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Label's Are For Cans -- Not For Kids
This is a story of a young boy
Who was born 8 weeks early.
He had so much hair
His parents named him Curly.
He was very cute
Blue shirt and white socks.
I should also mention
He was "positive tox."
But born premature
He was in a difficult position
The pediatrician warned his parents
Curley's got a "genetic predisposition."
But not to worry, said the doctor,
It's come to my attention
There's a new program around
Called "early intervention."
His behavior was strange
To say the very best
So his parents did the usual.
They took him for some tests.
The doctors were dismayed
That his milestones were delayed,
EEG, blood tests, x-rays,
The first of many diagnosis were made.
The entire staff got together
And said I'll bet you a quarter
This little child has a "seizure disorder."
Relieved with a clear answer
The diagnosticians walked tall.
The parents left the hospital
With a bucket of phenobarbital.
Two pills a day
Both morning and night.
But when Curley went to school
Nothing seemed right.
Eye contact was poor.
Attention span short.
Now it was the teachers who held their own court.
This child is different,
His language has not started.
Perhaps this child is "mentally retarded."
But mental retardation
He didn't seem to the eye.
possibly not global
Just minimally "B.I."
Seizure disorder, retardation, brain injury
Not exactly topics for a luncheon.
Maybe make this label more palatable
And call it a "perceptual dysfunction"
The parents were scared
The child lost too.
Now they really had
Some testing to do.
But who would they see
Pediatrician, teacher, neurologist?
No- they chose the local speech pathologist.
More testing, more games
An attempt to be realistic.
The speech pathologist said
He's not brain injured-he's "autistic!"
But he did well in therapy
Too well for his label
So more diagnosis were put on the table.
Should the child leave home
To keep the family in order?
No-specialists said-it's not autism,
It's a "pervasive developmental disorder."
Many therapists continued
And his affect progressed.
Maybe the wrong label
Had once again been addressed.
The mom was upset.
The therapist tried to support her,
And as Curly improved, they thought
It's a "phonological disorder."
A phonological disorder
Well, that can relax ya.
Years ago, wasn't it called
"Developmental Apraxia?"
But as he did better in school
Despite his previous label.
It became clear to all
He was simply "learning disabled!"
Well, that's pretty vague
A need to be more specific
Dysgraphia, dyslexia, dyscalculia
All seemed less horrific.
While academics improved
His behavior seemed worse
It was more than LD
A new unknown curse.
We moved to the 80's
And LD seemed rather old
We must find a new label
Before the clues get cold!
More testing, more opinions
A neuropsychological to put it in order
This is the 90's
He's got "attention deficit disorder."
But it was more than academics.
His behavior was too bad.
Continued medication
Only made him feel sad.
The specialists got together
At conferences like these.
An attempt to label further.
The audience seemed pleased.
Research and data
The basis of our creativity
The labels had been all wrong
It's "ADD with hyperactivity!"
My question is tongue and cheek
How important is the label?
Shouldn't we just describe the symptoms
And put each one on the table?
Well, Curly's doing well
He's a therapist today.
He avoids using labels
In every possible way.
He provides for his patients
A daily dose of reality.
The only problem is- he's a analyst
With a "borderline personality."
By Arnold Shapiro
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