---= Software announcement =---

New!!! Wife 1.0 now released
=============================
     
Last year a friend of mine upgraded girlfriend 6.0 
to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving 
very little system resources for other applications.
He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning 
Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable 
resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was 
included in the product brochure or the documentation, 
though other users have informed him that this is to be 
expected due to the nature of the application.
Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it 
is always launched at system  initialization where it 
can monitor all other system activity. 
He's finding that some applications such as
Poker Night 10.3, Beer Bash 2.5, and Pub Night 7.0 
are no longer able to run, crashing the system when
selected (even though they always worked fine before). 
At installation, Wife 1.0 automatically installs 
undesired Plug-Ins such as Mother-In-Law 55.8 and 
Brother-In-Law Beta release. As a consequence, 
system  performance seems to diminish with each passing 
day.
     
Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming wife 2.0:   
     
--A "Don't remind me again" button   
     
--Minimize button   
     
--An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be
  installed with the option to uninstall at anytime 
  without the loss of cache and other
  system resources. 
     
I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated 
with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 2.0.
Even here, however, I found many problems. 
Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on top of 
Girlfriend 1.0.  You must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first. 
Other users say this is a long standing bug which
I should have been aware of.
Apparently the versions of  Girlfriend have conflicts 
over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would 
have fixed such a stupid bug by now.
To make matters worse, the uninstall program for 
Girlfriend 1.0 doesn't work very well, leaving 
undesirable traces of the application in the system. 
Another annoying problem: all versions of Girlfriend 
continually pop up annoying messages about the 
advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0
     
*****  BUG WARNING  ********
Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug.
If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling 
Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before 
executing a self-uninstallation.
Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, 
claiming insufficient system resources.
     
**** BUG WORK-AROUNDS ***************
To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 
on a different system and never run any file transfer 
applications such as Laplink 6.0.
Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have 
been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0. 
Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via a 
UseNet provider under an anonymous name. 
Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidentally 
be downloaded from the UseNet.

P.S. Most women prefer men with a large RAM and CACHE
     availability.