It was in July, during a typical prairie heat wave when my partner and I were dispatched to a residence by a worried postal worker who had noticed that the mail at one particular house had not been picked up for the last two weeks...uh oh!
We parked on the street and could smell it from the curb. "This is going to be rude," I remarked to my partner Bob. The R.C.M.P. arrived and I was happy to see the familiar face of 'Tony the Cop' as we called him, exit the cruiser and join us on the sidewalk.
Tony pulled out a package of cigars. We lit up and forced our way inside. Amongst the trash strewn over the floor was DEAD GUY face down. We ensured he was indeed deceased (which we could have done from the curb) and notified the coroner. Bob volunteered to wait for him outside...Thanks Bob! Tony and I looked around the place, counting empty whiskey bottles, and smoking the cigars which helped to keep the smell down.
About forty-five minutes later Bob radioed me that the coroner, Beakman was on scene. Beakman...great. I'm not one to run down coroners but if he was in the middle of the street I'd sure be tempted to! Tony and I bet to see how long it would take before Beakman said something stupid.
Beakman poked his head in the door and asked "Is the dead guy in here?" I won the bet as Tony shook his head. Beakman flipped open his notebook and circled the body like he was savoring a fine wine. He scribbled a few notes before he squatted down near the head.
He looked at the decomposing head, blackened by the heat and grunted out, "What is that, some sort of gorilla mask?" I told him no, that is just plain old DEAD GUY's head. Beakman gave me the look that said you're an idiot and continued, "Must be some sort of Halloween thing."
Despite our best efforts Beakman was still certain it was a mask. Tony could no longer contain himself piped up and said "Ya, sure doc it's not really DEAD GUY, it's Cocoa The Gorilla Man! He got laid off when the circus went broke and he was so depressed he locked himself in here and drank too much banana juice!"
Beakman slightly offended but ready to prove his point, tried to turn over DEAD GUY so that he could pull
off the mask. Now you have to remember it was hot and this guy was really stuck to the floor, Beakman was pulling
and grunting, trying to turn over DEAD GUY when riiiiiiip, DEAD GUY's face ripped right off, most of it sticking to the floor.
Beakman quickly joined Bob outside as Tony called out "Hey Doc!, Trick or Treat!"
