School Health & Medicine

Not Quite Medical Terminology

Benign..........................What you be after you be eight.

Artery..........................The study of paintings.

Bacteria........................Back door to cafeteria.

Barium..........................What doctors do when patients die.

Cesarean Section................A neighborhood in Rome.

Catscan.........................Searching for kitty.

Cauterize.......................Made eye contact with her.

Colic...........................A sheep dog.

Coma............................A punctuation mark.

D & C...........................Where Washington is.

Dilate..........................To live long.

Enema...........................Not a friend.

Faint...........................What the fine print on the bill is.

Fester..........................Quicker than someone else.

Fibula..........................A small lie.

Genital.........................Non-Jewish person.

G.I. Series.....................World Series of military baseball.

Hangnail........................What you hang your coat on.

Impotent........................Distinguished, well known.

Labor Pain......................Getting hurt at work.

Medical Staff...................A Doctor's cane.

Morbid..........................A higher offer at the auction.

Nitrates........................Cheaper than day rates.

Node............................Was aware of.

Outpatient......................A person who has fainted.

Pap Smear.......................A fatherhood test.

Pelvis..........................Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative..................A letter carrier.

Recovery Room...................Place to do upholstery.

Rectum..........................What a kid does to another kids's toys.

Secretion.......................Hiding something.

Seizure.........................Roman emperor.

Stye............................Pig Pen.

Tablet..........................A small table.

Terminal Illness................Getting sick at the airport.

Tumor...........................More than one.

Urine...........................Opposite of you're out.

Varicose........................Near by/close by.

Vein............................Conceited

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