"Forget the diving, forget the Argentina game , the worst thing about France '98 was the TV commentary. Or to be more precise, the bollocks spouted by some of the so-called 'experts'. In order to purge myself of some truly dreadful TV memories, I have selected some of the funnier bits of TV nonsense from the World Cup. Hope you enjoy them..." - - - "Batistuta gets most of his goals with the ball" - Ian St. John "The good news for Nigeria is that they're 2-0 down very early in the game" - Kevin Keegan "Moreano thought that the full-back was gonna come up behind and give him one really hard" - Big Ron "I came to Nantes two years ago and it's much the same today, except that it is completely different" - Kevin Keegan "That's lifted the crowd up into the air" - Barry Davies "Adams is stretching himself, looking for Seaman" - Brian Moore "I wouldn't be surprised if this game went all the way to the finish" - Ian St John "Chile have three options - they could win or they could lose" - Kevin Keegan "Apart from their goals, Norway haven't scored" - Terry Venables "It had to go in, but it didn't" - Peter Drury "He never fails to hit the target. But that was a miss" - Bobby Robson "Batistuta is very good at pulling off defenders" - Kevin Keegan "Zidane is not very happy because he's suffering from the wind" - Big Ron "Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw" - Big Ron "He sliced the ball when he had it on a plate" - Big Ron "I'm afraid they've left their legs at home" - Big Ron