Title: Shattered
Series: The Aftermath Series part 1
Author: Sffan
Email: sffan2004@yahoo.ca
Websight: http://www.animeglore.com/fanfiction.php
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: Mal/Simon
Rating: NC-17
Warning: description of aftermath of rape, strong language
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine. I'm just playing with them
Notes: Thanks to: Brenda, my wonderful beta, corrupter of the last vestiges of my innocence. Any remaining spelling or grammar mistakes are mine.
Shattered
Simon regains consciousness with a muffled gasp, face pressed against the dirty mattress. He aches all over, feeling as though he's been torn in half. His pale, naked flesh is covered in bruises and bite marks, blood and semen matted in the hair on his thighs. He starts to move, then remembers where he is and freezes as the events of the previous thirty-six hours begin to replay in his mind. Unconsciously, he curls into a tight ball, legs pulled up to his chest by his arms, and begins rocking slowly back and forth, whimpering, lost in the terrible memories. He is so lost, that he does not hear the gunfire in the next room.
Mal hits the door open with his shoulder, crouching low to cover the dark room as Jayne works his way down the stairs, Vera at the ready.
"You sure he's here?" asks the mercenary, eyes trying to adjust to the light.
"He's gotta be. This is the last room in this place." Mal says with some desperation. His attention is caught by a sound in the corner. He moves quickly past Jayne towards the noise.
Simon, hearing men's voices, begins to shake and murmur in a barely audible voice, "No. No. Please, stop. Don't hurt me anymore." The movement of his mouth reopens the tear on his bottom lip where teeth had pierced the sensitive skin. Blood slowly slides down his chin.
"Simon?" Mal questions tentatively, horrified at what he sees. He moves closer. Simon scrabbles away desperately, and calls out in a voice made hoarse by too many screams, "No. No more. Stop..." The protests fade into harsh sobs. Jayne moves forward and finally sees the doctor. His eyes go dark with anger and his grip tightens on Vera, a low growl beginning in the back of his throat.
"Simon, it's me, Mal." The Captain crouches slowly next to the shivering doctor, trying not to spook him.
Simon turns his head toward the familiar voice, eyes wild. "No. It can't be you. You didn't come," he says through the tears. "It's all in my head. You're not here. You didn't come." He curls back in on himself, and begins to rock back and forth. The words cut Mal like a knife. They hadn't even noticed he was missing until the second day - everyone thought he had returned to the ship to be with his sister.
Mal takes off his long brown coat and wraps it around the shaking body. "Can you carry him?" he asks Jayne. "We've have to get him outta here."
Jayne hands Vera to the Captain and scoops the doctor up in his arms. Simon tries to fight back, but he's too weak to do much more than bat lightly at Jayne's chest with his hands.
"Shh. It's all right. I'm not gonna hurt you." Jayne says in a surprisingly gentle voice as he cradles the doctor against him. He continues making soothing noises as Mal leads them up and out of the room, through the rest of the complex, negotiating nimbly around the six dead bodies. Soon, they reach the shuttle and the relative safety of Serenity.
* * * *
Sometime during the trip back, Simon had passed out again. Jayne lowers his limp form onto the bed in the medlab as Mal searches for antiseptics and gauze. Jayne moves across the room and closes the blinds over the big windows.
When he's done with the blinds, the mercenary retreats to the door of the medlab, and leans his body against it. He pulls out his pistol and starts cleaning it - he needs to keep his eyes and mind occupied in order to keep the anger at bay.
Mal moves quietly around the bed, cleansing the wounds as gently as he can. The sight of the finger-sized bruises and teeth marks on the doctor's pale skin torments him. My fault, he thinks. Should never have let him leave the inn alone. Never mind that he told me he'd be fine. Shoulda called Serenity sooner. Shoulda known something wasn't right. As gently as he can, the Captain removes the last of the blood and semen from the doctor's bottom, inspecting the damage. It's worse than he had imagined. The orifice is torn badly and still slowly leaking blood. He does what he can, putting a healing ointment on the tears. How many times? He asks himself. He reaches out and lightly brushes the hair from Simon's forehead.
"Jayne," he says quietly, shaking with rage, "Can you go get a robe or something for him? I don't want him to wake up naked."
"Sure." Jayne says and leaves the room.
As Mal caresses the doctor's bruised face lightly, he starts twitching under Mal's hand, shaking his head back and forth whimpering the word 'No' over and over again. The Captain opens a drawer and sorts quickly through the supplies and finds what he's looking for - a sedative. He injects Simon just as the doctor starts thrashing on the bed. With a soft sigh, Simon's body relaxes and he falls into a dreamless sleep.
Jayne returns with a red silk dressing gown in his hands. Seeing the Captain's raised eyebrow, he defends his choice, "Thought it would feel, you know, soothin'. An' it won't show the blood." Together they slide the doctor into the robe.
Jayne paces around the medlab while Mal makes himself comfortable on a stool next to Simon.
"When's the ruttin' doctor getting here?" asks Jayne impatiently.
"Soon. Zoe figured about twenty minutes."
Jayne resumes pacing and Mal takes one of Simon's limp hands in both of his.
* * * *
The men just keep coming - one after another, pinching, punching, biting, squeezing, impaling him over and over, tearing and bruising his flesh, laughing the whole time. They ignore his cries, his pleas for them to stop, one of them in particular, enjoying the sound of his screams, always went last, making it hurt as much as possible.
Simon is thrashing on his bed, twisting and turning, trying to get away from the men in his head. He wakes himself up with a ragged shout. He lay there gasping staring up at the ceiling, confused. At first he doesn't recognize where he is - then he remembers - he's back on board Serenity, the Captain and Jayne had come for him. The men were dead. His body begins to tremble as he's wracked with sobs. Simon curls up on his side and cries himself back to sleep.
* * * *
The whole crew acts differently around him. No one seems to know what to say, so they all just make small talk about ridiculous things. But he doesn't know which is worse, the tears that well up in Kaylee's eyes every time she looks at his still-bruised face or the fact that Jayne's being so rutting solicitous. He can barely walk into a room without the mercenary hovering around him to see if he needs anything. Simon knows the big man is trying to be helpful in his own way, but it just makes him feel even more damaged than he already is. And the Captain is so awkward around him, so full of guilt and shame for letting him leave alone that night, that they are avoiding each other as much as possible.
Simon sits down gingerly in his seat, hissing slightly at the quick jolt of pain that flows through him, and begins to eat his lunch.
Jayne saunters in whistling a tune. "Hey," he says, moving towards the counter, "smells good. Any left?" He finds the pot and pours himself a bowl of the 'protein slop du jour'. "Need anything?"
Suppressing a sigh, Simon answers. "No Jayne, I'm fine. Just come sit down, O.K?"
Jayne sits across from the doctor and starts shoveling the food into his mouth. Watching the mercenary eat, Simon marvels at how quickly the food disappears.
"Jayne?" He asks, his curiosity getting the better of him.
"Hmm?" comes the answer around a mouthful of food.
"Do you come from a big family?"
"Yeah, twelve brothers an' sisters an' a bunch of cousins all sharin' the same farm. Why do ya ask?"
"Just curious." His suspicions confirmed, the doctor turns back to his own food.
Jayne pushes his empty bowl away and leans forward a bit. "Anyway, Doc, I was thinkin'," he says.
"Don't strain yourself," Simon quips, hoping to get Jayne to respond with an insult, trying to get things back to the way they were between them.
"Very funny. Ha, ha." Jayne says with a smile. "I was thinkin' that maybe it was time for you to start carrying a weapon."
Simon stops with the spoon halfway to his mouth. "What?" he asks incredulously.
Jayne rubs his hand across his brush cut and says, "I got this gun, Sara, practically shoots herself. She's light, but she packs quite a punch. I could give her to ya and show ya how to use her." He gets up. "You think about it. An' when you're ready, you know where to find me." Jayne leaves the galley before Simon can gather his thoughts to answer.
* * * *
They're in the cargo bay, Simon holding Sara in his right hand, testing the weapon's weight.
"Isn't she beautiful?" Jayne asks.
Simon looks down at the weapon. In a way, it is beautiful, the way the steel curves and shines, its deadly intent obvious. It fits in his hand like it was meant for him. "Do you name all your weapons, Jayne?"
"Yup. If you name 'em they mean more to ya. That way you show 'em the respect they deserve. Next time we land, I'll see if I can get get holda some ammo that Mal'll let us fire on the ship, that way you can fire her for real. For now, we'll get the basics down."
"This just feels so weird, Jayne." Simon says adjusting the gun belt around his hips with his free hand.
"You get used to it. Stop fiddlin' with it and pretend it's not there," he says. "Now show me how you hold a gun."
Simon self-consciously assumes a pose that he believes is correct.
"Well, no wonder ya didn't hit a thing on the space station," Jayne says good-naturedly. "Your stance is all wrong."
He crouches down in front of Simon and adjusts the placement of his feet on the ground. "Grips a bit off too," Jayne mumbles as he quickly moves behind the doctor and reaches around him to adjust his hands and arms.
Initially Simon enjoys the sensation of the warm body next to his, the strong arms around him - he's always been attracted to Jayne, it is what puts so much tension in their arguments - it is like pulling pigtails in grade school. Suddenly, the memories of other bodies pressing against his, biting, and scratching, and pinching and hurting him beyond endurance, come crashing down, mixing in with the slight thrill of desire Jayne's proximity has caused. Simon freezes, feeling sick, how could he want.... The memories overwhelm him, caught in the terror he begins to tremble, his eyes glazing over. The gun falls from his hand as he wraps his arms around his quivering body.
"Simon? Simon, what's wrong?" Jayne says moving around to look at him. Seeing the blank look of panic in Simon's eyes, he wants nothing more than to take him in his arms and comfort him, but he knows this would be the exact wrong thing to do right now. Jayne slowly reaches out a hand and takes Simon gently by the arm. He leads him to a bench and helps him sit down. Jayne crouches beside Simon, making himself as small and unthreatening as possible.
"Simon," he says softly. "You're safe. You're aboard Serenity. You're not in that room anymore. Don't let them bastards win. You're stronger than that." Jayne keeps up this encouragement until Simon's eyes finally focus.
"Hey, you O.K?" Jayne asks, rubbing the back of his knuckles lightly against the outside of Simon's knee.
"Oh, Jayne. I'm so sorry," Simon says, humiliated. "It just happens sometimes. I can't seem to control it."
"My fault. I shouldn't a gone behind ya like that without warning ya. It's only been a few weeks, since, since you been back." He looks at the puffy dark circles under Simon's haunted eyes and says, "Bet you're still havin' nightmares."
Simon nods.
"What say we call it quits for today, you go pull yourself together, and we'll pick up where we left off tomorrow?" Jayne says looking up into Simon's eyes.
Simon nods again. Jayne takes his hand and helps him up. Unable to resist the urge, Jayne reaches out and gently brushes the hair off Simon's forehead. "You'll be O.K. All you need is some time." The smile Simon gives him is weak, but at least he doesn't flinch from the physical contact. He turns and walks out of the cargo bay, shoulders slumped, and his head down, arms wrapped around tight around his body as if to hold himself together.
Jayne watches the doctor leave, his heart aching at seeing this once proud man curled in upon himself, defeated. He goes and fetches Sara, brings her back to the bench, and starts compulsively cleaning the weapon.
* * * *
Mal is following the sounds that echo down the corridor.
Thump. Thump. Thump, thump. Thump. Thump, thump, whack.
When he reaches the cargo bay he sees the source of the noise. Jayne is standing before a punching bag that he has somehow rigged up. Shirtless, covered in sweat, knuckles bleeding, the mercenary is pounding away at the bag, rage blazing on his face.
Mal slides down the ladder and holds the bag steady for a while, admiring the sheer power of this man. Jayne finally stops, winded, his breath coming in heavy gasps.
"How long you been at this?" Mal asks.
"Couple a hours," grunts Jayne, using his shirt to wipe the sweat and blood off himself.
"Any reason why you felt the need to beat yourself bloody?"
"I got too much anger in me right now, Mal. I gotta get it out somehow or I'll snap. Can't bring those sons a whores back to life to kill slowly, so...." Jayne says, nodding towards the bag.
"What happened?" the Captain asks perceptively.
Knowing when he was beat, Jayne answers honestly. "I was showin' the doc how to shoot a gun and I was dumb - got too close too fast. He went off into his head. I can't stand seein' him like this, Mal, all broken and lost. He needs help, help I wanna give, but..." he trails off.
"What do you mean?" Mal asks frowning slightly.
Jayne rubs at his head and face with one big hand before speaking. "Mal, they broke him, don'tcha get it?" Jayne says heatedly. "They didn't even have him tied up no more when we found him. He was too shattered to even try to escape. He needs someone to put the pieces back together and it's gonna have to be soon, or he'll never mend."
"What do you mean?" Mal's still confused, not entirely sure what the mercenary is trying to say.
"Gorramit, Mal. Do I hafta spell it out for ya? Jayne says. "He needs someone to touch him, someone that don't scare him and put him back into that dark place in his head. If he doesn't get used to human contact again soon, he's gonna stay the way he is right now, falling back into that nightmare whenever anyone comes too close to him."
"You seem to know a lot about this," Mal says, looking deep into Jayne's eyes.
"Mebbe I do." Jayne shifts his eyes away from the Captain's scrutiny, not wanting to talk about how he knows about what's needed after a man's been raped, not now, not ever. "Not important now. What's important is Simon. He needs mendin'."
"And you figure you're the one to do this?" Mal says, crossing his arms over his chest.
"I wanna be, but no. I'm too, too intimidatin'. Thought mebbe you could..."
"Me?" Mal asks in shock. "Are you insane?"
"Don't tell me you don't fancy him, Captain. 'Cause I know ya do, I seen it in your eyes. An' I seen it in his. Before all this happened that boy woulda fallen into your bed without hesitation." Jayne pokes a finger into the Captain's chest as he says this.
"It would be inappropriate..." Mal begins, distinctly uncomfortable.
"FUCK inappropriate, Mal." Jayne rudely interrupts. "Just think on it, O.K.? You got some time, it's still way too soon. Mebbe in a month or so."
"All right, but I ain't promisin' anything," Mal answers, surprised at the words he hears coming out of his mouth.
"That's all I'm askin'. "
As the Captain turns to leave, Jayne resumes punching the bag. The sound follows the Captain out of the cargo bay.
Thump. Thump. Thump, whack, thump. Thump. Thump, thump, thump.
* * * *
And Mal does think on it. He spends the next couple of weeks watching the doctor carefully. He finds reasons to go to the cargo bay so he can watch Jayne with the Doc. Watches Jayne, slowly, cautiously touch Simon here and there as he adjusts his stance. Watches them sit side by side on a bench, as Jayne discusses the finer points of weapons maintenance. Watches when Jayne finally gets some acceptable ammo and sees the smile on Simon's face when he actually hits the target for the first time. The smile pierces Mal's heart and he realizes it's the first real one since they brought the doctor back and thinks how he'd do anything to make Simon smile again. Now, he's watching Simon from the doorway - he's reading a book, his slender body curled up on the couch in the corner. It's late and everyone else has retired for the evening, so there will be no interruptions.
"Whatcha readin'?" Mal asks. Not really interested, but he needs some way to start a conversation. He moves to the couch and sits beside Simon. Simon uncurls himself and sits up next to Mal.
"Just some poetry," he shrugs, closing the book.
The Captain gently takes the book from his hands and puts it on the table. He takes one of Simon's delicate hands into his and starts to gently stroke it. Looking into Simon's eyes he tries to speak.
"I..." he can't seem to think of anything to say. He wants to say he's sorry. Sorry for letting him leave on his own, for taking so long to find him, about everything. But Mal knows that the words are hollow, that no matter how sorry he is, it can't change what happened.
"It's all right, Mal, you don't have to say anything," Simon says softly, squeezing the hand holding his. "I know. What's done is done. There was no way you could have known."
The Captain slowly reaches out with his free hand and cups Simon's face. He runs his thumb lightly across the scar on the doctor's bottom lip. The doctor's eyes go wide and Mal can feel him trembling under his hand.
"You are so beautiful," Mal says softly. "May I kiss you?"
Simon nods. Mal leans in slowly and gently brushes the lips before him with his own. He pulls back to look into Simon's eyes - checking for fear or panic and sees only longing. He leans in for a longer kiss, keeping his hand light on the doctor's face. Simon's free hand comes up and tangles in Mal's shirt. He lets Simon take charge of the kiss and soon Simon is sliding his tongue Mal's mouth. Mal moans softly and tightens his grip on Simon's hand and face. Simon freezes and Mal pulls back immediately.
"Sorry," Mal apologizes, looking worriedly into Simon's face.
"It's O.K. It was nice," he looks away a bit embarrassed. "Will you hold me for a while?" Simon asks in a small voice.
Mal opens his arms and Simon snuggles in against him, head tucked up under Mal's chin, hand on his chest. Mal wraps his arms loosely around Simon, so as not to confine him, and kisses the top of his head.
* * * *
Jayne sees them curled up together from the corridor. Suppressing the spike of jealousy, reminding himself that he's the one that recommended this, he continues on to his cabin. He's got some guns that need cleaning.
End.
Title: Mended
Series: The Aftermath Series part 2
Author: Sffan
Email: sffan2004@yahoo.ca
Websight: http://www.animeglore.com/fanfiction.php
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: Mal/Simon
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine. I'm just playing with them
Notes: Thanks to: Brenda, my wonderful beta, corrupter of the last vestiges of my innocence. Any remaining spelling or grammar mistakes are mine.
Mended
They are standing in Mal's quarters, their lips the only point of contact. As the kisses being exchanged become more and more intense, Simon reaches out and works his hand Mal's shirt. When the Simon's long, delicate fingers touch the sensitive flesh on his stomach, Mal begins the mantra in his head - slow, slow and easy, don't grab, be gentle - it's getting more and more difficult not to let himself be consumed by lust and crush the younger man in his embrace. Simon unbuttons Mal's shirt, slips it off his shoulders, and onto the floor, running his hands up and down the muscles in Mal's chest and shoulders.
Mal begins a trail of soft wet kisses across Simon's jaw and down his neck, his hands coming up to open just enough buttons on Simon's shirt so that he can lay a trail of kisses across his collarbone. Simon lays his hands flat against Mal's chest and starts running his palms across his nipples. His hands move in slow circular motions, teasing the sensitive nubs of skin into sharp points. Mal moans his desire into Simon's neck.
Mal returns to Simon's soft mouth, teasing with his lips and tongue as he undoes the rest of the buttons on Simon's shirt with trembling hands. He slides one hand behind the shirt and across Simon's back and pulls their chests together. They gasp into each other's mouths when their warm flesh meets. Simon digs his hands into Mal's back. Their kisses become more frantic, their breath coming in gasps and moans. Passion finally overtakes the Captain and he reaches down and cups a perfect, round buttock and pulls Simon against him, hard.
Immediately, Mal senses the change. Simon's posture stiffens and the hands on his back have gone still. He lets go, steps back a bit, and says, "Too much?"
Simon nods miserably. "I'm sor..." Is all he has a chance to say before Mal interrupts him.
"We've had this discussion before," he says gently, "you have nothing to be sorry about. We do this at your speed, not mine."
"I know, but it must be hard..." Simon trails off when Mal smirks and raises an eyebrow at him. Snorting back a giggle, Simon continues, "All right then...difficult, for you. All this stopping and starting. It's been *weeks*, Mal. I don't know how you put up with it."
"Don't you worry 'bout me none. I got the situation well in hand," Mal smiles devilishly and waves his right hand in the air.
"Mal!" Simon laughs. Mal laughs along with Simon and takes the time to calm his racing heart. "So," Mal looks around, a bit uncomfortable, then asks, "would you like to stay?"
"If it's O.K. with you, yes." Simon answers with a sweet smile.
"If it's..." Mal shakes his head and puts his arm around Simon's shoulders. "I would like nothing more right now than for you to stay. I was afraid you wanted to leave." He guides them to the bed, Simon removes his shirt, and they crawl in, pants still on. Mal lies on his back and Simon snuggles in close, arm draped across Mal's chest. Mal wraps his arms loosely around Simon's warm body, enjoying the feel of the silky skin next to his. They exchange a few gentle kisses and eventually drop off to sleep.
* * * *
Jayne finishes his food, pushes his bowl away and leaves the galley without a word.
"Anyone know what's up with Jayne lately? Wash asks. "He's like a bear with a sore head."
"More like a bear, whose honey's been taken," mutters Kaylee as she gets up to follow the mercenary.
Wash's confused "Wha..?" is the last thing she hears as she hurries down the passageway to catch up with Jayne. When she reaches him, she takes him by the arm. He stops to look down at her.
"Hey, you look like you could use some company," she says, pulling his arm against the soft, warm curve of her breast.
Jayne rescues his arm and scowls at the mechanic.
"Kaylee, I ain't in no mood to be fooled with," he growls.
"How about fooled *around* with?" she asks, recapturing his arm. "Looks like we could both use some fun."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Well, it's obvious that what's goin' on between the Captain and Simon is buggin' ya. You been even ruder than usual."
"What about you? You was chasin' him pretty hard for a while yourself," Jayne counters.
"True. I thought he were like you an' Mal, only kinda shy around girls. Took me some time to realize I ain't got what he wants." She shrugs. "No big deal. So anyway, I figured we could help each other out a bit."
"Kaylee," Jayne says reasonably, "if I laid so much as a hand on you, Mal'd space me fer sure. He made it very clear when I came aboard Serenity that you were off limits. Why d'ya think I never tried nothin'? Not like ya ain't a pretty little thing."
"Jayne, do you recall the story of how I, ahem, *came* aboard?" Kaylee asks, a wicked look in her eyes.
Returning the look, Jayne replies, "Not a story a body forgets."
"Then what makes you think I've ever let anyone tell me who I can and can't fuck? Captain ain't got the right to stop me from havin' a bit of fun, long as it don't interfere with the runnin' of this ship. So...what do you say big guy, wanna go for a tumble?" Kaylee says, running her hand up his chest, looking expectantly up into his eyes.
"Shit, I can't believe I'm sayin' this," Jayne mumbles, rubbing his head with a hand. "Kaylee, I can't, not right now. I'd just be usin' ya. I've used a lot of women in my life, but I don't wanna use a friend." He takes her hand from his chest and gives it a light squeeze. "But if you're willin' to keep that offer open, mebbe I'll take you up on it someday." With that, Jayne frees himself from Kaylee's other arm and walks away.
"Gorramit," Kaylee mutters, "What's a girl got to do to get laid around here? Get naked and spread herself on the kitchen table?" She turns to go back to the galley and sees Shephard Book coming out of it, with a slightly shocked look on his face. "Oh, hey, preacher man." She walks quickly past him, flushing with embarrassment.
* * * *
It's the first time Simon's been off ship in three months - the sunlight feels good against his face. He takes deep breaths, appreciating the fresh air in his lungs. He adjusts the gun belt around his hips, still not entirely comfortable with it, and tries to imitate Jayne's easy walk.
"Don't buy up the whole town," Mal calls after Inara, River, and Kaylee as they head towards the shops. "Be back in two hours or we're leavin' without ya." Inara turns and rolls her eyes at him, knowing he won't make good on the threat.
Simon notices that River and Kaylee are holding hands. With a pang of guilt, he realizes that he's been so wrapped up in his own problems lately that he hasn't spent much time with his sister. As he watches them walk away, he wonders when they became so close. River usually didn't like being touched.
"Do you think Book is going to find those old monastic ruins?" Wash asks.
"Dunno, an' don't rightly care," answers Mal, "So long as he's back in time for lift-off."
When they enter the bar, Zoe, Wash, and the Captain make their way over to a corner table to wait for Mal's contact. As Simon looks around the crowded bar, he stops dead in his tracks, Jayne at his side, at the sight of a man who reminds him of one of his attackers.
"You all right?" Jayne asks quietly.
Reminding himself that the men who hurt him are dead, Simon pushes away the sense of panic, and starts walking again. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"You sure? We can go back to the ship if you want."
"I'm sure," Simon states firmly.
"In that case, wanna beer?" Jayne asks nodding towards the bar.
Simon nods and they make their way to the counter. Jayne orders the drinks and when they get them, the two men turn to look out over the crowd. The mercenary relaxes against the counter, one arm draped along the surface, behind Simon's back. The strength and warmth of Jayne's arm against his shoulders as he leans back against the bar gives Simon an unexpected sense of security. He finds it hard to believe how at ease he feels in the big man's presence.
Simon looks over to the table where the Captain and the others are chatting, and is stunned by the wave of desire that flows through him when he catches sight of Mal. Simon can feel the flush working its way up his face and he shifts uncomfortably at the increasing tightness of his pants. Jayne notices the change in the doctor's posture and follows the path of his gaze. He leans down so that he can whisper into the doctor's ear.
"Captain's looking mighty fine today, dontcha think?" Jayne says jovially. "He's wearing his tight pants. Too bad he's sittin' down." Jayne's breath on his ear and neck sends a wave of delicious chills down Simon's spine. He puts his beer down on the bar top before he drops it.
"Jayne, have you and Mal ever..." Simon trails off.
"Fucked?" Jayne answers crudely. "Naa. I offered a time or two, but he just kept sayin' it was inappropriate. Then you came on board and that was the end of that."
Jayne nods towards the wall, "Hey, dartboard's free. Wanna play? It'll kill time."
"Sure, why not," Simon says with a shrug and they move to the board.
The next hour passes excruciatingly slowly for Simon. Every time he looks at the Captain he feels a stab of desire, some strong enough to leave him nearly breathless, but he can't stop himself from looking - the distraction makes him make several bad throws.
"If I'da known you were so bad at this, I'da put money on it," Jayne jokes as he wins another game. "Looks like I'm gonna hafta give ya dart lessons too."
Out of the corner of his eye, Simon sees that Mal has finally met with his contact. He touches Jayne's arm and nods towards the group.
"Looks like it's time to go."
Mal quickly concludes the deal and they leave the bar. On the walk back to the ship, Simon is nearly crawling out of his skin. They are barely inside Serenity when he takes the Captain by the hand and starts pulling him toward the door to the rest of the ship.
"We goin' somewhere?" Mal asks, smile on his face.
"Your bunk."
"Now?" Mal says incredulously.
"Now," Simon states firmly.
Simon drags the Captain towards his quarters and practically shoves him down the ladder.
"Simon, wha..." is as far as Mal gets before Simon is crushing his lips to his. Simon's tongue darts into his mouth and starts exploring while his hands start unbuttoning his shirt. Shocked into inaction by the doctor's passion, Mal just stands there, barely returning the kiss, dumbfounded.
"Mal," Simon whispers, "touch me. I want you to touch me."
"Where?" he can't stop himself from asking.
"Everywhere."
Mal's hands come around and cup the doctor's bottom. Simon moans and pulls Mal tight against him. Their kisses become deeper, longer, and more frenzied. Mal unbuttons Simon's vest and shirt and peels them off in one quick motion. Simon pushes Mal's shirt off his shoulders and onto the floor and then starts to walk them backwards to the bed.
Simon runs his tongue across Mal's jaw, down his throat and chest to a nipple. He teases it gently with his tongue and then begins to suck, slowly. Mal's back arches and he gasps. He tangles a hand in Simon's thick dark hair, lightly holding him there. Simon kisses his way back up to Mal's mouth while running his hands down Mal's stomach to reach for his pants. He quickly undoes them and begins to slide them down his hips. Mal reaches for Simon's belt and unbuckles it. Soon, the rest of their clothes are in a pile at the foot of the bed.
Simon takes Mal by the hand and pulls him onto the bed with him. They lie on their sides, arms wrapped tight around each other, with their legs entwined, kissing wildly, barely in control. Simon creates some space between them, looks deep into Mal's eyes, and then reaches down to Mal's throbbing erection. He gently brushes the back of his fingers against it - Mal jerks and moans softly. Simon takes the cock in his hand and slowly runs his fingers up it to the head, where he makes slow circles with his thumb. Mal's breathing becomes erratic, his hand on Simon's hip gripping and releasing. Reaching out, Simon takes the hand from his hip and places it on his own hard-on. When Mal strokes it lightly, Simon arches his back into his hand and moans deep in his throat.
As their lips meet again, they begin to stroke each other in unison - keeping the same rhythm. Soon they're completely out of control, both of them writhing and twitching, moaning each other's names. Simon comes first, crying out loudly with the intensity of his orgasm. Moments later, Mal stiffens and groans, spurting hot semen to mix with Simon's on their stomachs.
Reluctant to let each other go, even to clean up, they nestle close into each other. Simon, still trembling with the aftershocks of his climax, tucks his head up under Mal's chin and wraps his arms tightly around him, rubbing his face against the warm, sweat drenched chest. As they drift off to sleep, firm in each other's embrace, he wonders if next time he'll be able to offer more.
* * * *
The smile on Jayne's face is bittersweet as he peels himself away from the shadows by the Captain's door. He pushes away the feeling of sadness that comes from knowing that he will never be the one to cause the doctor to cry out in such pleasure, and makes himself take comfort in the fact that what was once shattered is now on it's way to being mended.
End.
Title: Decisions
Series: The Aftermath Series part 3
Author: Sffan
Email: sffan2004@yahoo.ca
Websight: http://www.animeglore.com/fanfiction.php
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: Simon/Jayne
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Sexually explicit
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine. I'm just playing with them
Notes: Thanks to N. - parts of this fic were written for her as an epilogue for Mended. I have expanded it into it's own story.
Not beta-ed. Thought I'd give Brenda a break so she can write her own stuff.
Decisions
Simon is in the medlab, organizing supplies when he hears River's voice from the doorway - she still won't enter the room unless absolutely necessary.
"He watches, listens. Hiding in the shadows, he swallows regret."
Simon turns and looks at his sister. "What are you talking about?"
"Big man. Swallows desire, holds it all in tight. Keeps the hurt from showing," she says cryptically, then flits away from the door. Simon stands there puzzling over his sister's words.
* * * *
Jayne is stretched out on his bunk, fully clothed, boots on the floor. He's just beginning to doze off when he hears the faint knock at the door.
"What?" he asks grumpily, thinking it's Mal coming to discuss their next job. He's surprised when he sees Simon's shoes coming down the ladder. He props himself up on his elbows genuinely puzzled to see the doctor in his room.
"Hey Doc, what can I do for ya?" he asks.
Instead of answering, Simon walks across the tiny room and sits down next to Jayne on the bed, facing him. His hip pressed against Jayne's side, the doctor places his hand on the far side of the bed, keeping Jayne in his current position. Shocked into inaction, Jayne doesn't try to sit up any further.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Simon asks, looking deep into Jayne's eyes. "Why did I have to hear it from River?"
"What? Hear what? Tell you what? What's she babblin' about now?" Jayne asks, totally confused.
Simon leans in closer and says again, voice full of emotion, "Why didn't you tell me? It could have been you - maybe, maybe SHOULD have been you."
Sudden realization dawns on Jayne, he looks away from the doctor's searing gaze, and says, "No, it's better this way."
"Why?" Simon puts his free hand on Jayne's face, "Jayne, look at me and tell me why it's better this way. Why it couldn't have been you."
Jayne is overwhelmed by the doctor's closeness - the hand on his face and the hip against his side sending trails of hot desire through him. When he looks into Simon's eyes he blurts out, "'Cause I want ya too much. I wouldn't be able to go slow, wouldn't be able to stop."
Simon leans in, licking Jayne's lips between his words, and says huskily, "Show me. Show me how much you want me."
Jayne growls low and deep in his throat. Lust burning through him, he snakes one hand up Simon's back tangling his fingers in the soft, dark hair, his other hand going down to grab the doctor's bottom in a firm grip. In one quick motion, Jayne flips them over, and covers the doctor's body with his. Jayne tightens his hold, crushing Simon against him. Simon can feel Jayne's already steel hard cock pressing against his thigh. When the mercenary's mouth comes down over his, it's like an assault. He sucks hard on Simon's bottom lip until the soft mouth opens and then plunges his tongue deep inside, tasting every inch of it.
The ferocity of Jayne's passion initially frightens Simon, but his own desire for the man lying on him soon overwhelms him and he wraps his arms tightly around the bigger man. Moaning into Jayne's mouth, Simon pulls the mercenary's shirt up out of his pants. Jayne rears back, balancing on a knee, pulls the shirt off, and throws it across the room. Simon runs his hands up and down Jayne's bare chest, tugging lightly at the hair he finds there, and teasing the nipples with delicate hands.
Jayne reaches down and pulls Simon's sweater off, tossing it over his shoulder. Reaching down, he brushes a thumb against the kiss-swollen lips, working it between them to run the edge of it against the doctor's teeth. When Simon darts his tongue out to lick the digit, Jayne moans and pulls him up against him with one arm, his other hand moving down to unbutton the Simon's pants. As he slides the pants down and lowers Simon back to the bed, he runs his hand against the doctor's erection, making him moan. Soon the doctor's pants join the other clothes on the floor. Sitting up, Simon helps Jayne remove the rest of his clothes and then pulls him back down on top of him. Simon starts to move, rubbing their hard-ons against each other's bodies. The silkiness of Simon's skin is intoxicating to Jayne. His heart is beating like a trip-hammer and his pulse roars in his ears. He buries his face in Simon's neck, inhaling the doctor's scent deeply.
Jayne starts to slide down the doctor's body, his tongue leaving a warm wet trail behind, his beard scratching lightly at Simon's porcelain skin, leaving faint red marks. His hands alternately rub and lightly pinch Simon's nipples as he licks his way down the doctor's body. The hands on his body are rough, but skilled and soon Simon's breath is coming in short, hard hitches, and his own hands are twisting in the bedcovers. Jayne runs the tip of his tongue up the length of Simon's cock, making it twitch. When he reaches the top, he laps teasingly at the head, licking up the pre-come. He continues teasing in this fashion until the doctor is writhing on the bed, hips thrusting involuntarily, and he's whimpering with desire. Jayne takes the swollen member in his mouth and slides down it slowly, pressing it against the roof of his mouth with his tongue. When it touches the back of his throat, Jayne begins to suck, hard. Simon comes almost immediately, the force of the orgasm bucking his hips off the bed. Jayne keeps his mouth on the doctor's cock until it is completely soft, then kisses his way back up to the panting mouth.
While holding the still quivering body, Jayne reaches under the bed for the tube of lubricant he keeps there. He turns them on their sides and pulls Simon's leg over his hip. The brush of Simon's soft skin against his throbbing erection makes Jayne gasp. He coats his fingers liberally with the lube and reaches around to Simon's tight opening. Even gripped in lust, Jayne is gentle, knowing that he could seriously hurt the doctor. Running a trail of hot, moist kisses along Simon's neck and shoulder, Jayne massages the opening and slowly inserts a finger. Simon gasps hard, arching into the hand on his bottom. The sensation makes him squirm with desire.
Jayne inserts a second finger, and slowly starts to move them in and out. He can feel the scar tissue and it shakes him out of his mindless desire long enough to ask softly, "Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you."
"Ooh, Jayne," Simon moans breathlessly, "Yes, I'm sure. I want you in me. Don't make me beg."
Jayne rolls them over and lifts the Simon's legs up onto his shoulders. He coats himself with a generous handful of lubricant and leans forward and slowly slides into Simon. Feeling the warm body under him open and contract around his cock is almost too much for him, and he stops, savouring the feel of the warm cavity enveloping him. Jayne leans forward, propping himself up on his elbows and kisses Simon deeply. Jayne begins to thrust. His strokes are long and deep, brushing Simon's prostate with each pass. Simon digs his hands into the muscles in Jayne's back, groaning with passion, and begins to rock his hips into the motion.
"Harder," Simon orders, his voice deep with lust. "Nail me to the bed."
The hunger in Simon's voice, combined with his rocking motion, send Jayne over the edge of control - he rears up onto his knees and grips Simon's hips in his hands. He begins plunging into the warm body beneath him, hammering harder and harder, the doctor's soft cries and moans encouraging him to go faster and deeper. With one last hard thrust, Jayne stiffens and comes hard, his whole body jerking. Twitching with after shocks, no longer able to hold up his own weight, he collapses onto the body beneath him.
He slides gently out of Simon and brings the doctor's legs down off his shoulders. Simon wraps himself tightly around Jayne's body, pressing in as tightly as he can, body still trembling with desire. Jayne starts to roll them over onto their sides, but Simon stops him.
"No, I want to stay like this. I like the weight of you on me." He cups Jayne's head and pulls him in for a long, slow, wet kiss. Jayne shifts a bit so that he's not completely crushing the air out of Simon and rests his head on the smaller man's shoulder. He looks down and notices that the doctor is beginning to stiffen again. Jayne reaches down and slowly trails his fingers up and down the length of Simon's cock, making the doctor gasp and twitch. When it reaches its full length, Jayne encircles the erection with his hand and begins to stroke. He takes his time, altering his rhythms in order to bring Simon closer and closer to the edge, but never quite there. When Simon begins to moan his name over and over, back arched, head back, and hips thrusting, Jayne finally finishes him off. Simon's cry as he comes is silent - he has no breath left. Warm come spurts all over Jayne's hand and onto Simon's stomach. Jayne cleans the mess up with his tongue and then snuggles back into his position against Simon's shoulder. Exhausted, the younger man has fallen asleep. As he reaches about to wrap the blankets around them, Jayne wonders what the hell he's going to say to Mal.
* * * *
The two battered and bloody men sit side by side on the floor of the cargo bay. Mal knows that the only reason why he's still conscious is that Jayne was holding back his punches, mostly just defending himself. Nevertheless, Mal is cradling his left side, certain that a few ribs are bruised, if not broken.
Jayne gently prods the swollen flesh around his right eye with a finger. "The eye, Mal?" He complains. "Why'd ya hafta hit me in the eye?
"Seemed like the thing to do," Mal replies, tersely, and rubs at a bruised jaw.
"Yeah, but the EYE?" Jayne demands. "Ya coulda blinded me."
They sit in a somewhat uncomfortable silence, cradling their injuries. Jayne spits a mouthful of blood onto the deck. "Mal," he says softly, "he came to me. I didn't go chasin' him. He came to my room."
"You coulda sent him away," comes the short reply.
"Would you?" Jayne asks.
After a short pause, Mal answers. "No."
They fall into silence once again. Mal snorts.
"Shit, look at us. Fightin' over him like a couple of school boys." His voice goes higher, "You stole my boyfriend..." he snorts again, shaking his head.
Jayne laughs quietly along with him and then says, "So... what are we gonna do about it?"
"Don't think it's us that makes this decision. He's gonna have to pick." Mal says.
Jayne looks down at his hands, anywhere but at Mal, when he asks, "What if he won't pick? You willin' to share?"
Mal looks sidelong at Jayne. "Are you?"
"I'll take anything he's willin' to give me," Jayne says in a soft voice.
"Me too," responds Mal.
The silence falls again.
"Reckon we've put off the inevitable long enough. Let's get ourselves to the medlab an' get fixed up. My ribs are killin' me. I think ya mighta broke a couple."
Jayne stands and helps Mal to his feet and they head to the medlab, trepidation dogging their echoing footsteps.
* * * *
Simon is in the infirmary, his mind a chaotic mess. He's wracked with feelings of guilt and confusion, but at the same time, feels absolutely no regret about going to Jayne. He doesn't know what to do. He loves them both - he can admit that to himself now. The two men are so different - Mal with his quick wit and hidden depths of character, Jayne with his overwhelming strength and masculinity - each fill a void in his soul. Mal treats him like spun glass, soft and gentle, and he needed that, needed it so much, needs it still. But Jayne - he makes Simon's body sing like it has never sung before. Just thinking about the previous night makes him tremble with desire.
As if he conjured them with his thoughts, Simon hears heavy footsteps behind him and turns to see the Captain and Jayne hobbling into the medlab. Taking note of their injuries, he hands Jayne an ice pack for his eye and then gestures Mal up onto the examining table. He helps Mal out of his shirt and examines his ribs.
"Just bruised. I'll wrap them up, and you should be good as new in about a week." Simon gets the bandages and starts winding them around Mal's ribs. "What happ..." he trails off, looking back and forth between them, realizing what must have been the cause of the damage he sees.
"Way we see it Doc," Mal drawls, "You gotta decision to make. 'Cause we can't keep beatin' on each other over you, my ribs can't take it."
Simon is stunned to silence, shocked by the matter-of-factness of the statement. He stands there in confusion, the two men seem to have come to some sort of truce - he senses no anger coming from either of them. Simon looks into their eyes, seeing in each the need for him to choose, to make this decision, to pick one over the other. Simon tries to speak, but can't, his mouth opening and closing, his hands fluttering uselessly at his sides. He can't make this choice, he just can't, he doesn't want to choose, he wants them both, needs them both.
It's Jayne that finally puts him out of his misery. "'Course, no one says it's gotta be me OR him," he flips a thumb in Mal's direction. "It could be me AN' him. If ya like."
"Really?" Simon asks hesitantly.
They both nod.
Simon smiles widely and says, "I like."
End.
Title: Sharing
Series: The Aftermath Series part 4
Author: Sffan
Email: sffan2004@yahoo.ca
Websight: http://www.animeglore.com/fanfiction.php
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: Simon/Mal/Jayne
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Sexually explicit
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine. I'm just playing with them
Notes: Thanks to: Brenda, my wonderful beta, corrupter of the last vestiges of my innocence. Any remaining spelling or grammar mistakes are mine.
Inspired by that song "Your Body's a Wonderland," by John Mayer. Every damn time I hear the lyrics "If you want love, we'll make it. Swim in a deep sea of blankets. Your body is a wonderland." I see Simon, all flushed and panting, writhing on a bed while Mal or Jayne or Mal and Jayne do unspeakably naughty things to him - so here is the result.
Sharing
It's Simon's birthday and he's trying to negotiate a flight of stairs with his eyes covered by Jayne's big, warm hands. His arms are wrapped tightly around Mal's middle and the two men herd him up the stairs, giggling like schoolboys. When they reach their room, Mal opens the door and Jayne ushers Simon in.
"Ready?" Jayne asks.
Simon nods.
Jayne pulls back his hands and he and Mal both call out, "Surprise!"
Simon's eyes widen in amazement. The room is stunning. There's a big four-poster bed covered in rich, thick blankets, surrounded by what seems like millions of candles. On the table is a bottle of champagne and - Simon can barely believe his eyes - chocolate covered strawberries. He gapes at the two men.
"This must have cost a fortune," he says in wonderment.
"You're worth it," Mal says softly, gently massaging Simon's shoulders as Jayne brings him a glass of champagne and a strawberry, a big grin on his face.
* * * *
Simon is lost in a sea of blankets, riding the waves of fire coursing through his body as Mal and Jayne lap at his nipples. Each man has a different, but equally effective technique. Mal's tongue is soft and wet, barely brushing the hardened nub of flesh, over and over again while Jayne is more aggressive - he deliberately rubs his whiskers across the nipple and then licks firmly, twirling his tongue around and around, grazing it occasionally with his teeth. Simon's body is their playground and they can play like this for hours, practically competing to see who can make him squirm the most or moan the loudest.
Mal slides slowly down Simon's body, trailing soft butterfly kisses down his ribs to the smooth, sensitive skin on his hip and begins to suck. Ever since Jayne joined them, Mal leaves a mark somewhere on Simon's body every time they make love - each time in a different spot. Jayne's hand replaces Mal's mouth and he rolls and gently pinches one nipple between his fingers and starts to suck on the other with a demanding mouth. Simon's body is vibrating so hard he's almost spasming, his hands twisting tightly in the sheets - and they have only just begun. They have incredible control. As they move around his body, Simon can feel how hard they are, but somehow Mal and Jayne can always delay their own gratification until after they have finished twisting him into a pretzel.
Jayne drags his beard across Simon's chest, leaving red marks on the ivory flesh. He licks Simon's lips and then sucks the bottom one into his mouth, running the tip of his tongue over and over it as Simon's head arches back. Simon wraps his arms around Jayne and he digs his hands into the strong back. Putting a hand under Simon's head, Jayne pulls Simon into a kiss. Their tongues meet and begin to weave around each other, stroking and tasting.
Mal finishes the hickey and then starts to lightly kiss Simon's cock, flicking the shaft with his tongue as he moves up it. When he reaches the head, he laps gently at the pre-come and then sucks at the slit to draw out more. Simon gasps into Jayne's mouth and his back arches.
Jayne works his way down Simon's body, nibbling at the flesh, making a few marks of his own, and licking up the sweat slicking the porcelain skin. When Jayne reaches Simon's cock, Mal begins to slowly fondle Simon's balls. Jayne licks the whole length of the organ with a strong tongue and then slips just the head into his warm wet mouth. He sucks gently, probing the slit with his tongue. Simon's hips buck; the only thing keeping his ass on the bed is the weight of the two men.
Mal and Jayne are two men with a single purpose - make Simon come so hard he hits himself in the face. He made it to the middle of his chest once. They took it as a challenge.
As Jayne slides Simon's cock deeper into his mouth and down his throat, Mal sucks on two of his fingers and then reaches around, under Simon's ass and gently inserts them into the tight opening. He moves them around and around and then begins to slide them in and out. Jayne starts to suck, applying pressure with his tongue, and humming in the back of his throat, sending vibrations down to Simon's balls. Simon's vision begins to blacken as he hyperventilates - he has to make himself take deep breaths, he doesn't want to pass out - again.
When Jayne senses Simon is about to orgasm, he releases Simon's cock from his mouth and lets him come all over his chest.
"Collarbone," Jayne says to Mal and they share a smirk as the aftershocks work their way through Simon's body. Mal removes his fingers and he and Jayne lick their way up Simon's body, cleaning up the come. When they reach the middle of his chest, their tongues brush, their eyes meet with the force of an electric bolt, and Jayne pulls Mal into a deep, wet, exploratory kiss. Their actions pull Simon out of his delirium - this is new - in all the months since they had agreed to share him, they had never touched each other, not like this.
Simon is intrigued. He wants to watch this, so he tilts his head forward. His movement alerts them, and they stop.
"No, please, don't stop," Simon says, his eyes dark with lust.
Mal and Jayne look at each other and within seconds their lips lock. Simon slides down the bed and he grips their rock-hard cocks in each of his hands as the two men grapple for control of the kiss. He shows them no mercy, as they had shown him none. Simon teases and torments them as much as he can until they come - Jayne first with a muffled curse, then Mal with a deep moan that gets lost in Jayne's mouth.
Mal and Jayne keep kissing - long, slow, deep kisses. They break apart and their mouths travel down each other's necks, tasting. Simon watches as Mal and Jayne begin to explore each other's bodies with greedy hands, lips, and tongues.
"Now I'm feeling left out," Simon says with a mock pout.
Mal looks over at him. "Poor baby," Mal says and then captures Simon's mouth in a deep wet kiss as Jayne continues to nibble at his neck, sending shivers of delight down Mal's spine.
* * * *
The three men leave the inn the next morning, drained and exhausted, having shared every inch of each other - over and over.
End.
