So your friend or loved one has leukaemia. I can hear you know.
"What do I do? How can I help? Why him/her?"
I'll tell you exactly what you can do.
First. It's not your fault he/she has leukaemia. Leukaemia
does not discriminate. It's those bastards who make fuel for the
cars we drive that contribute to the cause of Leukaemia. But that's
another story. God knows how many times I have abused fuel companies
and oil companies.
Here is what you can do. BE THERE. Help them by being there
and show them that you care. Physically, you cannot do a thing.
Except for being tested for a bone marrow match. When a person who
has leukaemia is alone, they are frightened. But don't go in there
saying that everything will be alright. We all want to believe that
anyway. But not even the doctors can guarantee us that we will get
out in one piece. All you have to do is be there for them, make them
laugh, watch a video or some television with them. Talk about Saddam
Hussein and what a jerk he is. Talk about me and what a legend I
am. ;o)
Just make conversation. Talk about the Leukaemia if you like.
It really is a fascinating subject. For most of us anyway.
Not talking about because of fear is living in denial. It's there
so talk about it. Deal with it.
Bring home cooked food. Nothing better than a good batch of home
cooking your mother makes. Beats that microwaved, second hand, regurgitated
slop the hospital gives you. Private hospitals are different of course,
but I still need mothers home cooking to get me through. All those
meatballs covered in that special sauce with mashed potato and Gravy.
Damn, I'm getting hungry now.
While on the subject of food, a Leukaemia patient has a very fluctuating
appetite. They may get extremely hungry and crave certain foods,
or the appetite may disappear altogether. Do not force them to eat
or drink. Do not talk about food when they feel sick. The mere
mention of a carrot can make them vomit all over that nice pretty dress
you got for your birthday from grandma 3 years ago that she sent from Barbados
while shopping for diamond earrings that she plans to wear at your wedding
to the jerk that cheated on you with some sleazy transvestite who paid
for a sex change with the money he stole from the local nursing home fund.
Sorry, I was on a roll then. Couldn't help myself. ;o)
Seriously, don't force them to eat when they're not hungry. Big
mistake because it really did make me sick when I smelt the food coming
in for the guy in the next bed.
While undergoing chemo, the patient is always right. Even when
he's wrong, he's right. Do not EVER argue or disagree with a Leukaemia
patient while he/she is in hospital. That temper can flare because
they have enough to deal with. They don't need any disagreeing.
I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to keep from saying that
everything will be alright. Tell them once if you have to, but repeating
it is a no no. When they get out of hospital, don't keep calling
them to see how they are doing. I really appreciated it and all but
I was getting about 15 phone calls a day from people asking the same thing.
"How are you feeling?" I bought an answering machine to record the
messages so I could get back to them all later. Call every 3rd day
or something. They will still be tired for a few months after they
get out so let them rest. Let them appreciate life more. I
know I did.
If you can manage all this, your friend/loved one will be one happy
camper.