When I was just a young lad, and learning my ABC's and 123's, my mother thought it a good idea to also teach me to tell time. She purchased for me a wonderful Mickey Mouse watch. It was loads of fun to watch Mickey wave at me in slow motion. One evening shortly after I was presented with my new watch, my family and I went to a neighborhood bar-b-q. I was asked by one of my parents friends what time it was. Proud of my new skill, I answered right away, and with no help. I said "Both of Mickey's hands are on his penis." After we got home that night, my new watch was taken away, and I was never taught another thing about time.