DIVERSITY



Aussies:          Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits:          Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.
Americans:          Believe that people should look out for and take care of themselves.
Canadians:          Believe that that's the government's job.

Aussies:          Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
Canadians:          Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
Americans:          Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits:          Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.

Americans:          Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians:          Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
Brits:          Pay a tax just so they can watch 4 channels.
Aussies:          Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.

Americans:          Love to watch sports on the idiot box.
Brits:          Love to watch sports in stadiums so they can fight with other fans.
Canadians:          Prefer to actually engage in sports rather than watch them.

Americans:          Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball and basketball.
Brits:          Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer and rugby.
Canadians:          Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
Aussies:          Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they played them in.

Americans:          Spell words differently, but still call it "English"
Brits:          Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English"
Canadians:          Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans.
Aussies:          Add "G'day", "mate," and a heavy accent to everything they say.

Brits:          Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
Aussies:          Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
Americans:          Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor in a backwards country.
Canadians:          Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor in a backwards country.

Aussies:          Are extremely patriotic to their beer.
Americans:          Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
Canadians:          Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them.
Brits:          Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.

Brits:          Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their past citizens.
Americans:          Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their present citizens.
Canadians:          Prattle on about how some of those great Americans were once Canadian.
Aussies:          Wallow on about how some of their past citizens were once outlaw Pommies, but none of that matters after several beers.

Americans:          Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally suspect.
Canadians:          Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits:          Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited things.
Aussies:          Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.

Canadians:          Encourage immigrants to keep their old ways and avoid assimilation.
Americans:          Encourage immigrants to assimilate quickly and dump their old ways.
Brits:          Encourages immigrants to go to Canada or America.

Canadians:          Endure bitterly cold winters and are proud of it.
Brits:          Endure oppressively wet and dreary winters and are proud of it.
Americans:          Don't have to do either, and couldn't care less.
Aussies:          Don't understand what inclement weather means.

Aussies:          Have produced comedians like Paul Hogan and Yahoo Serious.
Canadians:          Have produced many great comedians, like John Candy, Martin Short, Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, and all the rest at SCTV.
Americans:          Think that these people are American!
Brits:          Have produced many great comedians, but Americans ignore them because they don't understand subtle humor.