angry look she
shot him. "I have to go get a few things then."
Suddenly his plans were turned upside down, but he
was determined to shift through the rubble and get
through this.
Nervously Scully ran her hands over her belly. "Ok."
Her throat went painfully dry at the thought of
spending even a minute alone.
Mulder moved to her upper body and began to pull
off her shirt. "Let's get you a little more comfortable,
ok?"
She nodded and raised her arms she he pulled the
first layer of her shirts over her head. She lowered her
arms with a sharp gasp, immediately turning it into
deep practiced breaths. It shocked her how quickly
her instinct took over and made her breathe evenly,
even though she wanted to double over in pain. But
just after the first cleansing breath her body relaxed
some, the pain leaving with the air.
Gently, as to not distract Scully too much, Mulder
pushed her hair away from her face as it started to
stick to the thin sheen of sweat. "That's it." He said
gently as she breathed through her second
contraction.
Scully let out one last long breath. "These are coming
fast." She said weakly. Suddenly she wished the
wives tale of a woman's first labor taking hours upon
hours was true. Scully didn't feel ready for this. Her
body: yes, her mind: no.
Mulder just nodded as he pulled off the rest of her
clothing quickly. "Here, lets put this on." He pulled a
large short sleeved shirt over her head. "Are you
warm enough?"
Scully nodded quickly.
Giving her a reassuring smile, Mulder picked up her
hands and kissed them lightly. "I'm going to go, I'll
be right back. Ok?" A little part of him wished she
would say no, that he couldn't leave her. Even for a
minute. Because he didn't want to. Mulder wanted to
climb into bed with her, wrap his arms around her
body and take away some of her pain.
She nodded and tugged his hands close to her.
Mulder met her half way and gave her a gentle kiss.
"Hurry, please." Scully whispered.
Mulder quickly stood. "Trust me, I will." Without
another look, for fear he wouldn't be able to tear
himself away from her, he left the room. It was all he
could do not to run down the hallway, but there was
nothing he could do to stop his jog. Throwing open
the door to Medical Room he stumbled upon Skinner
and Amanda talking quietly.
"You ok, Mulder?" Skinner asked as he looked
Mulder up and down. His face was flushed, from his
run to the room and an intense mixture of
nervousness and excitement.
"Scully's in labor." He said in a breath.
Amanda jumped up from the bed. "Do you need
help?" The truth was she had no idea what to do, she
had barely read anything about childbirth. But she
was willing to try.
Mulder was busy gathering together the items he had
organized for this moment last month. "No, thanks."
"Wait a second." Skinner said, sitting upright more
on the bed. "Who's delivering the baby then?" He
had been so wrapped up in his life with Amanda, or
lack there of, for the past few months he missed
details like this.
Straightening up, bounty in hand, Mulder smiled
nervously. "You're looking at him."
Amanda let out a surprised laugh. She figured she
would have better luck then Mulder. Then again, the
man never ceased to amaze her.
"Listen." Mulder said lightly making his way towards
the door. "I would love to stand here and talk about
how unqualified and scared to death I am about doing
this. And how much I wish I could hand this
responsibility over to someone else so I can start
pacing and wait for the baby to be born. But the
pregnant lady said I'm doing it, so I'm doing it."
"If you need any help come and get me." Amanda
said as she opened the door for Mulder so he
wouldn't have to jungle his armload.
Mulder nodded gratefully. "I will, Thanks." Though
he prayed he would have no need to.
"Good luck." Skinner called as Mulder hurried down
the hallway, stopping only to add a bucket of water to
his already heavy load.
Somehow he managed to open the door to his room
without dropping anything. "Everything alright?" He
asked Scully the moment he stepped inside.
Scully nodded, looking worried. The few minutes she
was alone ticked by like years.
Depositing his items on the table he sat beside her
with a damp cloth in his hands. "Lean back a little."
Mulder whispered, placing the cloth over her
forehead as she did. "Did you have another
contraction while I was gone?"
"No." She said softly. Her heart pounded in her ears
so loudly she could barely hear herself speak. Before
she went into labor and thought about the whole
process she was frightened. She knew it would be
painful, hopefully not too long, and probably the
most emotional experience of her life. The moment
she went to into labor she could think of nothing else
other then the fact that after some very severe pain
she was going to be responsible for a new life. The
care, the nurturing, the education, the love, the list
went on and on.
Mulder smiled brightly at her, stroking her flushed
cheek the back on his fingers. "Relax."
"This is coming from the man who began to fidget
nervously every time you thought of this moment.
What's with the sudden air of nonchalant?"
He shook his head clueless. "Adrenaline maybe. Or
the fact that it is actually happening so I better just
deal with it."
Scully opened her mouth to say something but
quickly closed it as a strong contraction went through
her body. Shutting her eyes tightly she squeezed
Mulder's hand to the point of pain.
But he did not utter a word as she breathed through
her own, more pressing pain. He watched as the
tension melted from her body in one last breath.
"Ok?"
She nodded, a tear slipping from the corner of her
closed eye.
Mulder leaned forward to kiss it away. "You are
doing great." She nodded, finally opening her eyes.
"You can do this." He said softly. "We both can."
"Yes, we can." She agreed with a smile. They had no
choice, it came down to that.
"Ok." Mulder said looking around. "Let's get you set
up, this is happening a little faster then either of
anticipated and I won't want to be rushed later on."
"Where do you want me?" Scully asked, letting him
take control of the situation, her mind wasn't nearly
as together at his seemed to be.
"Slide closer to the foot of the bed, so that I can kneel
at the bottom. Here, I'll help you." Gently he helped
her wiggle down a few feet, pilling pillows up for her
to lean back on. "Do you want to sit up?"
Scully was quiet for a moment. She hadn't thought
about these slight details beforehand, which surprised
her. She had felt fairly prepared, now she was
flustered and nervous. "I think so."
Mulder nodded and set more pillows up for her.
"Lean back and tell me if that is ok."
"Perfect." She said softly.
With a nod he slowly moved down to her feet, trying
not breaking physical contact with her if not
necessary. Mulder moved everything to the foot of
the bed, so that he wouldn't have to move far away
from Scully and the baby. "How do you want your
legs?"
"I don't know." Scully said suddenly feeling tired.
Mulder had everything under control, she saw that
and her body responded how it wanted it, with
lethargy. Maybe it was human nature, suddenly
slowing down to store energy for the actual birth, or
maybe her adrenaline wore off.
Mulder ran his hands up and down her calves after he
bent them so her feet were flat on the mattress. "This
ok?"
She nodded dully.
With one last look around, Mulder felt everything
was ready, he just had to wait on the baby now. He
was becoming anxious, while Scully was the
complete opposite. He moved from the foot of the
bed and sat slightly behind Scully, running his hands
over her shoulders and arms. "Comfortable?"
"I think as much as I can be, yes." Scully leaned her
head back onto his shoulder. "I'm feeling tired."
Mulder kissed her temple lightly. "Go ahead and rest.
Just let me know when you feel like you want to push
as the contractions get closer."
"I know." She said with a smile. "I am the doctor
after all."
"Not tonight you aren't. Dr. Mulder is here to take
care of you." He said with a snicker.
Scully made a small whimpering noise as another
contraction started. Mulder quickly moved to take her
hand, letting her breath through it. Instinctively he
wanted to help her breath, to coach her through it.
But they had decided beforehand that he wouldn't do
that. Not when he would have to be focusing on the
baby.
"They are getting stronger." She said breathlessly
after a few moments rest.
"That's good." Mulder hugged her gently from
behind. "Fast labor means less pain I would assume."
Scully nodded enthusiastically. "Less pain in a very
good thing." She sucked in another quick breath.
"Another one?" Mulder asked in shock.
She nodded as she released a long breath.
Reluctantly Mulder slid away from her and down to
the foot of the bed, making a quick stop to retrieve
one of the pans of hot water he had on the stove.
Washing his hands quickly but thoroughly he gently
lifted the sheet tenting Scully's lower body, just as
she relaxed back into the pillows.
"I'm not ready to push yet." She informed Mulder in
a slightly panicked tone.
"Ok." He said gently. "Don't try to rush anything,
Sweetheart." Mulder expected to feel a little odd
examining Scully in the way he was, but he didn't. It
felt completely natural for him to be checking the
progress of the birth of his child. "Everything looks
text book so far." He said in relief, covering her
again.
With a tired hand Scully wiped sweat from her brow.
"Here, let me get that." Mulder said moving to
dampen the cloth. Placing it gently on her forehead
he tucked her damp hair behind her ears. "You're
doing great." He whispered honestly in her ear. The
pain was obvious, but Scully had kept her usual brave
face.
"This is happening too fast." She whispered.
"That's good." Mulder reassured, tenderly rubbing
her belly. "I'm going to miss this." He said with a
soft laugh. He loved her pregnant body. So full and
healthy. She was so alive. His thoughts were
interrupted by another contraction hitting Scully. He
waited it out with her. Wiping away the damp
streams on her cheeks and kissing her face lightly. "I
think it's time you start to push. Maybe another
contraction or two, but these are coming fast and
strong."
"Oh God." Scully whispered, panic settling deep in
her chest.
Mulder moved down the bed once again. "It's going
to be ok, Scully. Do you think you are ready to
push?"
With a clenched jaw she nodded, feeling another
contraction coming around the corner.
"This one?"
Scully quickly shook her head. She wasn't ready. She
needed another moment to collect her mind. This was
actually happening. She was about to give birth to her
child.
Mulder squeezed her knee as she breathed through
the pain with one hand, and lifted away the sheet with
the other. "The baby is crowning." He said with a
twist of nervousness in his stomach.
Scully nodded. "I'm ready."
"All right." An intense wave of adrenaline passed
over Mulder. With a long released breath from
Scully, Mulder watched as her face twisted with
concentration and pain. "You're going great, Scully."
He said softly as he guided the baby's head out her
body. "Keep pushing, Sweetheart."
She stopped as the contraction ended, panting and
struggling to wipe the sweat from her eyes with a
tired hand. "Are the shoulders out?" Scully asked
breathlessly.
"Just about."
"Everything ok?" Scully barely got the words out
before she had to push again.
"Perfect, Scully. Just keep pushing." He answered,
half his attention on her and half on the new life he
held partly in his hands.
Scully collapsed back into the pillows. "Mulder."
Said softly, not in question, just as a statement.
Mulder pressed his lips to the inside of Scully's knee.
"You're going great. One more push, ok?"
Her nod quickly segued into her last push.
In a moment the silent room filled with the cries of
their baby. With a sob, of relief and joy, Scully fell
back against the pillows. "Mulder?" Her exhausted
voice called.
"She's beautiful, Scully." He said is awe as he
quickly cut the umbilical cord and cleaned the crying
baby slightly. Never before had Mulder held
something so precious, so amazing in his hands. He
was looking at a true miracle.
"She?" Scully said, forcing her limbs to cooperate
enough to sit up.
Cradling the wet baby against his chest, Mulder made
his way over to Scully. At the moment he finally
understood why Scully wanted him to deliver their
baby. Knowing that he was the first person to touch
their child, and that Scully would be the second. it
just seemed right. It was how nature intended.
Mulder eased the child, still wet from birth, onto
Scully's chest. "She is beautiful." Scully whispered
as the baby quieted slightly due to Scully's
comforting stroking. She ran her hands over her
whole, small body. Counting fingers and toes, tracing
her plump cheeks, tiny hands, and rosebud mouth.
Mulder watched Scully hold the baby for a moment,
his arms wrapped around her and his forehead against
the side of her head. "I need to clean her up so she
doesn't get cold." He said after a few more moments.
"Ok." Scully said softly, reluctantly letting Mulder
lift the child from her arms. She turned onto her side
to watch him carefully carry the baby to the table to
set her down a pile of blankets, gently washing her
tender skin. Once cleaned he dressed her quickly in a
cloth diaper and a simple cotton one piece to ward off
chills.
"Mulder, I want to hold her." Scully called as he
moved to set her in the crib.
"So do I." He said with a smile as he made his way
back over to the bed. "But I need to clean you up
too."
As he gently washed her, Scully looked longingly
over to the other side of the room.
"Arms up." Mulder said, breaking her out of her daze.
He quickly pulled a clean shirt over her head and
helped move her to the top of the bed. "I'll go get
her." He pressed a long kiss to her forehead and
moved to get the baby just as she began to cry. "Shh."
He cooed softly as he wrapped a blanket around the
small bundle and sat beside Scully.
Scully held out her arms expectantly.
"What should we name her?" She asked after a few
moments of silence.
Mulder lifted his head slightly from where he was
leaning back against the wall, Scully's head resting
on his shoulder. He ran his hand up and down the
baby's leg. "Any ideas?"
Scully's eyes slowly began to close without her
control as she leaned into Mulder's warmth. "You
wanted a girl so you must have something thought
up." She smiled up knowingly. "Please share."
Mulder blushed a little. "I've always loved the name
Aeryn."
Looking down at the baby, Scully smiled. "That is
beautiful, Mulder. And it fits her for some reason.
Aeryn it is."
Mulder felt a surge of pride at being able to name
their daughter. "You pick a middle name."
Scully bit her lip. "I think." She said slowly. "It
would be fitting if we named her Hope."
Pressing his lips to Scully's temple he let out a
whispered. "Yes." Pulling way he looked down at the
baby in Scully's arms, Aeryn's fingers had wrapped
around his index finger without his even knowing it.
"That is prefect."
"Aeryn Hope." Scully whispered softly. "Welcome to
the world."
Part 47
Day 249
Scully woke slowly, her body drained and sore. But
her heart was light and eager for her to open her eyes.
Her mind however, was content to rest longer so her
eyes didn't open. Instead she leaned back into
Mulder's warmth as he held her behind. His face
rested against her neck, his breath moist and warm
just below the base of her skull. Under the pillow
they shared Scully could feel Mulder's arm folded,
lifting her head even more. His other arm, purely out
of habit rested over her body, his hand over her now
vacant womb.
With a deep sigh Scully finally opened her eyes.
Immediately she focused across the dim room to the
crib. She could see slight movements through the
bars and smiled. Scully watched her baby from a
distance as Mulder slowly woke beside her. It had
been a long night for the both of them. Late night
feedings, new parent jitters, long moments spent just
staring at the miracle in their arms. She felt as rested
as she expected to.
"Morning." Mulder whispered in her ear and pressed
a long kiss to her neck. "She's awake." He noted as
he followed Scully's eye line to the wondrous
movement in the crib.
"Yeah." Scully said softly, trying, unsuccessfully, to
hold in a groan as Mulder moved from behind her.
Mulder placed his hand over the pouch of her belly.
"Sorry." He said, gently rubbing his hand over the
soft flesh.
"It's ok." She whispered.
He brushed the hair away from her face before
pressing his lips to her forehead. "Can I get you
anything?"
"Yeah." Scully smiled brightly. "The baby."
Returning her smile, Mulder leaned down and kissed
slowly and deeply. He finally pulled away and slide
out of bed, shivering as the cool air of the room hit
his bare chest and legs. He stooped by the fireplace to
add more wood, while Scully slowly stacked pillows
up on the headboard so she could sit with some
comfort. Mulder washed his hand before stepping
across the room and leaning over the edge of the crib.
"Morning, Sunshine." He said softly, staring down at
Aeryn's big blue eyes. Carefully he scooped her up in
his arms. Instinctively the baby cuddled up to the
bare skin of Mulder's chest.
"Can I have her?" Scully asked as Mulder sat beside
her in bed.
As Mulder eased Aeryn away from his chest she
began to cry from lose of contact. Scully immediately
cooed to try to quiet her. In a moment she was silent
as she nursed. Pressing a kiss to Scully's shoulder,
Mulder set his head down and closed his eyes. "I
should go get breakfast." He muttered. "You feel like
eating?"
Scully nodded but didn't take her eyes off the baby in
her arms. "I think I could eat a little."
Mulder eased a pillow beneath Scully's arm to take
off some of the weight from the baby. Leaning over
he kissed Aeryn's head, the slight dusting of pale hair
tickling his nose. Sitting up he kissed Scully's bright
hair before once again getting out of bed. He glanced
up at Scully as he dressed, and couldn't help but
smile at the way she stared at the baby in complete
amazement. "Do you want me to tell everyone?"
Finally she looked up him with a smile. "Yeah. They
should know."
Mulder's heart was full with pride at being able to
announce the arrival of their baby. With one last
smile he left the room.
Day 251
"You look beat." Skinner said glancing at Mulder
then back to Amanda and Scully where were talking
next to the crib, now decorated in handmade
blankets. Wooden toys and plush animals where piled
in the corner, all gifts from the people of Nova.
Mulder shrugged as well as he could from his
slouched position against the wall. It had been a long
few days. It seemed every time Aeryn would be
sleeping and they finally found some quiet time
someone would stop by to visit. The random people
would only stay for a moment, but some for an hour.
The Gunmen came by and it was nearly impossible to
get them away from the baby.
Mulder had always been used to functioning on little
sleep, but usually it was by his choice. Now all he
wanted to do was sleep for a few uninterrupted hours.
"Scully looks good." Skinner commented.
Mulder's head spun around to look at him sharply.
"I mean she looks like she is doing well after the
birth. Jesus Mulder, relax." Skinner said with a
chuckle.
"Sorry." He muttered under his breath, looking over
at Scully. She did look well. Her body was still full
from pregnancy, but he could see her naturally
slender figure hidden beneath the light cushion.
Mulder preferred her with a little more weight then
she normally kept on anyway. He smiled as he
watched Scully pass Aeryn into Amanda's arms.
Skinner looked over at Mulder with raised brows at
his yawn. "Maybe we should get going." Not waiting
for him to answer he stepped up towards Amanda.
"We should go."
Amanda looked up at Skinner then down at Aeryn,
disappointed, but knew he was right.
"Come by tomorrow." Scully said quickly. "I'll be
glad for the company."
Mulder stepped up and took Aeryn from Amanda just
as the baby yawned. "I think it's everyone's
bedtime." He slowly eased the baby into her crib as
everyone bid their good byes and left the room.
"Beautiful baby." Amanda said softly as they walked
down the hallway.
Skinner made an agreeable sound in the back of his
throat.
Reaching over she squeezed his forearm. "Don't
worry Walter, I'm in no rush to have kids."
There was a moment of silent. "Who said I'm not?"
He said without looking at her.
Amanda looked sharply over at him until, finally he
turned his head and met her eyes. He looked nervous
and uncertain, and even a little scared. She held his
gaze for a moment, then smiled. "Come on." Amanda
said softly, taking his hand in hers and tugging him
down the hall to her room.
Day 253
Mulder ignored, for the first time at Nova, whoever
was knocking at his door. He flat out refused to open
his eyes even as the knocking got louder and more
often. He ignored it as Scully buried her head against
his arm to block out the noise as she too chose to pay
no attention to it. He ignored it through the calls of
his name. He ignored it up until the point when
Aeryn woke up and began to cry.
"Damn it." He mumbled, finally dragging himself out
as Scully muttered out something along the same
lines and went to the baby. "Yeah?" He said as he
swung open the door, not hiding the fact that he was
not happy to have been woken up.
"I'm really sorry to wake you." Alex said before
Mulder had even finished stepping out the door. "But
Collin never came back for watch last night."
Mulder stared at him for a moment as his sleep
clogged mind focused on the situation. "Collin
should have been back at midnight."
"I know." Alex said softly.
Running his hand through his hair, Mulder pondered
his options. "Ok, I'm going to get dressed and we'll
get a few people together and go looking. Have you
told Skinner?"
Alex nodded quickly. "I'll get him."
"No. He hasn't recovered enough to do this. Just tell
him we are going and will check back by midnight
tonight or assume there is a problem. I'll meet you in
the Main Room in about ten minutes." Mulder
stepped back into his room and Scully looked up
expectantly as she rocked Aeryn in her arms. "I have
to go."
"What? Outside?" Scully said nervously. It just
seemed to get colder and colder lately. Watchers
were only out for two hours before shifting off
because it was too brutal out.
"Yeah." Mulder pulled off his sweatpants and
stepped into a pair of jeans. "Collin never came back
from watch."
Scully frowned as she walked over to the dresser,
balancing the baby on one arm she pulled clothes for
Mulder out with her free hand. "It's too cold out there
if anything happened to him. He wouldn't make it."
She handed him his shirts.
"We'll find him." He said simply before pulling a
sweater on over his head.
"This one too." Scully said, forcefully placing
another sweater in his hands.
Even though Mulder was already feeling suffocated
in his layers of clothes he put the offered sweater on
to ease her mind. After tying his boots Mulder stood
upright and looked at Scully were she stood with
Aeryn held tightly to her, her lips pressed to the
baby's forehead, and a distant look in her eyes.
Mulder walked over and pressed his lips to her
temple, his arms enfolding the two carefully. "I'll be
ok."
Scully nodded. "Just be careful, Mulder."
Mulder raised her chin gently with his hand and
pressed his lips to hers. Leaning down he kissed
Aeryn, once again sleeping. He left the room quickly,
unable to look Scully in the eye. Walking out the
door was by far the hardest thing he had ever had to
do. Part of him, in the back of his mind, screamed
that this was nature. Being the first time he was going
to leave his wife and new baby and go outside of
Nova. But the rest of him, the majority of him just
didn't want to leave. It didn't matter why, he just
wanted to stay there with his family like he felt he
should. To take care of them, to love them, to live.
***
Mulder could only remember being this cold one
other time in his life, laying in the Antarctic, wrapped
in Scully's arms, only able to think of the ship he had
just seen fly over head, and how close he had come to
losing her again. Now all he could think about was
getting back to Scully, preferably wrapped in her
arms, in bed, warm and comfortable with his child
sleeping safely across the room.
But he couldn't. At least not yet, he had to remind
himself. Him and three other men had been walking
for hours until they finally split up to cover more
ground. It wasn't looking good. As Scully said; if
something had happened to Collin to keep him from
returning to Nova, he wouldn't have been able to
spend the night in this cold and live. But Mulder was
unable to except that and not be able to bring home
the body for his family. They deserved to bury him in
the graveyard, with a head stone, with closure. Such a
seemingly simple thing made the biggest difference.
It filled that hole in a person's heart.
Mulder cursed under his breath as it started to snow
big fat flakes. This wasn't going to help. He could
barely see through the heavy fall.
Leaning back against a tree, Mulder stretched his
arms over his head. He leaned his head back, then
side to side. Easing the tension of his tired and cold
muscles. His opened his eyes, head his facing the
sky. And his heart stopped.
Three ships hovered over head. Motionless.
Mulder dropped his arms and stepped out from under
the tree, moving around to get a better look.
A roar filled his eyes, one he had heard before. The
earth shook beneath him. The sky lit with the bright
colors of an explosion as Mulder tumbled to the
ground.
Part 48 of 48
Day 253 (continued)
Mulder could feel the cold of the snow burning the
exposed skin of his face. He knew he should move,
but his head pounded so hard that it was impossible
to think about anything else.
Slowly, as the ringing in his ears died down, the
popping and sizzling sounds of fires were audible. He
couldn't hold in a groan as he rolled himself on his
back, gasping for air as his throbbing body dealt with
the movement. The large flakes of snow that fell on
his face were soothing.
"Scully." He muttered out loud without even
realizing. With a deep cringing breath Mulder forced
himself into a sitting position. He pressed the heel of
his hand to his spinning head. Ignoring the nausea
Mulder struggled to stand.
He had to go back to Nova. He must get back as fast
as he could. It ran through his head in a continuous
loop.
Bracing himself with a hand on tree whenever
possible, Mulder started trenching through the thick
layer of snow on unsteady legs.
He focused on nothing else other then getting to
Nova. It three hours away though, three hours before
the latest two inch snow fall, before a nauseating
headache. But the motivation he had now was
completely different then his walk away from Nova.
That was about finding a body, this was about finding
his love.
***
The explosion must have been a few hundred miles
west of Nova, Mulder decided. As he walked east,
towards his home, the destruction lessened slightly.
Trees were down everywhere, he hand walked past a
few of the newly constructed barns, which now lay in
mostly rumble amongst the snow.
Even when he was at a distance he could tell Nova
had crumbled once again. A large cloud of dust
rested in the sky above Nova, brought on by the
tumbling of rocks and boulders. The snow now
falling from the sky was black with soot. The heat of
the fires had turned the ground into slush, Mulder
was soaked through and shivering horribly. But,
thank God, the air was breathable, the sky though
gray was visible, and he could see Nova.
Finally Mulder reached a side entrance, only slightly
caved in. He picked his way through not being as
careful as he should, but he didn't slow down. He
couldn't. The heat of the interior of Nova reminded
him of the lives inside. He hadn't seen anyone since
he split up with the search group, but not once had
that crossed his mind.
Nova was eerily quiet.
Mulder walked as quickly as his bruised body and
aching head would allow down a small hallway that
would intersect with the North Hallway.
The North Hallway was vacant. Mulder's stomach
twisted. Ignoring the pain in his body he broke out
into a run, taking a small pathway that would cut
across to the East Hallway.
With one light push his door swung open.
"Scully?" He called desperately.
His echo was the only answer.
Mulder walked over the crib, looking down with a
mixture of hope and dread, not sure of what he
wanted to see.
He saw nothing.
"Ok." He whispered to himself. "Think logically."
Mulder left the room and made his way down the
silent hallways of Nova.
With a deep breath Mulder turned the knob of the
Medical Room door and stepped into the lit room.
"Oh Mulder, thank God you are ok." Judy said
holding a fussing Aeryn in her arms.
Without a word Mulder walked up and took the baby
into his arms holding her close to him, his lips
pressed to her forehead, breathing in the comforting
clean baby scent. Aeryn quieted in his familiar
presence.
After a moment he raised his head and looked around
the Medical Room, fully expecting to see Scully
kneeling by one of the many cots. Mulder's eyes
closed in fear. "Where's Scully?" He asked softly.
"I don't know." Judy said nervously. "I was in here
tending to people, no one was hurt badly, just scrapes
and bruises, so I hadn't sent for her. Then she came
in, handed Aeryn to me and left. Skinner told
everyone to stay in their rooms, I figured that's why
she hadn't came back, but that doesn't make much
sense."
Mulder looked at her question. Why would Scully
have left? People were injured, despite severity she
would have stayed to help. Why would she leave the
baby? It was all so unlike her.
Realization passed through Mulder, like an ice cold
fist gripping his stomach. She went looking outside
of Nova for him. That's what he would have done if
she had been out there. Left the baby is capable hands
then started to search.
"Did she say anything?" He asked in hope. He just
needed a clue as to what direction she started in and
then he could find her-he would find her.
Judy shook her head slowly. "She just said she had to
go."
"Oh God." Mulder breathed out, pressing Aeryn
closer to him. "Can you watch her for me?"
Immediately Judy nodded and reached out to take the
baby.
"I'll be back." Mulder said with a lingering look at
Aeryn before leaving the room.
"Not again." He prayed softly as he began to jog
towards the Main opening of Nova.
He skidded to a stop halfway through the Main
Room, at the Church door. With a shaking hand he
opened the door. He wasn't sure why he had stopped
here, it was just instinctive. But Mulder had learned a
long time ago, to never ignore his instincts. They had
saved his, and Scully's neck too often.
Disappointment filled his heart as he scanned the
chairs, all vacant. As he went to close the door a
small movement in the far corner caught his eye.
"Scully." He breathed in relief, even though fear still
occupied most of his heart. He slowly, cautiously,
made his way over to her as she crouched in the
corner; her knees pulled to her chest. "Scully?"
Her head flew up in surprise.
Mulder dropped to his knees beside her, pulling her
against him. "Are you ok?"
Scully nodded, her tears beginning to soak through
Mulder's shirt. "I was so scared I would be called."
"You weren't?" Mulder asked in surprise as he pulled
away from just enough to see her face.
"No. But I was scared I would be. I had to get away
for Aeryn."
Mulder nodded, pulling her back against him. It made
sense to him now. She left Aeryn in fear that she
would hurt her. Scully's worst fear. His too. But it
didn't happen. Nothing happened. Scully was ok,
They had left her alone this time.
"It's ok." Mulder whispered as he rocked her gently.
"Aeryn." Scully said simply, attempting to move out
of his embrace.
But he pulled her back to him, not wanting to let go
of the warmth and comfort her body gave him.
"She's ok." He breathed into her hair. "I just saw her.
Everything is ok."
Scully settled her head back on his shoulder. His
strong arms encircling her, locking out any bad
thoughts. He was ok. He hadn't been killed in the
explosion like she feared. Their family, though new
and small was intact and safe in the walls of Nova.
Day 400 (About 5 months later)
Scully spread the blanket out on a fairly flat area of
land, immediately laying on her back. The air was
still cool from a long winter, but the sun was strong
and bright, chasing away any chills from the wind.
Lowing Aeryn to the middle of the blanket, Mulder
settled on his side looking over at Scully. Her eyes
were closed, her head tilting back, doing her best to
enjoy her Sunday off.
"Hey, where do you think you're going?" He asked
Aeryn as she rolled onto her stomach and pushed
herself up as much as she could on her arms.
Pinching the fabric of her shirt between his fingers,
Mulder stopped any potential movement.
Scully lolled her head to the side, partly to see what
the baby was doing and partly because a ship passing
over head had blocked the sun's warming rays for a
moment. "She has your attention span."
Mulder just grinned. With an annoyed look at Aeryn
he scooped her up from where she was slowly
inching her way off the blanket and sat her up,
leaning against his stomach as he lifted himself up on
one elbow.
Sliding a little closer to them, Scully reached out and
gently brushed her fingers through Aeryn's soft red
hair.
"What are you thinking about?" Mulder asked
noticing her far off expression.
She looked up at him with a shrug. "Nothing and
everything."
He nodded, knowing exactly what she meant.
Mulder caught Aeryn with a chuckle as she lost her
balance and toppled to the side. He rested her head on
his outstretched arm as he lowered himself
completely to the blanket. She stared up at him,
grabbing and reached for anything she could possibly
get her curious little hands on. Scully watched with
an amused smile as Aeryn wrapped her small fingers
around the chain of Mulder's Nova charm. He
grumbled and carefully untangling her fingers,
shoving the charm under his shirt.
After a few moments of silence, Aeryn now content
with pulling at the collar of Mulder's shirt, Scully
gently tapped Mulder's shin with her toe to get his
attention. "What are you thinking about?"
"Same as you." He responded, running his fingers
over Aeryn's belly lightly, smiling as she giggled and
cooed.
Scully laughed softly at the two. "What's the
`everything' you are thinking about today?" She
asked to make idle conversation.
"Same as it is every day."
She raised her eyebrows in question.
With a slight tilt of his chin, Mulder gestured to
Aeryn and Scully. "You're `everything'."
Scully smiled, inching even closer. "And what's the
`nothing'?"
Mulder jerked his head up the sky, signaling to the
ships that passed over head all day long. They were
all but forgotten, but never completely out of one's
conscious, even during the quiet times like this. "But
the `nothing' doesn't matter." He said smiling into
her eyes. "The `everything' does."
"Yeah, it does." Scully said softly, settling her head
on his forearm, and her hand on Aeryn's belly.
Notes: It's actually over..
First and foremost, thank you to Evie for all her
timely beta work and suggestions and help. Evie
supported me throughout this ordeal, yelled at me
when I toyed with the idea of saying to hell with it
and not finishing Nova, and gave me many virtual
kicks when I wouldn't be writing when I should.
Sitting here now, after finishing Nova, I can't think
of word to describe how grateful I am for everything
Evie has done. Thank you just doesn't cut it.
Thanks to Evie (again) and Shell who had to listen to
me whine about Nova for months now =). Just think,
you are finally free!
And a HUGE thanks to everyone who read Nova.
And a bigger thanks to those of you who sent me
email about it. It always made me smile, especially
the ones who wrote frequently (you know who you
are). Without you all I never would have done as
much as I did.
Nova, by far, has been the most interesting writing
experience of my life. 5 months, 182 Word Doc
pages later I have a fic that I can't believe came from
my muse. For a long time, as I was writing Nova, I
thought this was going to be the last fic I would
write. That's a joke =). So don't worry all who yelled
at me for saying such a thing, I just don't think its
possible.
My goal with Nova was invoke emotion. Laughter,
fear, joy, tears, and hopefully even some sense of
closure with this story. The only way for Nova to end
without any possibility of a sequel would be to kill
everyone, but I can't do that. Never will be able to
without a huge amount of guilt. I felt Nova was
becoming stale. I could have kept it going forever,
but felt it was time to end it. Hopefully you feel the
same. Please don't flame me if you don't agree, that
only makes me sad =(. But I would love to hear your
end thoughts on this fic.
So, once again, thank you for reading. The only point
for this to be written is for it to be read. If you
enjoyed this please archive, recommend, send me one
last praise, whatever you would like to do. Nova is up
for anything it deserves.
Thank you.
(
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