Ari's eyes fluttered open and she squinted against the bright light. Slowly, she sat up, looking around.  Nothing but white. She looked down to see her pink hair lying bright against a white-so white-paper gown.

     White skin. White. White everywhere. Alone.

     What happened?
     It all rushed back to her and Ari grabbed her head, falling to her knees.
     Lila and Zell. The ballroom. Then darkness. Why am I alone?
     Her head jerked up, gray eyes suddenly blind, vacant, pupiless. Blood, knife, death. Her fault. Not her fault. Her fault. Controlled. Instrument.
     "NNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!" she screamed as any last remnants of sanity escaped her and she threw herself at the wall.

*                              *                              *

     Quistis averted her gaze from the screaming girl on the screen, breath hitching in her throat. She shut her eyes against the self-inflicted violence of Ari, who continued to scream nonsensical things and throw herself about the room, into the walls, grabbing her hair. That it all happened on a tiny screen just made it all more real.
     Why do I feel so sorry for her? After what she did...Why?! The blond folded her arms, shut her eyes.  Attempted to block out the screaming.
     Lila and Zell. At least they weren’t dead. Although they’d certainly come close. Both were in critical condition in Doctor Kadowaki’s office.
     The scene reappeared in front of her, as if she was staring at it again.
Things were scattered everywhere. All of Doctor Kadowaki’s books, instruments, records. Everywhere. The curtain between the office and the healing room was slashed, spattered with red, fluttering as if there were a light breeze coming in through the window. But there wasn’t. The cots lay overturned and Lila sprawled half under one, limbs spread at odd angles, crimson blood pooled around her. A knife was still stuck in her side, visible metal glinting in the moonlight. Zell halfway sat against the far wall, his eyes closed, the wall behind him cracked as if he’d been thrown into it. Blood dripped from a huge cut on the side of his head, and a circle of stab marks surrounded his heart. The only sound in the room was the dull beeping of the machine that Zell was still hooked up to, although the wires had ripped holes in his arms.  The only sign of life in that terrible room.
     Quistis wrapped her arms around herself and quickly left the viewing room, the bloodcurdling screams still echoing behind her. And even after the door closed, the shrieks stayed in her mind. Desperately, she raised her hands to cover her ears and hurried toward the infirmary. No one was up. It was too late at night. Seifer thought she was in bed, asleep. She’d asked to be alone. But she had to see Lila and Zell.
     Carefully, silently, she entered the room, still in disarray, and tiptoed to the operating room, peeking her head in. They lay silent, barely breathing, but breathing nonetheless. Quistis went to Zell, stroked a piece of hair off his white forehead, and an affectionate smile curved her mouth. When she turned to Lila, she met a pair of wide and scared hazel eyes. The young brunette opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She looked at Quistis imploringly, and Quistis nodded in understanding. A few moments later, Lila was back asleep.
     Just as silent as before, Quistis headed toward the exit, but stopped to look back. “Don’t worry,” she whispered. “He’ll pay. And you-everyone-will be safe again.” Then she left the infirmary, heading quickly to her dorm. She looked around and pulled out her card key.
     A strong hand closed about her wrist and she jumped. But the familiar pair of green eyes had her relaxing and she calmed herself. “Seifer, you scared me.”
     “Why are you still up?” Seifer demanded, eyes blazing.
     “I-I couldn’t sleep,” Quistis muttered. “I went to check on Lila and Zell.”
     His grip on her wrist tightened, but not enough to hurt her. “You went to the viewing room.”
     All her control disappeared and she broke down, collapsing against him in a fit of tears. “Seifer, it’s horrible. She-Ari...She’s hurting herself, she...I don’t know what to think anymore!” His hand slid from her wrist, as the anger faded to concern, and both arms enveloped her in an iron grip. “I was so sure it wasn’t her! But the evidence...And even now I’m not sure it IS her! Why would she be hurting herself?! It doesn’t make sense!”
     Seifer rested his chin on her head, let her cry. When her sobs faded to sniffles, he spoke. “I understand, strawberry, you trusted her. But all the evidence points to her, and I don’t think she’s sane. Those on that thin line between sanity and madness don’t know what they’re doing, but it doesn’t make it right. Just get some sleep.” He pressed his lips to her forehead and let go of her, hesitated. “Do you want company?”
     Drawing herself up, Quistis shook her head, then leaned forward to kiss him. “No. I...I need to be alone.”  Seifer nodded and watched as she disappeared into her room.  She poked her head out again. “I love you.”
     “I love you too, strawberry.” And he returned to his room.
     Biting her lip, Quistis waited, back against her door, until she was sure he was asleep, before locking it from the inside.  Even with a card key, unless it was a master, it would be impossible to open from the hall. Enough time for preparation.  She pulled closed the curtain, the still full moon washing the quad in a silver glow, and then crept to the bathroom.
     Swallowing hard, Quistis pulled her hair up, wincing at the spasm in her chest, but forcing herself to finish doing so.  Then she pulled the repaired peach combat gear out of her closet and held it to her face as a wave of memories washed over her, perhaps allowed by some understanding from her GFs.  Her first uncontrolled battle, the SeeD exam, her first mission.  And then the more vivid ones.
     The Fire Cavern with Squall. The secret area with Squall. Seifer’s escape from the detention center. His handsome smirking face in
Deling City, the same at the Garden battle. “Am I still your favorite student?” Quistis whispered. Then the look of desperation on his face before Adel. The heartbreak at his defeat. The hurt when Squall and Rinoa confessed their love for each other. And then Seifer’s reappearance, to claim a SeeD position and her heart.
     Seifer. Quistis closed her eyes against the tears. Hopefully he would forgive her. Hyne knew it would be hard for him. He would hate her. An image of him from earlier, looking like the devil in his suit with no tie and the top buttons undone, light shining on his golden hair and in his jade eyes, appeared in her mind. He was laughing down at her, whispering in her ear, kissing the curve of her neck. Dancing with her.
Wiping the tears from her eyes, she quickly put the gear on, scrawled a note to Seifer, and grabbed Save the Queen. With a last look around the room, she slipped a wallet-sized picture into her top and quietly left.
     The halls were silent and dark, except for the lights from the training center. With a curt nod to Garden faculty, she continued through the lobby and climbed over the metal turnstile to the very dark campus. Taking a long look behind her, she allowed herself a small smile at the silent Garden. Her home. “I’ll miss you,” she whispered and turned around.
     A slight shriek escaped before she clamped her mouth shut and stared in surprise into a pair of sardonic eyes.
     “Going somewhere, Quis?” Paige asked, sheathing her knives.
     “Just out for a walk,” the blond answered calmly.
     “Uh-huh.”  Paige tilted her head, before nodding slightly. “C’mon, I have a key to one of the boats in Balamb. It should have enough gas to get us to Timber.”
     Quistis laughed lightly.  “What are you talking about, Paige?”
     “Lila. Lex. Zell. I’m not stupid.”  She looked up at Quistis. “And I’m not letting you go alone.”
     “But Paige, SeeD-“
     The redhead laughed bitterly. “SeeD, huh? Right. I didn’t pass, Quis. Last thing they need is me hanging around. Besides, I already turned in my withdrawal.”
     “You’re quitting?!”
     “Yeah. Don’t know if you want a failure along, but I’m going either way.”
     Quistis smiled a little at that, at the irony-after all, she was in love with a “failure”-but it quickly faded. “Paige, what about Joe?”
     “Joe who?” she snorted. “Enough with the arguments, Quis, they won’t get you anywhere. I’m going with you. Or,” Paige smirked, an expression reminiscent of Seifer,” I’ll wake up everyone.  Right now.”
     The former instructor stared at the younger girl in disbelief, before sticking out a hand. “Let’s go.” Paige took it and nodded, then turned to exit over the front gate. “But let’s take the Ragnarok. I have clearance and it will make it harder for them to follow us.”
     Paige paused and looked over her shoulder. “I thought you wanted to leave without letting anyone know. I don’t think it works like that when there’s a very loud spaceship lifting off one hundred yards from where you’re escaping from.”
     Quistis couldn’t help but smile. “Because Ragnarok is so loud, Zell installed a sound barrier around Balamb. It goes up whenever Ragnarok is activated. No one will hear a thing.”
     “Nice of him.”
     “I thought so.”
     And they climbed over the front gate, heading to the ominous spaceship, its red metal glinting in the light. Paige uttered a low whistle as Quistis swiped her I.D. and Ragnarok lit up, the stairs dropping to the ground.
     “You know how to fly this?” Paige asked as they entered the cockpit, Quistis moving to the pilot’s seat.
     “No.” The blond fiddled with a few levers and pressed several buttons. Then she examined the screen which blinked twice. “Sound barrier up and functional.”
     “What do you mean ‘no’...?”
     “Engines fully functional. Prepare for take-off.”
     “Quis...”
     “Destination: Timber. In 5-“
     “Quistis...”
     “4.”
     “I don’t think this is such a good idea.”
     “3.”
     “No, really...The boat is a much better plan!”
     “2.”

     “Quistis!”
     “1.”
     “Holy shiiiiiii-“
     The rest of her words were lost as Ragnarok roared to life and lifted into the air, turning towards Timber. Quistis watched with a raised eyebrow as Paige let loose a stream of curses that she couldn’t hear. Amused, she reclined in one of the other seats and chuckled as the jerk of the spaceship knocked Paige off her feet. Abruptly the deafening roar stopped and the dark ocean raced by out the window.
     “Auto-pilot, Paige.”
     “Shut up,” came the disgruntled response from the body on the floor.
     Quistis rose and went to the window. Watching the retreating Garden, lit by the moon, Quistis raised a hand in salute. “Good-bye.” She reaching into her vest and stared at the miniature in her hand. “Good-bye, Seifer.”
                                *                              *                              *