What if people bought cars like they buy computers?
 
HELPLINE: General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?
CUSTOMER: I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened!
HELPLINE: Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?
CUSTOMER: What's an ignition?
HELPLINE: It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and
turns over the engine.
CUSTOMER: Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all of
these technical terms just to use my car?
 
 
HELPLINE: General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?
CUSTOMER: My car ran for a week, and now it won't go anywhere.
HELPLINE: Is the gas tank empty?
CUSTOMER: Huh? How do I know?
HELPLINE: There's a little gauge on the front panel, with a needle and
markings E and F, where is the needle pointing?
CUSTOMER: It's pointing to E, what does that mean?
HELPLINE: It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase
some more gasoline.  You can install it yourself or pay the vendor to
install it for you.
CUSTOMER: What!? I paid $12000 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to
keep buying more components?  I want a car that comes with everything built
in!
 
 
HELPLINE: General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?
CUSTOMER: Your cars suck!
HELPLINE: What's wrong?
CUSTOMER: It crashed, that's what's went wrong!
HELPLINE: What were you doing?
CUSTOMER: I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the
way to the floor.  It worked for a while and then it crashed - and now it
won't start!
HELPLINE: It's your responsibility if you misuse the product.  What do you
expect us to do about it?
CUSTOMER: I want you to send me one of the latest versions that does not
crash anymore!
 
 
HELPLINE: General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?
CUSTOMER: Hi!  I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it
has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes
and power door locks.
HELPLINE: Thanks for buying our car.  How can I help you?
CUSTOMER: How do I work it?
HELPLINE: Do you know how to drive?
CUSTOMER: Do I know how to what?
HELPLINE: Do you know how to DRIVE?
CUSTOMER: I'm not a technical person! I just want to go places in my car!