INTERNET JOKES ABOUT ECONOMISTS AND ECONOMICS
I have gathered these jokes from various sources, e.g., news, friends, readers of this page, etc. Unfortunately I wasn't able to list all the persons who invented these jokes, which would probably be impossible. Therefore, I will not give the sources unless someone asks for them. All the following jokes are somehow related to the profession of economists. Though some jokes are more general and economist could be substituted with some other profession, I try to maintain the "purity" of the page. No joke is completely politically correct even if I try to avoid personal or dirty jokes. Therefore, if you are afraid of being offended please do not continue. Otherwise, relax and be my guest!
*1st WWW-edition 24/10/1994* *Update 25/10/1995* *Latest jokes are marked with +*
A story of this page was published in the article "Laugher Curve" in Business Week May 8, 1995 issue by William Glasgall
Economics is the only field in which two people can get a Nobel Prize for saying exactly the opposite thing.
Heard at the Wharton School.
Man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Tells the shepherd, "I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock." The shepherd thinks it over; it's a big flock so he takes the bet. "973," says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. Says "OK, I'm a man of my word, take an animal." Man picks one up and begins to walk away.
"Wait," cries the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation." Man says sure. "You are an economist for a government think tank," says the shepherd. "Amazing!" responds the man, "You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?"
"Well," says the shepherd, "put down my dog and I will tell you."
A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job. The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?" The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."
Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"
Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, "We got it! We got it!"
A mathematician, a theoretical economist and an econometrician are asked to find a black cat (who doesn't really exist) in a closed room with the lights off:
The mathematician goes crazy trying to find a black cat that doesn't exist inside the darkened room and ends up in a psychiatric hospital.
The theoretical economist is unable to catch the black cat that doesn't exist inside the darkened room, but exits the room proudly proclaiming that he can construct a model to describe all his movements with extreme accuracy.
The econometrician walks securely into the darkened room, spends one hour looking for the black cat that doesn't exist and shouts from inside the room that he has it caught by the neck.
Heard at the workshop of evolutionary economists:
Q: How has the French revolution affected world economic growth?
A: Too early to say.
True story: I was standing with Ken Arrow by a bank of elevators on the ground floor of William James Hall at Harvard. Three elevators passed us on our way to the basement. I foolishly said "I wonder why everybody in the basement wants to go upstairs." He responded, almost instantly: "You're confusing supply with demand." Curt Monash
Economist poem
If you do some acrobatics
with a little mathematics
it will take you far along.
If your idea's not defensible
don't make it comprehensible
or folks will find you out,
and your work will draw attention
if you only fail to mention
what the whole thing is about.
You must talk of GNP
and of elasticity
of rates of substitution
of indeterminate solution
and oligonopopsony.
Kenneth E. BOULDING
Q: What do economists and computers have in common ??
A: You need to punch information into both of them.
Q: Why does Treasury only have 10 minutes for morning tea ??
A: If they had any longer, they would need to re-train all the economists.
Two economists were walking down the street when they noticed two women yelling across the street at each other from their apartment windows.
Of course they will never come to agreement, stated the first economist.
And why is that, inquired his companion,
Why, of course, because they are arguing from different premises.
Here's a couple of more general jokes.
A civil engineer, a chemist and an economist are traveling in the countryside. Weary, they stop at a small country inn. "I only have two rooms, so one of you will have to sleep in the barn," the innkeeper says. The civil engineer volunteers to sleep in the barn, goes outside, and the others go to bed. In a short time they're awakened by a knock. It's the engineer, who says, "There's a cow in that barn. I'm a Hindu, and it would offend my beliefs to sleep next to a sacred animal." The chemist says that, OK, he'll sleep in the barn. The others go back to bed, but soon are awakened by another knock. It's the chemist who says, "There's a pig in that barn. I'm Jewish, and cannot sleep next to an unclean animal." So the economist is sent to the barn. It's getting late, the others are very tired and soon fall asleep. But they're awakened by an even louder knocking. They open the door and are surprised by what they see: It's the cow and the pig!
Three economists and three mathematicians were going for a trip by train. Before the journey the mathematicians bought 3 tickets (they could count to three) and economists only one. Mathematicians were glad their stupid colleagues were going to pay a fine. However when the conductor was approaching their compartment, all three economists went to the nearest toilet. Noticing that somebody was in the loo, the conductor knocked to the door and in reply saw a hand with the ticket. He checked it and economists saved 2/3 of the ticket price. Next day mathematicians decided to use the same strategy they bought only one ticket, but the economists did not buy tickets at all. When the mathematicians saw the conductor they went to the loo, and when they heard knocking they handed in the ticket. They did not get it back. Why? The economists took it and went to the other toilet.
A party of economists was climbing in the Alps . After several hours they became hopelessly lost. One of them studied the map for some time, turning it up and down, sighting on distant landmarks, consulting his compass, and finally the sun.
Finally he said, 'OK see that big mountain over there?'
'Yes', answered the others eagerly.
'Well, according to the map, we're standing on top of it.'
When Albert Einstein died, he met three New Zealanders in the queue outside the Pearly Gates. To pass the time, he asked what were their IQs. The first replied 190. "Wonderful," exclaimed Einstein. "We can discuss the contribution made by Ernest Rutherford to atomic physics and my theory of general relativity". The second answered 150. "Good," said Einstein. "I look forward to discussing the role of New Zealand's nuclear-free legislation in the quest for world peace". The third New Zealander mumbled 50. Einstein paused, and then asked, "So what is your forecast for the budget deficit next year?" Economist
Two men are flying in a captive balloon. The wind is ugly and they come away from their course and they have no idea where they are. So they go down to 20 m above ground and ask a passing wanderer. "Could you tell us where we are?"
"You are in a balloon."
So the one pilot said to the other:
"The answer is perfectly right and absolutely useless. The man must be an economist"
"Then you must be businessmen", answers the man.
"That's right! How did you know?"
"You have such a good view from where you are and yet you don't know where you are!"
Light bulb jokes are always in...
Q: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.
Q: How many mainstream economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: Two. One to assume the existence of the ladder and one to change the bulb.
A2: Two. One to assume the existence of the latter and one to change the bulb.
Q: How many neo-classical economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It depends on the wage rate.
Q: How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.
A2: None. If it really needed changing, market forces would have caused it to happen.
A3: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
A4: None. "There is no need to change the light bulb. All the conditions for illumination are in place."
A5: None, because, look! It's getting brighter! It's definitely getting brighter !!!
A6: None; they're all waiting for the unseen hand of the market to correct the lighting disequilibrium.
The above light bulb jokes were mostly stolen from an article in The Wharton Journal, Feb. 21, 1994, by Selena Maranjian, who undoubtedly pilfered the humor from someone else. Selena also suggested (for you B-school types):
Q: How many Wharton MBAs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, if you hire me. I can actually change the light bulb by myself. As you can see from my resumι, I've had extensive experience changing light bulbs in my previous positions. I've also been named to the Wharton Light Bulb list, and am presently a teaching assistant for Light Bulb Management 666. My only weakness is that I'm compulsive about changing light bulbs in my spare time.
Q: How many B-school doctoral students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I'm writing my dissertation on that topic; I should have an answer for you in about 5 years.
Q: How many economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: Eight. One to screw it in and seven to hold everything else constant.
A2: One to prepare the proposal, an econometrician to run the model, one each MS and PhD students to write the theses and dissertations, two more to prepare the journal article (senior authorship not assigned), four to review it, and at least as many to refine the model and replicate the results.
Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, but it really gets screwed.
Q: How many investors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None the market has already discounted the change.
Q: Why did God create economists ?
A: In order to make weather forecasters look good.
Q: Why did the economist cross the road?
A: It was the chicken's day off.
Q: What does an economist do?
A: A lot in the short run, which amounts to nothing in the long run.
Given 1000 economists, there will be 10 theoretical economists with different theories on how to change the light bulb and 990 empirical economists laboring to determine which theory is the "correct" one, and everyone will still be in the dark.
Two economists meet on the street. One inquires, "How's your wife?" The other responds, "Relative to what?"
To an economist, real life is a special case.
Allow me to tell one joke in Finnish... its difficult to translate without losing the funny point
K: Miten ekonomi ja ekonomisti eroavat toisistaan?
V: Samalla tavoin kuin alkoholi ja alkoholisti!
I asked an economist for her phone number....and she gave me an estimate.
Conversation between two Dinosaurs:
Dinosaur #1: "How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
Dinosaur #2: "What is an economist?"
Dinosaur #1: "A flunkie mathematician who tries to predict the population of kangaroos in Australia. But that's not important and don't ask what a Kangaroo is."
Dinosaur #2: "I don't know, how many?"
Dinosaur #1: "10 economists and one grad student. One economist to make a model, one to run the regression, one to test the hypothesis, one to interpret the results, one to conclude how to screw it on, one grad student to screw it on, and five economists trying to fight off the dinosaurs trying to eat them.
Economists have forecast 9 out of the last 5 recessions.
An econometrician and an astrologer are arguing about their subjects. The astrologer says, "Astrology is more scientific. My predictions come out right half the time. Yours can't even reach that proportion." The econometrician replies, "That's because of external shocks. Stars don't have those".
Heard at the University of Oslo campus:
We all know what pareto optimal allocation means... What about Jesus-optimal allocation when all persons are equally well off, and one person really gets it badly worse off, while all the rest are much better off...
A traveler wandering on an island inhabited entirely by cannibals comes upon a butcher shop. This shop specialized in human brains differentiated according to source. The sign in the shop read:
Artists' Brains $9/lb Philosophers' Brains $12/lb
Scientists' Brains $15/lb Economists' Brains $19/lb
Upon reading the sign, the traveler noted, "My those economists' brains must be popular!" To which the butcher replied, "Are you kidding! Do you have any idea how many economists you have to kill to get a pound of brains?!"
HA! ... It's a *supply side* joke!
A totalitarian head of state asked for an economist with one arm to advise the government. Why? Because he was tired of economists who say: "Well on one hand ... But on the other hand ..." Harry Truman
The Commerce Department has a 46-page application packet for economists to seeking to run its leading economic index, but the packet warns: "the government will evaluate only the first 25 pages of a written proposal." The Wall Street Journal, July 21, 1995
In Canada there is a small radical group that refuses to speak English and no one can understand them. They are called separatists. In this country (USA) we have the same kind of group. They are called economists.
Nation's Business
An economist was asked about the meaning of life. He replied: It depends on the parameter values.
On the first day God created the sun so the Devil countered and created sunburn. On the second day God created sex. In response the Devil created marriage. On the third day God created an economist. This was a tough one for the Devil, but in the end and after a lot of thought he created a second economist!
Three leading economists took a small plane to the wilderness in northern Canada to hunt moose over the weekend. The last thing the pilot said was, remember, this is a very small plane and you will only be able to bring ONE moose back.
But of course, they killed one each and come Sunday, they talked the pilot into letting them bring all three dead moose onboard. So just after takeoff, the plane stalled and crashed. In the wreckage, one of the economists woke up, looked around and said, "Where the hell are we? Oh, just about a hundred yards east of the place where we crashed last year.
"Economic man" never gets a hang-over, if he doesn't decide that the advantages of acquiring it exceed the draw-backs.
Everybody has a comparative advantage in some respect, provided that performances are not entirely in the third quadrant.
"This man is a first year economics student, so we can't show you his friends." Tim Ferguson, DAAS Farewell Tour, 1994
An economist is someone who didn't have enough personality to become an accountant.
An economist is someone who knows 100 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women/men.
Q: What is a recent economics graduate's usual question in his first job?
A: What would you like to have with your french fries sir?
An economist returns to visit his old school. He's interested in the current exam questions and asks his old professor to show some. To his surprise they are exactly the same ones to which he had answered 10 years ago! When he asks about this the professor answers: "the questions are always the same only the answers change!"
Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.
A central banker walks into a pizzeria to order a pizza.
When the pizza is done, he goes up to the counter to get it. There a clerk asks him: "Should I cut it into six pieces or eight pieces?"
The central banker replies: "I'm feeling rather hungry right now. You'd better cut it into eight pieces."
Reproduced below is an Economist Joke that illustrates the separate facilities solution to an externality problem.
Three guys decide to play a round of golf: a priest, a psychologist, and an economist.
They get behind a very slow two-some, who, despite a caddy, are taking all day to line up their shots and four-putting every green, and so on. By the 8th hole, the three men are complaining loudly about the slow play ahead and swearing a blue streak, and so on. The priest says, "Holy Mary, I pray that they should take some lessons before they play again." The psychologist says, "I swear there are people that like to play golf slowly." The economist says, "I really didn't expect to spend this much time playing a round of golf."
By the 9th hole, they have had it with slow play, so the psychologist goes to the caddy and demands that they be allowed to play through. The caddy says O.K., but then explains that the two golfers are blind, that both are retired firemen who lost their eyesight saving people in a fire, and that explains their slow play, and would they please not swear and complain so loud.
The priest is mortified; he says, "Here I am a man of the cloth and I've been swearing at the slow play of two blind men." The psychologist is also mortified; he says, "Here I am a man trained to help others with their problems and I've been complaining about the slow play of two blind men."
The economist ponders the situation. Finally, he goes back to the caddy and says, "Listen, the next time could they play at night."
A physicist, a chemist and an economist are stranded on an island, with nothing to eat. A can of soup washes ashore. The physicist says, "Let's smash the can open with a rock." The chemist says, "Lets build a fire and heat the can first." The economist says, "Lets assume that we have a can-opener..." Paul Samuelson
Q: What's the difference between a finance major and an economics major?
A: Opportunity Cost
An economist, a philosopher, a biologist, and an architect were arguing about what was God's real profession. The philosopher said, "Well, first and foremost, God is a philosopher because he created the principles by which man is to live." "Ridiculous!" said the biologist "Before that, God created man and woman and all living things so clearly he was a biologist." "Wrong," said the architect. "Before that, he created the heavens and the earth. Before the earth, there was only complete confusion and chaos!" "Well," said the economist, "where do you think the chaos came from?"
The First Law of Economists: For every economist, there exists an equal and opposite economist.
The Second Law of Economists: They're both wrong.
If all the economists were laid end to end
a) it would be a good thing
b) they would be more comfortable
c) they would never reach conclusion
d) all of the above
e) none of the above
f) they would point in different directions
Two economists are walking down the street. One sees a dollar lying on the sidewalk, and says so.
"Obviously not," says the other. "If there were, someone would have picked it up!"
We have 2 classes of forecasters: Those who don't know . . . and those who don't know they don't know.
John Kenneth Galbraith
"Murphy's law of economic policy": Economists have the least influence on policy where they know the most and are most agreed; they have the most influence on policy where they know the least and disagree most vehemently. Alan S. Blinder
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. Laurence J. Peter
A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year. Marty Allen
Having a little inflation is like being a little pregnant inflation feeds on itself and quickly passes the "little" mark. Dian Cohen
I don't think you can spend yourself rich. George Humphrey
If all economists were laid end to end they would not reach a conclusion. George Bernard Shaw
Practical men ... are usually the slaves of some defunct economist John Maynard Keynes
If you put two economists in a room, you get two opinions, unless one of them is Lord Keynes, in which case you get three opinions. Winston Churchill
Shall I tell you the opinion of a famous economist on jealousy? Jealousy is just the fact of being deprived. Nothing more. Henry Becque
Stephen M. Goldfeld, in The Journal of Money, Credit and Banking. November, 1984, p. 611: "An economist is someone who sees something working in practice and asks whether it would work in principle."
Under socialism, if you have two cows, you give one to your neighbor.
Under Communism, if you have two cows, you give both to the State, and the State gives you milk.
Under capitalism, if you have two cows, you sell one and buy a bull.
Economists don't answer to questions others make because they know what the answer is. They answer because they are asked.
There is also a joke about the last Mayday parade in the Soviet Union. After the tanks and the troops and the planes and the missiles rolled by there came ten men dressed in black.
"Are they Spies?" Asked Gorby?
"They are economists," replies the KGB director, "imagine the havoc they will wreak when we set them loose on the Americans"
The mathematician's child and the economist's child were in the third grade together, and the teacher asked, "If one man with one shovel can dig a ditch in ten days, how long would it take ten men with ten shovels to dig the same ditch?" Both children raised their hands.
The teacher said to the mathematician's child, "Johnny, how long?" and little Johnny said, "One day, teacher."
The teacher looked at the economist's child and said, "John Maynard, is that right?"
Little John Maynard said, "Teacher, it all depends."
"Having a house economist became for many business people something like having a resident astrologer for the royal court: I don't quite understand what this fellow is saying but there must be something to it." Linden. (Jan. 11, 1993). Dreary Days in the Dismal Science. Forbes. Pp. 68-70.
A sure fire way to determine if someone is an economist: Ask the suspect "what's the difference between ignorance and indifference?" If the reply is "I don't know and I don't care" you can be pretty sure its an economist. Now the only question is what to do with him.
If an economist and an IRS agent were both drowning and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced that they were going to start using economists instead of rats in their experiments. Naturally, the American Agricultural Economics Association was outraged and filed suit, but NIH presented some compelling reasons for the switch:
1) NIH lab assistants become very attached to their rats. This emotional involvement was interfering with the research being conducted. No such attachment could form for an economist.
2) Economists breed faster.
3) Economists are much cheaper to care for and PETA won't object regardless of the experiment.
4) There are some things even rats won't do. However, it is difficult to extrapolate test results to human beings.
Why do economists carry their diplomas on their dashboards? So they can park in the (morally/intellectually) handicapped parking.
A guy walks into a DC curio shop. While browsing he comes across an exquisite brass rat. "What a great gag gift" he thinks to himself. After dickering with the shop keeper over the price, the man purchases the rat and leaves. As he's walking down the street, he hears scurrying noises behind him. Stopping and looking around, he sees hundreds, then thousands of rats pouring out of the alleys and stairwells into the street behind him. In a panic he runs down the street with the rats not far behind. The street ends at a pier; he runs to the end of the pier and heaves the brass rat into the Potomac. All of the rats scurry past him into the river where they drown. After breathing a sigh of relief and wiping his brow, the man heads back to the curio shop, finds the shop keeper and asks, "Do you have any brass economists?"
TEN THINGS TO DO WITH A GRADUATE ECONOMICS TEXTBOOK
1. Press pretty flowers.
2. Press pretty insects.
3. Use it as paper weight on your already over cluttered desk.
4. Leave out in obvious places to impress uninformed undergraduates.
5. Mail to the White House as an intimidation tactic.
6. Give it a walk-on part in a boring European existentialist play.
7. Just throw the damn thing away.
8. Leave out for the rain and other forces of nature to reckon with.
9. Read it (ha ha ha), and weep.
10. Get a refund from bookstore so you can buy weekend's beer supply.
How can you tell when an economist is lying? His lips are moving.
Why won't sharks attack economists? Professional courtesy.
Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with an economist?
A: An offer you can't understand.
Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hell, you need a whole department of them just to prepare the research grant.
They say that Christopher Columbus was the first economist. When he left to discover America, he didn't know where he was going. When he got there he didn't know where he was. And it was all done on a government grant.
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first. What does your mother do all day?"
Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor." "That's wonderful. How about you, Amy?" Amy shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman." "Thank you, Amy" said the teacher. "What does your parent do, Billy?" Billy proudly stood up and announced,
1. "Nothing. He's an economist."
2. "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse." The teacher was aghast and went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation. Billy's dad said, "I'm actually an economist. How can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"
A Berkeley economist died and went to heaven (no, that's not the joke). There were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the economist was, and greeted him warmly. St. Peter took the economist up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk. The economist said, "I like all this attention, but what makes ME so special?" St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your consultation clients, and by my calculation you're 193 years old!"
A Chicago economist died in poverty and many local futures traders donated to a fund for his funeral. The president of (the Merc, the Board of Trade, etc.) was asked to donate a dollar. "Only a buck?" said the president, "only a dollar to bury an economist? Here's a check; go bury 1000 of them."
An economist and a physician had a dispute over precedence. They referred it to Diogenes, who gave it in favor of the economist as follows: "Let the thief go first, and the executioner follow."
What's the difference between mathematics and economics?
Mathematics is incomprehensible; economics just doesn't make any sense.
A judge was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to empanel anyone available. He found a dozen economists and told them that they were a jury. The economists thought this would be a novel experience (none had ever been at a trial before, except as a defendant or an expert witness) and followed the judge into the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty. The jury went into the jury-room, the judge started getting ready to go home, and everyone waited. After three hours, the judge sent the bailiff into the jury-room to see what was holding up the verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said, "Well, have they arrived at a verdict yet?" The bailiff shook his head and said, "Verdict? Hell, Judge, they're still doing nominating speeches for the foreman's position!"
For three years, the young assistant professor took his vacations at a country inn. He had an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap! "Why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the child would have my name!" "Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and we finally decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than an economist."
Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, a practical economist, and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures.
A Harvard economist had a summer house in the Maine woods. Each summer he'd invite a different friend (no, that's not the punch line) to spend a week or two. On one occasion, he invited a Czechoslovakian to stay with him. They had a splendid time in the country rising early and living in the great outdoors. Early one morning they went out to pick berries for their morning breakfast. As they went around the berry patch along came two huge bears. The economist dashed for cover. His friend wasn't so lucky and the male bear reached him and swallowed him whole. The economist ran back to his car, drove to town as fast has he could, and got the sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his rifle and dashed back to the berry patch with the economist. Sure enough, both bears were still there. "He's in THAT one!" cried the economist, pointing to the male. The sheriff looked at the bears, and without batting an eye, leveled his gun, took careful aim, and SHOT THE FEMALE. "Whatd'ya do that for?!" exclaimed the economist, "I said he was in the other!" "Yep," said the sheriff, "and would YOU believe a economist who told you that the Czech was in the Male?"
WASHINGTON DC GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST HUNTING REGULATIONS AND BAG LIMITS
GENERAL
1. Any person with a valid Washington DC hunting license or a Federal Income Tax Return may harvest government economists.
2. Taking of economists with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
3. Killing of economists with a vehicle is prohibited. If one is accidentally struck, remove the dead economist to side of the road and proceed to the nearest car wash.
4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest economists from limousines, Mercedes Benz's, the Metro, or Porsches.
5. It shall be unlawful to shout "research contract" or "I need a policy consultant" for the purpose of trapping economists.
6. It shall be unlawful to hunt economists within 100 feet of government buildings.
7. It shall be unlawful to use decision memos, draft legislation, conference reports, or RFP's to attract economists.
8. It shall be unlawful to hunt economists within 200 feet of Senate or House hearing rooms, libraries, whorehouses, massage parlors, special interest group offices, bars, or strip joints.
9. If an economist is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it. It will also be a shame.
10. Stuffed or mounted economists must have a DC Health Department inspection certificate for rabies and vermin.
11. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female congressional aid, sheep, legislator, policy maker, bookie, lobbyist, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting economists.
BAG LIMITS
1. Econometrician 2 2. Two-faced Policy Analyst 1
3. Macro Policy Wonk 4 4. Big-mouthed Populist 2
5. Relevant Economist: EXTINCT 6. Cut-throat Administration Seeker 2
7. Back-stabbing Senior Author 2 8. Brown-nosed Deputy Kisser 2
9. Silver-tongued Congressional Consultant $100 BOUNTY
10. Wise-assed Civil Libertarian 7 11. Staff economist no limit
That's all folks! Jokes about lawyers, blondes and many others can be found from Larry's Land of the Lost or from the wrecked humor page. Irony in economic theory is also an interesting topic. Other resources for economists are also available. But the one and only economist jokes page is this! Beware of imitations. Please send in more jokes to list or your comments. Back to My Home Page, Pasi Kuoppam ki / pkm@etla.fi