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Sensible Goal Setting by Sheri Olson Zampelli February 1, 1999 In order to achieve on-going success and feel good about it, you need to set attainable goals. Each time you successfully accomplish a goal you send a message to your brain that you are capable. This positive feeling gives you courage, motivation and stamina necessary to take the proceeding steps. When all of your focus is on a big goal, each day you don't accomplish the goal, you end up feeling like a loser or failure. This causes depression, low self-esteem and lethargy, making it harder to proceed. Any goal you have can and should be broken down into a step-by-step, manageable plan for success. It doesn't matter how small your steps are, all that matters is that you accomplish them. Part of becoming successful includes being comfortable with the idea of success. The more experience you have with success the easier it will be to succeed in the future. If you have a concept of yourself as a failure then every time you succeed, you are moving out of your comfort zone and likely to encounter self-sabotage. The greater the success, the greater the sabotage. By taking baby steps, you gradually move yourself towards becoming comfortable with success and will be less likely to self-sabotage. Begin by focusing on a feasible goal that you are willing to work towards. For example, if you are afraid to strive for a better job then start by updating your resume. Since you need a resume to get a new job, updating it is an important step towards your goal. If you have been wanting to start an exercise program, begin with small steps like taking the stairs instead of the elevator, parking your car farther away and walking to your office. Walk to the grocery store or Post Office instead of driving. Once you get used to walking, increase your goal to walking one mile, three days a week. Later you may decide to go even higher. In the meantime, you adjust to exercise and it becomes a part of your life. It will become a habit and when you don't do it, you'll feel as though something is missing from your life. If you want to go back to school start with buying a course catalog, filing out the application or having your transcripts sent to you. If you want to communicate better with others start by practicing your communication skills with a supportive friend or spending time each day visualizing yourself as a successful communicator. If you want to change your eating habits, start by cutting out one food item at a time. When you are successful at one portion of your goal you can strive for the next level. Achieving goals on a step-by-step basis, helps you to dip your feet into the success pool a little at a time. As you get comfortable with one level and step in deeper, you adjust accordingly. Don’t set yourself up for failure by starting with a goal that is overwhelming and fearful. Other ways to build your self-confidence include:
Long-term success is a step-by-step process. Consider how a child begins to walk. Long before he or she can take the first step there are many preparatory steps such as rolling over, sitting up, scooting on his or her belly, crawling, exploring in a walker, standing with support, taking steps while holding a parent’s hand and finally taking a first independent step. The first steps are followed by many falls. One step, fall, one step, fall, two steps, fall over and over again until finally one can stand and walk on his or her own. Each of the preparatory steps is important and necessary. Each one counts. Each day you go to work, each dollar you put in the bank, each morsel of food you leave on your plate, each day you attend class -- it all counts. Our problems come when impatience takes over and we refuse to acknowledge the baby steps. When we force ourselves to move forward we end up further behind than we were to begin with and our self-esteem takes a beating.
Working with others can help you stay motivated, accountable and committed to your goals. You might want to consider forming your own goal setting group with co-workers, friends or colleagues who are positive and like-minded. For goal setting support, go to the From Sabotage to Success Support Group. The Church of Today publishes an excellent, calendar-style book called the Master Mind Journal which includes a suggested group format you might find helpful.
A goal group is designed to support you in achieving your goals and can serve as a form of reward and reinforcement. Each week as you report your progress to the group, you receive congratulations and praise. Each week members report progress over the past week and shares goals for the upcoming week. This is not a group for advice giving or nay-saying but simply offering support. After all progress reports are made members offer each other support by using an affirmation such as: “I believe in you and I support you as you move towards your goal.”
For more articles about overcoming self-sabotage
For articles including interviews with Sheri Olson Zampelli |
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