BLONDE JOKES, ONE-LINERS
Q: A blonde, a readhead and a brunette jumped off of a tall building. Who took the longest to hit the ground?
A: The blonde because she had to stop and ask directions!
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to kill herself?
A: She jumped out a basement window.
Q: Did you hear about the two blondes that walked into a building?
A: You think one of them would have noticed it!
Q: How can you tell if a blond is a good cook?
A: If she can get the pop tart out of the toaster in one piece.
Q: How can you tell a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is all wet.
Q: How did the dumb blond break her legs raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree!!
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night!
Q: How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.
Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: How does a blonde interpret 6.9?
A: A 69 interrupted by a period.
Q: How does a blonde turn on the light after having sex?
A: She opens the car door.
Q: How does a blonde high-5?
A: She smacks herself in the forehead.
Q: How many blonds does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 3, One to screw in the light bulb, and 2 to get another one.
Q: Standing in a circle, is a clever blonde, dumb blonde, a dumb brunette, Santa Claus, the Easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy. In the middle there's a $50 note. Who'll pick it up?
A: The dumb blonde. The others don't exist!
Q: What did the mom say to her blonde daughter before a date?
A: If your not in bed by 12 come home.
Q: What did the blonde's left leg say to the blonde's right leg?
A: Nothing, they've never met
Q: What did the blonde say when she saw cheerios?
A: Donut seeds
Q: What did the blonde say when someone blew in her ear?
A: Thanks for the refill.
Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.
Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Hide-and-go-seek winner from last year
Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A: A Space Invader.
Q: What do you do if a blonde can't start the car?
A: Give her the keys!!!!!!!!
Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
A: The back of her head.
Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A: Frosted Flakes.
Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
A: "Nice tits!"
Q: What goes Vroom EERCH Vroom EERCH Vroom EERCH?
A: A blonde at a flashing red light.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito will stop sucking when you slap at it.
Q: What is the difference betwen a blonde and a Lamborghini?
A: You don't let your friends borrow your Lamborghini.
Q: What is a blonde's favorite fairy tale?
A: Humpme Dumpme!!
Q: What is the difference between the grand old Duke of York and a blond?
A: The grand old Duke of York only had 10,000 men.
Q: What is the difference between a male blonde and a female blonde?
A: The female blonde has a higher sperm count.
Q: What is the first thing a blonde does when she wakes up in the morning?
A: Goes home!
Q: What was the blonde doing in the sink?
A: Tap Dancing
Q: What's a blondes' favorite rock group?
A: Air Supply.
Q: What's the difference between a Blonde and a toilet bowl?
A: A toilet bowl won't follow you home after you use it.
Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did the blonde have square tits?
A: She forgot to take the tissue out of the box.
Q: Why did the blonde stop using birth control pills?
A: Because it kept on falling out.
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years."
Q: Why did the blonde write "TGIF" on her shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.
Q: Why do blondes have legs?
A1: So they don't get stuck to the ground.
A2: To get between the bedroom and the kitchen.
A3: So they don't leave trails, like little snails.
Q: Why do blondes drive VW's?
A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!
Q: Why do blondes prefer cars with tilt steering?
A: More headroom.
Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A: To cover up the valve stem.
Q: Why do blondes wear panties?
A: To keep their ankles warm.
Q: Why does a blonde smile in a lightning storm?
A: They think their getting their picture taken.
Q: Why doesn't a blonde talk during sex?
A: Because her mother told her never to talk to strangers.
Q: Why don't blondes like making Kool-Aid?
A: Because they can't fit all the water in the package.