In news that has electrified the comics industry, the founding
                  father of Marvel Comics will be writing a 12-issue
                  maxiseries for archrival DC Comics later this year.

                  USA Today revealed April 12 that Stan 'The Man' Lee,
                  recently released from his lifetime contract with Marvel, has
                  signed to write a series re-imagining the origins of Superman,
                  Batman, Wonder Woman, the Justice League of America and
                  others. Lee, 77, is expected to bring the same dramatic angst,
                  wry humor and creative energy to DC's stalwarts that he did
                  when co-creating Spider-Man, Fantastic Four, Avengers,
                  X-Men and the incredible Hulk for Marvel in the '60s.

                  The glossy, squarebound "what if" limited series will begin
                  with the unwieldy title Just Imagine Stan Lee With (artist)
                  John Buscema Creating Superman and won't change any
                  characters permanently or affect their regular series. Still,
                  big-name artists are scrambling to sign on, fans are swooning
                  and the entertainment industry is abuzz.

                  But what about the characters themselves? How do they feel
                  about being re-imagined by the man credited with giving
                  superheroes real-life problems? I've taken the liberty of
                  inviting Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman to the Comics
                  Cave to comment ...

                  Superman: Well, I have the greatest respect for Stan, Captain,
                  but -- Gosh-darnit, it STINKS!

                  Wonder Woman: Now, Clark, language ...

                  S: Don't patronize me, Diana! The first thing Stan said is that I
                  won't be from Krypton! Where ELSE would a Superman be
                  from? The Bronx?

                  Batman: I vote for Greenwich Village.

                  S: Don't be so smug, Bruce. Remember, Stan's most famous
                  creation is Spider-Man --

                  B: And you think I'll be bitten by a radioactive bat?

                  S: (Snicker) Actually, that would be kind of funny.

                  B: Not as funny as if you "Hulked out." Look, up in the sky!
                  It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Super-Pickle!

                  WW: Now, boys, the advance art for the Superman book is
                  rather nice. It shows Clark with ordinary pink skin and
                  stylishly short-cropped hair --

                  S: Oh, great. Now I'm Bruce Willis.

                  B: Or George Clooney. And take it from me, you don't want to
                  go there!

                  WW: Honestly, you boys are overreacting. It won't be that
                  bad.

                  S: What makes you think YOU'LL get off light? You'll
                  probably be an ex-porn star with a drug habit, like
                  Daredevil's old girlfriend. Oh, wait, isn't she dead?

                  B: Most ex-girlfriends are dead at Marvel. They drop like
                  flies over there. Murderous scum!

                  WW: Well, however Stan imagines me, at least I'll get out of
                  this red, white and blue swimsuit for a while! Do you have
                  any idea how uncomfortable it is fighting crime in a THONG?

                  S: Uh, well, not really ...

                  B: Maybe in this new series you'll find out!

                  S: Yeah? Or maybe you'll find out why you've been living
                  with two men all these years, Brucie ...

                  B: HEY! I date a LOT of women! Ask Alfred!

                  WW: You know, I've always wondered about that too, Bruce.
                  You've never once made a pass at me, when all I've been
                  wearing for years is, well, patriotic lingerie ...

                  B: You, too? Well, maybe Stan will find a new use for that
                  "magic lasso" of yours. Oh, my mistake -- you've ALREADY
                  gotten plenty of use out of it, haven't you?

                  WW: That's not fair! All that bondage stuff happened in the
                  '40s, and it was all very innocent! Why, I haven't been tied up
                  in ... well, in a month or two, anyway.

                  B: But who knows what Stan will do to you? Make you
                  invisible, or turn you into a human torch --

                  S: And I'll probably end up rocky and orange, like that
                  Fantastic Four character! I can hear the "Super-Thing" jokes
                  now: "The Thing of Steel," "The Thing of Tomorrow" --

                  B: "The Thing That Wouldn't Stop Whining."

                  WW: Yes, cheer up, Clark. At least you and Bruce have
                  origins that have been classics for decades. Mine has never
                  made any sense at all -- I started out a cross between a
                  dominatrix and Florence Nightingale. I pray to Athena that
                  Stan will give me an origin to be proud of!

                  S: Yeah, you could be a mutant, like in the X-Men!

                  B: Or, just as likely, the "Ex-Men."

                  S: You could be the next "She-Hulk."

                  B: There's a "She-Thing" at Marvel, too! Maybe you'd better
                  start dieting now, Diana -- you may never fit in that swimsuit
                  again!

                  WW: You boys are hopeless. Personally, I'm excited at the
                  prospect of being handled by one of the biggest men in
                  comics!

                 S: I'm not touching that one.

                  B: Me neither.

                  WW: Oh, for the love of Aphrodite! If Stan can't make the two
                  of you grow up, I'm going home to Paradise Island!

                  S: Unless he makes your home The Bronx.

                  B: Or Greenwich Village.

                  WW: As long as I don't have to wear a thong.