MSTer's notes: Well, here it is, the first part of the infamous “My Inner Life” MST.  Wow, this was painful, and it’s only the beginning!  Hope you guys appreciate this... it's gonna be tough work.

 

Disclaimer: Zelda and all associated characters are the property of Nintendo. MST3K and all associated concepts belong to Best Brains Inc. Etienne, Jesse, and Genocide belong to me, Dissolved Girl. And finally, "My Inner Life" belongs to Link's Queen, and she's welcome to it. ;) No offense is meant by this MSTing... just consider it a slightly cynical form of C&C.

 

 

***********************************************************************

 

<In Genocide's basement...>

 

(The sound of rummaging can be heard, and random things are being tossed over Genocide's shoulder as he digs through some boxes)

 

GENOCIDE: (shouting) Hey! Hey, guys! C'mere! I think I found some sort of biochemical weapons!

(Pause)

GENOCIDE: ...Or maybe just some old cheesies.

 

(A young woman comes down the stairs, carrying an empty box.)

 

WOMAN: *blinks and sets the box off to the side* Uhh... Genocide? I think your, uh, bio... things are moving...

 

(Genocide looks over his shoulder.  Sure enough, the moldy green objects are inching away.)

 

GENOCIDE: Huh... well, that can't be good.

WOMAN: -_-;

GENOCIDE: Hey, Etienne... where's Jesse?

WOMAN (ETIENNE): *shrugs* Dunno, I think he's upstairs somewhere.

 

(The sound of footsteps is heard, and a man comes down the stairs.)

 

MAN: (flatly) Remind me again why we're helping you move?

GENOCIDE: *turns around, grinning cheerfully* 'Cuz you guys love me!

MAN: ....-_-

ETIENNE: Hey Jesse, did you make sure the door was propped open still?

MAN (JESSE): Huh?

 

(Long pause)

 

GENOCIDE: You... didn't shut the door, did you?

 

(Silence)

 

GENOCIDE: Right??

JESSE: Ummmm...

 

(ETIENNE runs up the stairs.  There is a long silence, then...)

 

ETIENNE: AHHHHH!!!! *pounds on the door* We're locked in!!!

GENOCIDE: -_- I KNEW I should've fixed that door...

JESSE: ...Oops.

 

(ETIENNE comes back and sits on the bottom step)

 

ETIENNE: *dejectedly* What do we do now??

GENOCIDE: *peering around the room* Hmmm... hey, I've got a box full of fanfics here somewhere.  We could pass the time by reading those... Dee and Mac are due to show up sometime soon. They'll let us out! ^_^

 

(Everyone shrugs, and decides to check out the fics. They drag the box over to the steps and sit down...)

 

JESSE: *pulling one out, reads the title* "My Inner Life"...?

GENOCIDE: ...Uh oh... this isn't good...

JESSE: What?

GENOCIDE: ...I've heard about this one, guys... it's gonna go down hard...

JESSE: What do you mean?

ETIENNE: (hushed tone) It's by... Link's Queen aka Jenna. *shivers* The ultimate Mary Sue of the Zelda fandom...

JESSE: ...Damn. I wish I still had my .44 here.

GENOCIDE: Me too, man... -_-;

 

(They begin to read, and the true torture begins!)

 

 

>>Author's notes:

>>Hello. Thanks for choosing to read my story.

 

Etienne: Hello, and thanks for choosing Mary Sue Airlines! Please enjoy our in-flight movie, "My Inner Life", complete with self inserts and plot holes the size of Texas!

 

>>As you might know I have become a major Zelda fan in the last year. >>Ever since I played OoT

 

Jesse: OoT? What the hell is that? Sounds like some kind of deranged noise.

Genocide: The sound of a thousand fan girls writing a thousand self insert lemons...

 

>>I have grown a fond interest in Link.

 

Etienne: As opposed to growing an un-fond interest?

Genocide: You know, I found something growing in the back of my fridge not too long ago...

Etienne: Ew... why am I not surprised?

 

>>I started to notice that after I got really into it, I found that I >>have a strange gift. A gift to

 

Jesse: Write bad Mary Sue fics? Yeah, we heard...

 

>>Lucid Dream.

 

All: ...Huh??

 

>>I started having dreams about Hyrule, and about Link.

 

Etienne: I... don't like the looks of this...

 

>>In a Lucid Dream you can control your dreams. The dreams became very >>real, kinda like a second life,

 

Genocide: Ooookay.

Jesse: ...I think she needs to see a shrink. She's already sounding a little... off.

 

>>and almost every night I would have another. Starting from where the >>last left off. Even to this day I still have them. I find that they >>help me get through life.

 

Etienne: They also helped her master the art of choppy sentences! *rim shot*

 

>>I know this may sound queer,

 

Genocide: *opens his mouth* Well--

Jesse: No gay jokes.

Genocide: Aw, fine... spoil my fun.

 

>>but for me the dreams sure help me out. I have shared this story with >>many other people and so far all has liked it.

 

Etienne: She showed it to her imaginary friends and stuffed animals.

Jesse: ...They should've told her it sucked.

 

>>Now as you read this it is told from my perspective or first person >>view.

 

Jesse: Let the pain begin...

Genocide: Good CHRIST! Are these author notes ever gonna end!?

 

>>You will find that it is very detailed since I remember it all very >>clearly to this day. The story takes place after OoT. Nothing after >>that ever happens.

 

Jesse: That's right, nothing. And certainly not this story.

Genocide: If only...

 

>>No Majora's Mask.

 

Etienne: (Soup Nazi voice) No Mask for you!

 

>>No LttP,

 

Genocide: Little teeny tiny People?

Jesse: Lovely tacky tree Painters?

Etienne: Lavender table tapping Pansies??

 

>>or even Oracle of Ages and Seasons. And there is no love relation >>between Link and Zelda,

 

Genocide: Yeah... let's just IGNORE all the canon stuff from the games!!

Etienne: Bitter much?

Genocide: ...Yes.

 

>>Link and Ruto,

 

Jesse: Wouldn't that be bestiality?

(collective shudder)

 

>>Link and Malon

 

Genocide: *pouts* No cute little redhead?

Etienne: O_o;

Genocide: What?? I like Malon!

 

>>or Link and Saria.

 

Etienne: Well that would just be gross! She's like, seven!!

Jesse: At least Link won't be a pedophile in this.

Genocide: Guess we should be thankful for small favors!

 

>>Because of my feelings about Link, the person that he gets involved >>with in this story is myself

 

All: .........

Genocide: ...*latches onto Etienne* Mary Sues! Noooo!! Save me!!

Etienne: O_O; Er.... *pries him off with a crowbar*

 

>>or actually is my persona. A persona is for those of you who need to >>know, a representation of ones personality,

 

Jesse: *rolls his eyes* Don't insult us; we know what a persona is!

Genocide: Yeah!! ...It's a game, right?? Persona??

Etienne: ....-_-;

 

>>or in dictionary terms is, (Persona) n. In biology, same as person.

 

Etienne: Heyyy... that doesn't explain the kind of persona she's talking about...

Jesse: So, what she's telling us is that this story is from the POV of "person"...

Genocide: (suspicious) ...Is this fanfic dubbed??

 

>>So for all you future readers, this story is based on Jenna, a char >>that is a representation of my personality.

 

Jesse: We get the point already!!!

 

>>But if you think this might be too queer

 

Genocide: *grins* Oh, it's way too--MMPH!!!

Jesse: *covering Genocide's mouth* Do you not understand the meaning of the word NO??

Genocide: *glowers*

 

>>then you shouldn't read this.

 

All: Sounds good to us!!

 

>>THIS IS NOT THE TYPE OF STORY FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT DISLIKE, OR >>CANNOT HANDLE SUCH MATERAL AS THE CONTEXT OF THIS STORY.

 

Etienne: Well... duh. That makes sense.

Jesse: Cherish this moment, kid... I've got a feeling it'll be the ONLY thing that makes sense in this fic.

 

>>But if you seriously believe you can handle the content of this >>story, then read on. If your squeamish about sex, then you

>>should not read this, since this story is a REAL LEMON

 

Jesse: Made from concentrate!

Genocide: One-hundred percent real lemon!

Etienne: Freshly squeezed!

 

>>and there is a lot of that, heavily detailed.

 

Etienne: Heavily detailed lemons?

 

>>(Between Link and I that is)

 

Etienne: Link and the author are sharing lemons??

Genocide: Talk about fruity! *ducks before Jesse can whack him*

 

>>Especially during the bonding ceremony.

 

Jesse: That sounds kinky.

Genocide: Oooh, I like it already. ^_^

Jesse: ...You disturb me.

Genocide: *grins* What can I say? I try my best!

 

>>There is also some blood content and strong adult language.

 

Etienne: What, no baby talk?

 

>>So if that's too much then you should turn back now.

 

Genocide: If only we could, fic... if only we could.

 

>>Now I have not finished it as of yet.

 

Jesse: It just keeps going and going and going...

 

>>I have to catch up, since the last dream I had was just after Link >>and I had the blessing ceremony for our twins.(Our 3rd and 4th kids)

 

Genocide: Whoa! Someone's been busy!

 

>>Right now there is about 100-150 pgs worth.

 

All: Ahh!

 

>>I'm expecting it to reach at least 300-350 probably even more.

 

All: AHHHHHH!!!

 

>>I will try to up date as often as possible.

 

Etienne: But will you down date, too?? *rim shot*

Genocide: Booooo!

 

>>I hope that some of you like this.

 

Genocide: We won't.

 

>>I do not mind sharing it.

 

Genocide: Damn you for having confidence in this fic!!

 

>>But please understand that this is very PRECIOUS to me, as well as >>Link.

 

Jesse: Err... she does realize Link isn’t real, right?

Etienne: Apparently not...

 

>>So like I said, if the content of this story sounds too queer to you,

 

Genocide: *looks at Jesse* Come ON, man!! It's just BEGGING for a riff!!

Jesse: NO.

 

>>TURN BACK NOW! But to all who wish to continue, happy reading.

 

Genocide: The only way I'd be happy reading this is in a drug induced haze. Otherwise, no deal.

 

>>Thanks,   

 

All: But no thanks!

 

>>~*~ Link's Queen ~*~

 

Etienne: A name that may just live on in Oscar-style infamy... only without the bestiality.

Genocide: Self insertions, ho!

 

>>Rated R for strong adult language, sex, violence and blood content.

 

Jesse: This looks strangely familiar...

 

>>AGAIN AS A FINAL WARNING:

 

Jesse: (LQ) You will be blinded by my almighty CAPS LOCK!! MWAHAHAHAHAAA!

Genocide: Ow! My freakin' eyes!

 

>>THIS STORY CONTAINS HEAVY SEX,

 

Etienne: I think I’ve seen this warning somewhere before...

 

>>ABULT LANGUAGE

 

Jesse: "Abult" language...?

Genocide: Man, I hope someone hurries up and invents that Fanfic-ese translator!

 

>>AND TALKS ABOUT MY PERSONAL ENCOUNTER WITH LINK.

>>THIS STORY IS BASED ON DREAMS, DREAMS ABOUT MY LIFE WITH HIM.

 

Genocide: Yes, yes, your stupid lucid dreams, we get the point!

 

>>IF YOU FIND THE CONTENT OF THIS STORY TO BE OFFENSEVE, QUEER,

 

Genocide: *pleading* Jesse, please! It's killing me!!

Jesse: *warning glare*

 

>>OR PLAIN OUT OFF THE WALL,

 

Etienne: Right... huh??

 

>>THEN DO NOT READ ON!!!!!!! I HAVE GOTTEN WAY TO MANY FLAMES

 

Genocide: I wanna go to flames, guys!! Can we go to flames?? Please???

Etienne: Only if you’re good.  If you don’t behave, I’ll turn this MST around and we’ll go straight home!

 

>>ABOUT THE CONTENT OF THIS STORY

 

Jesse: Gee, I can’t imagine why anyone would have a problem with the content of this story.

Etienne: Careful, don't wanna use up all that sarcasm too early...

 

>>WHEN I HAVE PLACED SEVERAL WARNINGS!!!

 

Jesse: (LQ) AND SCREAMED EVERY ONE OF THEM!

 

>>I WILL NOT ACCECPT ANY MORE FLAMES,

 

Genocide: But she will accept them.

 

>>RAMBLINGS, CUSSING OR EXCESSIVE LASHING OUT ABOUT THE CHAR JENNA,

>>OR REVIEWS ABOUT THE CONTENT OF THIS STORY,

 

Etienne: Uh... correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the review option on FF.Net specifically for, oh, I don’t know... reviewing the content of the story!?

Jesse: Deep breaths, kid.  It’ll be over soon... I hope.

 

>>EXCESSIVE LASHING OUT, VICIOUS ATTACKS AGAINST MY PERSONALITY, OR >>NON-MATURE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISIM!!!

 

Jesse: So, just to recap... no talking about Jenna, reviewing the story, or giving constructive criticism.

Genocide: No, it's "critisim"...

Jesse: Oh, well that's a different matter!

 

>>ANY REVIEWS SUBMITTED THAT DO NOT FOLLOW THE ABOUVE GUIDLINES,

 

Etienne: "Abouve"?? Has the fic gotten an accent?

 

>>WILL BE DELETED IMMEDIATELY! THESE WARNINGS ARE NOT THERE TO LOOK >>PRETTY,

 

Jesse: That's good, because I've seen some SEWAGE that looked prettier than this load of bull.

 

>>THE AUTHORS PLACE WARNINGS FOR A REASON!!!

 

Etienne: To bore us to death?

Genocide: Ugh, mission accomplished! *snore*

 

>>IT IS TO TELL YOU WHAT THE CONTENT OF THE STORY IS SO THAT IF THE >>READER FINDS THE CONTENT OF THE STORY OFFENSIVE, THEY WILL NOT READ >>ON!!!

 

Etienne: No one in their right mind would want to read an entire warning that was this long! This is like, EIGHT pages!!

 

>>MANY AUTHORS HAVE BEEN COMPLAINING ABOUT UNWANTED, EXCESSIVE, VIOLENT >>AND JUST PLAIN NASTY REVIEWS THAT HAVE BEEN SUBMITTED BY READERS >>ABOUT THEIR STORIES, CAUSING FANFICTION TO GRANT AUTHORS THE ABILITY >>TO DELETE UNWANTED REVIEWS AND BLOCK CERTAIN READERS!!

 

Genocide: If only readers had the ability to block certain writers!

 

>>I WILL SAY THIS FOR MYSELF AND FOR ALL AUTHORS ON FANFICTION.

 

Jesse: Oh yeah, I’m sure that’s just what every author wants.  LQ speaking for them.

 

>>NO AUTHOR TWISTS YOUR ARM OR HOLDS YOU AT GUN POINT OR FORCES YOU IN >>ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM TO READ THEIR STORIES!!

>>ALL READERS HAVE THE RIGHT NOT TO READ A CERTAIN STORY!!!

 

Etienne: *tugs on Jesse's sleeve* Is that true??

Jesse: Not for us, kid... -_-

Genocide: *mutters* It's YOUR fault we're stuck in the basement with nothing to do...

Jesse: *glares*

 

>>IT IS YOUR RESOPONSIBILITY TO READ THE WARNINGS AND DECIDE FOR >>YOUSELF IF THE CONTENT OF THE STORY IS OFFENSIVE TO YOU, AND TO MAKE >>THE CHOICE TO READ ON OR NOT!!!

 

Genocide: I am offended by this warning!!

 

>>AND IT ALSO IS THE READERS RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

 

Etienne: I don't wanna be responsible and take responsibility!

Genocide: Yeah! ...Sounds like too much responsibility!

Jesse: *groan*

(pause)

Etienne & Genocide: RESPONSIBILITY!

 

>>ON HOW THEY HANDLE THENSELVES

 

All: Huh??

 

>>WHEN LEAVING A REVIEW FOR AN AUTHOR!! LEAVING A REVIEW THAT IS >>VIOLENT IN NATURE ONLY MAKES YOU THE READER LOOK BAD, AND IS VERY >>IMMATURE.

 

Jesse: Oh, yes, and this screaming frothing rant of doom makes you look SO mature.

 

>>IF ALL US HERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ADULTS,

 

Etienne: *miffed* We ARE??

 

>>WELL THEN, LETS CONDUCTIVE OURSELVES LIKE ADULTS AND NOT LIKE LITTLE >>KIDS!

 

Jesse: How exactly do we "conductive" ourselves?

 

>>I ONLY EXPECT THE VIOLENT LASHING OUT AND VICIOUS ATTACKS TO COME >>FROM TEENANGERS, NOT ADULTS!

 

Genocide: ...Not that you're being age-discriminate or anything.

 

>>IF YOU PEOPLE REALLY ARE ADULTS THAT ARE CONDUCTING YOURSELVES IN THE >>MANORS I DECRIBED ABOVE, YOU PEOPLE REALLY ARE SCARING ME!

 

Genocide: And you're scaring me!!

Jesse: How exactly are we supposed to conduct ourselves in the “manors”?

Genocide: Erm, I haven’t worked that out yet.  Too busy trying to keep my sanity intact.

Etienne: Good luck. -_-

 

>>IT'S A DAMN SHAME TO KNOW THAT THERE ARE ADULTS OUT THERE WHO CANNOT >>CONDUCTIVE THEMSELVES IN THE SIMPLEST MANORS THEIR PARENTS HAVE >>TAUGHT THEM!

 

Genocide: *giggles*

Etienne: O_o; It's quite frightening to hear a homicidal maniac giggle like a school girl.

 

>>ALSO LEAVING MALICIOUS REVIEWS IS ALSO A SIGN OF LOW SELF-ESTEEM.

 

Jesse: Then what's this rant a sign of...?

 

>>IF ALL YOU PEOPLE KNOW HOW DO IS ATTACK SOMEONE VICIOUSLY,

 

Genocide: Then yer doin' good! *cackles*

 

>>IT'S A SIGN OF SELFISHNESS AND NO RESPECT FOR ONES-SELF!

 

Etienne: Suuuuuuure it is....

 

>>I SUGGEST TO ALL READERS WHO ARE THINKING ABOUT LEAVING A MALICIOUS >>REVIEW FOR ME, PLEASE GET A HOBBY

 

Jesse: What if that IS their hobby?

 

>>AND LEARN TO CONTROL YOUR ANGER, BECAUSE YOUR ONLY HURTING YOURSELF,

 

Genocide: How d'ya figure that??

 

>>NOT ME! ALSO LEAVING A NASTY REVIEW ONLY MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID, NOT >>ME!

 

Etienne: This rant, on the other hand...

 

>>I FIND IT VERY RIDICULOUS THAT I HAD TO LEAVE A WARNING THIS LONG,

 

All: We agree!!

 

>>BUT IT IS BECAUSE OF THE VERY IMMATURE READERS THAT HAVE SUBMITTED >>NASTY CHILDISH REVIEWS!

 

Jesse: And we all know that THIS wouldn't prompt nasty reviews...

Etienne: No siree!

 

>>AGAIN, PLEASE READ THE ABOVE CONTEXT BEFORE READING ON!!!!

 

Genocide: No!!

Etienne: Good lord! O_o; Why would we read it AGAIN!?

 

>>Furthermore,

 

All: AHHHHHHHHHH! NO MORE!!!

Jesse: Oh god, where's my gun!?

Genocide: *whimpers*

 

>>I have realized that this story needs some heavy grammar corrections,

>>and that the plot needs some work.

 

Etienne: *snickers* I'll bet it does, MARY...

 

>>Also under the advisement of my friend who had just recently >>completed two literature classes,

 

Genocide: Please tell me you've decided to enroll??

 

>>has stated the reasons why people had classified Jenna as a "Mary >>Sue" char and labeled her as "flat".

 

Jesse: Because she IS?

Genocide: Geez, the author ADMITTED that Jenna was supposed to be herself!

 

>>She has come to the conclusion that most people do not know or >>understand Jenna's history,

 

Etienne: Correction, they don't CARE about Jenna or her history!

 

>>so she has advised me to create an origin story to explain about her >>history before she met Link.

 

Genocide: *whimper* Please tell me that won't be included in these horrendous author's notes!!

Jesse: It’d better not be!

 

>>That way she will become more rounded and

 

Jesse: We'll be able to roll her right outta this story!

Genocide: (random audience member) Booo! Get off the stage!

 

>>give people a reason to care about her.

 

Etienne: It's a lost cause, LQ!! No one's ever gonna care about Jenna!

Genocide: Especially not after sitting through all this crap.

Jesse: Hell, I’d be surprised if anyone else made it this far...

 

>>It was never in my intentions to create Jenna as a "Mary Sue" char or >>to make her conceited, because I'm not really like that. Jenna is a >>persona char, one that resembles my personality

 

Jesse: (frustrated) That's what a Mary Sue IS!! AHHH!!

Etienne: *pats his shoulder* Calm down... it's not even into the story yet, Jesse.

Jesse: Where did you GET this crap, Genocide??

Genocide: Fanfiction.net ^_^;

Jesse: Figures...

 

>>while this story is being told from her perspective. This story is >>not something that I pulled out of my head like my drawings, it came >>from my dreams.

 

Genocide: Which were pulled out of your head.  Huh.

 

>>So I understand that revising this story is going to be hard work and >>will take time.

 

Etienne: Like all GOOD things should.

Jesse: I hope you're not saying this is good...

Etienne: O_O; No, no...

 

>>Since this story is being told in the exact, or close to exact order >>it happened in the dreams, changing how fast Link and Jenna marry >>isn't going to be easy.

 

Genocide: Uhhh, and why not? You simply backspace some stuff here, and add some stuff there... no biggie.

 

>>Even changing how fast they have sex

 

Genocide: Heh, so Link’s a minute man?

 

>>and revising the Lemon parts also won't be so easy to do. But I'm >>currently in the process of revising this story, also I have received >>a college grammar book from my friend and I will be investing in a >>Beta-Reader.

 

Etienne: Today Beta-Reader stocks plummeted a shocking 999,999,999 percent...

 

>>I'm also considering taking to literature classes at JC to help boost >>my writing skills.

 

Jesse: Do it!! For the sake of us all, please do it!

 

>>But now I say this, if you people, the reviewers really have the >>intentions to help me, them please do it positively and like a mature >>adult.

 

Etienne: Thought we weren't allowed to review?

Genocide: Should we conductive ourselves using abult language?

Jesse: Only if it’s in the simplest manors our parents have taught us.

 

>>I'm telling you that it is a proven fact that

 

Etienne: Mary Sues are pure EVIL!

Jesse: Freedom of speech is often abused!

Genocide: The Caramilk secret isn't really a secret!

 

>>negative motivation NEVER motivates someone to change.

 

Jesse: ...I'm sure there's a double negative joke in there SOMEwhere.

 

>>It never has and it never will. I'm pretty sure your parents have >>taught you that people only respond to positive motivation and not >>negative.

 

Genocide: I respond to negative motivation by killing. It works for me!

Etienne: This fic could drive just about anyone to murder...

 

>>I'm not close-minded, I NEVER have been. I have always been open to >>other people's thoughts and opinions, its when its done in an >>inappropriate manner that I turn my nose at it and look away.

 

Etienne: Then you're not always open to thoughts and opinions, are you?

Jesse: Ahhh, I love the scent of contradictions in a fic.

Genocide: *sniff sniff* No, I think that's something in the basement you smell...

Etienne & Jesse: O_o;

 

>>People have to understand that when you're an adult, you need to >>conduct yourself

 

Jesse: Don't you mean "conductive"?

 

>>like one and learn how to address other people like one. You cannot >>just act childish when you come across something that you DO NOT >>approve of,

 

Genocide: Oh, yes I can!!

Jesse: *mutters* Yeah, just watch him...

 

>>you're only making yourself look bad and that can affect you later on >>in life. Acting childish and ranting and raving is something I'd >>expect a little kid would do when he doesn't get his way.

 

All: *hysterical laughing*

 

>>When an adult acts childish over stupid things, that's looked down >>upon, and considered to be unhealthy.

 

Jesse: ...*gestures to the rant* Need I say more?

 

>>I have seen far too many reviews left for me where the reviewers are >>just ranting and raving like little kids over this story because they >>do not like it. It is only making them look stupid and is very >>unhealthy.

 

Etienne: I don’t think the person who takes Link out on dates with her should be telling us what is or isn’t healthy.

 

>>I fear that these people have some serious emotional problems if they >>get that upset over a story.

 

Genocide: And I fear that if you keep babbling, I'm gonna SCREAM!!

 

>>People in control of their emotions and have also obtained some sort >>of common sense,

 

Jesse: Which is something NOT exhibited here.

 

>>NEVER let little things get them all riled up. It is very sad when >>one that is supposed to be an adult, cannot handle them like one.

 

All: *muffled snickers*

 

>>I was NEVER angry with the reviewers not liking the story, it's how >>they handled themselves when leaving me the reviews.

 

Etienne: Uhh... huh???

Genocide: *holds his head* Oh man, if she's this confusing NOW, I shudder to think what the actual story will be like...

 

>>Getting riled up, ranting and raving,

 

Jesse: *cough*LQ*cough*

 

>>screaming and spitting nails over this story is what has caused me to >>get upset, not the fact that they didn't like it.

 

Etienne: Suuuuuure....

 

>>Also as a side note,

 

Genocide: AHHHHH!!! SHUT UP, ALREADY!!!

 

>>I NEVER physically hurt ANYONE with this story.

 

Jesse: I beg to differ... it's giving ME a headache.

 

>>I got one reviewer that said. "Oh God, please stop writing, you're >>hurting everyone."

 

Etienne: I agree! O_o;;;

 

>>Now I want to know where I physically touched that person.

 

Genocide: (holds up a doll) Now, reviewer, show us on the doll where LQ touched you...

 

>>I want to know how I'm twisting anyone's arms to read this. I have >>never done anything of the sort in any way, shape or form and I DO >>NOT appreciate being accused of that! If you're emotionally hurt over >>this, its your fault not mine.

 

Etienne: EXCUSE me??? How is it OUR fault if YOUR fic causes US pain?

 

>>I'm sorry if it did, but I have placed several warnings describing >>the content of this story

 

Genocide: Several LONG warnings...

Jesse: Several long and PAINFUL warnings...

 

>>and if you know what it contains and you do not like this type of >>material, then why are you reading it?

 

Genocide: Because JESSE got us locked in my basement!

Jesse: ...Shut up.

 

>>I do not appreciate getting accused for other people's actions.

 

Etienne: You mean someone ELSE wrote this painful fic??

 

>>It is your choice as the reader to read the content of this story and >>it is not my fault if it upsets you when you knew from the gecko

>>what it contained.

 

Genocide: From the GECKO??

Etienne: Um, I dunno about you guys, but I don’t remember talking to any geckos before we started reading this...

 

>>So please DO NOT flame me about it.

>>

>>I also feel like a schoolteacher teaching a bunch of little kids.

 

Jesse: An incoherent teacher who talks to GECKOS, maybe.

Etienne: And mangles the English language.

 

>>And I find that this really wasn't necessary and shouldn't have had >>to come to this,

 

Genocide: Yeah, this whole thing really is pretty unnecessary...

 

>>but it is very hard when your reviewers have forgotten how to conduct

>>themselves like adults.

 

Etienne: But if they conductive themselves like abults, that's acceptable. ^_^;

 

>>If you honestly think that being malicious is a good thing and that >>you're not wrong in doing so,

 

Genocide: Sounds good to me! ^_^

 

>>well then your blinded by your own selfish pride. People with common >>sense learn how to take responsibility for themselves and are able to >>admit when their wrong.

 

All: *loud coughing*

 

>>I have found that many of the reviewers that have left me malicious >>reviews honestly believe that its appropriate behavior for an adult.

 

Genocide: Then they learned that only abults leave reviews like that.  Damn bastard abults! *shakes fist*

 

>>When it really is that they are too self-absorbed in themselves to >>admit their wrong.

 

Etienne: No, it's not their wrong, it's YOUR wrong!

Genocide: MINE MINE MINE!!!

 

>>Again that results from selfish pride. One to scared to admit in >>front of others that they just might be wrong.

 

Jesse: This is making less and less sense, the longer it gets.

Genocide: You’re just noticing that now??

Jesse: Give me a break, Genocide... my brain feels like mush from reading this. -_-;

 

>>Also, how can any of you hold any right to call Jenna conceited when >>in reality, your contradicting yourself by being conceited as well?

 

Genocide: Buh??

Etienne: ...Sooo... they're conceited because they left reviews saying they didn't like your story?

Jesse: Oh, good.  Glad to see logic has officially left the story!

 

>>Being conceited is again selfish pride and being self-absorbed.

>>And yes, it is and always will be a fact that most of the reviewers >>have been conceited and very contradictive.

 

Etienne: Not that YOU are, or anything, though...

Genocide: Noooo, never!

 

>>Please DO NOT leave me a review that only contradicts what you are >>trying to preach. You should in reality, take your own advice.

 

Jesse: Because LQ sure ain’t gonna take their advice.

 

>>Again I find it very ridiculous that this had to be as long as it is,

 

All: NO KIDDING!!

 

>>but it is due to the fact that people not conducting

 

Genocide: *giggles* Don’t you mean conductiving?

 

>>themselves appropriately. Also if I do receive any more malicious >>reviews, with screaming, spitting nails

 

Jesse: Now that sounds dangerous.

Genocide: Warning! Do not attempt this at home!!

 

>>or ranting and raving over this story because you do not like it then >>are to self-absorbed to admit that acting like that is wrong,

 

All: *more loud coughing*

 

>>well then you have proven my point!

 

Etienne: There was a point...?

 

>>All of this is very self-explanatory!

 

Jesse: I think we must've missed something then, because it didn't seem very self-explanatory to me.

Genocide: Of course we missed something!

Etienne: Yeah! We didn't "hear from the gecko"!

 

>>Now PLEASE DO NOT READ ON if you DO NOT plan on leaving me a review >>appropriately!

 

Genocide: We would stop reading... only then we'd be bored.

Jesse: You know what?  I’ll take being bored over this any day.

Etienne: *stands up and stretches* Let’s take a break, guys, before our eyes start bleeding...

 

(suddenly the sound of the door opening is heard...)

 

***********************************************************************

 

MSTer's end notes: Well!  There you have it!  The conclusion of part one.  Will Genocide, Jesse, and Etienne get out of the basement? Who's at the door? Will we ever get to meet that elusive gecko? Find out in the next installment of "My Inner Life"... ;)

 

 

Stinger: "It is your choice as the reader to read the content of this story and it is not my fault if it upsets you when you knew from the gecko what it contained."