Chapter Eleven

“You gonna stick by me?”

“Maybe…”

**

After I hurt my knee, Dom started acting weird. Weirder than he had been, I mean. After we got home that first day, he acted like he was all concerned about me and shit. Got me set up on the couch, covered me with blankets till I felt like I was in a fucking oven, propped my leg up on some pillows, got me the remote, the phone, a soda and a handful of Tylenol, asked me if I was okay until I thought I was going to have to smack him just to get him to shut up. He didn’t say a word about needing to go back to the garage, though, just sat there on the floor and watched me, rubbing my arm until I was practically asleep. The last thing I remember from that afternoon is the feel of him leaning over me, almost but not quite touching me, his lips brushing across my forehead.

And after that, Dom was like, overly protective of me, like he thought I was gonna break or something. He insisted that I just stay at home and lie on the couch, got mad whenever he saw me up and walking around. It was nice at first, being pampered and getting to stay home from school. But after a few days it was boring as hell. There’s only so much to watch on daytime television, you know. So, when I got to the point where I could walk around okay, as long as I went slow, I headed over to the garage.

The first day, Dom was the only one there when I showed up. I was still a little shaky on my feet, and I’d walked the few blocks to the garage. Probably not the best idea I’ve ever had, but I didn’t have any other way to get there.

“Letty, what the fuck are you doing here?” Dom yelled as soon as he saw me. “You’re supposed to be home, resting, with your ass on that couch.”

“It’s no big deal, Dom,” I replied, sighing. “I just got bored at home. There’s nothing to do there, no one to talk to. It was driving me crazy.”

“You should have called me if you needed something,” he said, suddenly calmer, walking up to me.

“Yeah, sure Dom,” I replied, sarcastically. “And you would have run over to the house to entertain me, leaving all this work here still needing to be done and your customers calling to ask why the hell their cars aren’t ready when you said they would be.”

“You’re more important than these cars are, Letty, don’t you know that?” Dom said, so softly that I could barely hear him.

He reached his hand up to my face and stroked my cheek and I don’t know if it was his words or his touch or just general exhaustion, prolly a mix of all three, but suddenly it was all I could do just to stand up. Dom must have noticed, ‘cause he picked me up and carried me over to the office, made me sit down. He lingered over me, brushed a strand of hair away from my face, and I thought he might kiss me, but Leon drove up right then, yelling for Dom to come help him unload the latest supply shipment from the van. I love Leon, but I swear to God, I could have fucking killed him right then and there without one regret.

After that, Dom still wouldn’t let me around the cars, saying he didn’t want me to hurt myself even more, but he didn’t protest as much when I showed up at the garage. So I just hung out in the office with Mia all the time. Sometimes Leon’s friend Amber would come over and hang out with us too, waiting for Leon to finish up in the garage so they could go out. There was this old couch in the office, so I could sit down and prop my leg up when my knee got to hurting. We would blast the radio, sing along at the top of our lungs to Salt-n-Pepa, En Vogue, TLC, 69 Boyz, Montell Jordan, Hootie and the Blowfish, and dance around the office until Dom or Leon would come in and threaten to break the damn thing if we kept listening to what they called ‘that fucking shit’. Those two never have appreciated good music...

It was actually fun, hanging out with Mia and Amber. I could be goofy around them without having to worry about looking dumb, and weak. And I could talk to them about guys and stuff - even though Amber always insisted that she wasn’t the one to ask for advice on men, unless I wanted to know the kind I should stay as far away from as I could. But I mostly asked about one guy in particular.

“Mia, what the fuck is up with your brother?” I asked her one afternoon when it was just the two of us and I was especially frustrated with Dom, making sure to close the door to the office so he and Leon wouldn’t hear us talking.

“What do you mean?”

“Like…okay, sometimes it’ll seem like he’s flirting with me, and then he’ll like…do stuff…”

“Do stuff? Like what?” she asked.

“Well…like he’ll touch me, and it’ll be for just a second or two longer than normal. Or he’ll just like…stand really close to me…look at me weird. And sometimes he leans in close to me until I could swear he’s about to kiss me, but then all of a sudden he just pulls back for no reason. And then I’m not sure if he really was going to kiss me, or if I’m just reading way too much into it and imagining everything and just driving myself crazy for no reason,” I blurted out. “I mean, it’s not even like he’s really flirting. There’s just something in his eyes…I can’t explain it, but it’s not how regular people look at me.”

“I think he’s in love, Letty,” Mia said softly, smiling at me.

“Oh, that’s great, just perfect. Someone up there must really, really hate me, to put me through all of this shit,” I thought to myself. “I do not think I can handle seeing him all lovey-dovey with some chick. It was bad enough when he was fucking every skank at the races when he was in high school, but I never thought he really cared about any of them. And what kind of guy practically kisses one girl when he’s in love with someone else? I could’ve sworn Dom wasn’t like that. He’d better not turn into your typical male asshole, ‘cause then I’ll have to beat the shit out of him…”

“So, who’s the slut?” I asked Mia, after a minute or two had passed and I’d gotten my thoughts under control a little.

She just laughed. “Letty, it’s you!”

“What? Mia, you smoking crack or something? You’re crazy, girl! Me? You’re saying Dom’s in love with me? No way…no fucking way…”

“I’m serious!” she insisted. “I hear him talking to himself about you, when he thinks I’m not around. He’s completely sprung.”

“Yeah? Then why doesn’t he do anything about it? I mean, yeah, he flirts with me sometimes. Or, I’m pretty sure it’s flirting. Maybe I’m just imagining it. But then, it’s like he gets to a point where I think he’s finally going to make a move and he just backs off, completely shuts down. Why would he do that if he were sprung on me?”

Mia nodded her head in understanding. “I think Dom’s afraid he’s going to hurt you.”

I could only stare at her. “What? Hurt me? That’s crazy. You know, forget what I said earlier. I think Dom’s the one smoking crack, not you. Or maybe both of you are…”

“Yeah,” Mia laughed. “Well, Dom’s a guy. And when have you ever known a man to be rational, especially when it comes to dealing with women?”

“You do have a point there,” I had to agree.

“And, you know,” she continued, “ever since Dom got out of jail, there are times when I get home and he’s completely off in his own little world, doesn’t even notice I’m around. Sometimes when he gets like that, I’ll hear him muttering to himself, over and over, ‘She’s only fifteen; stay away from her; don’t you dare screw her life up; she deserves better than you,’ like he’s trying to talk himself out of something.”

“So, wait. You’re telling me that Dom is in love with me, but he won’t let himself do anything about it because he thinks I’m too young or too good for him or he’ll ruin my life or some shit like that? Have I mentioned yet that your brother is like, completely insane?”

Mia laughed. “Well, you won’t get any argument from me about that.” She was silent for a few minutes before continuing. “So…I take it you kind of like Dom, too?”

“Kind of?” I asked, embarrassed. I could feel myself blushing, and I hate that. “You mean it isn’t completely obvious? Well, that’s a relief, I guess. At least I haven’t been looking like a lovesick little girl to anyone but myself. I’ve liked…no, I’ve loved Dom since almost before I can remember.”

“So,” Mia said a few minutes later, a scheming look on her face. “You’ve been in love with Dom since like, forever, but he never paid any attention to you. And now, he’s in love with you, but won’t let himself do anything about it…”

“Exactly,” I sighed. “You know, my aunt always says that God never gives you anything too big for you to handle. But I swear, I’m starting to think He’s a sadist.”

“Oh, God, Letty,” Mia laughed. “Just don’t let Father Manuel hear you say anything like that. He’ll have you reciting the Hail Mary for the rest of your life as punishment!”

Just then the phone rang, and I sat there thinking about what Mia had said while she talked to whoever it was, trying to explain that their car wouldn’t be ready until the next week unless they wanted to pay for us to overnight parts from Japan.

“I can’t live like this, Mia,” I complained when she finally got off the phone. “I can’t keep putting up with Dom and all his bullshit. He needs to hurry the fuck up and make up his mind what he wants. What the hell am I supposed to do?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll come up with something,” Mia assured me.

What she came up with was a plan I liked to call Operation: Get Dom to Stop Acting Like a Complete Fucking Idiot. Which didn’t really shorten itself well, but it made Mia and me laugh like crazy.

Mia explained it like this: “First, you need to come on to him. Strongly. He is a guy, you know, and they tend to be completely clueless even when you lay it all out for them. Touch him a lot, squeeze past him, ask him to rub your back for you. Tell him he smells good, if you can manage to figure out a way to make him believe that oil and grease and sweat smell good. You don’t want to tease him, though…just make sure he notices you. We have to get that control of his to break down.”

“Are you sure this will work, girl? I don’t want to end up looking like a fool,” I sighed to her. The plan actually sounded kind of dumb, to me. But it wasn’t like I had any other brilliant ideas.

“Yes, of course it will work!” Mia exclaimed. “Trust me. Oh, and you should like…start changing in front of him…out of your coveralls and into your school clothes, or something.”

“Mia! Are you trying to make me look like a total slut or something?”

“Oh, come on, it’s no big deal. Well, I mean, it will be, since it’ll be you changing and Dom watching. But if you two were really just friends, it wouldn’t be a big deal at all. I swear,” she replied.