See It, Believe It, Make It Real by Sheri O. Zampelli August 13, 2000 One way to sabotage success is by mentally imagining failure, thereby setting yourself up to fail before you even getting started. For example, some of us “practice” failing a test by telling ourselves, “I’ll never pass that test, I should have studied more.” When we take the test our mind freezes in anxiety and we prove ourselves right. We fail. When we daydream failure, we are engaging in negative self-talk and negative self-imaging. Changing your self-image can help you move closer to the life you desire. When you imagine a well-received speech, a compatible date or a stress-free exam in rich, vivid detail, you’re gearing your mind and body for success instead of failure. Begin practicing positive imagery by setting aside quiet time to visualize success. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and imagine what success feels like. If you felt completely successful, how would you carry yourself? What would you feel like? Imagine a specific time when you felt completely successful. What was the weather like? What were you wearing? Who else was with you? What did your surroundings look, smell, or sound like? Once you’ve practiced visualizing past successes, take a moment to think about a goal you’d like to attain. Fast forward in time and imagine in vivid detail that you’ve already achieved this goal. Transfer your feelings regarding past successes onto this new scenario. After you open your eyes, carry that feeling of success with you into the rest of the day. There are other ways to use visualization besides mental imagery. Advertisers spend billions of dollars strategically placing billboards, bus signs and magazine ads in the right places so we’ll want to purchase the products we see advertised. We can utilize the power of a multi-million dollar ad campaign and decide for ourselves what we want to “buy.” One way to do this is with a beneficial billboard. This is a collage that contains words, phrases and pictures that remind you of your goals and dreams. To begin, you’ll need a poster board and a stack of magazines. Set aside time to sort through the magazines and cut out words and pictures that represent your goals. If you want to travel to Hawaii, cut out pictures of Hawaii, the word Hawaii, pictures of people eating, swimming, snorkeling or sunbathing in Hawaii, anything that represents a Hawaiian vacation. If you want to lose weight, cut out pictures of thin, tone, healthy people and words that are motivating and positive. If your goal is less concrete, you can cut out symbolic pictures. For example, a cat can be symbolic of self-esteem and self-autonomy. A bald eagle can symbolize rarity, beauty, strength and clear vision. Choose pictures that symbolize values you want to focus on. Use a colorful poster board that evokes feelings of lightness and positivity. Create a visual masterpiece that you’ll look forward to viewing. Be sure to put your beneficial billboard somewhere that you’ll be able to see it on a regular basis. Look at it daily and allow the pictures to come alive for you. Imagine yourself doing, being and having all the elements of your beneficial billboard. As you imagine this vividly, your mind will open the way for these dreams to become your reality. Look at your beneficial billboard everyday until it becomes comfortable for you to think of yourself as a person who is worthy and capable of your goals. A self-fulfilling scrapbook is a visualization technique similar to a beneficial billboard. Rather than putting your pictured goals on a poster board, put them in a notebook, scrapbook or photo album. Once you’ve designed a self-fulfilling scrapbook, set aside time to review it daily. As you do you’ll probably experience small changes in your thinking and behavior. As time passes, you will see yourself moving closer to your goals without much stress or strain. You don't have to know all the details of how you’ll accomplish your goals, if you put the intention out there and focus on it daily, ideas and inspirations will come to you in unexpected ways. Some day, that self-fulfilling scrapbook will be a true record of the things you have done in your life because you will look at it 5-10 years from now and realize that: A) it came true, B) it’s on it’s way to coming true or C) it didn’t come true, but something even better happened instead. Another positive tool to use while visualizing your desired goals is a creating history journal. In this journal, make entries as if your ideal future has already arrived. Write in the same style as you would in a regular journal; using personalized statements and the present tense. Let’s say you have an important event coming up and you’re feeling nervous and scared. An old, self-defeating behavior would be to worry about the event and imagine all the worst case scenarios so that by the time the event arrives you’re a nervous wreck and maybe some of your worst fantasies come true. Or, perhaps the event goes wonderfully but you can’t enjoy it because you’re too tense and worried. You can use your creating history journal to write about the event as you’d like it to happen. Place a date on the entry that’s equal to or preceding the event. For example, if the event is on December 31, 2005 write that date, not the actual date, at the top of your entry. Then, write about the event as if it has already passed and it turned out as you wished. Kathy was feeling anxious about her summer vacation. She had plans to visit her parents in another state. In the past, they had tension and fighting during visits. Kathy never felt appreciated by her parents and experienced increasing anxiety as it came close to time for the visit. Here’s her creating history journal entry: “August 20, 2000, We just left my parents house and had the best visit ever. I felt less stress than usual because I decided beforehand that I would do my best and let the rest go. It worked! I decided not to have high, unrealistic expectations. When they told me they were happy to see me, it felt really good. I’m so glad I decided to do things differently this time and I actually look forward to seeing my parents again.” A creating history journal helps you focus on positive outcomes rather than worrying and focusing on worst case scenarios. Use it to write about your ideal day or to write about completing a big goal. Use as much vivid detail as possible. Include feelings, sights, sounds, smells and anything that will make that journal entry come alive for you. Simply imagine positive outcomes, positive feelings. Daily practice with one or more of the techniques outlined in this article will help increase your confidence and enable you to stay focused on what you want in life versus worrying about what you don’t have. With repeated exposure to these new ideas you’re likely to become more comfortable with success and less likely to sabotage yourself. For more articles about overcoming self-sabotage   For articles including interviews with Sheri Olson Zampelli

Focusing on your failures can create a self-fulfilling prophecy that sabotages future successes.

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