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Step 1 - Go buy a turkey and a bottle of whiskey
Step 2 - Take a large drink of the whiskey
Step 3 - Put the turkey in the oven
Step 4 - Take two more drinks of whiskey
Step 5 - Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6 - Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7 - Turn oven the on
Step 8 - Whiskey off the bottle of finish
Step 9 - Turk the bastey
Step 10 - Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11 - Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12 - Shot yourself a getsky of whisk
Step 13 - Bake the whiskey 4 for hours
Step 14 - Drink the continual whiskeying
Step 15 - Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 16 - Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 17 - Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Step 18 - Whiskey of drink big a take and out pass
At this point in the recipe, I no longer know what comes next. The next morning I usually find a group of pizza boxes on the counter and a half burnt, half frozen turkey in the trash. By the time my family consents to taking my phone calls again, I have forgotten to ask. Anyway, the holiday seems to work out O.K. for me.