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          THE DAILY PROPHET NEWS          

LUCIUS MALFOY'S DIRTY SECRETS ARE EXPOSED

The home of esteemed businessman Lucius Malfoy was raided on Tuesday for items of dark magic. An anonymous tip, sent in from over two years previous, which was found lodged between two filing cabinets explained where to look for the sinister objects. It had apparently been lost in the shuffle while being sent from Secretary Penelope Nott to Arthur Weasley, head of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office. "I don't know how that note got there," said Mrs. Nott when asked to comment.

After an intern found the memo while dusting, it finally found its way to Mr. Weasley's desk. After receiving a warrant from Judge Gregory Brown, Weasely, winner of last year's galleon giveaway, lead the raid into Mr. Malfoy's fifteen story brick manor. Inside the chamber the note spoke of, most of the contents seemed to have been removed. According to a bright red Mr. Weasley "It appeared that somehow Mr. Malfoy was notified of our inspection prior to Tuesday. However, we were able to confiscate some of the larger, hard to move items. This proved enough to incarcerate Mr. Malfoy." However, it seems highly unlikely that he will serve any time due to the fact that he has hired the infamous defense attorney Smitty McGee.

"The truth will be told!" McGee said at a recent press conference "that my client is an avid collector of antiques and has been wrongfully accused of a hainous act. I assure you, justice will be served." In a brief statement to the press Malfoy said "Even the idea that I serve- I mean served- the Dark Lord is absurd. I am a collector of antiquities, that is all." The public will find out soon enough if antique collecting is the only activity that he's been "dabbling" in.

A hearing is scheduled for next Wednesday. Meanwhile, Malfoy has posted bail and will continue to serve on the committees of various organizations, including Hogwarts' Board of Governors. Malfoy's son Draco, in fact, attends the school and is a fourth year Slytherin. To contribute to Draco's "Save My Daddy From Jailtime Because He Was Framed by a Muggle Loving Coot" fund, send all donations to: 532 Scam Drive, Sussex, England.

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